Toilets with a little shelf in the back to collect your poop. Why? I don’t know. Most toilets are a bowl so that you poop into a pool of water. This toilet had a freaking shelf directly under your bunghole. The poop collects, in the open air, right there about 3" bellow your manhole. I was told, in the olden days, harmers would collect poop and fertilize the fields. Great back in the Medievel days, but just gross now.
[/quote]
We saw these all over Germany. I was stunned the Germans would be so stupid.
[quote]PGJ wrote:
Varqanir wrote:
What a great thread, Let it never be said that T-Nationers don’t know shit. You people are shit experts. I’m serious. With friends like this, who needs enemas?
Of course, in Indonesia, they don’t get bogged down thinking about technique. Next to the pot, (in loo of toilet paper) they keep a basin of clean water, with which they dip out and wash their posterior regions, using their left hands. For obvious reasons, the left hand is never used to eat with, or to touch people, or to touch the Quran.
Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. You will emerge from the crapper as fresh as a morning breeze.
[/quote]
Haha i’ve actually tried one of these and it was great! We went to a japanease friends house and i specifically went to chuck a shit after i saw that they had one of these babys.
The jet really does clean, its nice and warm, u can adjust the pressure, you can also choose to make it oscillate and countless other options. Also you could heat up the toilet seat to make it warm.
The only thing they need now is something to dry your ass, maybe a blow dryer that pops out and dries it after its been washed?
Anyway by the time i get me own house this will be something i definately invest in!
The only thing they need now is something to dry your ass, maybe a blow dryer that pops out and dries it after its been washed?
[/quote]
They have 'em. I swear to god.
Practically all of the Toto models also come with a “Bidet” button, which adjusts the angle of the water stream. For ladies only, unless any of you gents like a jet of warm water spraying the underside of your nutsack after you shit.
The more expensive models also have a “Move” button, which as the name implies moves the water stream back and forth to cover a wider area. It also works with the “Bidet” button, in case any of you ladies were wondering.
Thanks to its advanced toilet technology, Toto has made Japan the land of the cleanest assholes in the world.
[quote]Dilligaf wrote:
Varqanir wrote:
Realpeanutbutter, it must be said.
You, sir, definitely know your shit.
AMEN
That was one of the most imformative posts i’ve read!
ermm but i’m not sure if i’m understanding this right:
realpeanutbutter wrote:
How the hell do i know (think i know) all this? It’s my sport and I’m good at it. I’ve entered a few “movement comps” and won everything from pride to some type of fancy bicycle from this bike shop in vancouver. I sold it because I’m not big into cycling, hurts my balls. It was apparently very nice because it easily paid for a semester of uni. Also, there are many aspects to the ‘art of movement’ that you can check out. Want to know how to drop the legendary “ghost poopy” or a strong “no-wiper?” It’s much more interesting than your think.
Are you talking about a competition where they examine your shit?!!??
If so: where can i enter!
and links to aspects of the ‘art of movement’ please
[/quote]
Not examine per se but judge. For example I won the bicycle thingy by dropping an unbroken triple coiler in their john. It actually had to have three full circles, one of the most challenging things i have ever done.
The poo challenges are still pretty underground for obvious reasons. Where I entered my first “pooping for quantity” contest was at mma.tv forum. There were three other members in it but it was in 2002 and people change their names all the time on that board.
Maybe we should have a t nation contest of our own.
The other areas are places like the bike shop in van city where the people value a good shit and amazing feats of rectal control. Either next summer or the summer after I will go and drop one in japan where i have to make a design kinda in a squat toilet (hole in floor). I think the prize is a airsoft gun or something. But primarily unless someone host a contest online then it is just a personal sport, much like body building for many.
Not examine per se but judge. For example I won the bicycle thingy by dropping an unbroken triple coiler in their john. It actually had to have three full circles, one of the most challenging things i have ever done.
The poo challenges are still pretty underground for obvious reasons. Where I entered my first “pooping for quantity” contest was at mma.tv forum. There were three other members in it but it was in 2002 and people change their names all the time on that board.
Maybe we should have a t nation contest of our own.
The other areas are places like the bike shop in van city where the people value a good shit and amazing feats of rectal control. Either next summer or the summer after I will go and drop one in japan where i have to make a design kinda in a squat toilet (hole in floor). I think the prize is a airsoft gun or something. But primarily unless someone host a contest online then it is just a personal sport, much like body building for many.
-chris
[/quote]
You have to be careful, though. Once, quite by accident, I left a poo that was quite unmistakably the word “Allah” written in Arabic. Goddamned Hezbollah sent me death threats for weeks.
Who has dared give this thread less than 5 stars!?!?!?!?!?
May they rot in Hell!*
“Hell”, for those that don’t know, is a giant toilet bowl, that has never been flushed, where RealPeanutButter’s shits have been accumulating since he was first potty trained (although some think he never was).
[quote]Spriggs wrote:
I can’t believe I’m writing to advise a guy on how to take a dump… but anyway here goes…
If it is soft, there is obviously too much water relative to the solids content. The primary role of the colon is water re-absorption. So, if you dont go so often (3-4 times/day seems excessive even if bulking), it will allow a longer time for water absorption and thus produce firmer stools.
Incidently, the urge to defecate occurs when the colon is only 1/3 full. So you can hold on for a lot longer than when the feeling first occurs.
… It scares me how much I actully knew on this topic, but I hope it helps…[/quote]
Hence the phrase, “baking a loaf.” Seriously, I thought everyone knew that.
