So, when I was maybe 5 or 6 me and the girl across the street were playmates.
One day we were playing with water color finger paints and I guess I thought it would be a good idea to paint my pecker like a flower and show her what a good job I did.
Her mom came out at the perfectly wrong time and we weren’t allowed to play together any more.
That is always the very first thing I think of when I see her and it makes me blush and feel kinda awkward.
Sky just reminded me of a sin I need to confess. When I was 4-5 years old I had a girl friend, Jackie Black. She lived across the courtyard from me. She was super cute and sweet and we would full on make out touching tongues and everything.
There was this other girl named Shirly in the courtyard too. Shirley was a couple years older than me and a real bitch. I’d play with her and she would boss me around and tell on me all the time. One day when Shirley & I were out front we saw Jackie come out of her apartment with a bag of Cheetos. Shirley told me to go beat up Jackie and take the Cheetos. So I went over, punched Jackie in the stomach and snagged the Cheetos.
Shirley and I ate the whole bag. Karma didn’t take too long to come around 'cause I vomited that orange crap. Hopefully in Shirley’s apartment but I don’t remember. Karma still isn’t thru with me to this day. I have to eat Cheetos everyday at work. Realy.
After that event Jackie never said a thing and was still my girlfriend right up until she moved. Our moms even got together one time later and I remember making out with Jackie in the back of the stationwagon while we were driving around. It took me more than ten years to get another girlfriend.
There were a couple other incidents with tempra-paints and female classmates boobies at around that time too.
I don’t know if it is from being a product of the hippy era or what, but I still like hippy chicks and painted titties.
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
So, when I was maybe 5 or 6 me and the girl across the street were playmates.
One day we were playing with water color finger paints and I guess I thought it would be a good idea to paint my pecker like a flower and show her what a good job I did.
Her mom came out at the perfectly wrong time and we weren’t allowed to play together any more.
That is always the very first thing I think of when I see her and it makes me blush and feel kinda awkward.
[/quote]
I hope that shit has washed off your pecker by now…[/quote]
Washed off, worn off, re-done by lipstick a bunch of times.
It may just have been a prelude of things to come.
[quote]orion wrote:
nothing so far…[/quote]
Hey. You haven’t confessed anything. You just keep sniping at the women.
You gotta fess up.
I know you’ve done some goofy stuff at some point. I’m betting it includes one of those really severe german dommes using your face as a whoopie cushion while slapping your nuts with a riding crop and putting cigarettes out on your chest.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
nothing so far…[/quote]
Hey. You haven’t confessed anything. You just keep sniping at the women.
You gotta fess up.
I know you’ve done some goofy stuff at some point. I’m betting it includes one of those really severe german dommes using your face as a whoopie cushion while slapping your nuts with a riding crop and putting cigarettes out on your chest.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
[/quote]
Its ok, let him be a wimp. He’s too afraid of being judged.
[quote]jchenky wrote:
So as embarrassing as this is. I feel like it should be told.
I think I have IBS… or something that just causes me to all of a sudden have to go to the washroom lol
I was at my then boyfriends condo which only has one bathroom. He was taking a shower when the urge to go to the bathroom hit me.
We had not been dating too long so the option of me storming into the bathroom was immediately out of the question. I had contemplated running to the 7-11 that was around the corner but 1. I would either not make it or 2. Make it but then have to explain why I left and needed to be buzzed back in to the building.
I opted for grabbing some plastic grocery bags, squatting in the kitchen and then threw the bag over the balcony which was 4 stories up.
I never told him about this…
[/quote]
Did you at least light it on fire first lol?
IBS sucks. I know the pain.
[quote]bond james bond wrote:
[quote]jchenky wrote:
So as embarrassing as this is. I feel like it should be told.
I think I have IBS… or something that just causes me to all of a sudden have to go to the washroom lol
I was at my then boyfriends condo which only has one bathroom. He was taking a shower when the urge to go to the bathroom hit me.
We had not been dating too long so the option of me storming into the bathroom was immediately out of the question. I had contemplated running to the 7-11 that was around the corner but 1. I would either not make it or 2. Make it but then have to explain why I left and needed to be buzzed back in to the building.
I opted for grabbing some plastic grocery bags, squatting in the kitchen and then threw the bag over the balcony which was 4 stories up.
I never told him about this…
[/quote]
Did you at least light it on fire first lol?
IBS sucks. I know the pain.
[/quote]
No, I didn’t light it on fire first haha
[quote]jchenky wrote:
So as embarrassing as this is. I feel like it should be told.
I think I have IBS… or something that just causes me to all of a sudden have to go to the washroom lol
I was at my then boyfriends condo which only has one bathroom. He was taking a shower when the urge to go to the bathroom hit me.
We had not been dating too long so the option of me storming into the bathroom was immediately out of the question. I had contemplated running to the 7-11 that was around the corner but 1. I would either not make it or 2. Make it but then have to explain why I left and needed to be buzzed back in to the building.
I opted for grabbing some plastic grocery bags, squatting in the kitchen and then threw the bag over the balcony which was 4 stories up.
I never told him about this…
[/quote]
Thats funny. im picturing somebody walking down the street at the wrong time as an air mailed bag of poop hits there head lol.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
nothing so far…[/quote]
Hey. You haven’t confessed anything. You just keep sniping at the women.
