Granted. You are now Arnold Goldburg, a mid-income, morbidly obese certified public accountant living in a crummy apartment in Montana circa 1973.
I wish I could fart rainbows.
I wish I could fart rainbows
Granted, however it leads to the pile of crap on your bed.
I wish I was GOD
Granted…but I am dyslexic so you are now one of those annoying chihuahuas!
I wish I was 6 feet 3 inches tall.
Granted, but you are now depressed after learning you had tumors growing in your legs.
I wish i was super fast
Granted. You now shit in less than half a second.
I wish I had arms the size of Thib’s.
Granted. Your body cannibalizes all the muscle in your legs and packs it onto your arms. It takes 2 years of physio to get you walking again.
I wish it would stop raining.
[quote]BrentGoose wrote:
I wish it would stop raining.[/quote]
Granted. It stops raining forever and all life on earth eventually dies.
I wish it was six weeks into the future and I, Bodybuilder has been released.
Granted. You leap 6 weeks into the future, only to find that in the previous 6 weeks you spent all your money on cheap crack and whiskey so you can’t afford Anaconda anymore.
I wish I had this report finished so I could go home early today.
[quote]BrentGoose wrote:
Granted. You leap 6 weeks into the future, only to find that in the previous 6 weeks you spent all your money on cheap crack and whiskey so you can’t afford Anaconda anymore.
I wish I had this report finished so I could go home early today.[/quote]
Granted, but you find out that you did it all wrong and you gotta do it again tomorrow.
I wish I could ride a dinosaur (preferably a T-Rex) to work. Even if I get eaten or pooed on it’ll be worth it.
Granted…you get to ride your miniature baby T-rex to work then you get eaten AND then pooed out in the desert where you dry up in the sun.
I wish the Pittsburgh Pirates could actually win the world series this year!
Granted, but you wake up to find a steamer in your and realize it was just a dream
I wish i had a lifetime supply of protein bars.
Granted but they all taste like steamers.
I wish I loved the taste of every food.
[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Granted but they all taste like steamers.
I wish I loved the taste of every food.[/quote]
Granted, But it all tastes the same so you soon become tired of it, and stop eating.
I wish American Partners Bank didn’t announce they were closing while I have three fucking loans with them! (~$30K on the line!)
They don’t close because of a bailout and the government goes into horrible debt eventually leading you to get drafted to annex Canada for oil and resources, where you are killed by a genetically engineered battle moose.
I wish I had hair like Stallone in the 80’s
Granted, not only do you have stallone’s hair style you also go around saying " I am the Law" and hold the guiness record for the biggest Bottom lip ever
I wish I really was Cain Marko
Granted. But it ends up being Glam Stallone like in this pic.
I wish I was hnug like “den” from realy heavy metal magazine…
[quote]CainMarko wrote:
Granted, not only do you have stallone’s hair style you also go around saying " I am the Law" and hold the guiness record for the biggest Bottom lip ever
I wish I really was Cain Marko[/quote]
(since brown trout didn’t make a wish… FOLLOW THE RULES!!!)
Granted, Wizard ranked the Juggernaut (cain marko) 188th on their list of the Top 200 Comic Book Characters of All Time, according to Wikkipedia… So relative to all the other comic super heroes, you’re the bottom 10% - Great wish, buddy.
I wish I could come up with more blog topics
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
CainMarko wrote:
Granted, not only do you have stallone’s hair style you also go around saying " I am the Law" and hold the guiness record for the biggest Bottom lip ever
I wish I really was Cain Marko
(since brown trout didn’t make a wish… FOLLOW THE RULES!!!)
Sorry. Tried to save it^^
Granted, pretty soon you start on “STD’s please”
I wish Angry Chicken didn’t have such a lame avatar