Maybe he’s just bi and will take whatever comes his way.
[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
[quote]AttackOfTheChris wrote:
That’s bullshit, his clothes are red because they have been stained by the blood of his enemies. And no gay man would chase a woman down for tips on that shit, it’s like instinct to them. And if not they can just watch any of the many queerish shows on tv. [/quote]
How do you explain Luigi’s green shirt then? Bile from the livers of his vanquished enemies? Possible, just like the Mario blood theory, but a completely more likely theory is that they are fans of the buttsecks.
Even if Mario were a heterosexual, it’s pathetic jumping through hoops and chasing around a girl like that. After you finish the game the part you DON’T see is the Princess telling Mario that he’s “a great guy, like a brother” as she takes off with some punk on a motorbike. If Mario needed to bust a nut so bad he should have just taken one of those “Little Goombas” (mushrooms) and had his way with it behind a pipe or a cloud or something.
[/quote]
Luigi…well Luigi actually is gay. That’s why no one ever wants to play as him. When is the last time anyone played a Mario game and was like, “OOH! Let me be Luigi!” Never. Sure he seems to have the same retard strength and appetite for narcotics that Mario does but something about him screams, “Brokeback Mushroom”
Nonsense, you simply don’t understand the motivation of great men. Sure, he could probably nail any girl he wanted, but how else was he supposed to gain any kind of influence in the Mushroom Kingdom being simply the resident plumber? His plan? Stop the hostile take over, bang Princess Peach, and possibly become king, and if not, the heir to the thrown would at least be of his own seed. I’m pretty sure if he got turned down at the end, after such an epic and challenging ordeal, he’d just pop some shrooms and straight up rape the stuck up bitch, and he’d be all, “IT’S A MEEE! Nnnng…MARIO!”
And lets say by chance your theory is correct. Mario likes buttsecks. So did Alexander the Great. It would not take away from his accomplishments.
Something about Mario screams smegma…
[quote]AttackOfTheChris wrote:
After much thought, I have decided that Super Mario is the most hardcore video game character to have ever existed. Reasons:
- Physical Attributes: Despite being a chubby little plumber, the motherfucker can sprint and leap through entire worlds without any hint of fatigue. He can do like a 6 foot vertical jump and smash blocks with his fucking SKULL, and on top of that he destroys enemies by jumping into the air and brutally stomping on their heads while actually managing to squish them. Holy. Shit.[/quote]
Sonic is way faster and can jump way higher than that fat fuck piece of shit mario.
Also mario can only break one block at a time. Sonic can smash through fucking boulderS.
He can also break the sound barrier, without breaking a sweat. He can turn into a fucking razor blade ball and will just about rape your face.
Link is also pretty cool.
Mario is a piece of shit.
Uh, mario is a fucking pussy. He goes around the dinosaur (he isn’t even really that big) and always hits him from behind like a fucking wimp.
Sonic the hedghog fights giant robots, giant monsters and even took down a deathstar, singlehandedly.
Not only that but he doesn’t need drugs. He’s 100 % natural and can still do crazy shit. Crazier shit than fatfuck mario.
[quote]AttackOfTheChris wrote:2.3. Motivation: Get laid. Yes, I know, it’s never stated explicitly in the games, but we can all read between the lines. Mario goes into beast mode just to get some poon. Time and time again, we have seen Mario conquer a land only to find out that the, “princess is in another castle.” Fuck that! Mario rages on with the kind of fury that only comes from being cock-blocked one too many times, and to Mario, just once is too many. They say winners go home and fuck the prom queen. Mario goes home and fucks the princess.
Any differing opinions? [/quote]
Queen> Princess.
Fyi, Sonic has his own princess to fuck and she’s not a dumb cunt that needs rescuing. He also fucks a half bot rabbit.
And sonic saves all the little furry animals because he can.
He’s not a selfish piece of shit like Mario.
Fucking awesome piece about Mario, and I agree with all of it. Mario is on his fuckin game.
Good points about Sonic, he is a freak of nature. Thing is Mario perseveres even though he isn’t nearly as physically gifted as Sonic and many others. Mario makes sure he gets it done, out of shape or not.
And theres no fuckin way Sonic is natural. He may not use hard drugs like boomers or pcp, but he sure as shit is on something. High doses of Anavar I would assume.
[quote]Jason Lee wrote:
Seems pretty gay to me.[/quote]
What kind of pants are those that he’s wearing? Oh, duh–
Denim denim denim…denim denim denim…
I heard this boss makes some pretty bad ass lasagna as well, a true double threat!
[quote]kheaslim wrote:
Fucking awesome piece about Mario, and I agree with all of it. Mario is on his fuckin game.
Good points about Sonic, he is a freak of nature. Thing is Mario perseveres even though he isn’t nearly as physically gifted as Sonic and many others. Mario makes sure he gets it done, out of shape or not.
And theres no fuckin way Sonic is natural. He may not use hard drugs like boomers or pcp, but he sure as shit is on something. High doses of Anavar I would assume.[/quote]
These are all excellent points sir, and I agree that Sonic is a total badass, it just seems to me that Mario wants it more. If Mario’s blood were made of acid he would probably slit an artery just to spray it in the face of his enemies.
Westcoast brings up the point of Mario making bombass lasagna which is way less gay than eating…whatever the fuck sonic eats. Probably bugs or grass or some shit. What do Hedgehogs eat?
Mario is the James Bond of plumbers.
Luigi is in fact a homosexual, which is why kheaslim always got to be Mario and i had to be the homo all the time.
What man can hold his breath underwater longer than mario?