[quote]SHREDTODEATH wrote:
2. I’m a closet misanthropist[/quote]
It’s just misanthrope 
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]SHREDTODEATH wrote:
2. I’m a closet misanthropist[/quote]
It’s just misanthrope :)[/quote]
- I’m not very good at knowing the difference in philosophical terms that represent the same idea.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]bond james bond wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
After 14 years of marriage have never farted around the wife :/[/quote]
Not even in the shower?
Those are the best farts.
[/quote]
Nope
Hey that reminds me, the wife was talking at work how her and I shower together at least twice a week and everyone was shocked. Everyone at her office never shower with their spouse.
edit: I pee in the shower and he doesn’t so he’ll wait for me to finish my enjoyable shower pee before he jumps in
Is this weird?[/quote]
My husband and I shower together regularly. We have for years. Some of our best talking is done there.
I like numbers and track all three household meters (gas, hydro, water) every day and track our household usage on a spreadsheet.
I vacuum when I’m angry or get angry when I vacuum. No one has been able to figure it out but everyone, including the dog, knows to steer clear when the Dyson makes an appearance.
Also, I hate washing my hands. For some reason, I purely hate the feel of drying water on my hands.
I was on the City Planning Commission for 10 years.
I then ran for City Council and got my ass kicked in the polls
for the last 8 years, I have been licking my wounds, training like a madman, and drinking like a fish. I am finally coming out of it now.
But - I have a jaded view of all politics, and politicians - since I have known them personally and seen what they are capable of… as such, I have a better idea of the electoral college, and have not voted for president in the last 3 elections - living in a blue state, that decision has always been made for me.
there. I said it~
[quote]Edgy wrote:
I was on the City Planning Commission for 10 years.
I then ran for City Council and got my ass kicked in the polls
for the last 8 years, I have been licking my wounds, training like a madman, and drinking like a fish. I am finally coming out of it now.
But - I have a jaded view of all politics, and politicians - since I have known them personally and seen what they are capable of… as such, I have a better idea of the electoral college, and have not voted for president in the last 3 elections - living in a blue state, that decision has always been made for me.
there. I said it~[/quote]
Respect.
[quote]Edgy wrote:
I was on the City Planning Commission for 10 years.
I then ran for City Council and got my ass kicked in the polls
for the last 8 years, I have been licking my wounds, training like a madman, and drinking like a fish. I am finally coming out of it now.
[/quote]
Rocky Montage to becoming council chairman?
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
In grade 7, my friends and I used to egg things. Our Friday and/or Saturday nights would be spent hurling extra-large Grade A eggs at cars, houses, and businesses. It was a magical time and the source of many fond memories.
Except for this one night.
The playground of our public school was separated from a major road by a chainlink fence. There was some work being done on the road, with traffic cones and barriers set up all over the place. Being crafty little fucks, we arranged these cones to form a bottleneck, funneling vehicles down a narrow lane directly in front of the fence, at which time we’d hop up and egg the ever loving shit out of whatever happened to drive by.
Under the cover of darkness, we spent a good hour at this, and used up at least 10 dozen eggs. The highlight was when we carpet-bombed a stretch limo - it was a united effort with about 2 dozen eggs used, each one a direct hit. When we were nearing the end of our supply, we pelted an open Jeep YJ with about 6-7 eggs, a couple of which hit the driver.
About two minutes later, we noticed a dark figure approaching us from the other end of the playground, approx 20 meters away. “WHICH ONE OF YOU LITTLE FUCKS THREW THAT SHIT?!” it yelled. We scrambled. Being the slowest and fattest kid, the driver decided to pursue me. I huffed and puffed to a nearby, darkly lit sidestreet (big mistake!) and the muscular, mullet-clad 80’s throwback closed in on me.
He grabbed me by the shirt and informed me that I had “picked the wrong fucking guy”. He looked and spoke just like the guy in the parking lot in Terminator 2 (“Fuck you, you little dipshit!!”). I had never had an adrenaline dump like that and felt like shitting my pants. I thought he was going to kick the shit out of me.
Then things got weird.
“Come on, you’re fucking coming with me to the car wash!!” he said
“Sir, your jeep is way back there, and I don’t want to come to the car wash. Here, I’ll give you 10 bucks so you can get it washed” I replied.
“Fuck that!! YOU’RE COMING WITH ME TO THE CAR WASH!” he continued. He was really adamant about me physically coming to the car wash with him. There wasn’t a molesty-vibe to it at all - I honestly think he was just a complete meathead and had trouble making sense of the situation in his cro-magnon head.
