The Collective Power of T-Nation: What If?

Off Topic
21

Just admit it, your out of Surge and Metabolic Drive and don’t know what to do, lol. Just playin man.

Sorry to here about your difficulties but can anyone send me some money too while your at it, lol. My mom has cancer and I was raised by my grandma who has alzhiemers. We all have problems but I guess it’s better than standing on a street corner with a sign.

It sounds like you have a good support group here man and I wish you and your father the best of luck and may god be with the both of you. If I weren’t so broke I’d be glad to help.

22

Nate~
I’m sorry to hear about your current difficulties. I will keep you and your father in my prayers. Best of luck to you…

23

I have no idea what kind of job you have or the hours it works, but most of the guys I work with have 2 jobs for some of the reasons you have listed.

It is not uncommon for some of these guys/girls to work 16 to 18 hours a day, going from one job to the next across the street. If they are lucky they get 1 or 2 days off a week…

Again, I don’t know what your situation is, but when hard times fell on me my answer was generating more income with a second job. Probably more than you will get off of this board.

24

I want to thank everyone that has been able to send me a donation. Some of you have been much more generous than I expected!!! I truly appreciate it and hope that I can do something for you in return.

I have considered getting a second job, and I know many people do that to make ends meet. But I don’t want to do that at this time because I would have no time for anything else (spending time with father, some time to workout and keep my own health, time to rest, time to spend with Stacey, etc.). I feel like I have so little time as it is. By the time the weekend comes around, I’m still busy doing laundry, cleaning, shopping for groceries, etc.

I’m not asking for thousands of dollars in help from T-Nation members (although, it could be possible if a few hundred people did donate $5). And so far, I’ve been completely amazed at how much several people have given me. Stacey was nearly in tears when I told her that I made this post and that people did respond and wanted to help.

Like I said, it was just a thought I had. I don’t want people to give me a lot of their money, especially if they are going through hard times. But just about everyone has a few dollars they could give to someone and when multiplied by many others, it can make a huge impact.

When I worked for United Way and Big Brothers Big Sisters, it was always interesting to see that the people that made the least helped or donated the most money. Some of the people that have donated money to help me are also having financial hardships or other issues. Yet, they were more than willing to go above and beyond and send some help my way.

I can only hope that I will be able to help them in some way, and help many others when things get better.

25

Nate

Sorry to hear things are rough. I remember when I was first married and was way over my head. One winter I ended up working 105 hours per week for 3 months…then got sicker than a dog.

One thought, I would think that there would be many ways that your Dad could qualify for finanial assistance during his illness. If he is too proud to ask, ask for him. That is why we pay taxes and make donations to organizations of our choice. There are simple things available such as Meals-on-Wheels and some that assist with medical and day-to-day bills. Try an internet search. Good luck.

PS. Send me your name and address. That Pay Pal stuff is too complicated for this old fart! :slight_smile:

26

[quote]Nate Dogg wrote:
I have considered getting a second job, and I know many people do that to make ends meet. But I don’t want to do that at this time because I would have no time for anything else (spending time with father, some time to workout and keep my own health, time to rest, time to spend with Stacey, etc.). [/quote]

At this point, your right about not getting a second job. No amount of money is going to outweigh spending time with your father for the rest of his life.

I’m sorry its like this for you, but as you can see… you’ve got plenty of support here and stacey is obviously flexible enough to help you through everything.

You’ve found God, as well as done your share in helping others it seems, so I’m sure your shit will be together soon enough.

We’ll keep praying.

27

[quote]Avoids Roids wrote:
Nate

Sorry to hear things are rough. I remember when I was first married and was way over my head. One winter I ended up working 105 hours per week for 3 months…then got sicker than a dog.[/quote]

I’ve already had my own health problems since my dad became sick. I wouldn’t want to get worse during this time. But I understand that there are times when you have to do whatever is necessary to get through.

Well, we have been checking into things. Because my dad was terminated from his job after six months, he lost his health insurance (he’s now on COBRA), life insurance and some other benefits. He has nearly maxed out his health insurance. In fact, he only has 41 days of coverage available for Hospice (who have already come in to help).

