I’m not supporting random, mysogynistic arranged marriages. In fact, I would be against it if my parents put my little bro in such a position
My point is that I am confident that my parents have either my or the family’s best interest in mind
I also do not think I am mature enough to pick for myself, nor do I want to spend the effort courting
Also…
For better or worse, I am very financially driven. I am VERY VERY VERY lucky in that my family can afford for me to go into academia, but if my family were worse off, I’d give that up and go into finance in a heartbeat, regardless of how miserable I might be
Not a bad thing… However money doesn’t buy happiness. I’ve lived in a somewhat larger than average sized house and I’ve lived in a tiny apartment marginally bigger than an office someone would work at a desk job in. It doesn’t matter to me so long as I’ve got a roof over my head
I’m aware everyone is different… But materialistic possessions aren’t everything.
Isnt this akin to sacrificing your own dignity? Why would you tolerate such a heinous breach in trust? Unless you’re okay with polygamy, not that i’d judge you for having that opinion although I personally abhor the concept even though I am aware it works for a very select few of people and I am aware it is employed within certain cultures.
However that’s not a good argument. The notion “there are no savage or civilised cultures” is bullshit
… just look at the Taliban… Look at how much they suck… There are undoubtedly savage cultures.
I’m not advocating for penalties to be associated with polygamy, but I don’t agree with it at all.
However I’d ask you… The net outcome for the child you raise during this relationship… How is a cheating father going to impact the development, the eventual moral fibre of the child? Especially if you accept the father cheating
Perhaps this subliminally engrained the notion “cheating is okay, mom is okay with dad cheating”. I don’t think that’s a healthy paradigm for a child to grow up in.
Would you be against adoption? Or pregnancy with a C section?
Without the advent of even more advanced technology in the realm of fertility I almost certainly won’t be able to reproduce without seriously expensive medical intervention. Even then it’s a big “if”.
With that in mind, adoption comes to mind for me. Even if I COULD reproduce, I don’t want my child to potentially have to go through what I’ve been through…
So adoption it is for me… regardless of medical advancements
Hence why people have different priorities. My priorities aren’t going to revolve around engraining myself within a society where I can raise a kid in a manner than shields said child from degeneracy and depravity namely because… It’s not like I can have a kid anyway, so in the past this concept has totally slipped my radar.
Hence my priorities shift towards individualism as opposed to collectivism. With that being said, over the past year I’ve realised the one massive shortcoming associated with this view
That is… My actions might negatively affect the environment by which other people wish to raise their kids in
With that in mind anything that I do/watch that isn’t appropriate for kids… I make sure isn’t done in front of kids
That’s my compromise for the time being until the day where (we can only hope) I settle down with a long term partner and look at the options I have.
I’ve settled down substantially over the past 12 months, however in the past the tv shows I watched, the music I listened to… It didn’t cross my mind “kids probably shouldn’t overhear slayer or Saving Private Ryan”. As such I tend to go out if my way to ensure I’m not exposing youth to the societal aspects I was exposed to at an age far too young to fully comprehend what I was being exposed to.
I exist in a fringe minority, society needn’t bend over backwards to accommodate my odd worldview shaped around my shortcomings that I have little control over.
Going to tag @BrickHead here as this ideology I’ve conveyed accounts for much of the seemingly selfish rhetoric I’ve posted in the past. I’m not an asshole… Though perhaps I am a LITTLE bit pessimistic, but can you blame me? Think about it from my perspective.
This is how dating ideally works
Dating → find a compatible partner → marriage → kids → kids do the same → human race perseveres → someone invents a machine that makes batman shaped waffles
We’re pretty much the only people on the internet that aren’t millionaire geniuses that are in touch with our emotions and travel recreational full time with our beautiful soul mate.
Why would it matter what religion it is considering those who are involved in it for the most part want to be there or are brought up in it. Considering this is America, they are there by their own volition.
Why would such restrictions matter considering both partners would be restricting? That is, for example, if a Muslim couple keeps Halal, abstains from alcohol, and has the wife dressed in a hijab or niqab, what would such restrictions and codes of conduct have to do with the stability of the marriage considering they are restricting by their own volitions? Also, possible dim views on others who don’t do this has no effect on the marriage either.
Why would this view matter if both partners and those in their community share these views? Do you think that only religious people view others outside of their community are the only ones who have specific views, including dim views, on others? Go to a rich country club, black-tie event, or spend time around rich people and let me know how some of them view others. What do some of their dim views on others have to do with their own marriages? Nothing. Likewise there would be no effect on two gym rats’ marriage because of possible dim views on fat people.
As unpleasant as this is, what would this have to do with two partners who feel the same way?
