Ruin a Wish!

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Ace Rimmer wrote:
MetalGrasshopper wrote:
Ace Rimmer wrote:
I wish I could fuck Jessica Simpson and Hayden Pannetierre,and get them to do A2OGM (ass-to-other-girls-mouth)

Granted, but they also brick uncontrollably in each others mouths, which strangely enough seems to get them off to the point of turning into violent man hating lesbians. Seeing you aroused by their disgusting act, they also leave hot steamers in your mouth, on which you suffocate to death and they castrate you in victory.

I wish I weren’t so bitter and could just be happy.

Granted,but you are stabbed viciously by a manic depressive jealous at your happy-go-lucky attitude.

I wish I could have met Bruce Lee before he died…

Granted, but every time you opened your mouth to ask him a question, he delivers a three inch punch to your kidney.

I wish I wasn’t so fucking hung over.

[/quote]

Granted, because that was actually a mixture of yak piss and e.coli culture you drank last night.

I wish that kittens didn’t have to die and could all go live beneath an everlasting rainbow of happiness made of marzipan.

[quote]Tulkastaldo wrote:

Granted, because that was actually a mixture of yak piss and e.coli culture you drank last night.

I wish that kittens didn’t have to die and could all go live beneath an everlasting rainbow of happiness made of marzipan.[/quote]

Granted. Now the Earth is over populated with every single kitten that ever lived. You also ate too much marzipan and stopped working out so you’re a completely out of shape fat ass surrounded by cat shit.

I wish that everyone would be completely miserable and we’d all successfully simultaneously commit suicide. Alternatively, I’ll also accept a massive asteroid hitting Earth, the impact of which kills everyone and everything.

Granted, except you have to join us in hell and listen to us bitch about our miserable lives for eternity.

I wish I could get laid.

[quote]madman27409 wrote:
I wish that everyone would be completely miserable and we’d all successfully simultaneously commit suicide. Alternatively, I’ll also accept a massive asteroid hitting Earth, the impact of which kills everyone and everything.

Granted, except you have to join us in hell and listen to us bitch about our miserable lives for eternity.

I wish I could get laid.[/quote]

Granted, but then you forgot to wear a condom and you caught every STD known to mankind.

I wish I were able to sleep

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
I wish I were able to sleep[/quote]

Granted, but you leave hot steamers during the night.

I wish my girlfriend didn’t leave me without warning.

[quote]Vegg wrote:
Granted, but you leave hot steamers during the night.

I wish my girlfriend didn’t leave me without warning.[/quote]

Granted, but she told you that you were such an awful boyfriend that she was going to be a lesbian so that she never had to deal with another man again. Also, steamers in bed, etc.

I wish my back would heal so I can go get that new deadlift PR of 285 like God intended me to.

[quote]Xab wrote:
I wish my back would heal so I can go get that new deadlift PR of 285 like God intended me to.[/quote]

Granted. But now, in the midst of your pull you drop a hot steamer on the gym floor, causing the hot cardio chicks to run away in fear.

I wish I had some weed right now…

[quote]Sick Rick wrote:
Xab wrote:
I wish my back would heal so I can go get that new deadlift PR of 285 like God intended me to.

Granted. But now, in the midst of your pull you drop a hot steamer on the gym floor, causing the hot cardio chicks to run away in fear.

I wish I had some weed right now…

[/quote]

Granted, but you must smoke it out of a bong made from a dried horse turd.
I wish I could go back in time and encourage Hitler to keep pursuing his painting career.

[quote]Tulkastaldo wrote:
Sick Rick wrote:
Xab wrote:
I wish my back would heal so I can go get that new deadlift PR of 285 like God intended me to.

Granted. But now, in the midst of your pull you drop a hot steamer on the gym floor, causing the hot cardio chicks to run away in fear.

I wish I had some weed right now…

Granted, but you must smoke it out of a bong made from a dried horse turd.
I wish I could go back in time and encourage Hitler to keep pursuing his painting career.[/quote]

He does,and his most famous painting is of you breaking your neck whilst attempting to suck your own cock,which he imagined in a dream.You then become famous as his muse,and rumours start that it is so accurate you must haved posed for it.

I wish I could start again.Just start again.Just forget all this,it was just a rehearsal.I Just wanna walk straight out of my mums hymen,enter stage right and take it from the top.No cuecards needed.I’d have it down.

Granted, he paints nice portraits of you lying in your own steamers. Not happy wit how wish turned out, attempt to flee the 1930/1940s, but can’t as Hitler closes the portal and says “your mine”.

I wish someone would send me a copy of diablo 2 .

^^ Granted, starting again causes a rip in time and space and then all of a sudden everything goes back to normal with the exception of your mangina which you really enjoy.

I wish i had a faster internet service

[quote]CainMarko wrote:
^^ Granted, starting again causes a rip in time and space and then all of a sudden everything goes back to normal with the exception of your mangina which you really enjoy.

I wish i had a faster internet service[/quote]

You do, but you have to use the faster internet to break the code on a bomb that’s going to blow your balls off, all while a spider monkey takes a steamer on top of your head.

I wish my weeks worth of paperwork was all done.

[quote]CainMarko wrote:
^^ Granted, starting again causes a rip in time and space and then all of a sudden everything goes back to normal with the exception of your mangina which you really enjoy.

I wish i had a faster internet service[/quote]

Granted, but your computer is now toast.

I wish I were an indestructible hippo.

granted but you cant get an erection or find a mate, or food, so you end up dying of starvation.

I wish that I could drink beer in my own home with my ol man

[quote]brauny96 wrote:
granted but you cant get an erection or find a mate, or food, so you end up dying of starvation.

I wish that I could drink beer in my own home with my ol man[/quote]

Granted,but he secretly pisses in your beer while you take a whizz.
Every time.
The he tells you.

I wish I could kill annoying forumites by pressing a button on my laptop.

granted, but you get arrested

wish i could beat the world record deadlift

[quote]brauny96 wrote:
granted, but you get arrested

wish i could beat the world record deadlift[/quote]

Granted, but you can only squat 135 and bench 95, thus making you look deformed. You also leave hot steamers whenever you deadlift.

I wish I didn’t leave hot steamers everywhere.

[quote]Vegg wrote:
brauny96 wrote:
granted, but you get arrested

wish i could beat the world record deadlift

Granted, but you can only squat 135 and bench 95, thus making you look deformed. You also leave hot steamers whenever you deadlift.

I wish I didn’t leave hot steamers everywhere.

[/quote]

Granted. Now your steamers come out at -200C, giving your ass frostbite every time you let one out, which is once every 6 seconds.

I wish for everyone to take a nice relaxing steamer tonight and think of their loved ones…then the world will run out of TP

[quote]Vegg wrote:
brauny96 wrote:
granted, but you get arrested

wish i could beat the world record deadlift

Granted, but you can only squat 135 and bench 95, thus making you look deformed. You also leave hot steamers whenever you deadlift.

I wish I didn’t leave hot steamers everywhere.

[/quote]

Granted, you only leave them in your bed now

I wish I was a vampire slayer like Buffy so I could go kick ass every night

[quote]jasmincar wrote:

I wish I was a vampire slayer like Buffy so I could go kick ass every night
[/quote]

Granted, however you only get to hunt high school kids wearing plastic teeth that call themselves vampires.

I wish I knew what game to pick up tomorrow.