He had to apply for disability, but because of the requirements (and the time it takes), he won’t be alive long enough to get any benefits. We’ve also gone to the church for support. He’s paying the minimum required for his medical bills, credit cards, etc.

But there may be other services he can use as well. Thanks for the tips!

28

For the believers on this board who have given advice, it is important to keep in mind what the scripture says about a brother or sister in need. Nate may have to make some more sacrifices, work longer, sell things, etc. but to say that without helping is rather pointless. Again, this is only for believers, not everyone that has commented.

James 2:15,16 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?
and
Mt?5:42
Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

29

[quote]Tbowling wrote:
For the believers on this board who have given advice, it is important to keep in mind what the scripture says about a brother or sister in need. Nate may have to make some more sacrifices, work longer, sell things, etc. but to say that without helping is rather pointless. Again, this is only for believers, not everyone that has commented.

James 2:15,16 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?
and
Mt?5:42
Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
[/quote]

I don’t take issue with the biblical verse, they are a source of inspiration and strength for me, but- The James 2:15,16 quote just doesn’t fit.

If that were the case, I would have no problem helping with more than what was asked, but it isn’t.

Don’t take this as a slam, but you may have noticed that Nate is not asking for food, clothing, or shelter, he’s asking for more and better.

There could be a lot to be gained here. A lot of strenth that can’t be gotten in the weight room. Spiritual strength and a working faith that doesn’t waiver, but gets stronger through the trials of life.

I’ve had some major ones. I lost my mom at 12, had some serious injuries of my own, lost dad to cancer at 21, and by the time I reached 23, was fully addicted to booze, crack, and heroin. I also came to the conclusion that if this is what God had to offer, I didn’t want it. It took a whole lot if shit before I was going to ask God for help. Fortunately, that changed before I killed myself.

I can look back on that now as a source of strength that has hardened my faith, and made me a better person for it. Nothing made any sense when it was happening, but in retrospect, there were a lot of valuable messages waiting in those events for me to use in life.

Nate- You can do the same. Hang in there and practice some faith. You will come out on the ther side of this stronger in every way. It will be difficult, and the work of suffering is not easy, but the price of faith is a lot higher than a few bucks. A lot more valuable too.

Hang in there,

Pete

30

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Don’t take this as a slam, but you may have noticed that Nate is not asking for food, clothing, or shelter, he’s asking for more and better.
[/quote]

I understand what you’re getting at, but I have a different take on it.

Yes, he’s asking for money so he can get out on his own and feel better about himself.

Isn’t one’s mental state important?

As a teenager, I had food, clothing, shelter, a good job, and a place to worship freely. If I’d have more money, I could have gotten out on my own, had my own place, a car, etc.

That looks greedy, doesn’t it?

Did you know my parents were Bi-Polar and not medicated? Did you know they were abusive? Did you know that I was depressed? Did you know I had thoughts of suicide and other self-injury? Does that change your perspective on my situation?

My mental state was not a good place to be.

Is Nate’s? He’s been very open w/ his issues and what he has to deal with. Maybe it comes across to some as “he just wants better” when in fact, if they knew Nate’s mental state or saw what he dealt with everyday, or understood it from a diferent perspective, it would be something along the lines of, “He’s losing his mind and needs to get out before he does something rash.”

Just think about it from a different perspective for a minute.

31

Hey Nate,

I’ve seen your posts over the years and have much respect for your knowledge, dedication, and spirit.

You seem to have a great non-materialistic girlfriend who wants to be your bride. Make a girl happy already.

Did you ever wonder why the wedding ring goes on the ring finger before the diamond engagement ring? In times past it was not uncommon for a man to give a woman only her wedding band and to buy her a larger ring (with a diamond) on a later anniversary when they were more financially stable.

Think of how fortunate you are to have a girl who loves you so much. Get married now so your father can witness that huge moment in your life. You might regret it if he’s gone. I know I will when I’ll miss my dad when I get married.

PS: I don’t have much, but I’ll help with what little I have. Send me that paypal info.

32

[quote]Tbowling wrote:
James 2:15,16 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?
and
Mt?5:42
Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
[/quote]

I think it’s good that TBowling has referred to the bible. It’s good to remember your faith.

