Rough Draft Rap

Off Topic
21

[quote]That One Guy wrote:

[quote]jlutz3 wrote:
To me, it was bad dude. Maybe it would sound better once you memorize it, but it’s easy to tell you’re reading it. Like some suggested, work on your delivery and mostly your voice…you sound scared and MCing is all about attitude and just killin’ the mic. The suggestion to put that over a Dilla beat is just nonsense considering he’s one of the best beatmakers EVER. Yes, you can rhyme your words, but your rhymes are elementary/simple. Get creative, rhyme more syllables together…not just “tame, game, brain, maintain”…make sense?

Not trying to rip you, just give you advice. I used to be in a hip hop group back in my college days and did shows all over the Midwest opening up for people like Slum Village, One Be lo and El Da Sensai to name a few. I’m not bragging, I just know what it takes. When I first began I started out the same way just throwing words together making no sense. Keep practicing and you’ll get better. The more you write, the better you’ll get…be creative and work on your voice. MCing is a craft you sharpen, similar to bodybuidling. [/quote]

Fsho man, I know it’s gonna be bad, unlike a lot of people I am able to admit that when I first start picking up a skill that I will suck, and I expect to. Right now I was thinking of keeping the rhyming simple, so that I could focus on the delivery and flo, instead of worrying about rhyming “hippopatamus” with “rock anonymous” or something like that. What do you think? How’d you progress in this thing.[/quote]

Why keep it simple? Do your best to take it to another level. Spit about some shit that stirs up emotions up in you…which will transfer through the mic and people will actually vibe with it.

like listen to this song by Joe Budden. Skill, passion, emotion all wrapped up in one. Bring the whole package not bits n pieces.

I remember growing up as a kid
opening up a fridge with nothing to give
pops smashing beer bottles and pounding fists
moms shedding tears, crouching by baby sisters crib
born into a rough life I never chose to live
All I can do is sweat and bleed, to try and give
my siblings a leadership role to make goals big
without struggle there’s no absolute progress
without a genuine passion there’s no conquest
Nowadays loyalty is such a rarity
I just sit back blowing trees
Thinking of palm trees and bliss full imagery
I am my own enemy, I am the one corrupting me
I am the one emotionally erupting
raging with fire and self inflicted cruelty
but the only thing keeping any of my sanity
is beautiful vanity brought forth through poetry

meh was bored if you couldn’t tell :slight_smile:

22

[quote]That One Guy wrote:

[quote]jlutz3 wrote:
To me, it was bad dude. Maybe it would sound better once you memorize it, but it’s easy to tell you’re reading it. Like some suggested, work on your delivery and mostly your voice…you sound scared and MCing is all about attitude and just killin’ the mic. The suggestion to put that over a Dilla beat is just nonsense considering he’s one of the best beatmakers EVER. Yes, you can rhyme your words, but your rhymes are elementary/simple. Get creative, rhyme more syllables together…not just “tame, game, brain, maintain”…make sense?

Not trying to rip you, just give you advice. I used to be in a hip hop group back in my college days and did shows all over the Midwest opening up for people like Slum Village, One Be lo and El Da Sensai to name a few. I’m not bragging, I just know what it takes. When I first began I started out the same way just throwing words together making no sense. Keep practicing and you’ll get better. The more you write, the better you’ll get…be creative and work on your voice. MCing is a craft you sharpen, similar to bodybuidling. [/quote]

Fsho man, I know it’s gonna be bad, unlike a lot of people I am able to admit that when I first start picking up a skill that I will suck, and I expect to. Right now I was thinking of keeping the rhyming simple, so that I could focus on the delivery and flo, instead of worrying about rhyming “hippopatamus” with “rock anonymous” or something like that. What do you think? How’d you progress in this thing.[/quote]

Really the only advice I can give you is to keep writing…that’s the only way you’ll get better. Don’t stop. These days you can find instrumentals all over the place. Try to find someone who makes beats in your area and create a good relationship with him where he’ll throw you beats either cheap or for free. I will say, memorizing your rhymes is the best way to work on your delivery (rather than reading). Like Carlito said, why keep it simple? Challenge yourself. Study your favorite MC’s rhymes (literally study them) and pay attention to the way they flow, deliver, and their creative wordplay. Mold your influences into your own unique style…don’t ever bite anyone’s flow. I could go on for days…let me know if you need/want any more advice and feel free to send me more of your shit, I always love hearing people trying to come up and help 'em out.

