Before writing anything here, I want to apologize to @njord for not replying to my last post in off topics about two months ago. I think it was the thread about body counts; there have been quite a few threads about sex and I forgot which one it was. My life typically gets very busy when warmer weather comes around, and for some reason, I get horrible insomnia when the weather changes. I’m talking getting up two hours earlier than intended and then going to the gym at 5:00 AM. My spare motivation for posting died off at the time as shown in my decrease in posting. So, I am sorry.
I’ve been following the thread, as I usually do for threads about sexual dynamics. And what came to my mind is a big problem in the current day that has led to an increase in single motherhood: removal of male authority. That is, men no longer have authority over their daughters and homes. So that means that dealing with deceptive men cannot be done, but interestingly men are expected to clean up messes after they happened. Rather than male family members assessing men, to see if they are the deceptive men or the so-called “predatory men” (more on this later) who want little or nothing more than to screw our daughters and thereby make them single mothers, we have to deal with the misery that ensues after screwing them, literally and figuratively. So rather than ensure that a man is suitable to care for future grandchildren, the most serious task one can do, fathers must tolerate any sort of low-life interlopers because it is no longer acceptable to deal with them directly. Fathers have been absolved from their honor. Their homes and children are not truly theirs because of this and other reasons discussed in other threads. Children are taught that it’s alright to bring disgrace upon their families’ reputations and lineage. If this comes across as dramatic, so be it. It is merely an expression of how seriously I take the concept of family, likely partly because I had a negligent father of my own, as well as the life outcomes of fractured families and communities I’ve seen up close. And I understand my concept of family dynamics is opposed to others.
After all, according to current popular thought, even amongst most men these days, “you can’t make decisions for your daughter,” “Once she is eighteen and out of the house…,” and, “she will learn from her mistakes,” even mistakes that will involve the neglect of children! That’s interesting considering if my daughter, when she gets older, driven by hormones and whim, decides to get with one of these negligent scumbags we speak of, and is left a single mother, my wife, son, and I, being the responsible and loving and nurturing people we are, will be left with much of the burden of caring for ONE OF US, cleaning up the mess rather than preventing it in the first place, and not even being able to do it the way it’s supposed to be done because there will be no replacement for the father the poor tot needs! Men are expected to die and kill for their families, yet in the present time we have no authority over them or to prevent single motherhood. We have to put up with abuse and negligence of our family members. This is ludicrous! And it’s one of the reasons I will not wholeheartedly recommend marriage to a young man in the present day, not until the laws change, even though I think marriage is an institution necessary for civilization.
As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, a woman I shared an office with said that her father called an ex-boyfriend off hers and told him, “Stay away from my daughter or I’ll kill you.” He was never seen or heard from again. She didn’t seem distraught or as if she had lost out from this. Gee, I wonder why. Could it be while thinking rationally she realized that her father had a dim view of this man for good reason?
Now I’ll address deception, another interesting topic mentioned here. It’s presented in such a way that deceptive men cannot be spotted, as if seemingly good, responsible men all of the sudden or gradually show their true nature, as if there were no red flags all along. This is NOT how the constitutions of people work. Inherently good-natured and caring men do not all of the sudden turn bad, and vice versa. It’s as if the deceptive men we speak of here could not be spotted by others outside of a relationship or that the female subjects we speak of are incapable of spotting deceptive and irresponsible men. I do not have magical powers, yet I’m able to spot such deceivers, people who actually showed their true colors from day one! Why is that? Could it be from my life experiences and observations and dealing with all sorts of people that I can read them with high accuracy? Why can I spot a scumbag or a man that only wants to “pump and dump” simply from his facial expression, his speech, his gait, his position, or even something unexplainable about him? So, if my daughter, in the future, were to show me a man’s social media and dating profiles, give me a chance to meet and converse with him, I would quickly form an archetype in my head, and to avoid single motherhood, conclude, “Nope!”
This reminds me of a recent conversation I had with my wife about her single-mother friend, who I believe is a good woman, after she came over our home for a play date. She said that she could not see the narcissism in her ex-husband, that he hid it for two years. Yes, such a great actor that he hid it for two years! Who could have known?
Just as an aside: the biggest womanizer I knew a former friend (former for good reason) said long ago to me, “women want to be deceived”. Isn’t that interesting, a man with such a flawed constitution (the list is heavy) attracting so many women, even after showing his true colors? He once told his wife he would give her a million dollars to leave (and yes, he several millions). And til this day, she ain’t goin’ nowhere, even though she is a pharmacist and free to go.
Hopefully I can continue on the topic of “predatory men” later on; I mean, uh… ahem… men who women throw themselves at.
And to be clear, to move forward peacefully, because this seems to be an area of contention: when I say women, I do not mean literally all women! I thought his was implied all along, but it apparently is not in all people considering “not all of us” or “not all women” is said so frequently in such conversations.