The Collective Power of T-Nation: What If?

Off Topic
41

Fightinirish26 wrote:
Nate, I respect you alot. However, I don’t agree with this.

Be as Emerson said, a self-reliant man who always comes back from being down. Don’t reduce yourself to asking for money over the internet. Have some pride man.

Once again, no offense.

I can completely understand this rational. Nates’ struggles are nothing compared to mine. I understand if he’s been a member for X amount of years and has X amount of friends. My problems are alot more CAREER THEATINING than my girlfriend wondering how I’m going to pay for her engagement ring.

I say “hit the showers too” with your I need help. I GUARANTEE THERE’S PEOPLE WHO NEED IT ALOT WORST. Tough it out buddy you’ll bemore gratefull you did in the long run.

42

So I don’t understand? We shouldn’t ask friends for help if there are other people who need the same type of support more? There will ALWAYS be people who need it “more” or “less” than you/they do or think. It’s about doing the right thing. Don’t doubt Nate’s character. He’s not trying to run a scam and he in no way thinks he deserves any part of the financial help he requests more than anyone else in a same, worse, or even better situation than he… but I guess I don’t have to defend his motives to those who really understand or know him :wink:

In love,
Stace

43

[quote]Stace22 wrote:
So I don’t understand? We shouldn’t ask friends for help if there are other people who need the same type of support more? There will ALWAYS be people who need it “more” or “less” than you/they do or think. It’s about doing the right thing. Don’t doubt Nate’s character. He’s not trying to run a scam and he in no way thinks he deserves any part of the financial help he requests more than anyone else in a same, worse, or even better situation than he… but I guess I don’t have to defend his motives to those who really understand or know him :wink:

In love,
Stace [/quote]

I have kept my silence about this topic just because I am really unsure how I feel about it. I have always lived behind not asking my friends for money. At first i thought this was a bit of an abuse of T-Nation but more importantly it puts people in a hard spot. I mean… if we don’t give money are we no longer being friends? Is there something unfriendly about not handing over money? I’d like to think I am dependable when someone is in need but I am much more capable than handing over a bill from my wallet. I don’t consider giving someone money “the right thing”. It makes me really uncomfortable for there to be a second question about peoples decisions. If it was a optional offer please leave it at that… but when you ask a favor you have to understand that many people will take you up and some people won’t.

I feel for your condition Nate and I still stay on the fence about how I feel about this. I do not think any less of you for your requests… you’re feeling like this is the last resort. It isn’t you just haven’t opened all the doors completely. If there is anything I can do feel free to contact me and I’ll help. I just don’t feel like sending you money is the right thing and I have to stick by that but in no way does that mean I am shutting off my ability to help you with my on labor.

“Before you ask a friend for money, ask yourself what you need more”
Addison Hallock

44

[quote]A-Town Crown wrote:
Fightinirish26 wrote:
Nate, I respect you alot. However, I don’t agree with this.

Be as Emerson said, a self-reliant man who always comes back from being down. Don’t reduce yourself to asking for money over the internet. Have some pride man.

Once again, no offense.

I can completely understand this rational. Nates’ struggles are nothing compared to mine. I understand if he’s been a member for X amount of years and has X amount of friends. My problems are alot more CAREER THEATINING than my girlfriend wondering how I’m going to pay for her engagement ring.

I say “hit the showers too” with your I need help. I GUARANTEE THERE’S PEOPLE WHO NEED IT ALOT WORST. Tough it out buddy you’ll bemore gratefull you did in the long run.
[/quote]

To me, my father dieing plus financial troubles are much worse than my own health plus financial troubles.

It’s easier to “tough it out” when you’re the one with the health problems.

Seeing my daughter being attacked by a virus and not being able to take the pain from her, or do much to ease her pain was far worse than getting my leg broken in 5 places, having a titanium rod put in and having it partially re-broken, and getting the rod taken out a year later.

Did you miss the part about his father? Have you read any other posts made by him talking about his father?

How is your career more important than the life of a loved one?

I’d live in the street if it meant keeping my daughter safe, and have come very close a couple times if not for asking my family and friends for help.

45

[quote]A-Town Crown wrote:
Maybe someone will make a donation to me. My situation is alot worst than this. I have to file for bankruptcy b/c I had a medical condition I had to have operated on and I have no insurance. Plus I have to struggle each month just to pay for my medications (and thats not even the half of it). Nate I don’t doubt your problems are important to you, but they seem pretty trivial to me.

