Content is a good one. “Mit sich selbst im Reinen sein” would probably be best translated as “to be at peace with yourself”.
Aren’t those things to envy? What I really meant though ist the way you are in peace with yourself. That you can say you are satisfied. That is what I really envy. Not the things you have but more so your perspective.
I genuinely cannot wait until my ego and body are so beat down that I can just walk as exercise and feel satisfied. Everyone talks about being “that 60 year old guy that is still training hard,” but goddamn that sounds horrible. You spend all your youth lifting just to die and have it all stripped from you, why spend your last years doing it too? Joining the forum was he best thing that happened to me because when I talk to other people about being this way they always get all “you don’t enjoy the process/you don’t want to lift when you’re old/how can you not love training” on me and I got to where I couldn’t stand it. Super glad I found guys like you and flip that get it. Keep being rad dude.
I think there are plenty of people who ‘get it’, just a lot of people out there that really do enjoy the process. I love lifting but I rarely do it anymore. I fuckin despise running but that is what I need to do right now for my goals.
I find myself relating to Pwnisher quite often when he posts things, and I understand that people do see things differently, but I’ll be fucked before I do something for years on end that I really don’t enjoy and is potentially making my twilight years more difficult.
I remain active now so that I can continue to feel awesome as I age. This is my number one long term goal. To be mobile and strong throughout my entire life (however short or long it may be). Pwn on the other hand is happy to work his body into the ground for his own reasons. I can’t relate to that specifically but I can accept it.
But I also am more than willing to take a grenade or bullet in War for my country at a young age so work that out…
I think this highlights where some of my mentality comes from; I don’t believe in any guarantee of a long life. As you’ve noted here; there is a potential you could die young in a war. We just had some kid get hit by a vehicle and pass away, leaving behind an 8 month pregnant wife. Almost none of my family has passed from natural causes, but instead various illnesses or tragedy. It just seems too risky to me to live my current life banking on the idea that I’ll get to live to be 80 or 90.
And I know people don’t like to think about that and we wanna believe that those things happen to other people and never to us, but I just don’t see it to be a safe assumption. And I feel the ultimate tragedy would be to live a cautious, reserved moderate life in the hopes that it’ll keep you able and mobile in your old age only to get hit by a bus at 45.
Then they do not “get it” in the sense I am speaking about. If your interpretation of what I was saying was that I believe we are elitists and only true hardcore guys hate training, I apologize. If you and many others enjoy training, that’s awesome. I wish I did more sometimes honestly, but I do not. My idea when I said “get it” was that they understood hating the process but loving the result and would never talk shit to someone who was the opposite, but got it when people said the same. Again, I apologize for the confusion.
I totally “get” where you guys are coming from. I don’t label myself a lifter first, my priorities lie in surfing, being a great waterman, and hunting. But like @T3hPwnisher said, I do enjoy being big and strong. But lifting most days is like a job. I don’t want to do it but I do it anyway. In fact if I wasn’t so big I would most definitely be a much better surfer.
I can’t even decipher why I do the things that I do most of the time. I enjoy suffering maybe? I enjoy getting primal.
Not something I talk about much but I was in the military and being in Afghanistan was some of the most “peaceful?” times of my life. Granted there were definitely stressors to deal with everyday, but I really enjoyed the thought of when I woke up was all that I had to do that day was survive. I just wanted to be a warrior. To this day if I called up and asked if I wanted to go back I wouldn’t hesitate.
Blockquote
The last thing I was ever thinking about in any firefight was about this damned country lolz.
I am fine with giving up lifting whenI can no longer do it. But if I can’t be me on the water or in the woods. I think I would have someone take me out and do one last free dive and deep as I could go.
Ah ok no worries. You were talking about the communication with other lifters and people in general whereas I thought you were implying how people can’t fathom you training your body into the ground for your own reasons. My point was that a lot of people probably can comprehend it but just don’t agree with it (myself included).
No need for apologies mate, it was my dodgy assumption 
This is where you an I share very similar views. I’m very aware of my mortality and I’m happy to discuss it openly. Death is one of the only real certainties and it makes me laugh how people get around the subject.
I have straight out asked a few people “you know you are going to die right?”
They are usually so taken aback and sometimes deny the fact so profusely that I can help but laugh (not ridicule laugh, more disbelief).
