Plenty, and that’s why it’s so hard to call it “conservative.”
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The irony is, conservatives push back against maternity leave. They want women to get back to work.
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More government for you, less government for me.
The next 4 years are going to be fun.
I read that. It’s spot on. Thanks.
I have a dim view of Michael Knowles, a typical tradcon who urges young men to get married under the present system, speaks as if women have no agency, and that we gotta man up.
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Here’s a thinker befor dismissing the idea out of hand:
Woman 1- Has boyfriend/husband that sits around all day smoking weed and playing video games. She comes home from work, and there he is. They talk about their day, yadda yadda yadda, go to bed and have happy fun time before doing it all again tomorrow.
Woman 2- has boyfriend/husband that only comes around when he needs money or gets horny. Sticks around for a while and verbally abuses her when he’s drunk, and threatens her into sex before passing out. Eventually he splits or goes to jail for some other shit.
In which one of these very realistic scenarios is the woman with a man that is better than nothing?
In which scenario is the woman witha man that is worse than nothing?
I know its a pretty close match, but I think it illustrates the “better than nothing” scenario pretty well.
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How is that ironic?
Conservatives don’t want mothers working outside of the household.
Hypocritical then.
And again, I point out that only two demographics of women are incentivized to leave marriages: non- or low-wage earning women married to higher-wage-earning men and impoverished women. If the men get the kids in the impoverished category, they will gain the same incentives (increased food stamps, childcare subsidies, “reach up,” which offers welfare during job training/school, and so on).
So the ball is in your court as much as it is hers. You CAN say that “I don’t feel comfortable with this level of risk. Could you be attending college while you’re home with young children to ready yourself for the job market, should we ever need that?” Or “let’s keep your foot in the door, earning-wise, so when you’re ready to return full time it will be at higher income.”
I think because men can become very comfortable very quickly with women’s drive to maintain the household, and fall easily into being mom’d - which then triggers teenager-like resentment when she nags or fusses. I always tell young moms that “the mom strike” (because we all go there eventually) will fail spectacularly. The mom strike is when she throws up her hands in impotent frustration/rage and declares “let’s see how they like it if I don’t do it, either!” And so things pile up and men know there’s a problem, but react to that problem by either simply ignoring the growing mess or becoming defensive/shitty. It won’t take long for her to pick things back up, because SHE can’t tolerate the piled dishes and sticky floors. And let’s face it, while she knows that it’s an utter lack of respect for her and her time/effort, what’s she going to do? Leave? Blow up a marriage over housework? (But no, it’s the disrespect that has her stomach knotted, not the housework.) Meanwhile the family, including the husband, blithely continue leaving their snack dishes in the living room. They meant to pick it up, they just forgot! Jesus, stop being such a bitch!
However, that said, I do recall that your ex has OCD and things were pretty over the top. I’m speaking more generally about what women are thinking/feeling.
Absolutely. This is much easier in an equitable marriage than one with a large power imbalance. It doesn’t sound like you try to take your wife’s power from her. People, even women! Need agency.
Right. Not a zero-sum game. You’ll take a bullet for me? Have a stroke and become completely dependent and you’ll find out that there are all sorts of bullets to take.
You get a little bit of a pass because you cook so pretty.
No. His time to protect his assets is before she decides that the marriage is unbearable. Like, love, honor, cherish? These words have meaning, and I think very few women want to leave an arrangement where they feel safe and loved and where their children are thriving. So it’s facile to suggest that she just got a crazy bug up her ass and decided the grass was greener somewhere else. Also, am I misremembering that men cheat more often than women still? And SAHM’s often have to tolerate it, at least until they can get their shit together or decide that his combined impulse control issues (cheaters often have other disappointing qualities) are enough to risk the kids’ wellbeing.
It was meant that way!
The divorce industry is changing. Some of your concerns are already addressed. Reasonable dual income couples typically come with an agreement already in hand - they know what’s fair. If we have one or the other trying to badly screw the partner, then we’re looking at a character issue, which is of course problematic for all concerned, in every possible way. The divorce settlement is the least of that family’s problem, no?
Statistically speaking, significantly more women wind up in poverty than men post-divorce. This seems never to be a focus of these threads, in talking about the burden put on the state.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this seems not to be true, given the number of women who are choosing to become or remain single. So I refer you back to the video I posted, where he notes that men seem to want the relationships but that women are not seeming to find the same satisfaction in them.
As I said, you have a woman and I know you’re working to create a good relationship, so if you took what I said as an insult to you it wasn’t. Simply that men’s goals for their behavior in a relationship may not be women’s goals for themselves and “better than nothing” is IMO something to consider if you want to understand the current situation. Read the comments on that vid. People talking about their mothers’ and grandmothers’ revival after the death of their husbands, after having been trapped in shitty marriages for however many decades.
Whew. Long post. Today is my first day of vacation. 