You guys can laugh at this all you want, but food stamps are the only way I’m able to afford eating 4k cals a day.

After all this I still manage to have 8 tubs of grow, my multis, oils, and pwo needs in my cupboard.

Look on the bright side Nate, things could be ALOT worst. I have to buy fish oil from Walmart instead of buying Flameout (now that’s a tragedy).

Good Luck.[/quote]

I am grateful for those who have responded to me with words of encouragement and financial support. In fact, many have given more than I asked or would have ever expected.

Because I’ve been helped by others, I want to be able to do the same. It seems as though your situation (medically) could be much worse than what I’m facing. If you are truly in need, please send me your PayPal address, and I will send you some financial support to help you during your difficult times.

I trust and have faith that you will use it as needed.

46

[quote]Stace22 wrote:
So I don’t understand? We shouldn’t ask friends for help if there are other people who need the same type of support more? There will ALWAYS be people who need it “more” or “less” than you/they do or think. It’s about doing the right thing. Don’t doubt Nate’s character. He’s not trying to run a scam and he in no way thinks he deserves any part of the financial help he requests more than anyone else in a same, worse, or even better situation than he… but I guess I don’t have to defend his motives to those who really understand or know him :wink:

In love,
Stace [/quote]

Good points Stace.

[sarcasm]I guess I shouldn’t help anyone else until I start with those who need it more first…well, I guess I’m off to a few third world countries for a couple of decades.

Need to take care of that before giving blood again, or helping my wife with her college work.

There are people who need food more than my daughter too, I guess I should wait until they’re fed before giving her another meal.[/sarcasm]

47

I’ll give you my response cut and dry. I prefer the no bullshit approach and I’m about to piss some of you off.(Keep in mind that I don’t like or dislike this natedogg internet person. I’m gonna answer it like I would anybody else.)

This is the most shameless thing I’ve seen in a while. I would be living on the streets before I asked for money on the internet.

This is not a “last resort”. A last resort would mean actually having no other choice but to get another job.

I’m pretty sure this is not a scam but it is pathetic nonetheless.

Sorry if this offends anyone. I know my words come across as harsh and cruel but let’s try to look at what’s really going on here without all the lovey dovey “but nate dogg is so great” stuff.

48

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
Nate, I respect you alot. However, I don’t agree with this.

Be as Emerson said, a self-reliant man who always comes back from being down. Don’t reduce yourself to asking for money over the internet. Have some pride man.

Once again, no offense.[/quote]

No offense taken. I agree with you.

I have been self-reliant during this time and have not asked anyone for help. It makes me cringe when asking others for help. I want to help others, but I want to stand on my own (stubborn). When people ask me how I’m doing, I tell them I’m fine and that things are working out for me, my dad, Stacey, etc. I smile and keep on going.

Asking for help is the last thing I wanted to do, especially financially. I have prayed for ways to find some relief and despite other potential opportunities (getting a new contract at work, winning the lottery, having someone give me a large sum of money, working a second job, creating a business of my own on the side, etc.), this idea came to me as I laid awake in bed one night. As crazy as it seemed to me (and you), it seemed like something I should do.

Why not approach T-Nation? I have many friends here. I’ve talked to people and met people all over the world. I’ve been around a long time. I have been affected in many positive ways by those I have met. Many have prayed for me and my father (even when I hadn’t been saved at the time and wasn’t very religious or even had a true relationship with Christ). I thanked them and held onto their words of encouragement. I learned something from them.

I have come to the realization that my initial post is not about asking for financial help. Yes, it does help. I am appreciative of everyone that has been able to help me so far. But it goes beyond that. It’s much more powerful than that.

I have realized that this post…the people that have responded…are going to have a major impact in my life in some way. I will learn something from them, or I will be able to help them in some way. I’m not sure what at this point. But from some of the PM’s I’ve received, I know that these people (from all over the US and the world), will help me on a far greater level than any financial support possible. And that this post was a means to bring them to me or me to them.

I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s something I will pray about. So some of the people that have PM’d me will be hearing from me personally. It may not be everyone that has contacted me or helped me (I will eventually find a way to return the favor to them), but those who have made a personal impact on another, higher level that I feel there is a strong connection.

Many of those who have insisted on helping me without question have been fellow Christians. Some have not been believers, but they had money to spare and felt a need/reason to help me out (call it karma or paying it forward). And some were also going through hard times or had gone through hard times, but they wanted to help.