23

I’m gonna disagree with the others [shockers] on the part of whether to work on flow/delivery first or everything, and say I like your approach. At least the way you described it [That One Guy], yeah you’d probably be better off working on how you say things instead of how complex the rhymes are.

My honest opinion is that what holds most rappers back is almost never how complex their rhymes are. In fact, the same goes for punchlines, and wordplay of the more complex variety. You’ll probably hear a lot of people talking about how [insert whoever is big right now] sucks and that there are about 50 rappers who can write better rhymes or lines than him whenever there is talk about who’s a good rapper. And they’re right. There are probably more than 50. But writing great lines doesn’t really make you a great rapper alone, since people listen to rap and don’t just read it. [And besides, if they know more than 50, then why should any one of those rappers be famous? There’s fuckin’ 50 of 'em]

That’s the problem with those Slaughterhouse guys. They’re not bad as far as punchlines/wordplay go, but those guys just cannot get people to care about what their saying. They don’t sound entertaining, and they’re in the music profession- not good. This isn’t meant to offend the guy that posted the Joe Budden song. I didn’t think that was a bad song at all, it’s just on the whole he’s never really impressed me as a rapper.

The best rappers [IMO] are the ones who are the best at interacting with and flowing over the beats they are given/they find. This really should be rule number one, but unfortunately when discussing hip hop on an artistic level a lot of people try to major in the minors. People like to talk about hip hop’s roots, but at the very beginning people never forgot this rule [and most big rappers still don’t]. If you can get rule number one down, you’re a good rapper. Then focus on the rest to be a great rapper.

That being said I don’t want this to come off as me saying ignore what you’re writing. In fact, I think you should keep the focus there, too. Just make sure not putting all the focus on punchlines/rhymes/wordplay, and instead make sure you put the brunt of the attention on developing a character/aesthetic/concept. Beats play into character and concept too, so it should always be a back and forth thing with writing and rapping over beats.

24

[quote]jlutz3 wrote:

[quote]That One Guy wrote:

[quote]jlutz3 wrote:
To me, it was bad dude. Maybe it would sound better once you memorize it, but it’s easy to tell you’re reading it. Like some suggested, work on your delivery and mostly your voice…you sound scared and MCing is all about attitude and just killin’ the mic. The suggestion to put that over a Dilla beat is just nonsense considering he’s one of the best beatmakers EVER. Yes, you can rhyme your words, but your rhymes are elementary/simple. Get creative, rhyme more syllables together…not just “tame, game, brain, maintain”…make sense?

Not trying to rip you, just give you advice. I used to be in a hip hop group back in my college days and did shows all over the Midwest opening up for people like Slum Village, One Be lo and El Da Sensai to name a few. I’m not bragging, I just know what it takes. When I first began I started out the same way just throwing words together making no sense. Keep practicing and you’ll get better. The more you write, the better you’ll get…be creative and work on your voice. MCing is a craft you sharpen, similar to bodybuidling. [/quote]

Fsho man, I know it’s gonna be bad, unlike a lot of people I am able to admit that when I first start picking up a skill that I will suck, and I expect to. Right now I was thinking of keeping the rhyming simple, so that I could focus on the delivery and flo, instead of worrying about rhyming “hippopatamus” with “rock anonymous” or something like that. What do you think? How’d you progress in this thing.[/quote]

Really the only advice I can give you is to keep writing…that’s the only way you’ll get better. Don’t stop. These days you can find instrumentals all over the place. Try to find someone who makes beats in your area and create a good relationship with him where he’ll throw you beats either cheap or for free. I will say, memorizing your rhymes is the best way to work on your delivery (rather than reading). Like Carlito said, why keep it simple? Challenge yourself. Study your favorite MC’s rhymes (literally study them) and pay attention to the way they flow, deliver, and their creative wordplay. Mold your influences into your own unique style…don’t ever bite anyone’s flow. I could go on for days…let me know if you need/want any more advice and feel free to send me more of your shit, I always love hearing people trying to come up and help 'em out.[/quote]

Cool, basically what I"ve been doing, I feel like I have better rhythm and flow when I’m freestyling, that is when I actually reach a stretch of time where I’m not fumbling over myself, it’s just hard to transfer that into writing. But I think I see what yall were saying about my timing and flow, now that I look back it was so off. Gonna rewrite.

25

Hey guys, got something new, watcha think.

