Stupidest Personal Trainer Quotes

Training Bodybuilding
201

[quote]facko wrote:
Me and my friend were just at the gym today. I was doin my back and biceps and my friend was doing legs. He just finished doing squats and went on to do some leg presses. As he’s doing them some old fuckin anerexic bitch “trainer” rushes over to him in the middle of his set and tells him to stop. I walk over cuz i notice she stopped him and hear them talking…it went something like this.

Old Bitch: You shouldnt be doing them like that…you are going to hurt your knees.

Friend: How am i hurting my knees doing them?

Old Bitch: Points to his inner knee muscle and says they are very weak…and says this is way to heavy for you.

Me: How is that too heavy for him…he can do them with 6 plates on each side and hes only doing 2 right now to warm up.

Old Bitch: (looks pissed off) Thats not my point, hes doing them wrong. His knees are going inward. You dont need to use alot of weight to strengthen your inner knees…instead lower the weight and put a ball in between your knees as you do them.

Me and my friend smirked at eachother and I just walked away…my friend continuued to add weight right in front of her and proceed with his workout.[/quote]

WTF? “Inner knee” isolation exercises?

202

A new trainer just started at my gym. Everyone there calls him ‘Pumpshow’ because the dude likes to strip down at the drop of a hat to his posing trunks (which he wears every day under his clothes), and put on unrequested pumpshows. He’s huge and ripped, and an experienced competitor, but he’s a total freak.

Pumpshow is in his 30s but looks over 40 from all the tanning. He is constantly pulling up his shirt to admire his own abs, and tell people how great they are. He randomly makes people touch his muscles and admire them (especially his hams, he’s really proud of those). Conversation with Pumpshow consists of him telling you what he’s eaten that day, and what he plans on eating later that day.

Pumpshow has a very aggressive sales style that involves staring at people as they work out, then barking in his GHed voice at them that he’ll have them getting ripped in a matter of weeks (never mind that they’re totally out of shape at present).

He routinely ignores his clients to fit in sets for himself, talk on his cell phone, or ‘help’ other people, especially girls, with their form. He’s been known to plop clients on the elliptical for 20 minutes of their hour.

The other day, I was squatting and he came up behind me and started spotting me. Then, without any warning, he physically assisted me (unnecessarily). THEN, he started barking out orders to do more reps, to which I replied ‘NO’ and stopped, since I was finished my set, and wasn’t about to be intimidated into abandoning my program strategy by this jerk.

After my set, he told me I really didn’t need to be lifting that heavy, and was risking a big injury (my squat form is fine). I told him I’d been squatting heavy for awhile, and hadn’t had any problems so far.

When I saw him later, I was sure to mention that for my next set, I’d upped the weight to 160.

203

[quote]Jinx Me wrote:
A new trainer just started at my gym. Everyone there calls him ‘Pumpshow’ because the dude likes to strip down at the drop of a hat to his posing trunks (which he wears every day under his clothes), and put on unrequested pumpshows. He’s huge and ripped, and an experienced competitor, but he’s a total freak.

Pumpshow is in his 30s but looks over 40 from all the tanning. He is constantly pulling up his shirt to admire his own abs, and tell people how great they are. He randomly makes people touch his muscles and admire them (especially his hams, he’s really proud of those). Conversation with Pumpshow consists of him telling you what he’s eaten that day, and what he plans on eating later that day.

Pumpshow has a very aggressive sales style that involves staring at people as they work out, then barking in his GHed voice at them that he’ll have them getting ripped in a matter of weeks (never mind that they’re totally out of shape at present).

He routinely ignores his clients to fit in sets for himself, talk on his cell phone, or ‘help’ other people, especially girls, with their form. He’s been known to plop clients on the elliptical for 20 minutes of their hour.

The other day, I was squatting and he came up behind me and started spotting me. Then, without any warning, he physically assisted me (unnecessarily). THEN, he started barking out orders to do more reps, to which I replied ‘NO’ and stopped, since I was finished my set, and wasn’t about to be intimidated into abandoning my program strategy by this jerk.

After my set, he told me I really didn’t need to be lifting that heavy, and was risking a big injury (my squat form is fine). I told him I’d been squatting heavy for awhile, and hadn’t had any problems so far.

