T-Nation Goes to Brazil

Off Topic
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SOME TERMS

Pronunciation is similar to Spanish. Get someone (preferably a Brazi) to help you all the same, 'cause there are some tricky terms (ask someone to say “grandmother” and “grandfather”. That shit confused me for a year before I finally got it)

Obrigado- Thank you

Senhor/Senhora- Sir/Ma’am

Mulher- Woman (can also mean “wife”; “essa e a minha mulher, seu filho da puta”- "that’s my WIFE, you son of a bitch)

Homen- Man (the “h” is silent)

Gostosa- Sexy woman (has vaguely sexist overtones so be careful who you use it with)

Bonita- Beautiful

Oi, tudo bem?- “Hi, how are you”

*If someone calls you “gostoso” (male form of “gostosa”; literally means “delicious”), “gostozao”, “gato” (cat, slang for handsome man) that’s a good thing. If someone says, “que se foda” (go fuck yourself), “filho da puta” (son of a bitch) “vai pra merda” (go to hell), that’s a bad thing.

*Young women in Brazil, aside from being attractive, are also very forward. Forward to the point of catcalling in the street and whistling. Yes gentlemen, it may be the only time in your life when attractive women hoot and whistle at YOU like they were construction workers in Brooklyn.

*There are also quite a few butterfaces in Brazil and they’re even easier to get with than the hotties. I refer to one sage’s advice on the matter;

“I never fucked a 10…but last night I fucked five 2’s.”
-George Carlin

*I recall one afternoon when me and some friends were getting ready to go out. It was a relatively small second-floor walkup and we had the window open, when low and behold, a couple of girls started calling out to us…in their bikinis. At one point we had them rubbing suntan oil on one another.

Picture it; lithe, dark-haired bronzed barely-legal goddesses rubbing coconut oil on one another in the summer heat while calling to you, telling you to come on over, their parents aren’t home. I think you can guess how this story ends.

That memory has gotten me through many a dark night, gentlemen. Relax, have a great time and take lots of photos. Let me know if you have any questions.

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[quote]LUEshi wrote:
SOME TERMS

Pronunciation is similar to Spanish. Get someone (preferably a Brazi) to help you all the same, 'cause there are some tricky terms (ask someone to say “grandmother” and “grandfather”. That shit confused me for a year before I finally got it)

Obrigado- Thank you

Senhor/Senhora- Sir/Ma’am

Mulher- Woman (can also mean “wife”; “essa e a minha mulher, seu filho da puta”- "that’s my WIFE, you son of a bitch)

Homen- Man (the “h” is silent)

Gostosa- Sexy woman (has vaguely sexist overtones so be careful who you use it with)

Bonita- Beautiful

Oi, tudo bem?- “Hi, how are you”

*If someone calls you “gostoso” (male form of “gostosa”; literally means “delicious”), “gostozao”, “gato” (cat, slang for handsome man) that’s a good thing. If someone says, “que se foda” (go fuck yourself), “filho da puta” (son of a bitch) “vai pra merda” (go to hell), that’s a bad thing.

*Young women in Brazil, aside from being attractive, are also very forward. Forward to the point of catcalling in the street and whistling. Yes gentlemen, it may be the only time in your life when attractive women hoot and whistle at YOU like they were construction workers in Brooklyn.

*There are also quite a few butterfaces in Brazil and they’re even easier to get with than the hotties. I refer to one sage’s advice on the matter;

“I never fucked a 10…but last night I fucked five 2’s.”
-George Carlin

*I recall one afternoon when me and some friends were getting ready to go out. It was a relatively small second-floor walkup and we had the window open, when low and behold, a couple of girls started calling out to us…in their bikinis. At one point we had them rubbing suntan oil on one another.

Picture it; lithe, dark-haired bronzed barely-legal goddesses rubbing coconut oil on one another in the summer heat while calling to you, telling you to come on over, their parents aren’t home. I think you can guess how this story ends.

That memory has gotten me through many a dark night, gentlemen. Relax, have a great time and take lots of photos. Let me know if you have any questions.[/quote]

Its official. I’m going. When I get squared away, I’m taking you with me LUEshi.

LUEshi is the official “T-Nation goes to Brazil” sourcebook and future tour guide.

To Push: You had your time in the sun. Make way for the youth.

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[quote]pushharder wrote:
WolBarret wrote:
…To Push: You had your time in the sun. Make way for the youth.

I make my way WITH the youth…
[/quote]

Maybe if we were going to Sweden, Holland, Poland, or Germany, I’d be like “Come with us, Push. You’ll be great company”.

But this is Brazil. This is Latin America(I think). If I were Superman, this would be my kryptonite. Except I’d inject this Kryptonite into my veins and gladly overdose.

And if by some miracle you and I were traveling to Brazil, you had better be one HELL of a wingman.

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GUYS!! you don’t have to go to brazil to meet tons of hot brazilian women the flight is much cheaper if you fly to Rhode Island. plus i can speak portuguese.

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Rhode Island doesn’t have the Brazilian exchange rate.

Electronics are expensive, but food, drinks, clothing? Ridiculously cheap. I had a gym membership that cost me around 40 reais a month. At the time that was about $15.

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[quote]LUEshi wrote:
Rhode Island doesn’t have the Brazilian exchange rate.