What couple doesn’t have dim views on other people behaviors, practices, beliefs, and so on? If two people with brains do things a certain way, they are doing so because they feel their way is best and that other ways are inferior.
Yes, that’s a lot better than the free-for-all environment many people have to deal with now considering the lack of community feeling in the USA. Check out the book Bowling Alone if you want to get the lowdown on this phenomenon.
I would never suggest that someone treats a place like a bar or nightclub in which men try to “pick up” women. The first and foremost reason to be there is religious ceremony and education, which is what I said. It just so happens that such a place has like-minded people there who share the same worldview, desires, and ways of doing things.
No, we can’t, and I never stated or implied this.
How do you know everyone in this day and age functions in the same way, shares the same outlook on life, and desires the same things? What about people who do not put a high value on career trajectories or have simple ones (eg, garbage man, nurse, teacher, a woman working at a bakery, or a hairstylist, my wife being one). What about people for whom this works?
I’ve known successful people, including a patent lawyer, a guy younger than me, who married their high- school sweethearts. What does a career trajectory have to do with dedicated partners. I am married, and if I want to change my job tomorrow, I will still have the same wife and kids.
Even if lifespans are longer, this does not mean people must look over appropriate matches. There are people who have done this and paid a price for it. I have already gone over how my former therapist had men aged 35-plus crying in his office because they wanted to play the waiting game and did not propose to the good women in their lives who wanted marriage, only for them to never find such women again.
You might consider modern lifespans long, but many people’s chances at finding the right mate dries up rather quickly. The word “baggage” applies. Age applies. Life stressors apply. Fertility applies (which means that even if people live until 90, their most fertile years remain the same). As all these add up and make it increasingly difficult for many people to find a spouse.
If you or anyone else chooses to wait for the sake of waiting or for every box to be checked off or every bucket list item be achieved before “settling down”, you can.
Marriage is about fatherhood and procreation. If people want to treat finding a mate, or as you put it, a soulmate, as some type of smorgasbord and perhaps lose big, they’re free to do it.
If you don’t mind doing this, you’re free to do it. I consider it highly nerve-wracking for many men and maybe even inappropriate for finding a mate considering it involves approaching strangers who one has no clue about.
Thank you.
People who have inner turmoil and depression generally don’t look approachable.
ohh yeah…
This area is what my primary project is on.
I would LOVE to pursue this further, but my experience with my advisor has shut down this route for the forseeable future
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but people might have to hold back from just literally LOL’ing at the idea of a man marrying a woman to not be treated like a husband, having no sex, and his chance at procreation being totally ended.
You might be looking for such a man literally forever.
I was intending on adopting my brother’s baby had he or she not been aborted! I am not opposed to a C section. I can’t think of a reason why I would be.
Completely shielding someone from degeneracy is likely impossible in this day and age. Shunning it is effective too. No one has total control over an eighteen-plus year old adult; so if one’s children want to be degenerates, so be it.
In the past I listened to punk, hardcore (particularly New York Hardcore), and death metal; watched violent movies; viewed pornography; and viewed trashy shows and movies, including Jerry Springer, Howard Stern, and an assortment of Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax. As I’ve said numerous times, as a kid, I grew up around a lot of graffiti, and so I developed an appreciation for graffiti-style lettering and art, and at one time wanted to be involved, until I realized what a violent and dangerous scene graffiti is.
Yes, I still like some songs, though I do not listen to them. Some of the stuff was generally funny and exciting to watch. I have met various people in the NYHC and NY graffiti scene. I still remember concerts and events I went to.
And with that said, I will say all of what I mentioned is destructive garbage, no matter what pleasure it gave me or even can give me now. And there is no one in the scenes I mentioned who I’ve met who is dealing with a full deck, so to speak.
No one can tell me there is any socially-redeeming value in all I mentioned. Music scenes and subcultures in which fans, participants musicians act like rage-filled lunatics and walk around like stank-faced walking time bombs and destroying things and any media in which people indulge in uncontrolled passions like lower animals… sorry, I am not into it and I don’t want that near me or my family.
No, do not blame you, but I cannot indulge in such a pessimistic view or any nihilistic views, even if tempted to. Nor do I, at this point of life, believe that life should be some permissive and experimental ground in which a man should do everything he pleases.
As I’ve said several times here, if people wish to treat life like that, they’re free to do so. They’ll see the results.
I’ll touch upon this again. I do not blame people for being pessimistic about many things. I am completely pessimistic in my view of the United States and the West as a whole. But for my own life, I am not pessimistic I do not have a reason to be at the current time. And I cannot indulge in pessimism considering I have two children to raise.
We’ve made it to 60 posts, mentioned arranged marriage, religion and abortion without ad homemin attacks or political extremism. I think we’re doing pretty good