Were you and I have differing views I think, is that mid set if we both had a twinge in the back, you would probably push on as you see gains being left. Whereas I have no problem terminating said set and beginning a bit of rehab. I can’t afford to have a major injury IMO.
I could write about it for days but I won’t!
Just quickly, I wrote
This was a bit tongue in cheek. I’m happy to admit I’m a selfish person. I’m loyal as fuck but dying for my country is a bit stretch. Taking a bullet for a brother? Yes in a heartbeat. But dying for my country may be a bit much.
FYI I’m not in the army yet so this all my be idealistic bullshit.
This is turning in to a very deep conversation.
I’m following along here. I wonder where it ends.
This is such a great place here on TN, i’ve read somewhere how awful a place it is, and that everybody just talks trash to everybody, they couldn’t be more wrong.
Anyways we are all going to die sometime, and when it’s close you stop and thinks about it:
About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer, fought it out. Well the Doc, cut the thing away, before it spread out. So no chemo or rays for me luckily.
So I was lucky, but at that time I had to think a bit. Had 2 kids, a wife and suddenly faced the fact: I might die here. Had some very intense moment around those times I can tell you. You really appreciate life, and you just don’t want to go, just not yet.
As times go by i don’t think about it anymore. But now and then I stop and remember. Thinking about how lucky I was then, that somebody found it and fixed it.
We used to have some deep conversations in country. One being the meaning of life. After pondering about it for awhile I simply said, “To survive.” Everyone laughed for a bit, after they gave a lot more complicated answers to give this life a sort of substantial meaning. But then it really started to sink in. No one wanted such a simple answer but after discussing it, it started to make the most sense to everyone Biologically and Philosophically.
I’ll get to all these posts, as this is a great convo, but wanna log some training before I lose my head.
AM WORKOUT
(5) Texas deadlift bar touch and go mat pulls
5x135+chains
5x225+chains
3x315+chains
1x405+chains
13+3+3x520+chains
17x425+chains
Standing ab wheel
4x8
DB lateral raise pyramid (no rest between sets)
5x10lbs
5x15
5x20
5x25
5x30
5x25
5x20
5x15
10x10
PM WORKOUT
Axle bench press
5x136
5x186
3x236
3x276
11x306
14x236
Grenade ball pulldowns 90lbs
1x35
Axle curls
1x35
Reverse hyper 180
1x35
Notes: Wife had a half marathon to run this morning, so I cut my workout in half. She ran in the snow, in 10 degrees, for 13.1 miles. Whenever I think I’m crazy, she gives me a gut check.
The mat pulls went better than I expected. The topset was smoother than last week, and since I was running on a condensed timeline with less rest than usual, I thought I’d only manage 15 on the backoff set, but scored 17 with the potential for more if I wanted to fight. Went to laterals rather than full ROM raises because I read a Jamie Lewis article and the bug bit me.
Since I got to bench in the PM, decided to see just what I could do. That set is a prime example of why I tell people NOT to leave a rep in the tank; most folks are so unaware of their limits that they naturally leave a rep in the tank when they think they’re going all out. Looking at the video, rep 9 looks like it coulda been my last one, and rep 10 DEFINITELY looks like a final rep, but rep 11 was in there somewhere. After that, got in some much needed assistance work. Also, I let the video run long to show off my Westside Barbell t-shirt, because in my heart it is still 2008 and I’m a fanboy.
No weigh in this morning. Been having bad GI issues this week. Wife thinks it may be a walnut sensitivity, since I’ve been eating honey Walnut shrimp every Friday these past few weeks. Given my nut sensitivity, it checks out. I’ll dump it and see what happens.
Never fun having sensitive nuts!
Every mans weakspot. Guess it doesnt affect you irish 
This is extremely impressive. I pride myself in mental toughness, but it would take a lot for me to do this. I don’t think a million dollars would even tempt me.
@Irishman92 Regarding the back twinge during training, it would honestly depend. I’m pretty in tune with my body and experienced with injury to the point that, when I feel a twinge, I can typically tell if I have enough lift in me to keep pushing, and just how much damage it’ll do. Some times, it’s worth pushing through, where other times, the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. On my most recent deadlift PR attempt, I felt the twinge on rep 12 of 495, and despite shooting for 14, I knew that, were I to continue, I woulda taken myself out of the fight for longer than it was worth. However, I then rested up, set up for 405 for a set of 20, and let the first rep really determine how I’d go. I hit my goal, and ended up hobbling around for 2 days with some back/glute pain, which was acceptable to me.