I do not expect everyone to feel okay with this. I don’t expect everyone to help me. No matter how many people help me, I will find a way to return the favor tenfold. And when I’m better off, I will help so many others and will look for opportunities to do so.

49

[quote]JPBear wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
Nate, I respect you alot. However, I don’t agree with this.

Be as Emerson said, a self-reliant man who always comes back from being down. Don’t reduce yourself to asking for money over the internet. Have some pride man.

Once again, no offense.

Do you really think this helps at all? He already said this is hard for him to do. I think it takes a lot of humility to ask for help.

Pride is not a virtue.

Besides, it’s not like this is just some random internet board. Nate has been around forever, a lot of T-Nation members have even met him, and everyone knows what he has been through. Its not like begging for money on the street, it’s asking friends for help. [/quote]

I’m not getting into particulars. I don’t agree.

50

Nate dogg wrote:
If you are truly in need, please send me your PayPal address, and I will send you some financial support to help you during your difficult times.

Thanks anyway dogg. I’ll make it, I just found a job so I’ll get by. I really wish you and your father the best.

51

[quote]TriGWU wrote:
I have always lived behind not asking my friends for money. At first i thought this was a bit of an abuse of T-Nation but more importantly it puts people in a hard spot. I mean… if we don’t give money are we no longer being friends? Is there something unfriendly about not handing over money?[/quote]

Of course not. I didn’t expect a thing from anyone. And it has no affect on our friendship whether you (or anyone else) decide to help or not.

Of course it’s optional. And some may feel the need to help me for some reason.

Tri, I greatly appreciate your support. I think there may be other doors that need to be opened. I have looked for other ways, and this one came to me one night out of the blue.

If there is another way you think you can assist me or help me, please let me know. I am more than open to hear your advice or just some encouraging words.

The idea of people sending me money doesn’t sit with me very well at all. I didn’t EVER want to come to a point where I asked others to help me out. I have worked hard to get to where I am now, and I have done nearly everything to pay off my debts, keep my credit rating intact, help my father, plan a future with Stacey and help others in some way, shape or form at the same time.

I am now making educated financial decisions (even though I made many ill decisions in the past). I am educating myself in many ways so that I can better myself financially, spirtually, physically, emotionally, etc.

Thank you for posting your concerns and being there for a fellow friend in need.

God bless,

Nate

52

[quote]carter12 wrote:
I’ll give you my response cut and dry. I prefer the no bullshit approach and I’m about to piss some of you off.(Keep in mind that I don’t like or dislike this natedogg internet person. I’m gonna answer it like I would anybody else.)

This is the most shameless thing I’ve seen in a while. I would be living on the streets before I asked for money on the internet.

This is not a “last resort”. A last resort would mean actually having no other choice but to get another job.

I’m pretty sure this is not a scam but it is pathetic nonetheless.

Sorry if this offends anyone. I know my words come across as harsh and cruel but let’s try to look at what’s really going on here without all the lovey dovey “but nate dogg is so great” stuff.

[/quote]

Thank you for your honest opinion.

If there is anything I can do to help you in some way, please let me know.

Nate

53

[quote]carter12 wrote:
I’ll give you my response cut and dry. I prefer the no bullshit approach and I’m about to piss some of you off.(Keep in mind that I don’t like or dislike this natedogg internet person. I’m gonna answer it like I would anybody else.)

This is the most shameless thing I’ve seen in a while. I would be living on the streets before I asked for money on the internet.

This is not a “last resort”. A last resort would mean actually having no other choice but to get another job.

I’m pretty sure this is not a scam but it is pathetic nonetheless.

Sorry if this offends anyone. I know my words come across as harsh and cruel but let’s try to look at what’s really going on here without all the lovey dovey “but nate dogg is so great” stuff.

[/quote]

Got to admit, i agree.

I think religion is being used as a reason to be helpful or a concious decider if this is a good idea or not. Its just not for me and im bowing out on that note.

54

[quote]A-Town Crown wrote:
Thanks anyway dogg. I’ll make it, I just found a job so I’ll get by. I really wish you and your father the best. [/quote]

Thank you.

I’m glad to hear that you have found a job. If there is some way I can help you, please don’t hesitate to ask.

55

I hope we don’t get swamped with begging threads. I’m sure we could all use a few dollars for something.