“I will give you ten bucks, but I am not coming with you” I said.
“I don’t want your ten bucks…just remember…you picked the WRONG GUY. I’m going to the carwash” he said.
Then he walked away, and that was that.
My confession here is that I told my friends that I pushed him and told him to fuck off, when in reality I almost soiled my tighty-whiteys…
[/quote]
We did something similar to this one devils night when I was about 13. There was a steep hill with train tracks on the top of it and a roadway with a traffic light at the bottom. We were firing up lines of stopped cars with a couple dozen eggs per red light.
Then we ran out of eggs. But the railroad tracks are covered with huge chunky rocks. So we used them instead. The first red light sounded like a horrendous clatter of broken glass, denting steel, and people screaming. We all kind of knew that we went way over the top on that one and started heading up the tracks. Thats when we hear footsteps from behind us and the guy yells “You Motherfuckers!” and started shooting at us.
No one was hit, and we all ran for at least a good half mile, too afraid to even look over our shoulders. Once we got far enough away and got a good vantage point way up on a hill we could see squad car lights racing all over the place and some deer spotter lights sweeping areas of the hill where we were.
[/quote]
Holy SHIT!!! That must have been fucking scary!
[quote]Maiden3.16 wrote:
When C.J. Wilson came in relief in the 2011 World Series and started pitching like shit i threw the tv remote onto the floor breaking it apart. I snapped it back together to where you could barely see that it was cracked and it still worked. Also if you shook or dropped it you could hear a rattling sound from broken plastic parts inside.
When my gf came home she didnt notice a thing. A few days later she was using the remote and she dropped it. Immediatly I notified her that she just broke the remote and I pointed out the crack in it and the rattling parts on the inside. She could’nt understand how the thing broke like that by just dopping it on the ground. I explained that things aren’t made like they are used to and she need to be more careful.
About a year later I told her I broke the remote and was just waiting for her to drop it so I could blame it on her. I thought it was funny and figured it’s been long enough. Big mistake. She started crying saying she couldn’t beleive I lied to her for so long and that she couldn’t trust me anymore. Turned a good day into a bad week.[/quote]
This one is too good! HAHA
I don’t care for most American Jewish people. They confuse the New York Times for the Torah.
I despise France, even though I am fluent in French. Or perhaps because I am fluent in French.
I like German lager, but not as much as Irish ale, or better yet, Belgian.
I hate racism, but often wonder if arab countries’ inability to self-govern in some sort of normal fashion isn’t a racial flaw. I don’t admire this in myself.
On the subject of racism, due to a long plane flight, I ended up with an email-friend who is an upper member of the EDL, which is a pseudo-racist and thought-to-be-anti-semitic political party in England. He spends a lot of time trying to convince me that the English people and the Jewish people are natural allies and that his political party is not anti-semitic. If he did not look like a football hooligan stuffed into a suit, I might take him more seriously.
If I could live anywhere in the USA, it would be Texas. But not Houston or any major city. Some little tiny town in the Hill Country. With a neighborhood shul.
The former (or maybe current, but this was a while ago) Lt. Governor of Texas asked me "You know why Texans are like Jews? I answered “dunno,” expecting some off-color joke. He responded with a smile and a drawl, “because Texans don’t take their hats off inside, either.” He then proceeded to walk into a rather fancy party and declined to take off his hat. I have secretly coveted a cowboy hat (black) ever since.
I despise most lawyers. We do deserve the reputation we have.
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
I don’t care for most American Jewish people. They confuse the New York Times for the Torah.
I despise France, even though I am fluent in French. Or perhaps because I am fluent in French.
I like German lager, but not as much as Irish ale, or better yet, Belgian.
I hate racism, but often wonder if arab countries’ inability to self-govern in some sort of normal fashion isn’t a racial flaw. I don’t admire this in myself.
On the subject of racism, due to a long plane flight, I ended up with an email-friend who is an upper member of the EDL, which is a pseudo-racist and thought-to-be-anti-semitic political party in England. He spends a lot of time trying to convince me that the English people and the Jewish people are natural allies and that his political party is not anti-semitic. If he did not look like a football hooligan stuffed into a suit, I might take him more seriously.
If I could live anywhere in the USA, it would be Texas. But not Houston or any major city. Some little tiny town in the Hill Country. With a neighborhood shul.
The former (or maybe current, but this was a while ago) Lt. Governor of Texas asked me "You know why Texans are like Jews? I answered “dunno,” expecting some off-color joke. He responded with a smile and a drawl, “because Texans don’t take their hats off inside, either.” He then proceeded to walk into a rather fancy party and declined to take off his hat. I have secretly coveted a cowboy hat (black) ever since.