Electronics are expensive, but food, drinks, clothing? Ridiculously cheap. I had a gym membership that cost me around 40 reais a month. At the time that was about $15.[/quote]

guess i’ll go out to eat at the local brazilian restaurant and drive 10 min. to the “gentlemens club” this fri. night with a few less people and admire all the brazilian strippers.

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Its not as simply as going to Rhode Island or Boston. Its deeper than just a group of guys nailing as many Brazilian chicks as possible and drinking as much booze as possible. (Partially).

This trip about uniting like-minded individuals and bonding as men. T-men. AND nailing as many Brazilian chicks as possible. We’re not just Americans. We’re T-Nationers.

Salutes

God Bless T-Nation.

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Um yeah, I’m in like Flynn.

I’ve wanted to go to Brazil for a LONG time.

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Already been planning to spend new years on the beach in copacabana then the rest of my time in florianopolis catchin waves and tagging women

i’ll need a lot of condoms.

only reason i dont want to go is i swear i’ll come back with a wife…

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[quote]WolBarret wrote:
kevinm1 wrote:
WolBarret wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
kevinm1 wrote:
If I wasn’t so fucking hairy and if I was a little more bouyant I’d go to the beach more often

dude dont sweat it, brazilian girls are used to hairy guys.

YES!!! No waxing for me.

They also like bigger guys, the fat/built look

YES!!!

I’m moving to Brazil.[/quote]

nah dude they like little scrawny dudes. ive never seen a jacked brazilian on the street or at the gym, its always a group of 5 little pansies every single one wearing Hollister (i swear to god they ALL wear Hollister) on the bench with like a 45 or 35 on each side half-pressing.

also dudes, watch where you go. i know people in Brazil and that place is fucked up. you cant go out after dark, you cant talk on a cell phone on the bus. i was talkin on the phone to a girl over there and in the middle of our conversation i hear BAP BAP BAP, im like someone just got shot huh? shes like, yep. it depends where you go though, but i just know the three worst places are Rio De Janiero, Recife (where the people i know live), and some other place…i think it begins with an O?

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I saw a few big guys at the gyms I went to (a couple really big guys) but you’re more or less right.

Depends on where you are. We’d go out until the wee hours in Salvador and the worst thing that happened while I was there was some little shit stole my watch. Yes, Recife is dangerous, but it’s fucking ghetto anyway, so why would you go there?

Rio is awesome, you just have to stay away from the favelas. Remember there are plenty of places to go ASIDE from Rio, Sao Paulo and such. You’ll get laid just as much in the “interior” as anyplace else, with the added benefit of things being much more chill. Rio Grande do Sul is safe as houses and has lots of fine blonde chicks (yes, they have blondes in Brazil. Descended from German settlers). Florianopolis, same thing. Campinas isn’t that bad. Minas Gerais, Riberao Preto, etc etc.

The only places I would absolutely stay away from are:

*Recife
*Belem
*Rocinha (ginormous favela in Rio)

135

[quote]Rat Poison wrote:
LUEshi wrote:
Rhode Island doesn’t have the Brazilian exchange rate.

Electronics are expensive, but food, drinks, clothing? Ridiculously cheap. I had a gym membership that cost me around 40 reais a month. At the time that was about $15.

guess i’ll go out to eat at the local brazilian restaurant and drive 10 min. to the “gentlemens club” this fri. night with a few less people and admire all the brazilian strippers. [/quote]
Which club? I"m going Saturday afternoon, I figure I’ll either start at the Cadilac Lounge make my way to Fantasies and finish up at Cheaters. You in?

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[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
WolBarret wrote:
kevinm1 wrote:
WolBarret wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
kevinm1 wrote:
If I wasn’t so fucking hairy and if I was a little more bouyant I’d go to the beach more often

dude dont sweat it, brazilian girls are used to hairy guys.

YES!!! No waxing for me.

They also like bigger guys, the fat/built look

YES!!!

I’m moving to Brazil.

nah dude they like little scrawny dudes. ive never seen a jacked brazilian on the street or at the gym, its always a group of 5 little pansies every single one wearing Hollister (i swear to god they ALL wear Hollister) on the bench with like a 45 or 35 on each side half-pressing.

also dudes, watch where you go. i know people in Brazil and that place is fucked up. you cant go out after dark, you cant talk on a cell phone on the bus. i was talkin on the phone to a girl over there and in the middle of our conversation i hear BAP BAP BAP, im like someone just got shot huh? shes like, yep. it depends where you go though, but i just know the three worst places are Rio De Janiero, Recife (where the people i know live), and some other place…i think it begins with an O? [/quote]

Ah my young friend I have had the pleasure of being approached by many a young brazilian lady in Boston, in fact I just had the girl at D and D on Boylston st flirt with me. Sadly I could not take my time with her as I am at work getting things set up.

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[quote]WolBarret wrote:
pushharder wrote:
WolBarret wrote:
If I were Superman, this would be my kryptonite. Except I’d inject this Kryptonite into my veins and gladly overdose…[/quote]

Stop stealing my lines on;y one superman here and that be me

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I’m in for banging some brazilian chicks somewhere in New England. Unless someone (some many) wants to pay my airfare in 2 years, I’m not going to the real Brazil. Also…if we’re gonna bang some Brasilia babes somewhere in New England, someone is most likely going to have to pick me up on their way there.

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Hey guys, i only saw this thread now… very funny to read about how do you think Brasil is…

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[quote]Sagat wrote:
Hey guys, i only saw this thread now… very funny to read about how do you think Brasil is… [/quote]

it’s not Brazil I like it’s the women that are there