School Bullying

Off Topic
21

[quote]daddyzombie wrote:
Again, thank you for all of the responses, they’re all great. The more we look into it, the more we realize there are lots of home school kids around here. We never realized there were so many. As I said, she’s a straight A student, and the cirriculum offered by the local schools don’t really challenge here enough in our opinion.

There is a local homeschooling group we haven’t been able to connect with yet. When the librarian saw us checking out a bunch of books relating to home schooling, she had all sorts of info for us. Since we’ve been keeping her home, she’s a different kid now. She was strongly resisting school, and was in a bad mood all the time. Now she’s cheerful again. Willingly gets up in the morning, has breakfast, and begins her studying.

I’ll be honest, it’s sometimes scary how smart today’s kids are. She reads as fast as my wife how took speed reading. She read the last Harry Potter book in less than a day, and has been studying plant biology from one of my old college text books. She’s 11, and I have no doubt she will have no trouble getting into the university of her choice.[/quote]

daddyzombie, what a heart-wrenching situation. I went through it with my own son. I ended up taking the martial arts route myself and that worked for us. Actually, we took the classes together. We were fortunate enough to find a wonderful Sensei who even went to my son’s school and spoke to the principal on his behalf. I don’t regret it for a second.

Also, I know many children that have been home schooled and each and every one of them have turned out to be very successful, very socially acceptable people that appear to be genuinely happy with life. I used to work with a police officer that home schooled all of his 6 children. They belonged to a group much like what you’ve been looking into. A point that I’d like to bring up is that not only is a benefit to the children but it’s also a support group for the parents.

I really wish you the best and if you decide to home school, please let us know how your daughter is adjusting. My heart goes out to you.

Susan

22

I was homeschooled until 8th grade. I have never had problems with being bullied so I can’t offer much advice about that. However, I did do MA for most of my life (Stopped about when I went into school due to various medical issues, just started BJJ), and it is great for building discipline and self-esteem.

From my experience with highschool the only part that could speak for it is the social experience. I have always been rather quite and shy but my sister (Same time homeschooled) has always been a very outgoing person. So, as long as you help her get as involved with stuff as she like she should do fine.

If she is as smart as you say she is, sending her to a public highschool may be counter-productive. I spent most of my time in HS being bored off my arse, except for one teacher’s classes, and I went to a really elite private school. In this wonderous day and age most of the materials needed should be available online, such as MIT’s open course work. Meeting with someone or some people occasionally might also help.

23

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. After a couple of broken ulnas they won’t mess with her.

24

[quote]daddyzombie wrote:
Knowing we have both men and women here, I was curious to get a little feedback about an issue my kids have been facing recently. My wife and I have two daughters, one 8, and one 11. The oldest had a serious illness when she was in first grade causeing most of her hair to fall out. When she started back to school she was given special attention, mainly in the fact that she was allowed to wear a hat when others were not. That’s when most of the trouble started, she was picked on by some of the other kids through the rest of elementary school.

Now she’s in Middle School, and has endured a kid threatening to kill her, and a couple other boys chasing her yelling sexually explicit stuff at her. Well, I’m seriously pissed by this point, and if she were a boy, I would teach her to take these kids down. But, instead we’ve gone to the principal, and the school board. They act sympathetic, but have done nothing. She’s really bright, and I’m not saying that because she’s mine. She’s scored in the 98th percentile in a recent national test, and received a presidential award for academic excellence.

So, we’ve decided to pull her out of school, and home school her. I have concerns that she’ll be missing out on certain social activities, and whether or not we can keep her stimulated intellectually. We’ve found home schooling programs, and she’s actually been studying from some of my old college science text books, and doing quit well. I’d like to hear some of your thoughts and feedback on this issue[/quote]

High school teacher here.

Teach your kids at home. Schools absolutely suck, most anyway. At most, find a private school with a strong environment of discipline. If anyone bullies here, we kick their asses out. Of course, there’s always taunting and BS like that which we don’t see, but we do the best we can.

Also, if a girl is home schooled, she won’t become a slut or come home pregnant or a crack head prostitute.

Definitely home school. Then send her to a college for kids who were home schooled.

Schools generallt SUCK.

25

Let me start by saying I don’t have kids, and I am crazy, but for two years I was homeschooled and I hated it. Plus your daughter is smart, so in the future these bullies will probably be calling her “boss.” Good Luck.

26

my wife and i had the same problem,school board ya ya. nothing changed. guy still played with my daughters breasts. had another meeting,this time we took a lawyer, shit changed real quick.

27

Did I read that right? Cuz it came from leftfield.

Kinda like when I try to pick up chicks…“hey you wanna go out to eat, maybe a movie, walk in the park, sex, the theater, to a bar, etc…”

That is fucked up toejam, hope you kill that sack of shit.

28

[quote]boyscout wrote:
If you’ve talked to the school and they’ve done nothing, it’s time to start taking action if you want her to go back.

There’s actually a great article in (gasp!) Men’s Health january issue about bullying. Granted its geared more towards little kids being bullied.