26

Rapping’s fun stuff. I got some songs up if you’re interested:

Intergalactic:

Coming Up:

I got more on my channel if you care. Those are all recorded on a shitty webcam. My buddy Cisco and I rap and he produces. He made all of those beats. I’m getting a studio mic and Dres Friday though, so quality should improve a lot.

27

still lacking the “umph” but its better. get some better beats/instrumentals and practice free styling. If you want to make tracks people will be interested in you have to practice using your mouth.

Also I know you probably don’t live in the hood but just rap about silly stuff for practice once and awhile: “that bitch got stacks to bad Whitney say i cant fuck with that”

28

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
Hey guys, got something new, watcha think.

Better. Keep writing, you’ll get there kid. I’ll post some of my old stuff later tonight. You’re on the right track though. How old are you by the way?

29

i suggest you just make a whole bunch of smaller verses everyday…instead of making full length songs…You can get in more practice that way…

anyway heres some songs i made when i was younger(16-17)…im 20 now…I stopped making music at 17…

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=73353&songID=1544393

One thing I wish I would’ve changed back then was be more true to myself…Sometimes i came off as wannabe tough guy…I should’ve just stayed true to myself…music is just about expressing who are…your true self…don’t try and impress anybody with your lyrics…

Also heres a production tip…record another track under your vocals of just the ending rhyming words or any phrase you want to emphaize…pretty much every rapper does it…eminem used to layer his entire verses to sound more fuller…just don’t mess up on the timing or it will sound off(you can hear me mess up in my track a couple times since i was lazy)…

30

[quote]D Public wrote:
i suggest you just make a whole bunch of smaller verses everyday…instead of making full length songs…You can get in more practice that way…

anyway heres some songs i made when i was younger(16-17)…im 20 now…I stopped making music at 17…

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=73353&songID=1544393

One thing I wish I would’ve changed back then was be more true to myself…Sometimes i came off as wannabe tough guy…I should’ve just stayed true to myself…music is just about expressing who are…your true self…don’t try and impress anybody with your lyrics…

Also heres a production tip…record another track under your vocals of just the ending rhyming words or any phrase you want to emphaize…pretty much every rapper does it…eminem used to layer his entire verses to sound more fuller…just don’t mess up on the timing or it will sound off(you can hear me mess up in my track a couple times since i was lazy)…

[/quote]

Definitely…pretty good advice there too.

D Public, not bad rhymes at all man.

31

[quote]D Public wrote:
i suggest you just make a whole bunch of smaller verses everyday…instead of making full length songs…You can get in more practice that way…

anyway heres some songs i made when i was younger(16-17)…im 20 now…I stopped making music at 17…

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=73353&songID=1544393

One thing I wish I would’ve changed back then was be more true to myself…Sometimes i came off as wannabe tough guy…I should’ve just stayed true to myself…music is just about expressing who are…your true self…don’t try and impress anybody with your lyrics…

Also heres a production tip…record another track under your vocals of just the ending rhyming words or any phrase you want to emphaize…pretty much every rapper does it…eminem used to layer his entire verses to sound more fuller…just don’t mess up on the timing or it will sound off(you can hear me mess up in my track a couple times since i was lazy)…

[/quote]

Yeah man I know about that trick, I’m a bit of a purist so I put the emphasis on the rhymes and I’m not into rapping about fake shit.

32

[quote]Artem wrote:
Rapping’s fun stuff. I got some songs up if you’re interested:

Intergalactic:

Coming Up:

I got more on my channel if you care. Those are all recorded on a shitty webcam. My buddy Cisco and I rap and he produces. He made all of those beats. I’m getting a studio mic and Dres Friday though, so quality should improve a lot.[/quote]

Yeah i’m rappin on webcam too, when I get back home I’ll be able to have access to a studio mic.

33

[quote]jlutz3 wrote:

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
Hey guys, got something new, watcha think.

Better. Keep writing, you’ll get there kid. I’ll post some of my old stuff later tonight. You’re on the right track though. How old are you by the way?[/quote]

I’m 19, basically this is what I"m doing right now. Practicing freestyling at least once a day, usually 10-30 minutes of practice at least, depending on how good I’m grooving. I’ve gotten better, when I started it was hard to get the words out of my mouth, now I can usually keep the flow going for a verse. I feel I stay on rhythm and delivery better then. Then I have a notebook that I take to my classes or around, if I think of something good I’ll write it down, trying to write down at least a few times a day in there. Only lately have I been in the mood to try and write something long at once. Something I do sometimes is write down random words and use rhyming dictionaries to write some random lines, as many as I can using that rhyme.

