[quote]Tulkastaldo wrote:
You can eat fire, which is awesome, however you shit amtrak trains which are only ridden by Amish people and middle aged autistic bachelors with their moms. When you try to expand rail service to more areas there are protests to keep the rail lines out of people’s neighborhoods.
You are pinned as the culprit since the trains issued from your anus and you are forced to consume the trains you shat out, which, of course, results in you shitting fire, which immolates your entire state resulting in the fall of democracy in America since everyone knows the nation goes the way of Ohio.
I wish I could show up at an aryan brotherhood rally and morph into a nordic frost giant so I could eat every other attendant and shit them out in an unmarked grave.[/quote]
Granted, and the only way I’m going to ruin this, is by giving you mild stomach discomfort during your subsequent bowel movements, however, you soon discover that you can’t morph back and as a nordic frost giant, your “ice penis” is -40* C, so you can never have sex unless it is with another female nordic frost giant (and they look like Fiona from Shreck, only whiter and colder)
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Tulkastaldo wrote:
You can eat fire, which is awesome, however you shit amtrak trains which are only ridden by Amish people and middle aged autistic bachelors with their moms. When you try to expand rail service to more areas there are protests to keep the rail lines out of people’s neighborhoods.
You are pinned as the culprit since the trains issued from your anus and you are forced to consume the trains you shat out, which, of course, results in you shitting fire, which immolates your entire state resulting in the fall of democracy in America since everyone knows the nation goes the way of Ohio.
I wish I could show up at an aryan brotherhood rally and morph into a nordic frost giant so I could eat every other attendant and shit them out in an unmarked grave.
Granted, and the only way I’m going to ruin this, is by giving you mild stomach discomfort during your subsequent bowel movements, however, you soon discover that you can’t morph back and as a nordic frost giant, your “ice penis” is -40* C, so you can never have sex unless it is with another female nordic frost giant (and they look like Fiona from Shreck, only whiter and colder)
I wish I was omnipotent[/quote]
Granted…sort of. A genie hears of your wish, but mistakes “omnipotent” for impotent. No babies for you.
I wish people would stop using their car horns…either that or I’ll also accept the power to make stuff explode with my mind.
[quote]MetalGrasshopper wrote:
I wish people would stop using their car horns…either that or I’ll also accept the power to make stuff explode with my mind.[/quote]
Granted, people no longer use their car horns between 3:15pm to 3:17pm on solar eclipses that happen to fall on the 3rd Tuesday of a prime-numbered month in years that end in 1. Also, you gain the ability to make stuff explode with your mind, but the first thing you think of are your testicles, which explode, mysteriously leaving fresh hot steamers on your bed.
I wish Sarah Chalke was my girlfriend. I mean, damn, just look at that smile.
Er, where’s the wish? Okay you wished that your wish was invisible, and appearently it was granted. And then your girlfriend turned into a hot steamer.
I wish i had a dollar for every wish that somehow turned into a hot steamer or caused irratible bowl
movements.
[quote]CainMarko wrote:
Granted, You earn a one dollar gift voucher everytime blah blah blah .
I wish that asian chick in you avatar was my GF. Also i wish she made a blowjob gesture, that would be sweet. [/quote]
Granted, she was your GF for thirty seconds (long enough for you to get off). You only get one wish, which I chose to only mildly ruin because I’m on my way to the pub so I can watch the All Blacks DOMINATE (hopefully) and you are from NZ and I didn’t want ANY negative karma or bad luck.
I wish that the All Blacks win, and that I don’t get my ass kicked by people at the pub because it’s likely to be a sea of green. (I’m wearing a black haka shirt).
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
CainMarko wrote:
Granted, You earn a one dollar gift voucher everytime blah blah blah .
I wish that asian chick in you avatar was my GF. Also i wish she made a blowjob gesture, that would be sweet.
Granted, she was your GF for thirty seconds (long enough for you to get off). You only get one wish, which I chose to only mildly ruin because I’m on my way to the pub so I can watch the All Blacks DOMINATE (hopefully) and you are from NZ and I didn’t want ANY negative karma or bad luck.
I wish that the All Blacks win, and that I don’t get my ass kicked by people at the pub because it’s likely to be a sea of green. (I’m wearing a black haka shirt).
[/quote]
Granted, They win and you rejoice. Unfortunately the sea of green at the pub decides to take out their sorrows and rape you endlessly.
[quote]neally87 wrote:
angry chicken wrote:
CainMarko wrote:
Granted, You earn a one dollar gift voucher everytime blah blah blah .
I wish that asian chick in you avatar was my GF. Also i wish she made a blowjob gesture, that would be sweet.
Granted, she was your GF for thirty seconds (long enough for you to get off). You only get one wish, which I chose to only mildly ruin because I’m on my way to the pub so I can watch the All Blacks DOMINATE (hopefully) and you are from NZ and I didn’t want ANY negative karma or bad luck.
I wish that the All Blacks win, and that I don’t get my ass kicked by people at the pub because it’s likely to be a sea of green. (I’m wearing a black haka shirt).
Granted, They win and you rejoice. Unfortunately the sea of green at the pub decides to take out their sorrows and rape you endlessly.
I wish i was a bear.[/quote]
Granted. You are now a teddy bear belonging to a small child who can’t stop leaving steamers on your head.
I wish I could control and change my body composition instantaneously (bf%, weight, muscle mass, etc…)
grnated, but you cant comtrol bowel movements, so every time you squat, you shit EVERYWHERE, right it front of the that hot tight pants girl with hard nipples and a thong line and glisening sweat.
[quote]talmid91 wrote:
baretta wrote:
neally87 wrote:
Granted, however the tits it rains have been sliced off the 10000 most beautiful women in the world.
I wish i could find my damn car keys.
granted. you find them in your ass.
I wish didn’t know your car keys were in your ass.
Granted but now you are confused about your sexuality.
[quote]talmid91 wrote:
baretta wrote:
neally87 wrote:
Granted, however the tits it rains have been sliced off the 10000 most beautiful women in the world.
I wish i could find my damn car keys.
granted. you find them in your ass.
I wish didn’t know your car keys were in your ass.
Granted but now you are confused about your sexuality.
I wish I had an impreza wrx[/quote]
Granted, but you wreck it pulling out of the dealer lot.
(definitely agree about ^^'S avatar! And the All Blacks lost today, yes, I was the only NZ fan in the shitty irish pub watching the match, so the earlier ruined wish almost came true - so…)
