[quote]Ratchet wrote:
Xab wrote:
Granted. They fucked him up even worse.
I wish I could take a nap instead of work.
granted, but you have to take that nap in a garbage dump on top of a pile of smelly old baby diapers…
I wish I could teleport
[/quote]
Granted, but everytime you teleport you end up at that new location blowing a homeless man.
I wish I could have sex with Natalie Portman.
[quote]Ratchet wrote:
Xab wrote:
Granted. They fucked him up even worse.
I wish I could take a nap instead of work.
granted, but you have to take that nap in a garbage dump on top of a pile of smelly old baby diapers…
I wish I could teleport
[/quote]
Granted, but you ended up appearing half inside a big rock (you lower half) so you can’t shit or fuck anymore. You eventually die from exposure.
I wish the us postal service was more efficient
[quote]WS4JB wrote:
I wish I could have sex with Natalie Portman.
[/quote]
Granted. You are set to have sex with her in 2071.
I wish there was a new episode of 30 Rock and The Office every day.
[quote]Xab wrote:
I wish there was a new episode of 30 Rock and The Office every day. [/quote]
Granted, but they run out material and get cancelled by September.
I wish it were 4:30pm today I can leave work so the weekend will begin.
[quote]
Granted. You are set to have sex with her in 2071.
I wish there was a new episode of 30 Rock and The Office every day. [/quote]
Granted. However Tina Fey is replaced with Oprah and Steve Correll has been replaced with Tom Cruz.
I wish I had Phil Heath’s arms and Dexters Abs!
Granted. Right before the transplant, they both get in horrible accidents so you now have grossly misfigured arms and abs.
I wish I had something to eat and didn’t have to wait another 2 hours for food.
[quote]Xab wrote:
I wish I had something to eat and didn’t have to wait another 2 hours for food. [/quote]
Granted! You don’t wait two hours, however what you have to eat is a sandwish with your dogs steamer in it.
I wish Angelina Jolie would invite me over for some all night sex and Brad Pitt was not involved in the act.
Granted! Unfortunately, the only thing she’s into is taking a dump on your chest.
I wish for some a Jimmy John’s lettuce Unwich wrap for lunch.
[quote]Xab wrote:
Granted! Unfortunately, the only thing she’s into is taking a dump on your chest.
I wish for some a Jimmy John’s lettuce Unwich wrap for lunch.[/quote]
Granted: but its filled with angi’s steamer from last night.
I wish that I had a thicker mustache.
Granted, but the guy who made it had a grudge against you and put his pubes in it ( he later snuck into your bedroom and left a steamer on your bed)
I wish I could clone myself
Granted. But your clone sneaks out and leaves a steamer in your boss’ bed, as well as polaroids of him committing the act, so you get fired.
I wish my gym didnt close at 4pm on a saturday.
Granted, but you are no longer permitted to enter your gym on saturdays.
I wish i was a millionaire.
Granted. You now have a million gold in World of Warcraft.
I wish Biotest had free supplement day.
Granted but its not open to 2009 members.
I wish I had the energy to post more often and knew why i was a level 0 when I spend a bunch of cash at Biotest.
Granted, you are now a level 4 cocaine addict.
I wish i was more SWOLE
Granted but its just your head that grows, the rest of you still looks like the machinist.
I wish I didnt have to work on a Saturday.
Granted: but its a bad batch and causes your scrotum to swell more then anything els.
I wish my comments would appear at a relevant time.
Granted: but insead you must volunteer to give head to all the residents at the local nursing home.
I wish I made more money.
Granted. You now work on every Saturday.
I wish I could just be done with college and have my degree.
Granted: but your an idiot and get fired because you can’t really perform in your given field.
I wish the girls at my college didn’t all have stds