You gotta fess up.
I know you’ve done some goofy stuff at some point. I’m betting it includes one of those really severe german dommes using your face as a whoopie cushion while slapping your nuts with a riding crop and putting cigarettes out on your chest.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
[/quote]
I was asked by a woman whether she “could really let herself go”.
I was like “hell yeah!”.
She was kind of reverse cowboying me and took a dump on me.
lol this thread is gold, I’m going to go back and read through the whole thing.
When I was in kindergarten I wandered into the wrong area of a video rental store and caught a glimpse of some bj scene. The next week I asked one of my friends if she wanted to try it (I wish things were that easy now). We went under the big slide and after a minute got bored, then went and played on the swings.
Cheated on my first girl friend with both of her best friends. I ended up coming clean about the 2nd one the day after, then started dating her. The first, who I actually had the most feelings for, is to this day her one and only best friend but has obviously not told her. Karma’s a bitch though, so now when I post on tnation I get made fun of a lot.
Pardon me; test post.
I was at Hollywood Video, uh…returning some videotapes, and there were these two little kids running around the store. Their mom was completely oblivious, or maybe she wasn’t, but she clearly didn’t give a fuck that her two kids (maybe 4 and 6) were literally doing laps around the store screaming at the top of their lungs. It was really getting on my nerves.
So when they came around the corner of one of the display racks I stuck my foot out and tripped one of them. This kid went flying headfirst into this big cardboard box display with a bunch of used DVDs in it and knocked over a bunch of shit. No one but him realized what had actually happened, that I had purposefully tripped him. He was crying and, of course, still screaming at the top of his lungs. When his mom came rushing over to see if he was alright I looked right at her and said in the most condescending, asshole-type voice I could muster and said, “You should keep a closer eye on your kids so things like this don’t happen more often.” Then I looked square at the kid and said, “You should watch where you’re going. Maybe next time you’ll be more careful.”
I left and didn’t even rent anything.
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
nothing so far…[/quote]
Hey. You haven’t confessed anything. You just keep sniping at the women.
You gotta fess up.
I know you’ve done some goofy stuff at some point. I’m betting it includes one of those really severe german dommes using your face as a whoopie cushion while slapping your nuts with a riding crop and putting cigarettes out on your chest.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
[/quote]
I was asked by a woman whether she “could really let herself go”.
I was like “hell yeah!”.
She was kind of reverse cowboying me and took a dump on me.
[/quote]
Oh the things I miss out on by not being a playa…
[quote]on edge wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
nothing so far…[/quote]
Hey. You haven’t confessed anything. You just keep sniping at the women.
You gotta fess up.
I know you’ve done some goofy stuff at some point. I’m betting it includes one of those really severe german dommes using your face as a whoopie cushion while slapping your nuts with a riding crop and putting cigarettes out on your chest.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
[/quote]
I was asked by a woman whether she “could really let herself go”.
I was like “hell yeah!”.
She was kind of reverse cowboying me and took a dump on me.
[/quote]
Oh the things I miss out on by not being a playa…
[/quote]
Jelly, huh?
I was first in my class in Plundering and Pillaging, but never really got the taste for blood like my classmates.
Oh, I could fight with the rest of them, I had a longsword, but like to use the war hammer - makes a big impression when you tag someone either on the helmet or shoulder with a long handled war hammer! but when I would knock them down, I wanted them to get up so we could keep fighting - killing them when they are down is just not fitting with me.
the rest of the clan always gave me shit about it, saying that it is doing them a favor, and sending them to Valhalla - but I never could do that.
do you all think less of me?
[quote]Edgy wrote:
I was first in my class in Plundering and Pillaging, but never really got the taste for blood like my classmates.
Oh, I could fight with the rest of them, I had a longsword, but like to use the war hammer - makes a big impression when you tag someone either on the helmet or shoulder with a long handled war hammer! but when I would knock them down, I wanted them to get up so we could keep fighting - killing them when they are down is just not fitting with me.
the rest of the clan always gave me shit about it, saying that it is doing them a favor, and sending them to Valhalla - but I never could do that.
do you all think less of me?
[/quote]
I dont think its possible for me to think less of you, you big lovable and squishy ginger.
[quote]DBCooper wrote:
I was at Hollywood Video, uh…returning some videotapes, and there were these two little kids running around the store. Their mom was completely oblivious, or maybe she wasn’t, but she clearly didn’t give a fuck that her two kids (maybe 4 and 6) were literally doing laps around the store screaming at the top of their lungs. It was really getting on my nerves.
So when they came around the corner of one of the display racks I stuck my foot out and tripped one of them. This kid went flying headfirst into this big cardboard box display with a bunch of used DVDs in it and knocked over a bunch of shit. No one but him realized what had actually happened, that I had purposefully tripped him. He was crying and, of course, still screaming at the top of his lungs. When his mom came rushing over to see if he was alright I looked right at her and said in the most condescending, asshole-type voice I could muster and said, “You should keep a closer eye on your kids so things like this don’t happen more often.” Then I looked square at the kid and said, “You should watch where you’re going. Maybe next time you’ll be more careful.”
I left and didn’t even rent anything.[/quote]
I just wanna read all your stories.