[quote]atypical1 wrote:
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
Really well thought out post [/quote]
This was really thoughtful and I can see what you mean about letting it consume you.
Interesting about how having above average strength or a good body hasn’t helped you as much as you thought it would.
james
[/quote]
I should’ve explained further regarding that statement, which involves spilling more beans about self-admitted former flaws of mine. Many men (and women) and this is obvious from personal interaction with them or reading forum posts on OTHER forums, did not turn to the gym for a good reason, so to speak. That is, they had an “issue” of some sorts or weren’t smooth in other areas of life that most people take up naturally. The majority of people, and this includes the fitness buff’s and bodybuilder’s immortal foe, humans they refer to as “normal people”, evolve socially, professionally, and romantically perhaps with some effort, but not much overthinking. They simply socialize, date, and work hard at their given trade. GENERALLY speaking, people with low self esteem (what I lacked in my younger years) do not progress as smoothly in these areas. So what do some do: turn to something else that they can CONTROL. If you give this thing a fair shake-eat right and lift- you will make at least SOME progress, regardless of genetic ability. That is SO different than dealing with the rigors of work or school or attracting women and developing connections and building a robust social life.
Why do you think that on other boards there is so much dysfunctionality and are so misogynistic and misanthropic views expressed? My opinion? Maladjustment! I even had two people on separate boards tell me directly that they and other guys turned to the gym because of their poor relationships with their parents and how they view women as beneath them and pretty much expressed that they think nearly all women are whores.
Why do you think there are so many crass “self help” style mantras in the fitness world? Why post hundreds and hundreds of photos of oneself somewhere (a few dozen is understandable to me)? Why the need to constantly solicit compliments from others (yes, everyone wants to feel appreciated-I get that)? Why say stuff like “when I lost it all, the gym was still there for me”?
Fitness is great and being healthy is great! But is that sort of stuff healthy? Does it indicate good adjustment or good coping skills?
Now, don’t get me wrong, there ARE people, MANY people, who are well adjusted in all areas of life who turn to the gym and stay involved simply because they freaking love it, like ME… AT THIS TIME… at a better place in MY life. Like I said, to those who turned to it for the right reasons, great! But just think there might be a time and place where one can’t Crossfit, powerlift, bodybuild, or train for a marathon! Now what do you do if something that one was so dependent upon is now removed - temporarily or permanently?
Now back to why above average strength and a good body didn’t get me nearly what I thought it would. Well, being that I was so mentally and emotionally attached to this, and thought that I held it in such importance, I for some reason thought that I’d get rewarded in some way, perhaps with respect or admiration or in attracting women. Well, it didn’t get me any of that. Sure some women I attracted liked my body, but I highly doubt it would’ve made a difference if I was weaker or chubbier or smaller. In many cases my obsession socially disconnected me. You know, because normal people do not give a rat’s ass about sets and reps and macros and the core lifts and isolation exercises and cardio and grams of this and that and do not undersand why a guy has to designate specific days for cheat meals, or can’t have a brew at a BBQ or go on a camping trip and just eat what’s available and forgo the gym for a few days. Granted, I DID IT WRONG, but this is an example about how ANY endeavor taken to an extreme has consequences. For me, the consequences were social disconnection and, dare I say, sadness. If I were to go through with competing, I would’ve have lost my soon-to-be-fiance… for damn sure. Now I think you can see why I said what I said.
Even a 25-year veteran of the NPC who I know well once said at a party I was at, “if I compete again, I will be through a second divorce.” So I say if one wants to be at the highest level or be as involved as they can be, they should have a very. VERY supportive partner, or a partner who’s involved just as much as they are.
And I must state this again, ad nauseum: this is MY personal story regarding the topic at hand: SELF IMAGE, which is being spoken about in its association with physical appearance and all that goes into developing such an appearance. And AGAIN (echolalia here, I guess), I STILL take this seriously for fun, health, and appearance, still love following the cult sports and going to shows, still work in nutrition, and all that, but I will not be hedging all of life’s bets for it.
If anyone has a problem with what I wrote, I politely ask you to see it in MY PERSONAL context and take it for what it’s intended to be worth: MY story, not YOURS, and I will never tell anyone how to achieve happiness or what is ultimately good for their desired way of life, fitness or otherwise. We’re grown men here and we should be able to empathize with one another and understand one another’s story so long as we are nice to one another.