I despise most lawyers. We do deserve the reputation we have.
[/quote]
I dont like jews. I am jewish. I am a self hating jew, which is just a longer way of saying im jewish.
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
If I could live anywhere in the USA, it would be Texas. But not Houston or any major city. Some little tiny town in the Hill Country. With a neighborhood shul.
[/quote]
Really? I’m from a tiny little town in the Hill Country. It’s a simply beautiful part of the state. What towns did you have in mind?
I ring the door bell to my neighbors when I leave my place. They live above me and they are so loud at night.
[quote]Waittz wrote:
I dont like jews. I am jewish. I am a self hating jew, which is just a longer way of saying im jewish.
[/quote]
I am sabra Israeli, born and bred on the Gush. All the wimpy Gush Jews are dead.
[quote]Legionary wrote:
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
If I could live anywhere in the USA, it would be Texas. But not Houston or any major city. Some little tiny town in the Hill Country. With a neighborhood shul.
[/quote]
Really? I’m from a tiny little town in the Hill Country. It’s a simply beautiful part of the state. What towns did you have in mind?[/quote]
I don’t really know. I really liked Llano.
Apparently most of the settlers in that area were from Germany, and a full 1/4 or so were of Jewish extraction, albeit not religion. It reminds me of the pretty parts of the Golan.
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
[quote]Legionary wrote:
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
If I could live anywhere in the USA, it would be Texas. But not Houston or any major city. Some little tiny town in the Hill Country. With a neighborhood shul.
[/quote]
Really? I’m from a tiny little town in the Hill Country. It’s a simply beautiful part of the state. What towns did you have in mind?[/quote]
I don’t really know. I really liked Llano.
Apparently most of the settlers in that area were from Germany, and a full 1/4 or so were of Jewish extraction, albeit not religion. It reminds me of the pretty parts of the Golan.[/quote]
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
[quote]Legionary wrote:
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
If I could live anywhere in the USA, it would be Texas. But not Houston or any major city. Some little tiny town in the Hill Country. With a neighborhood shul.
[/quote]
Really? I’m from a tiny little town in the Hill Country. It’s a simply beautiful part of the state. What towns did you have in mind?[/quote]
I don’t really know. I really liked Llano.
Apparently most of the settlers in that area were from Germany, and a full 1/4 or so were of Jewish extraction, albeit not religion. It reminds me of the pretty parts of the Golan.[/quote]
Ya thats what I thought of too Derek. Although Fredrickspurg is pretty tourist driven so that may be a turn off for Jewbacca. I love visiting but I couldnt live there.
[quote]farmerson12 wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
[quote]Legionary wrote:
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
If I could live anywhere in the USA, it would be Texas. But not Houston or any major city. Some little tiny town in the Hill Country. With a neighborhood shul.
[/quote]
Really? I’m from a tiny little town in the Hill Country. It’s a simply beautiful part of the state. What towns did you have in mind?[/quote]
I don’t really know. I really liked Llano.
Apparently most of the settlers in that area were from Germany, and a full 1/4 or so were of Jewish extraction, albeit not religion. It reminds me of the pretty parts of the Golan.[/quote]
Ya thats what I thought of too Derek. Although Fredrickspurg is pretty tourist driven so that may be a turn off for Jewbacca. I love visiting but I couldnt live there.[/quote]
I have spilt seed there, this is confession thread right.
[quote]farmerson12 wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
[quote]Legionary wrote:
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
If I could live anywhere in the USA, it would be Texas. But not Houston or any major city. Some little tiny town in the Hill Country. With a neighborhood shul.
[/quote]
Really? I’m from a tiny little town in the Hill Country. It’s a simply beautiful part of the state. What towns did you have in mind?[/quote]
I don’t really know. I really liked Llano.
Apparently most of the settlers in that area were from Germany, and a full 1/4 or so were of Jewish extraction, albeit not religion. It reminds me of the pretty parts of the Golan.[/quote]
Ya thats what I thought of too Derek. Although Fredrickspurg is pretty tourist driven so that may be a turn off for Jewbacca. I love visiting but I couldnt live there.[/quote]
Yes, most people here are descended from German speaking immigrants and its evident in the local culture. Fredericksburg is nice. The vineyard is certainly worth a visit.
God’s Country
[quote]aeyogi wrote:
I always flex in the mirror before taking a shower.[/quote]
Is there anyone here who doesn’t do that? I feel like it’s more of a confession if you don’t, haha.