@mortdk Really appreciate you sharing that story. Those brushes with morality can have a huge impact, and it sounds like you really learned to appreciate the time you have. Really glad it worked out well for you.
@clintjf Appreciate you sharing that time in your life. It definitely sounds intense, and that it really put things in perspective. Definitely something to be said about the will to live/survive. I’m a big fan of Nietzsche’s premise of the “Will to Power” being the driving force of life. The idea that we all have an inherent drive in us to overcome and impose our will on others, and that this very drive will be our own eventual undoing. Just seemed to resonate with me.
@dchris No joke. My sport is over in 60 seconds; she has to deal with it for 2 hours, haha.
Really appreciate the convos here everyone. If I could make a general appeal, could we keep the one-liner joke posts to a minimum? I’m cool with humor as part of a longer post, but I’ve seen a few training logs recently devolve into just memes and one-liners, and I actually link a fair amount of people to this topic as a reference for overcoming ACL surgery, so it’d be nice to keep it a little more on the serious/focused level.
Thanks all.
PM WORKOUT
Keg sprints, 4 rounds (first 2 rounds wearing 45lb vest)
Run 182lb keg 50’
Run back to start
Run back to keg
Run keg 50’
Run back 50’
Run back to keg
Run keg 50’
Max distance carry 182lbs
152’
NG chins
5x10 (first 2 sets w/45lb vest)
Notes: Snow has prevented me from doing these as often as I’d like, so with today being our first clear day in a while, decided to go all out. Original plan was just 1 round with the vest, but the first round felt so awful my diseased brain said “we should do that again” so that’s what happened. Lower back is seriously pumped. Chins are just there for some extra pulling volume.
Woke up at 197.4.
You incredibly wealthy so-and-so. I’d do it in just a pair of socks for $50k.
I really dig the log by the way. Probably my favorite other than Alpha’s/Brian’s old logs. I’ve been tempted to start one as the waves are starting to get flat and training is about to ramp back up. Would be really cool to be held accountable for training my triceps, as I absolutely hate training my arms even though they are starting to become the limiting factor.
Been battling a lot of sciatica issues in my right leg in about the past year or so. I got hurt in Afghan and it really messed up my hips and left ankle. That left ankle I think was the reason I really started encountering so many problems. It was way less mobile than the other causing me shift over and favor my right hip in the the hole of the squat and eventually a 225 back off set was the straw that broke the camels back. And caused me to be messed up for the better part of a year.
That really means a lot to be held in such high regard. Much appreciated dude. Training logs here are pretty awesome. Supportive community and lots of different perspectives.
AM WORKOUT
Log viper and press away
5xLog
3x155
3x180
11x200
3x225 (viper and press away for 2, push press for 1)
18x155
(13) Chain suspended buffalo bar squat
5xBar
5x140
5x190
5x230
3x280
1x330
1x380
10x450
Axle rows 206
8x8
Dips
3x50
Buffalo bar squats 230
1x15
Notes: This was a great day. That viper press of 225 is competition weight, and it went up pretty smooth. I still have another 6 weeks to really dial it in. I wanna make that weight become second nature so that I have more time and energy to spend on the dumbbell. Took video and will post it later.
Threw in the backoff set of squats just to get in more full ROM work. My right knee seems to be getting pretty upset, and my left knee is beat up, so I think I need to spend more time moving through the ROM.
No weigh in this morning. Honestly just getting sick of doing it on training days.
That doesn’t sound too bad until you realise Pwnisher is one of the 5% of the world that uses Fahrenheit and he actually means -12 degrees 
I just scrolled down and read this after writing the above, so I guess I better try and include some substance in my post now.
Also building off your post re: leaving reps in the tank, is the only way to really know how you can push and what truly having nothing left in the tank feels like to just… do it? Your injury prevention attitude is obviously different to a lot of others’ but you do mention being “out for longer than is worth it”; clearly you have some sense of caution and aren’t just suicidally lifting as much as possible.