I truly believe in things going and coming back around. I’ve had financially, emotionally and health-wise difficult times and during those times people whom you’d never expect generously and unconditionally helped me.

I truly don’t keep tabs on who’s helped me or whom I’ve helped. When I’m helping someone else who’s having hardships, I think that I’m giving back to the people who have helped me in the past. And when someone has helped me, I kept it in my heart and told myself that when my life is in a better place, I’ll give back to these good people and to God by helping others in similar circumstances.

I’m glad I’m finally in a place in life where I have the ability to help others. I was blessed to have gotten here in life in part because of the generosity of others. So for them and myself, I put my best foot forward in the things that I do.

That’s my philosophical take on Nate’s situation as well. Nate has the weight of the world on his shoulders, and in my heart I know that any generosities given to him today, when he is in a better place in life, all the help and love he received will in part affect him in a positive way.

Working in healthcare, some of the resources that come to mind (I don’t know if this is available in your city, but…) include
-Public Health Nursing-- usually through your state/State Health Department. Anyone can refer any person with long-term/terminal disabilities/health problems. Based on a sliding scale per your income (or free of cost), a home health nurse, nurse’s aides, people to clean your house, etc…will visit the home several times a week to care for the patient.
-Meals-on-Wheels- or similar organization. Provides meals to homebound individuals at low or no cost, delivered to the home.
-Foodbank. Free or low cost.
-Hospital social workers can give you a list of community resources who provide all kinds of services.
-Church outreach departments.

From working in healthcare, I have seen that these kinds of resources can really help alleviate the financial, physical and time constraints that family care providers have, thereby giving them more time and resources to spend quality time with their ill family member. Also, I know you don’t have a lot of time, Nate, but the idea of Respite is really important in your kind of situation as well.

And good luck Nate. Spend as much time with your dad as you can. You’ll be in our hearts and our prayers.

33

I don’t know if you’ve considered this as an option, but a you should seriously consider a bankruptcy filing. Too many people think that filing bankruptcy means that a person is lazy or a deadbeat. Unfortunately, this is true in some cases. You’re not won of them. The bankruptcy laws were meant to protect people such as yourself - an honest person who has fallen on hard times due to an exceptional circumstance such as a family member’s illness. And please don’t say that you’re too proud to file bankruptcy. The bottom line is, you’re already begging for money on the Internet. Sorry to sound harsh, but it’s true. I also realize that people have mentioned that joining a church community would help as such communities generally help their members. I think that such community help is great, but let’s be realistic - as a brand new member, do you really think that others will rush to your aid? More than likely they’ll think you joined just to sponge off of them. Second, and I may just be a cynical old bastard, I believe that you can’t rely on anyone else. Sorry, but it’s true. You need to find a way to help yourself as best you can.

I realize this post is harsh and cynical. Please don’t think that I’m not trying to help or that I’m insulting your efforts. But again, let’s be realistic. Even if 1,000 T-Nation members sent you $5, that’s only $5,000. My guess is it will help, but it will not completely solve your financial troubles. I’m just urging you to think realistically.

34

[quote]MikeTheBear wrote:
I don’t know if you’ve considered this as an option, but a you should seriously consider a bankruptcy filing. Too many people think that filing bankruptcy means that a person is lazy or a deadbeat. Unfortunately, this is true in some cases. You’re not won of them. The bankruptcy laws were meant to protect people such as yourself - an honest person who has fallen on hard times due to an exceptional circumstance such as a family member’s illness. And please don’t say that you’re too proud to file bankruptcy.
[/quote]

I don’t mean to be unrealistic or discourage anyone’s advice to Nate but there are a few things I’d like to mention on his behalf. He’s worked very hard to maintain his excellent credit rating in spite of past financial difficulties (taking on his ex-girlfriends car, cell phone, rent, and insurance payments as well as all of his own while on very limited income when she defaulted on her agreements). Although he’s made his share of bad decisions in the past (having to pay nearly 20K on his credit card during the past year), but he’s worked very hard in spite of major changes in jobs, being on unemployment, and changes in living situations. I believe filing for bankruptcy would not be his best option at this point.

