Dude. This is so much better than your previous “I want to live inside you and feed off your organs” picture.
Now with this new found knowledge we will build you the ultimate dating profile and you can work on finding Mrs. Krabac
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Ha! Im typically terrified to put myself out there for criticism, but this has been much more helpful than expected! Didn’t think this would evolve into a help me making a dating profile, but damn, I’ll take the free advice!
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First impressions (for me):
Rich tech guy or someone in finance
- probably not a douchebag, but probably more interested in work or hanging out with friends than settling down anytime soon
Why I got that impression?
Confident smile (a good thing), relaxed, leaning back posture (conveys authority), bright picture with computer in background
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There shouldn’t be any problems from looks. Good symmetry and facial structure. Nothing missing like eyes or teeth or anything.
How do you feel about how you look?
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OMG, so much better!
You’re very funny. This entire terribly sad situation is quite perplexing.
If you had the last pic in a profile along with the Superman and nephew pics, I’d be stunned at lack of success.
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I’ll randomly chime in. Pics where you just look like you’re having a good time and/or are doing something cool seem to make the person way more intriguing.
No matter how pretty a girl is if she just has a serious pose or the snapchat pics it’s so lame. But one good pic with a smile and I’m sold.
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In the first pic, are you holding the kid or on the couch? lol
Im the little guy on the shoulders 
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This might be a geographical thing but, most if not all profile pictures people tend to use here betrays something about their interests. The implication becomes that if I can’t discern something about a person from their photographs they might not be very interesting.
For instance, when I’m online dating, I have pictures from peaks I’m at the top of, video clips of me doing kip-ups, or from when I’m outdoors rock climbing.
What I recall seeing is,
- Pics from the actual gym, not the changing room. Women will showcase how many plates they can squat
- Outdoorsy type pictures like mine
- Skiing/snowboarding pictures
- Pictures with their doggos (no cat pictures, ever, that’d be insane)
- Pictures playing instruments, preferably on stage
- Seaside pictures
- Also, lots of party pics (swipe left from me here)
- Volunteer work
- Painting
- Kayaking
- Diving
- Being suspended 20 feet up in the air with a motorbike
Is this just a… my region thing?
The cat rule only applies if you are a girl. A guy can post a cat no problem, a woman who does it looks like a crazy cat lady. Can’t show the pussy too soon.
True
/Signed, owner of two cats.
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We need more of your cat pics!! 
I don’t often post on here, however, this thread has been worth the effort and I’m invested!!
I want to know how you are now getting on. I’m currently on Tinder (literally about 4-5 days ago) and being 45yr old, average looking and a dad of 3 I’m still finding it relatively easy to get matches, including some absolute stunners who I’d never have suspected would swipe right. Not loads, but enough. Now you, you’re in the perfect age range, good looking and look to be in good shape, plus appear to have a good sense of humour. They should literally be almost lining up for you!!
Update us all and let us know how successful you’re being this time round.
I think the trick to solving this is quite simple:Don’t accept just being friends with any woman you really want to date etc. Only be friends with women who you like platonically or are maybe attracted to physically, but don’t actually want any kind of relationship with.
It’s good to have female friends, but, I know and have known of stacks of guys who are basically female ‘friend collectors’, who they are perhaps, secretly in love with…not good!!!
Dudes who end up always being friendzoned often don’t make a move fast enough…attractive young women usually have a lot of options when it comes to sex and dating etc…they can afford to be picky.
Make a move or not OR move on!!!
I think you misread my post
This is the exact opposite of my situation. I’ve never been friendzoned.
Not surprised to hear it. Most of my male friends have plenty of luck with online dating regardless of how attractive or in shape they are.
I haven’t made a profile yet because 1. all my bathrooms are under construction for remodeling and 2. Chicago’s having the worst winter I can remember so I haven’t exactly had a chance to go get a fresh haircut and some photos taken. But I will as soon as things warm up and stuff starts to open up again.
I appreciate the kind feedback! I think in a sense you’re right–I do get a reasonable amount of female attention whenever I’m out, even if just from strangers finding an excuse to talk to me. The issue is that so far none have seen me as long-term trustworthy material. I’ve started seeing a therapist though, and I’m having some really big breakthroughs. 
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I thought it would be fun to take a walk down memory lane and check back in here with everyone. Boy, what a year it’s been! In summary, I’ve read about a million books by taking the 1h30 I walk everyday to and from work to listen to audiobooks. They’ve ranged from highly scientific academic texts written by neuroscientists on adapting the emotional styles of the brain to highly spiritual texts about mindfulness and self-compassion to very data driven books dissecting the invisible influences of our modern society in people’s behaviors, and maybe the most interesting–books about body language.
The crucial game changing components for me were discovering self-compassion, the power of being completely vulnerable with everyone, and daily loving kindness meditation. All that attention I was giving to how I came across to people or getting caught in cycles of self-criticism over everything I didn’t like in my life has basically gone to zero…freeing up all that mental space to focus on others. My whole intention in every social interaction these days is very simple–make the other person feel safe and seen. This is something I can 100% control, and at the same time it’s made me need absolutely nothing from anyone, especially not validation.
The outcome has been almost magical. I can’t even remember the last time someone thought I was “intimidating.” I feel like I make at least 2 new friends every weekend out now (and YES some of them are women! yayy!), and dates just sort of fall into my lap. Both friend dates and romantic dates have become far more meaningful, usually lasting several hours and just late night walking and talking and connecting more than I ever used to with people I knew for years! I’ve finally come to embody and fully embrace my authentic self, which I can best describe as goofy dad energy.
After first date, I do still deal with women thinking I’m a “player,” but I’m able to handle it much better now. I’m just very upfront that I’m selective and only pursue things I think can go somewhere. So no more noncommittal women are even drawn into my sphere these days.
Overall, I found that a mind at ease is even better than a happy one.
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Wow! I’m so happy for you!
Can you recommend a couple of titles that in particular helped with self-compassion, or do you feel that it was the multi-directional approach that really did it?
Again, good for you! So, so pleased that you checked back.
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Awesome to hear mate
@EmilyQ For sure, the ones that helped me the most were:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown
If you’re looking to go more science-y I got a lot from:
The Emotional Life of Your Brain by Richard J. Davidson
The Mindful Brain by Daniel Siegel
Then if you wanna go spiritual:
Wherever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life by Deepak Chopra
I’d definitely say multi-directional since I explored many different approaches to the same goal. I found it much easier to stay motivated to continue personal growth by jumping from scientific to self-help to spiritual, so nothing ever got stale. Undulating periodization isn’t just for the weight room, amirite?!
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