When I saw him later, I was sure to mention that for my next set, I’d upped the weight to 160. [/quote]

at the top of your squat, you should have shrugged the bar off and drilled him with it

204

[quote]Jinx Me wrote:

Pumpshow has a very aggressive sales style that involves staring at people as they work out, then barking in his GHed voice at them that he’ll have them getting ripped in a matter of weeks (never mind that they’re totally out of shape at present).

He routinely ignores his clients to fit in sets for himself, talk on his cell phone, or ‘help’ other people, especially girls, with their form. He’s been known to plop clients on the elliptical for 20 minutes of their hour.
[/quote]

This guy approached me the other day and said “when are you gonna get a trainer and start getting some real results?”

Earlier that day, I saw him make 3 or 4 trips to the bathroom upstairs while I was doing my squat sets. To the left of the washroom and squat racks is a large glass window looking into the girls-only area. Some girl was in there doing seated shoulder press, facing the glass, wearing a sports bra, and pumpshow just stopped and stared… and stared… and stared… until she finished her set.

Then he mouths at her that shes really hot, makes some “oooh yeah” face and gives her about 5 thumbs up. I move on to the pull-up bar and see him going back to his current client, a much less attractive female, obviously a beginner, that he had on an ab maching for apparently quite a while.

Top quality, right there.

205

It’s really great when trainers step outside into the nutrition field. Heard a trainer tell this to a kid the other day:

“6 capsules of fish oil a day? Your body doesn’t need that much fat.”

“Why would you eat spinach,its empty, that stuff’s only good for people that are aenemic.”

The kid had been following Berardi’s 7 habits. Someone better let Dr. John know that fish oil and spinach are useless. He’ll be so embarassed.

This same trainer’s advice to me

“You don’t need to lift heavy to get big”

Maybe I don’t, but its a heck of a lot more fun.

Now I’d like to be evenhanded here, this guy is in great shape. But there’s a big difference between being a good bodybuilder and being a good trainer.

206

[quote]facko wrote:
Me and my friend were just at the gym today. I was doin my back and biceps and my friend was doing legs. He just finished doing squats and went on to do some leg presses. As he’s doing them some old fuckin anerexic bitch “trainer” rushes over to him in the middle of his set and tells him to stop. I walk over cuz i notice she stopped him and hear them talking…it went something like this.

Old Bitch: You shouldnt be doing them like that…you are going to hurt your knees.

Friend: How am i hurting my knees doing them?

Old Bitch: Points to his inner knee muscle and says they are very weak…and says this is way to heavy for you.

Me: How is that too heavy for him…he can do them with 6 plates on each side and hes only doing 2 right now to warm up.

Old Bitch: (looks pissed off) Thats not my point, hes doing them wrong. His knees are going inward. You dont need to use alot of weight to strengthen your inner knees…instead lower the weight and put a ball in between your knees as you do them.

Me and my friend smirked at eachother and I just walked away…my friend continuued to add weight right in front of her and proceed with his workout.[/quote]

If his knees were buckling inwards, then she may have been right. No point in doing leg presses, anyways.

207

[quote]Nominal Prospect wrote:

If his knees were buckling inwards, then she may have been right…[/quote]

Good point. Knees caving in wouldn’t be a good thing, especially with the light weight, only to go heavier. Unless, we’re misunderstanding what happened.

208

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
Nominal Prospect wrote:

If his knees were buckling inwards, then she may have been right…

Good point. Knees caving in wouldn’t be a good thing, especially with the light weight, only to go heavier. Unless, we’re misunderstanding what happened.[/quote]

Yep. You and your friend sounds like idiots. The trainer was right, if his knees are going in then he’s not doing it properly and it sounds like you are both doing far too much weight.

Dickheads like you are a dime a dozen in the gym. This is a thread about stupid trainers, but I’ve see moronic things done everyday by stupid clients.

I don’t even give advice anymore because you get the smirk, and then the dipshit ALWAYS adds more weight and does more 1/4 reps. What, do you think my back gives a shit you have crappy form? It was your back I’m worried about.

Most trainers only goal is to stop people from hurting themselves.

But now, i don’t give advice to any guy under 30 as they, no matter what level of development they are at, always seem to think they know better.

209

[quote]Sxio wrote:
This is a thread about stupid trainers, but I’ve see moronic things done everyday by stupid clients.
[/quote]

Yeah man, this thread (and the squat rack curls) make me laugh, but at the same time, I’m pretty sure that most of the people posting in them aren’t exactly DeFranco or CT themselves. I know how stupid I was 2 months ago and I’m looking forward to being able to laugh at myself 2 months from now.