I don’t see it like this at all. Nate doesn’t beg for ANYTHING. He had to think long and hard about even suggesting such a proposal. He truly believes this is part of what he should do. Part of being able to bless some else is also learning to accept or sometimes step out on a limb to ask for a blessing.

[quote]
I also realize that people have mentioned that joining a church community would help as such communities generally help their members. I think that such community help is great, but let’s be realistic - as a brand new member, do you really think that others will rush to your aid? More than likely they’ll think you joined just to sponge off of them. [/quote]

As a faithful Christian, I know that I would help ANYONE in need; new, old, or young in any congregation of which I am a part. Of course I think others would rush to his aid! Just as some people who do not know Nate have rushed to his aid on this forum.

[quote]
My guess is it will help, but it will not completely solve your financial troubles. I’m just urging you to think realistically. [/quote]

Let me also asure that he in no way believes that this thread or any sum of money will solve all his financial problems. It’s simply one outlet he felt was the right move.

I mean this response with the utmost humility and sincerity. I’m sure Nate will consider any and all suggestions with a grateful and appreciative heart. Thank you to everyone who’s responded for all of your help. Any type of support to Nate be it financial or through means of advice, prayer, words of wisdom, and thoughtfulness is much appreciated and needed by both him and myself. I’m excited to know he has so many supporters. I can not express how much your encouragement and sincerity have touched both of our lives. We will continue in prayer with you all as we continue to seek God’s face and his peace through everything we are going to overcome.

Thanks
-Stace

35

I was under the impression that he was already behind on payments and his credit rating was already pretty bad. If in fact his credit rating is still excellent, then a bankruptcy filing may indeed not be in his best interest.

36

Look into disability support (not sure what its called in the US).

37

Don’t take this as a slam, but you may have noticed that Nate is not asking for food, clothing, or shelter, he’s asking for more and better.

[/quote]

No slam taken, I think it is just a misunderstanding. I agree completely that the most important part of this for Nate is the things he will get that will do more for him than money. David, Joseph, Moses, and Job all spent time alone or in the wilderness before becoming what they were supposed to be.

Nate’s experience, and eventual triumph, will do more for him than anything else. My point was only for BELIEVERS who offer advice, but nothing else. If someone who doesn’t believe, or a believer that hasn’t given advice, doesn’t feel impressed to give or comment, I have no problem with that.

Also, Nate has been on here a long time and never tried anything like this before that I am aware of. It seems that he is being transparent about his situation and need more than anything else. I have never been in a situation as demanding as Nate’s, but there have been times when others generosity made a difference to me. (and, since I am in grad school, still do) I can’t say whether he should have started this post or not, I can only determine what my response should be.

Also, I am very glad to hear that you have made it through your own situations and come out better for it.

38

Maybe someone will make a donation to me. My situation is alot worst than this. I have to file for bankruptcy b/c I had a medical condition I had to have operated on and I have no insurance. Plus I have to struggle each month just to pay for my medications (and thats not even the half of it). Nate I don’t doubt your problems are important to you, but they seem pretty trivial to me.

You guys can laugh at this all you want, but food stamps are the only way I’m able to afford eating 4k cals a day.

After all this I still manage to have 8 tubs of grow, my multis, oils, and pwo needs in my cupboard.

Look on the bright side Nate, things could be ALOT worst. I have to buy fish oil from Walmart instead of buying Flameout (now that’s a tragedy).

Good Luck.

39

Nate, I respect you alot. However, I don’t agree with this.

Be as Emerson said, a self-reliant man who always comes back from being down. Don’t reduce yourself to asking for money over the internet. Have some pride man.

Once again, no offense.

40

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
Nate, I respect you alot. However, I don’t agree with this.

Be as Emerson said, a self-reliant man who always comes back from being down. Don’t reduce yourself to asking for money over the internet. Have some pride man.

Once again, no offense.[/quote]

Do you really think this helps at all? He already said this is hard for him to do. I think it takes a lot of humility to ask for help.

Pride is not a virtue.

Besides, it’s not like this is just some random internet board. Nate has been around forever, a lot of T-Nation members have even met him, and everyone knows what he has been through. Its not like begging for money on the street, it’s asking friends for help.