I think they’re willing to say anything to get what they want, because talk is cheap.
But women value and respond very strongly to language. They have very ticklish ears.
I’ve never been one for sweet talk, but thats my scientifical take on bimbos getting knocked up by shitbags.
We were in Istanbul.
I don’t think “I’m going to stick around after i put a baby in you” is the sexiest of foreplays…
Why is it that the blame is near constantly placed on the men, when women literally have unilateral authority over the child until it’s born? (In most states, and in pretty much all states until very recently)
Vicenza is in the north. The dudes are all gay and the women are skanks.
Thats why they don’t say that.
Some of it is, because it belongs there.
It takes two to tango.
The woman ends up having to raise a child (which is being held accountable), and the guy is required to pitch in, unless he’s a dirtbag and ditches all responsibilities.
I don’t understand the disconnect here. Men are responsible for being the father of the child they made, one way or another.
The ones that wont are shitbags. Seems pretty clear to me. 
You sound like guys should get to walk if a woman/girl is dumb enough to open her legs.
Speaking for myself, I wasn’t blaming the men exclusively in my comments earlier, but discussing the fact it is typically the female left with the hard choice to make, which is likely why they have authority over the situational decisions.
The initial post came off, to me, to say that women are or should be fully responsible for offspring, and this is objectively untrue. It takes two to make a baby.
You asked a question that was buried before I got back to it and paraphrasing it was along the lines of offering a solution to the power disparity dynamic.
I don’t know if there is a perfect answer, but in my opinion if the man is present and wants to be a father to his child, he should be able to make the call. I’m happy to disregard the “my body” argument in this case. That right and autonomy were forgone when it also became the offsprings host.
I also think that in the event the man legitimately does not know, the woman should make every attempt with documentation to make contact.
If he can’t be contacted or doesn’t want to be present, he gave the responsibility to the woman and it should be her choice what to do. He’s out. If she wants to keep it and draw support, so be it. He knew the potential risk going in. And, like everything, sex is a measured risk if pregnancy isn’t the intent. Same if the man wants to keep his baby but the woman doesn’t. She can pay up in support too.
As an aside I don’t believe in abortion and view it as murder, but that is another can of worms altogether.
I changed my mind. Men should just be allowed to walk around getting women pregnant with impunity, high fiving eachother and calling each other “King”. Bonus addendum to their mancard for comparing and understanding the nuance of quality ball caps.
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I fit right in… 73rd Airbourne Brigade
Ditto for the first part, but hard disagree on the second part. The women are too midget-y in the south for my taste.
I mean, women are literally walking around getting abortions with impunity, and calling each other “Queen”.
Equality, right?
That’s right King!
So men are virtuous, but should not be held responsible, and should strive for the lowest common denominator?
And single moms are the burden?
But the men who abandon their responsibilities and refuse to support children they’ve made aren’t the problem?
Am I hearing all of this correctly?
Something I’ve noticed, and maybe it’s just me, is that irresponsible people tend to find one another.
@Andrewgen_Receptors, I don’t understand why you need to determine which side is to blame. There is no side here. There are bad men preying on stupid women, which costs the taxpayers money. There are stupid men hooking up with stupid women, with again costly results. There are bad women using abortion as birth control, sometimes without telling a man who would want to raise the child or put it up for adoption.
Then there are the separations that occur after a child is born to an intact couple. Bad men wander away or get caught up in things that destroy them. Bad women - same. My mother needed “to find herself.” This happens regularly. Men have affairs and lose interest in family #1. Women bring shitty men into their single mother homes. I deal with people every day who grew up with one parent or the other. Shitty stepparents. Some people had both parents but wish a parent had left or been kicked out.
Both of the above groups (born to a single parent or started off with two) can be divided into financially capable of raising a child well or not capable. Not all single moms are broke ass. Not all separated dads are deadbeats. Are you unaware that this is the case? It boggles my mind that you’ve such a block in this arena, that you can’t see anything but a caricature.
I am the thread’s representative single mother. Have you not made that connection? The state did not have to support me. My ex-husband was a good earner for a long time and sold a business for a nice chunk of money, I was in the workplace and earning, and I had money that came to me when my father died. I left for many reasons, but one of them was that my ex couldn’t stop burning through money (many, many impulsive behaviors over the years) and my single father drilled it into me growing up that you live on less than you earn so you can save, save, save.
I was the one to say “uncle.” Literally - my marriage ended one morning when it was all I could come up with. I didn’t have any more solutions or rants or pleading left. Just uncle. I can’t. I give up. We did have a conversation later, when I inevitably questioned that we should keep trying, during which he acknowledged that “I just want to be left alone.” He wrote a nice email at some point taking the blame for his inability to appreciate things, but whatever. What does it really matter whose fault it is? It was impossible to maintain, and why should I have? Why should I have let my world narrow into his anger and depression?
So he is left alone - has not had a relationship last more than 6 months -and I am in a marriage with a man who likes saving and doing things and sex and playing games with the kids. My stepdaughter and granddaughter are benefited, I believe, that I am in their lives, as are my crew wrt my husband, whom they love (one son when asked if he was okay with my now-husband: “God’s honest truth, I like him better than Dad”). I will hear lovely things from his daughter next weekend, I imagine. She loves and values her mother - who is very nice to me - but her mom is kind of a barfly. She is not the one sharing books with our bookish, dorky granddaughter. While my husband was paying her child support, she chose not to work.
I think we both made the right decision, and it doesn’t really matter about good guys and bad guys. I’m sure all four of us were both the good guy and the bad guy at some points along the way.
In this thread you’ve had two-three posters echoing you about the feminist agenda and that the men are fucked and that the women are cum dumpsters. And then you’ve had probably close to a dozen disagree with your frame despite your best efforts to convince them. Look at the quality of the posters. Who do you think are the more thoughtful? The better informed? The happiest married? Why are you not moved by their different experiences?
I have ranted against one of the TRT regulars occasionally because he is perhaps the most prolific advice-giver on the boards, but in 2018 posted this:
I should note that he seems to have gotten his shit together, but the above did not stop him advising others as to best practice for years. Anyway, @Andrewgen_Receptors, I see you bypassing the advice of people who are fit and healthy in the arena in question - marriage, relationships, child-rearing - in favor of train wreck advisors. Why?
Intentional or not, you’re extrapolating a subset as the norm. Maybe playing devils advocate, maybe need to broaden horizons.
I don’t think anyone would disagree that it’s shitty when people do shitty things.
Skank means promiscuous. A woman can be ugly and skanky.
I love that word
They’re also communists.
What do you mean “advice”? I’m not looking for advice, i was asking what contributes to the epidemic of single motherhood in America.
Most people’s knee-jerk reaction is “its the mens fault”, and I’ve found that to be inadequate considering the lack of authority men have in the process. The majority of the posters in this thread parrot this same sentiment.
You’re not exactly a single mom if you’re married and/or had your children’s father present. Your children were raised with a positive male influence, right? You had your reasons for separating, and they are reasonable.
The problem isn’t the single mom’s themselves - its what happens to their kids when a fatherly figure isn’t present. I’m sure you don’t need me to go over the statistical disadvantages they have, this was never intended to be a men vs women thread.
This is at least the second thread you’ve insinuated or assumed is about me and my marriage, when it truly isn’t. Honestly, it’s pretty fuckin annoying. I didnt come here for advice, i came here for discussion.
We should all be held responsible for our actions. As it is now, men are very often held responsible for the actions of women in this arena.
Neither men nor women are inherently virtuous.