Rockula 2012

I don’t know if you noticed this or not Rock, but I took a cue from the Hunter S. Thompson school of How to Handle Potential Political Opponents in Such a Way That Totally Discredits Them Without Leaving Any Trace of Who Has Caused the Horrific Downturns in Their Psyche and put some Ibogaine in Newt Gingrich’s Jack Daniels this morning. He started fucking weeping in the middle of an interview at the mere mention of his mother, who I traveled back in time and murdered via asphyxiation from a piano wire that mysteriously wrapped itself around her throat.

His breakdowns will only become worse in the coming weeks.

Perhaps we should think about our future Cabinet. I think the obvious choice for Attorney General is PMPM, Orion for Secretary of State, RogueVampire as Press Secretary, AC as Treasury Secretary, Push as Secretary of Defense/Offense (anyone who can single-facedly take on a tree and come out as the victor definitely gets the nod), Hallowed as Secretary of the Interior (because I’d like to get into her Interior), Professor X as Secy of Health and Human Services AND Secy of Labor, The BodyGuard as Secy of Homeland Security and DarkNinja as our Ambassador to the United Nations.

I know I’m forgetting some other Cabinet-level positions, but I can’t think of them right now. Anyone who would like to fill the rest of the positions, please nominate yourself here.

I’ll vote for you if you rename ‘Chicago’ to ‘Chistine’.

And give me lots and lots of money.

And make the killing of cats a capital crime.

[quote]Soulja874 wrote:
You’re a ginger now, a brown ginger, gingers can’t be president.

Aim low, run for Governor of Transylvania. [/quote]

correction, gingers should be put to death, in the most horrific fashion.

[quote]Edgy wrote:

[quote]Soulja874 wrote:
You’re a ginger now, a brown ginger, gingers can’t be president.

Aim low, run for Governor of Transylvania. [/quote]

correction, gingers should be put to death, in the most horrific fashion.[/quote]

From what I have read ‘Gingers’ are often the lineage of Viking plundering. I am confunded.

[quote]Christine wrote:
I’ll vote for you if you rename ‘Chicago’ to ‘Chistine’.

And give me lots and lots of money.

And make the killing of cats a capital crime.[/quote]

I’m not doing any of those things.

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
I don’t know if you noticed this or not Rock, but I took a cue from the Hunter S. Thompson school of How to Handle Potential Political Opponents in Such a Way That Totally Discredits Them Without Leaving Any Trace of Who Has Caused the Horrific Downturns in Their Psyche and put some Ibogaine in Newt Gingrich’s Jack Daniels this morning. He started fucking weeping in the middle of an interview at the mere mention of his mother, who I traveled back in time and murdered via asphyxiation from a piano wire that mysteriously wrapped itself around her throat.

His breakdowns will only become worse in the coming weeks.

Perhaps we should think about our future Cabinet. I think the obvious choice for Attorney General is PMPM, Orion for Secretary of State, RogueVampire as Press Secretary, AC as Treasury Secretary, Push as Secretary of Defense/Offense (anyone who can single-facedly take on a tree and come out as the victor definitely gets the nod), Hallowed as Secretary of the Interior (because I’d like to get into her Interior), Professor X as Secy of Health and Human Services AND Secy of Labor, The BodyGuard as Secy of Homeland Security and DarkNinja as our Ambassador to the United Nations.

I know I’m forgetting some other Cabinet-level positions, but I can’t think of them right now. Anyone who would like to fill the rest of the positions, please nominate yourself here.[/quote]

I had other plans for all those people…

[quote]Otto the Ecto wrote:
BTW I can’t vote for US presidential election since I’m not from the US. But, when you make your move to become supreme ruler of Earth, you got my vote.[/quote]

Wait

US President isn’t the supreme ruler of Earth?

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]Otto the Ecto wrote:
BTW I can’t vote for US presidential election since I’m not from the US. But, when you make your move to become supreme ruler of Earth, you got my vote.[/quote]

Wait

US President isn’t the supreme ruler of Earth?[/quote]

Not technically but it depends mostly on who you ask.