Essentially it can be summarized:
-start leaving a paper trail, ie: send letters to the school principal school board, and force them to take action
-Talk to specific parents of the kids who’re doing the bullying, and send them letters/emails about it too.
-It’s basically a steer clear order is what you’d be asking for, the two kids avoid each other.
-The bonus to leaving a paper trail is there’s now evidence with which you can build a reasonable case to take legal action if necessary. Schools will probably start listening REAL close if threatened w/ legal action.
Just someone else opinion on it, take it or leave it–granted it was in men’s health, so take it with a big grain of salt. I think taking super extreme action can backfire in the sense that your daughter and your family could have some sort of stigma attached as the people who forced change/ruffled feathers. That said, sometimes that action can be extremely effective.
[/quote]

Sentiments like these contribute to our current lawyer-laden society and trigger happy citizens who will sue you if you look at them the wrong way. Unless her life or physical well being is threatened, teach her how to handle the situation herself. That is part of growing up.

29

It can take years - if ever - to get over the emotional harm done by bullying. It’s kind of hard to teach a girl how not to be effected by it. If it’s boy, I would say teach him to fight.

30

I have read through about half the first page of this topic and I’m already upset. Kids are not puppies, and socialization is not as important as intellectual and emotional development. Parents can provide both if they are mature within both aspects. Social maturity is a secondary trait, a by product of those two primary factors.

And yes, I was homeschooled. My mother was a sort of pioneer in the field, and I got really sick of people looking at me like I was a freak and saying, “But how is she going to be socialized?”

So my first “socialization” was learning to be skeptical, and then disdaining, of people who thought everyone had to fit into our established cultural trends to be successful.

If you are a loving, intelligent, sympathetic parent, your homeschooled child will be thank you for the rest of her life, and will benefit in ways she may not even realize for a long time. And you are incredibly loving parents to consider putting the time and resources into doing this for your daughter.

31

[quote]Headhunter wrote:

Also, if a girl is home schooled, she won’t become a slut or come home pregnant or a crack head prostitute.
[/quote]

Always a bonus.

In three more years, start taking her to the gym.

32

dk44,absolute truth,he was a jock so they get away with alot,i was a jock in h.s. so i know what a athlete can get away with. didn’t have to kill him. he got picked up by cops one night, and hanged himself in the cell.

33

A weak solution would be an all-girls school, run by nuns who take no shit. Girls can be little ‘Hillarys’ but the likelihood of boys pulling shit is gone.

34

Sluicy you sound psycho (see what happens when homeschooled)

35

It’s that zero tolerance bullshit that my generation grew up with (I’m 21). They threated EVERYONE involved in fighting with serious shit.

Turned lots of kids in my generation into weak little punks with zero fear of retribution.

Kinda thing that prevents decent guys from forcing jerk-offs to shut the fuck up.

36

[quote]Ghost22 wrote:
It’s that zero tolerance bullshit that my generation grew up with (I’m 21). They threated EVERYONE involved in fighting with serious shit.

Turned lots of kids in my generation into weak little punks with zero fear of retribution.

Kinda thing that prevents decent guys from forcing jerk-offs to shut the fuck up. [/quote]

Exactly!!! Children are worried about stepping forward for fear of making things worse for themselves, not necessarily by the so-called bully but by teachers/administration/school board as well. There are so many that I know wanting to do or say something about it but nobody wants to make their child the example (rightfully so).

Myself, I went through the chain of command, starting at the bottom, and it only made things worse for my son. I talked to the teacher, then the VP, then the principal. When I got nowhere, I called the school board. This was supposed to be a confidential call (that’s what I was told). I explained to them, in a calm, well thought out manner and stuck to facts, the situation. Not even ten minutes later, my phone rang. It was my son’s principal. Her exact words to me were “Ah, do we have a problem here, Miss ______?” Private, my ass.

You do what you have to daddyzombie to ensure your little girl has the best opportunities. Sorry for being so long-winded (again) but this shit really gets me riled up.

37

[quote]Ghost22 wrote:
It’s that zero tolerance bullshit that my generation grew up with (I’m 21). They threated EVERYONE involved in fighting with serious shit.

Turned lots of kids in my generation into weak little punks with zero fear of retribution.

Kinda thing that prevents decent guys from forcing jerk-offs to shut the fuck up. [/quote]

Yup. Well stated.

38

My kid has been bullied, he’s 10 now. In Baltimore County the public schools are really good, and our teacher helped us take care of the situation.

They gave us the option to file a “Bully Report,” which is when the kid and his parents have to sit down with you and the principal.

I called the kids dad, and told him I was going to file the report.

The kid stopped next week.

39

Some great advise. I guess all I can add is, if the situation allows for it spending that quality time with your child will come back ten fold. That kind of bounding lasts a life time. I enjoy the fact that my daughter and I are best friends because of the time we spent together when she was young. Best of luck DZ.

40

[quote]streamline wrote:
Some great advise. I guess all I can add is, if the situation allows for it spending that quality time with your child will come back ten fold. That kind of bounding lasts a life time. I enjoy the fact that my daughter and I are best friends because of the time we spent together when she was young. Best of luck DZ.[/quote]

Yup. A lot of my kids would LOVE for their dads and moms just to spend time with them. I teach my oldest son (he’s in a class I teach) and it is an experience we’ll never forget.