34

[quote]That One Guy wrote:

[quote]jlutz3 wrote:

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
Hey guys, got something new, watcha think.

Better. Keep writing, you’ll get there kid. I’ll post some of my old stuff later tonight. You’re on the right track though. How old are you by the way?[/quote]

I’m 19, basically this is what I"m doing right now. Practicing freestyling at least once a day, usually 10-30 minutes of practice at least, depending on how good I’m grooving. I’ve gotten better, when I started it was hard to get the words out of my mouth, now I can usually keep the flow going for a verse. I feel I stay on rhythm and delivery better then. Then I have a notebook that I take to my classes or around, if I think of something good I’ll write it down, trying to write down at least a few times a day in there. Only lately have I been in the mood to try and write something long at once. Something I do sometimes is write down random words and use rhyming dictionaries to write some random lines, as many as I can using that rhyme.[/quote]
I wouldn’t use rhyming dictionaries, or too much at least. Doing it all from your mind might take longer, but it will usually sound better. You can make shit rhyme that doesn’t technically rhyme and it will sound good. Pay attention to some songs, lots of people do it.

hello it’s the martian
space jam jordans
and if I had one guess, then I guess I’m just New Orleans

Maritan, Jordans, and Orleans all don’t technically rhyme; you won’t find them on the same page on a rhyming dictionary. But Wayne makes them and it sounds fucking great. That’s just an example, but I think it’s obvious what I mean.

edit:
Also, a rhyming dictionary won’t have any pop culture references. most names, most places, and shit like MILF

35

[quote]That One Guy wrote:

[quote]jlutz3 wrote:

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
Hey guys, got something new, watcha think.

Better. Keep writing, you’ll get there kid. I’ll post some of my old stuff later tonight. You’re on the right track though. How old are you by the way?[/quote]

I’m 19, basically this is what I"m doing right now. Practicing freestyling at least once a day, usually 10-30 minutes of practice at least, depending on how good I’m grooving. I’ve gotten better, when I started it was hard to get the words out of my mouth, now I can usually keep the flow going for a verse. I feel I stay on rhythm and delivery better then. Then I have a notebook that I take to my classes or around, if I think of something good I’ll write it down, trying to write down at least a few times a day in there. Only lately have I been in the mood to try and write something long at once. Something I do sometimes is write down random words and use rhyming dictionaries to write some random lines, as many as I can using that rhyme.[/quote]
-Sorry for two consecutive posts, but this forum takes forever to update or whatever.

Anyways, I’m not an authority on this shit by any means and what you’re doing might work for you, but I wouldn’t exactly schedule and time freestyling practice. I pretty much freestyle everywhere just because it’s fun. Driving around you can freestyle; it’s the best. Shit, anywhere. I sometimes need to consciously stop because I’ll keep thinking up shit while I’m trying to fall asleep and it keeps me up.

I also love rapping because you see yourself progress. Same reason lots of you love lifting. I can look back on older songs and see what kind of shit was on my mind. Also see yourself improve skill-wise. If you’ve got a producer, you see your beats and production quality improve. Shit I’m excited for Friday. We’re getting a studio mic and Dres and some producer shit for my buddy. I’m pretty sure I already said that, but anyways…
Yeah, gonna record like 6 new songs that day. Already got all the beats and lyrics.

36

Yeah dude I know about slant rhymes and I just meant that I make sure that I at least practice that much, it’s not a schedule lol. Thanks though.

37

Oh and thanks yall for not ripping into me like spetznaz on my shit lol. If yall want, yall should post any raps, new or old, that you have or have been working on in this thread.

38

Oh and this is a badass documentary, seen it a couple times.

39

Went to Guitar Center yesterday to get a new Mic and got the most ridiculous deal. After talking to them for like 20 minutes, they gave me a $1200. mic for like $200. Something about it being a floor model and them not being able to buy any more. It’s a ridiculous mic; everything sounds amazing. And I’m upgrading from recording on a webcam. Gonna drop some new songs tonight.

40

[quote]Artem wrote:
Went to Guitar Center yesterday to get a new Mic and got the most ridiculous deal. After talking to them for like 20 minutes, they gave me a $1200. mic for like $200. Something about it being a floor model and them not being able to buy any more. It’s a ridiculous mic; everything sounds amazing. And I’m upgrading from recording on a webcam. Gonna drop some new songs tonight.[/quote]

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh… lol