The day that you think you know it all will be the day you stop making progress!

210

[quote]Nominal Prospect wrote:
NNNNate wrote:
Me: Watch out, that kid’s really rounding his back.
(He was doing a trap-bar deadlift)
Idiot Trainer: So what do you want me to do about it?
Me: Tell him to stop rounding his back.
Idiot Trainer (while walking away): That’s what the belt’s for.

Man, that’s bad. Who rounds their back on a trap-bar DL? That’s hard to do.[/quote]

The Diesel Weasel

211

wow…lol first of all his knees werent bending in…second he goes all the way down and does full yeps…third shut the fuck up bitch. That lady was stupid as shit…shes told me numerous times that when i bench i should bring the bar over my eyes down to my face then up…instead of down to my chest. And btw…leg presses are pretty useful and cant really hurt if they arent as long as you are doing squats and deadlifts too.

212

[quote]Minotaur wrote:
“Kegels are one of the best ab exercises you can do. I have all my female clients do them…”

I later went on to find out that he was sleeping with a half-dozen of his female clients. No wonder he recommended them. ;)[/quote]

This is prima facie evidence that he’s not as dumb as one might otherwise think. Gotta admire a guy who keeps his eyes on the prize.

213

Not a personal trainer story but just as good…a division 2 basketball coach telling his team that doing a circuit on machines is the way to build REAL strength

214

We are going to work on (Say the word hyper…then say the word trophy.) Repeat

215

After warming up with 225 doing deadlifts, a guy comes up to me and says, why arent you using a belt arent you afraid your going to hurt your back?

216

Heres a great one: Iv’e seen a trainer doing an inverted row with an overweight client who’s body was at about 45 degrees. It was too hard so he says lets make it easier, and put the bar 2 feet off the floor, she says “and this will make it easier?” She couldnt even move doing them.

217

[quote]cap’nsalty wrote:
wufwugy wrote:
pookie wrote:
Wreckless wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
I had a guy tell me a deadlift was like a squat with the weight in front of you.

And he was wrong?

Isn’t a squat with the weight in front a front squat?

yeah, and a squat with the weight in zercher of you is a zercher squat.

I have no idea why I found that so funny.
[/quote]

same here, funnyest thing i heard in a long time

218

I think I got a few good ones.

  1. Hot chick to trainer. “Do you have to be all on top of me when you stretch my hamstrings? I do not see the other trainers do that to their clients.” Trainer responds “thats why their clients are injured more easily b/c they dont get stretched deeply and intensily enough”

  2. Trainer to 40 some year old lady that has never set foot in a gym. “ok get on the treadmill, run for 1 minute at 7.5 and then walk for 30 seconds at 4.0, guaranteed you will lose 40 pounds in no time” - After the first day during which she almost fell of the treadmill and broke her neck, she cancelled her membership.

  3. Same trainer to one of my clients. “How long have you been training with him” My client tells him 1 year and 2 months to which he says “and you still look like that?” I was pissed. I train this client three times as week and he has gone down from 229 to 192, decreased his body fat percentage signifcantly, and has added some nice muscle definition. Needless to say I took this one very personal and laid the guy out right in front of the manager of the gym. After I explained to him what happened they let me back in the gym after a week.

AA

219

i think i have a couple

i remmeber a personal trainer telling someone you wont get bigger if you rest more than a minute between sets

a personal trainer told me i cant work the same muscle 2 days in a row

and that i cant work the same muscle more than 1 time in a day

220

I second that. I have nearly passed out a few times after going ape shit on leg presses. Bang out 4-5 super heavy sets and then do 5 sets of 20 with about 5-6 plates on each side alternating sets between you and your work our partner.
Then try to tell me again that leg presses are useless when you cant sleep at night b/c your legs are destroyed.

And who the f*ck was she to come over like that and interrupt him in the middle of a set. I wish I had been training there with my girl b/c she would have slapped the shit out of her.

A

[quote]facko wrote:
wow…lol first of all his knees werent bending in…second he goes all the way down and does full yeps…third shut the fuck up bitch. That lady was stupid as shit…shes told me numerous times that when i bench i should bring the bar over my eyes down to my face then up…instead of down to my chest. And btw…leg presses are pretty useful and cant really hurt if they arent as long as you are doing squats and deadlifts too. [/quote]