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
From what I have read ‘Gingers’ are often the lineage of Viking plundering. I am confunded.[/quote]

Not tru - Gingers are the reason why us norsemen had to go “Viking” to search out some less evil plunder victims. once the offspring produced more ginger-kids, we went Viking on the next country over.

it was a tedious affair.

in any event, there is no way I could ever vote for a 300lb Sparkly Ginger Vampire for President.

sorry~

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]Christine wrote:
I’ll vote for you if you rename ‘Chicago’ to ‘Chistine’.

And give me lots and lots of money.

And make the killing of cats a capital crime.[/quote]

I’m not doing any of those things.[/quote]

Well, fuck you too then!

I’m going to make bank off my proprietary vampire repellent.

(reading off cue card:)

Mr. Rockula, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?

[quote]Ulty wrote:
(reading off cue card:)

Mr. Rockula, your campaign seems to have the trajectory of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?[/quote]

fixed

Can i be the guy thats gets your coffee?? plzzzzzzz?

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
I don’t know if you noticed this or not Rock, but I took a cue from the Hunter S. Thompson school of How to Handle Potential Political Opponents in Such a Way That Totally Discredits Them Without Leaving Any Trace of Who Has Caused the Horrific Downturns in Their Psyche and put some Ibogaine in Newt Gingrich’s Jack Daniels this morning. He started fucking weeping in the middle of an interview at the mere mention of his mother, who I traveled back in time and murdered via asphyxiation from a piano wire that mysteriously wrapped itself around her throat.

His breakdowns will only become worse in the coming weeks.

Perhaps we should think about our future Cabinet. I think the obvious choice for Attorney General is PMPM, Orion for Secretary of State, RogueVampire as Press Secretary, AC as Treasury Secretary, Push as Secretary of Defense/Offense (anyone who can single-facedly take on a tree and come out as the victor definitely gets the nod), Hallowed as Secretary of the Interior (because I’d like to get into her Interior), Professor X as Secy of Health and Human Services AND Secy of Labor, The BodyGuard as Secy of Homeland Security and DarkNinja as our Ambassador to the United Nations.

I know I’m forgetting some other Cabinet-level positions, but I can’t think of them right now. Anyone who would like to fill the rest of the positions, please nominate yourself here.[/quote]
You, sir, are funny.

Ct. Rockula, how would you change education? Please, someone think about the children!!

[quote]Edgy wrote:
… in any event, there is no way I could ever vote for a 300lb Sparkly Ginger Vampire for President.[/quote]

LMFAO!

[quote]Christine wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]Christine wrote:
I’ll vote for you if you rename ‘Chicago’ to ‘Chistine’.

And give me lots and lots of money.

And make the killing of cats a capital crime.[/quote]

I’m not doing any of those things.[/quote]

Well, fuck you too then!

I’m going to make bank off my proprietary vampire repellent.

[/quote]

Why so hostile?

You didn’t let me finish. I was about to tell you that Michigan, Wisconsin, Indiana, and Indiana will be known as Christine.

Money will be useless as everything will be free. And owners of cats will receive special consideration for positions that will be created at a later date.

[quote]Raw Finn wrote:
Ct. Rockula, how would you change education? Please, someone think about the children!![/quote]

I’m glad you asked this Finn.

What was the question again?

[quote]Ulty wrote:
(reading off cue card:)

Mr. Rockula, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?[/quote]

The female vote.

As a vampire, I’m all the rage right now.

No but seriously, I’m the antichrist.everything I say with my silver tongue goes over.

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]Edgy wrote:
… in any event, there is no way I could ever vote for a 300lb Sparkly Ginger Vampire for President.[/quote]

LMFAO!
[/quote]

Your nonstop laughing is the reason Snap, Crackle, and Pop fired you, isn’t it?

No worries, we will put you in a first class drug rehab to help your with your troubles. We care about out citizens.