To: idaho
Thanks for writing this. I was trying to figure out how to structure this message, realizing it was an old and maybe “dead” thread, and then I got to your post.
To OP:
If you are still around/lurking:
If MMA/martial arts is the thing that makes you feel passion/gives you enough motivation to start un-fucking your position than I would not quit it. I would however recognize that making the big changes you are planning takes serious commitment and CONSISTANCY. Martial arts training is a study in both of those.
idaho has really given you the “Big Things” list here. Certainly doing big things well is important. I am going to make a few points about “little things”. Individually these don’t make the whole game. Fucking these up don’t mean all your work is for not, but they make it harder.
1.) You really need a GED/grad equivelent. Getting this is a “big” category, but the studying is a day in/day out grind. Just like training. Find the time to do both. This is important.
2.) Quitting a job is different than quitting a career. The term “gainful employment” may not really apply to whatever work you can find until you achieve number 1. Finding some way to put enough money in your pocket to fund training and GED classes/testing is going to be necessary. You don’t have to like this work. That is why they have to pay you to do it. You will literally be selling your time for enough money to fund your two main drives, training and education. Get the job. Be dependable. Get paid. Day to day this is a little thing, but it is important.
3.) If you have a girlfriend, it probably wouldn’t be a great idea to get her pregnant right now. If you don’t have a girlfriend, knocking up “not your girlfriend” would is not advised.
4.) You need to avoid any futur legal issues. Even for things that “aren’t a big deal”. IF you are 20, now would be a very bad time to catch an underage drinking charge/summery offense. Someone without your history might be able to handle a simple possession charge. You are in a less robust situation.
Points:
The idea of continued improvement is a foundation of martial training. This is one of the “goods” that can bleed over into other aspects of your life. Your sucesses and failures will be a combination of many factors, but of the the things you can control both big and seemingly small things will matter. You seem resolved to make good choices from this point forward. Do so. If you need help, ask. There is a wealth of collective knowledge on this board both about martial pursuits and life in general. I am fairly certain we could get you sorted out academically at a high school level as well and as idaho wrote “education first”.
Regards,
Robert A
[quote]idaho wrote:
“I ended up being expelled, no qualifications, criminal record all the dumb shit dumb kids with no sort of guidance can get caught up in.”
Ok,
It appears you are looking for guidance now, and, I hope you really are paying attention to everyone who has replied. I have found the Combat Forum to be free of the BS that infects other forums here, and, the members advise people from their experience with no hyperbole. I have found over the years a little quote, that helps me reach difficult decisions:
Face the Facts, Then act…very simple ,but, hard to do.
Your priorities should be, based on your statement above:
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Education: do you have a high school diploma or GED? (Assuming you are in the United States) if not, that is your FIRST priority. without one , you are limiting yourself in everything in life. Once that is acheived, you MUST find some way to obtain the next educational level, whether a “trade” school, community college, or a 4 year university.
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Your criminal record: Assuming you are in the States, unless you have a CONVICTION for a major felony, then you should obtain a lawyer to help expund your record, either through appeals in the state court system, a hearing with the state corrections board, appeals to the Governors office, etc…but, none of that means crap without showing a steady growth of personal responsibility, and, unforunately, your desire to fight willl not even get you a hearing. Once something gets in the criminal justice system, its like trying to cure cancer to get it removed.
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Since we are facing the facts, you chances of becoming a self sufficient professional fighter are about a good as me winning the Powerball lottery, about 1 in a billion. At 20 years old and no experience, training, or fights, the odds are probably even higher.
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I dont know anything about you , other than what you wrote, but, if it was me…I would do everything in my power to get my education, work as many hours as it took, work any crappy job to pay for it, then see if I had time to train. Do you want to be 30 years old, with no way to earn an income but some fast food restaurant?
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Get you GED, try to work on your record, I dont know its a juvenile or adult record, but, that is going to follow you the rest of your life.
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If you had a high school diploma or GED, I would advise you try and find a military recuriter who is sympathetic to your cause, ( or short of his monthly goal) and join up. You could pursue your education , have your personal and financial means met, and, gain valuable training for the civilian world. Get good enough at fighting, maybe you could be accepted into various MMA/Boxing programs that the services offer.
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Education first, everything else, second. Face the facts…best of luck.
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