Nate, you may not like this advice, but it sounds like you are quick to throw your money at things. It’s great that you are giving and caring, those are great qualities, but throwing your money at other people’s hardships doesn’t solve the problem.

Do you get my point? You are too easy. Oh no, an ex is defaulting. Hey, it’s not your problem. You have your own life to live, and you need to take charge of your own well being, and believe it or not, I don’t think your father would want you to be destitute on his behalf. Perhaps you can find ways to get support on his behalf, for example, so that you don’t have to.

Anyhow, I want you to think very carefully about what could be a worse situation. Do you know why? Well, obviously I’m going to tell you. If that situation were ever to arise, you’ve already used up most of your goodwill.

Again, while your close friends may be there to help you, casting your net over the Internet because “the idea came to you” is simply hysterical.

I don’t remember begging everyone to send me money when I went through a period of unemployment and destroyed my credit rating. If your credit rating isn’t destroyed and you can buy food and pay rent, then things aren’t that bad. Sometimes you have to make that choice.

What I might have whined and begged for was a job, or some help finding a job, perhaps a job that paid good money. It sounds like that is the type of help you really need – once you learn to hold on to your money.

Nate, you need to decide what type of man you are going to be in this life. A big heart does not have to mean the same thing as an open wallet. You need to learn to put food on your own table and look after your prospective family and help others within your own means.

I’m sorry to chastise you in this way, but it is for your own good.

56

With that out of the way, something I have done in the past is help people with their resume and help them figure out how to progress their career.

If I can help you in that way, I would be happy to.

57

G’day Nate,

Nate, thank you for giving me the opportunity to help a man, a Christian.

I will pray for you, your father and your fiancee.

PM me with your PayPal details.

Duke.

58

[quote]vroom wrote:
Nate, you may not like this advice, but it sounds like you are quick to throw your money at things. It’s great that you are giving and caring, those are great qualities, but throwing your money at other people’s hardships doesn’t solve the problem.[/quote]

I agree. I have made some financial decisions on impulse that I’m paying for now.

I’m not begging for money. I never have. I posed a question, a “what if” and people responded. I’m not expecting people to throw money at me.

It was my problem. At the time, I agreed to help her out financially because we lived together, she had bad credit, we loved each other, and I thought it would all work out. She agreed to pay her bills. Unfortunately, everything she had was on my credit and her accounts were in my name. But, that has already been taken care of. I eliminated those debts and was able to get everything taken out of my name. I’ve been working on taking care of everything else since then.

It could be worse. I know that. I’m not asking anyone to help me if they don’t feel compelled to for some reason. I’m not trying to use up my goodwill so that if an even worse situation arises, I’ll be left high and dry.

I lived on unemployment last year. I was determined to get through it all without anyone’s help. I did. I’ve managed to keep my credit intact. I am able to buy food…I’m not paying rent because I am living at home with my dad. I’m helping pay the bills, but until my debts are repaid, I can’t afford to pay rent.

I found a job. I enjoy it tremendously. It doesn’t pay as much as a previous job (before I was laid off), but it’s a little more than my last job that I took as a temporary job. Unfortunately, it’s going to take time to make more money through raises and profit sharing.

As for other jobs, I interviewed for more than a dozen jobs (and applied to at least 30-40) for more than a year. Some paid even less. A few paid more, but I was never offered those positions. Trust me, I searched, I used my resources, networks, friends, etc. to find something better. My current job is better, but I don’t live in an area or market where people are well paid. Not making excuses, just stating the facts. And I’m not moving…not while my father is close to dying. Not now. Not yet.

I’m working on it. :slight_smile:

I understand where you’re coming from. I agree with much of what you said. I’ll get through this, things will be better (I’ve been saying that for nearly two years now), and in the end, I’ll turn around and be able to help someone else…whether it’s financially or some other means. :slight_smile:

59

Nathan, I know you and your motives. I know I’m biased, but I’m here with you day in and day out and know that you will always strive to do what’s right… you are an inspiration to me :wink:

(awwww… I know, I know… it’s soooo sappy but true!)

60

I didn’t mean to sound like an @sshole when I said other people have worst problems. It’s not my business who gives you what and I highly doubt that you’ll use the money for bad purposes. I just meant yours sounded trivial. I could understand if it was an absolute emergency and you or someone you loves life was on the line, but this was just to move out of your parents house. I really do wish you two the best and hopefully you truly will help someone out who needs it. Like I said before, good luck buddy.