If a kid (let’s say below the age of sixteen for standardized reference as some countries have the legal age of purchase set to sixteen) asks you to buy them alcohol, cigarettes or cannabis… Should you? They will get it from someone else regardless, perhaps someone who might expose or offer them harder substances too.
Saying “no” won’t make a difference as to whether they’ll end up acquiring it or not, but saying “no” maintains a firm boundary/indication that you don’t support or condone such behaviour. In the terms of cheating the behaviour you don’t condone is the potential implosion of a relationship, a damaged family etc. In terms of the kids/teens the behaviour you aren’t condoning pertains to activities from youths that may permanently and seriously alter their neurodevelopmental outcome.
My response to both scenarios are rather similar in the way I go about handling the aftermath. Depending on my relationship with the girls partner, perhaps I’d inform the boyfriend of the incident. However typically I’d let it go unchecked as there are far too many consequences that can result from getting involved with drama like this.
For the kids I won’t tell the parents. Too many potential downstream ramifications associated, I’m not here to potentially ruin someone’s life over this. Some authoritarian parents I know have threatened (or actually have) called the cops over cannabis use, shut their child in the house for months on end, subjected them to daily or weekly urine testing etc leading to enormous resentment, self harm/suicide attempts, further, more serious rebellion and the likes.
If this is correct, zoomers might end up being worse.
“Dad, some kid is picking on me at school, what do I do?”
“Hush child, i’m busy! Need to check my Snapchat streaks before I take a picture of my breakfast #avocado. The we can talk.”
“But he kicked sand in my face”
“My god… Cardi B just liked my photo, I have to show your mother!”
I think Criminalization might be a stretch. I think given the prevalence (even if it’s only like 0.2%, though it’s far higher than this) it’d serve to clog up the court systems. Unless one was to subject a cheater to a civil penalty like a fine of 40% of their total income that year… Even then I think it’d be difficult to enforce, people would consistently challenge the fines as people constantly do here with parking tickets and the likes.
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Then you’d have the false accusations, the process of kids watching mom or dad go to jail. Further problematic elements exist with jailtime and the consequences associated with being in jail for a prolonged period of time. Jail systems in the USA/Aus aren’t like Norway wherein nonviolent offenders/felons have access to a facility that mimics conditions seen in the outside world. Jail is a place where month long bouts of solitary confinement are common, gang affiliation is present, a place where hard drug use and violence is rampant.
Once out, an individuals mentality can be forever altered, employment is tough to come by. Many prior prisoners re-offend (except for countries like Norway that have a relatively pragmatic approach towards criminal justice). I think you’d be creating an epidemic of mass incarceration if you’re advocating for prison sentences.
If advocating for civil penalties, I think it’s difficult to enforce. Though I wouldn’t complain if something like this was passed into law. It’d be particularly awesome if the cheater had to pay said fine to the victim. “Sorry you’ve been subjected to such incontrovertible rejection, but as a bonus… You’re getting 20,000$!”. So I have to deal with my fiancee shattering my trust… But I get to go to Paris!
Finally, if advocating for death I don’t think it can be justified. Even on an “eye for an eye” basis, a family in disarray doesn’t equate to a life being taken. You can still grow up, get a job, meet a nice woman and settle down if you’ve grown up with divorced parents. Statistically outcomes are more negative… But even inadvertently turning someone to drugs or dropping out of high school usually doesn’t lead to imminent death.
Towards children or all significant partners? Once again it’d be very difficult to enforce or prove this. There are laws set up for child neglect, and complete lack of care is covered within these laws. If you don’t physically or emotionally abuse your child but you spend no time with them, hardly feed them (or leave them to fend for themselves), don’t ensure they’re in good health (regular physical assessments from doctor etc) I believe you are liable for criminal prosecution and having the child taken away. This in itself is a bit of a catch 22 scenario. On one hand, life with neglectful parents is awful, on the other hand… Orphanages and foster homes aren’t exactly the equivalent of sunshine and rainbows.