[quote]spartanpower wrote:
Spriggs wrote:
I can’t believe I’m writing to advise a guy on how to take a dump… but anyway here goes…
If it is soft, there is obviously too much water relative to the solids content. The primary role of the colon is water re-absorption. So, if you dont go so often (3-4 times/day seems excessive even if bulking), it will allow a longer time for water absorption and thus produce firmer stools.
Incidently, the urge to defecate occurs when the colon is only 1/3 full. So you can hold on for a lot longer than when the feeling first occurs.
… It scares me how much I actully knew on this topic, but I hope it helps…
Hence the phrase, “baking a loaf.” Seriously, I thought everyone knew that.[/quote]
Watch out for too much baking though, it can result in “spikey shit” and/or “razor poo” especially if you take your supplements while baking. Calcim supplements can induce mild constipation and make you ‘overbake’ which may not be to your liking. Ask a guy who has gone on tour with the military about “the plug.” When the plug comes out, it is not cute… like new puppies, very much unlike new puppies.
This is where stimulating either ADHormone or ANHormone come into play. NUt I got elbowed in teh head and it is time for bed. heh, cool… i rhymed. head, bed… neat. I’m bleeding,
Toilets with a little shelf in the back to collect your poop. Why? I don’t know. Most toilets are a bowl so that you poop into a pool of water. This toilet had a freaking shelf directly under your bunghole. The poop collects, in the open air, right there about 3" bellow your manhole. I was told, in the olden days, harmers would collect poop and fertilize the fields. Great back in the Medievel days, but just gross now.
We saw these all over Germany. I was stunned the Germans would be so stupid.
Great fun to leave a present for the next guy![/quote]
…altough i have a toilet like that, i can only guess as to why it’s like that:
To remind us we’re full of shit.
To minimize water consumption.
To prevent plashing.
…and that’s it. It does remind me of a Bruce Willis movie when he shouted at his therapist: ‘Yes, and i look in the bowl after i’m done!’. Don’t we all?
Of course, in Indonesia, they don’t get bogged down thinking about technique. Next to the pot, (in loo of toilet paper) they keep a basin of clean water, with which they dip out and wash their posterior regions, using their left hands. For obvious reasons, the left hand is never used to eat with, or to touch people, or to touch the Quran.
Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. You will emerge from the crapper as fresh as a morning breeze.
Haha i’ve actually tried one of these and it was great! We went to a japanease friends house and i specifically went to chuck a shit after i saw that they had one of these babys.
The jet really does clean, its nice and warm, u can adjust the pressure, you can also choose to make it oscillate and countless other options. Also you could heat up the toilet seat to make it warm.
The only thing they need now is something to dry your ass, maybe a blow dryer that pops out and dries it after its been washed?
Anyway by the time i get me own house this will be something i definately invest in![/quote]
Just dont use the automatic tampon remover if your a bloke or the tampon inserter can be VERY nasty
The only thing they need now is something to dry your ass, maybe a blow dryer that pops out and dries it after its been washed?
They have 'em. I swear to god.
Practically all of the Toto models also come with a “Bidet” button, which adjusts the angle of the water stream. For ladies only, unless any of you gents like a jet of warm water spraying the underside of your nutsack after you shit.
The more expensive models also have a “Move” button, which as the name implies moves the water stream back and forth to cover a wider area. It also works with the “Bidet” button, in case any of you ladies were wondering.
Thanks to its advanced toilet technology, Toto has made Japan the land of the cleanest assholes in the world.[/quote]
Men, just make sure not to hit the auto tampon remover button, very painful.
[quote]Easy E wrote:
Dilligaf wrote:
Yea i’ve never really been able to picture a girl pushing out a huge crap until my sister did a huge, ugly and rank floater in the toilet and ‘forgot’ to flush…i had nightmares for days
By the way thanks for all the help guys, i thought i would be getting flamed in a big way for this thread but it looks like its a common issue that we all face!
I’m gonna be getting on the Metamucil and baby wipes right away!
By the way I tried someones suggestion of wetting the toilet paper before wiping and although it was a soothing experience i think i wet the bog paper too much, on my second wipe i used to much force and my fingers went through the wet toilet paper and into my (still very dirty) hole… …
i’m looking forward to the baby wipes and hopefuly their stronger
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha…dude, the wording on that first paragraph killed me. i started dying laughing, i got the old people on the treadmill staring now. oh man, thanks.[/quote]
They’re probably thinking, what’s that strappin youngin doing over there? Ethel, go buy me some more Depends!
Oooooohhh yes they do.
Having been married for what seems like the past 150-200 years I’ve “witnessed” firsthand the kind of damage a woman can do in the bathroom.Peeling wallpaper,dripping paint and brain damage to the children all have been caused by whatever she’s done in there.
[/quote]
I had an aquarium in my bathroom, by some odd coincidence all the fish croaked the next morning after a night of beer, wings, and chili cheese fries!
To this day I can’t be within 3 feet of a footlocker–I can strip the paint right offa them bitches.
I used to think that girls just didn’t poop. But, as you get older, you realize that as sweet and pretty as girls are, they can lay some serious cable, too. You just have to block it out of your mind. I’ve been married for almost 10 years and I’ve seen(and smelled) it all.
I have never heard a hot girl squeak a trouser cough out in public, though. So, I am dying to hear of any funny stories. We need a separate bathroom humor thread.
…