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We are going to have to agree to disagree on this one. A marriage is an agreement, and theoretically a permanent one, to remain committed and supportive of one another for life.
If a woman is at fault for something egregious or decides to walk away, and it does happen as people grow apart without a monumental reason, she is leaving the agreement. I can see an argument that I disagree with around splitting resources built up while together, but she’s still the one walking away and I’d fight it. And especially ongoing financial support. Unless she wants to keep showing up for maid/chef services and blowjobs. It’s a two way street. She doesn’t get to just run off with a bag of money and resources and leave a SAHM void.
And if she’s a career woman, good for her. She’ll be fine.
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Womenz emotions are so unstable, inconsistent, fleeting and too often shaped by social media trends that its obviously reflected in their leaving marriages faaaaar more often than men.
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I’m sick as a dog, on a second day home from work (I think I have the flu). The notion that the majority of feminists look and act so deranged that no man wants them, as discussed above came to my mind as I lie here in bed, a notion that is flawed.
The most influential feminists are ordinary or attractive. Most of them have men in their lives, even husbands. Here are pictures of them and a picture of a feminist march. Zoom in and you’ll notice those in the march look ordinary; they do not have dyed hair and piercings.
And yes, women with tattoos and septum piercings have sex. Two pretty, sweet women at my job have both. I’m sure they don’t have issues getting male attention.
@EmilyQ thanks for the response. I will check the video out.
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Men will f#ck almost anything… including objectively repulsive misandrist whack jobs that look like Garbage Pail Kids that didn’t make it off the cutting room floor
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She was not a wife under these terms but a prostitute and maid, and this is not a marriage, which is a vehicle for building wealth and family. If a business partnership fails, assets are divided along pre-determined lines.
So maybe you should advise young men to make clear the monetary value of a prospective wife’s portion of the marital partnership, should they agree on SAH, e.g. ownership of only 10% of assets.
Because if he’s an unrepentant pig who provides bad sex, limited companionship, and generally ill temper, she may decide nothing is better than him. And I’d be supportive after earnest efforts to improve things fail.
My overarching point is that if they had a mutually agreed upon SAHM agreement and she leaves, she is leaving with the value she added while expecting to continue receiving financial value from the husband. This an obvious and objective imbalance. If you’re out, you’re out. Move along. Fully.
And, for the record, I read an analysis once that a bunch of stay at home moms put together calculating financial value of their role. It was somewhere in the neighborhood of $200k per year. So even in financial discussions, that should absolutely be introduced as value to discuss. In most households they’ll actually owe the husband money.
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With each other?
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I would suggest advising both young men and young women to feel each other out first before making the jump. Once you’ve made the commitment, you’re in it.
As an aside, on the other side of your coin, what if she gets fat, develops a bad attitude or totally changes during menopause? Maybe her libido drops and speaking of bad sex her pussy loosens up with age and babies?
Same open door to walk away from the relationship and keep commanding useful participation from the wife for the husband?
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Once the Wizard Sleeve sets in men should be able to walk away Scott free
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You understand that this happens, right? And that some percentage of the women also have to pay regardless? From Pew Research:
In 29% of marriages today, both spouses earn about the same amount of money. Just over half (55%) of marriages today have a husband who is the primary or sole breadwinner and 16% have a breadwinner wife.
Even as financial contributions have become more equal in marriages, the way couples divide their time between paid work and home life remains unbalanced. Women pick up a heavier load when it comes to household chores and caregiving responsibilities, while men spend more time on work and leisure.
This is true in egalitarian marriages – where both spouses earn roughly the same amount of money – and in marriages where the wife is the primary earner. The only marriage type where husbands devote more time to caregiving than their wives is one in which the wife is the sole breadwinner. In those marriages, wives and husbands spend roughly the same amount of time per week on household chores.
I was just going to paste the first bit about household earnings, but the whole thing was so interesting to me I decided to share the whole thing. Be better than nothing, lol.
P.S. the “be better than nothing” was NOT directed at you! I was speaking in generalizations. 45% of wives equal or outearn their husbands. We are not having a balanced discussion of the issues at play here.
Obviously women should also strive to be better than nothing.
So it seems like we agree that it’s bullshit to keep commanding participation after walking away.
I don’t buy your copy pasted information at face value. It sounds like something a woman would write, or heavily influence through a Dudes For Kamala author or something.
In my observation, women love to play up their contributions while downplaying the husbands, often as a leveraging tool. Usually a direct form of gaslighting.
They will also take it upon themselves to do things that simply don’t need to be done. “Today I dusted the attic, and you were just relaxing after work the whole time”.
Well why the fuck did you do that?
At least do something useful, like mow the lawn or fix broken things.
Many ways to calculate contributed value.
In any case, if a woman is at fault or walks away because she “outgrew the marriage” or whatever, then she can walk away from all of it.
The guy too if you need to hear that for even Steven sentiment, but it’s significantly less common per your own data.
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