[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:
[quote]Lift or die wrote:
This is a really long post so I don’t expect most of you to read this but if you did thank you for taking the time to read my perspective.
I am a little late to the party but I will throw my 20 year old Christian virgin perspective in for you on porn and waiting before marriage, Perhaps some of you guys will find it interesting seeing as I am probably in the minority being a christian 20 year old virgin male. I will also add that I am athlete, go to college and have had no shortage of opportunities for casual sex but have turned them down for the reasons below
On porn. Ya I watched porn throughout high school and the first year of college but this year I have abstained for the most part except for a (3 month period) but I am back to abstaining.
Why Abstain?
Reason 1
I felt like porn was draining me and for a temporary orgasm made me feel tired and negative.Instead of talking to a friend or reading a book, texting a girl I was watching porn, it literally offers nothing in the long-term and instead in engaging in activities that would actually benefit my life I would watch porn 1-3 times a week for about 15-30 min average. Now this may not seem like a long time but I hated that fact, that when I tired to stop I couldn’t. At least once a week I would need to watch and masturbate to porn. I was addicted
Reason 2
I never really felt better after I watched porn. When I was finished masturbating to it, often I would just feel tired and unmotivated to do anything. Take away all the other factors that sometimes played into my mind ,not having a girlfriend, porn being sinful, and I simply did not feel as good after watching porn as I did before. To those who watch porn and are reading this thread, try it out, watch porn, masturbate to it and after your orgasm fades ask yourself do I feel better? Has this experience helped me in any measurable way?
Reason 3
I have always been very purpose driven even as a young child so my last point is, could I be doing something that would add more value to my life then watching porn. Could I be outside at the lake, hiking in the forest, snowboarding, doing yoga, listening to music, writing, hanging out with friends, hanging out with a girl(s). Could I be doing things that would provide more relaxation more enjoyment then porn?The answer to me is yes, all these things I do enjoy much more then porn. I would prefer to plan for this activities and spend my energy doing these things, because they give energy back to me through engagement, mastery, and relationship building, not a simple rush that has me feeling worse after the high is over. To me watching porn is not much different then shooting up, the first time is always the best, you need more to get the same effect, you gradually become more and more dependent, and last but not least it adds no long-term value to your life
These are just my three strongest reasons, I have more (feel free to PM me). To further elaborate on my last point and how it ties into my view until waiting until marriage. To quote Greg Plitt When every action has a purpose, every action has a result. I have always been against causal sex because in my mind their is not a strong purpose for it. Casual sex in my mind is nothing more then some short-term pleasure and then that is it, and the consequences of it can been quite great, pregnancy, STD, broken girls. To me it is wasted time and effort into something that doesn’t help me in the long-term. I look at the people around me who engage in A LOT of casual sex and I really do not see them benefiting a lot or leading very successful life’s. This brings me to the benefit of waiting until marriage. I would rather sex not be the key point in my relationships with the opposite sex. I actually want to like the person and respect them before I have sex with them. Basically I want sex to be the reward of at the end of truly getting to know someone. I want my relationship with the woman I decide to marry be more about who we are physically but be about who we are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as well . That way when temptations arise and troubles occur in the relationship there is a foundation of more then just sex to hold it together. I know this doesn’t guarantee success but I feel as if It gives me the best chance at a successful marriage, a good family, and happiness in life in the long-term.
My philosophy is to make a series of decisions that will give us the best opportunity at happiness in the long run. I have experienced the effect of making decisions that benefit me in the long run and it has the gradual effect of enhancing my day to day life . To me it is investing in my future but instead of money it is good habits, and good decisions.
I want the foundation of my life to be discipline. In this development of discipline I want to build the willpower to delay short-term gratification for long-term gratification. Even the things that I do for enjoyment I want to build me up so that everyday I can say to myself I got better. Porn, and casual sex in my mind have no place in the schema
If you have taken time to read this monologue first of all congrats, good work. Secondly, thank you for taking the time to read my perspective. Thirdly I hope you were able to take away something useful.[/quote]
I gotta ask how much porn were you watching that it interfered with going to a lake, a hike, ect? (Reffering to your reason 3) You didn’t just watch a bit night to wind down since it made you relaxed? Just curious[/quote]
No it wasn’t that much it was more just to wind down to relax. What I am saying is I could be relaxing doing activities such as going to lake and hike and the wouldn’t make me feel tired and lethargic. Lake and Hiking=healthy relaxation activities porn=unhealthy relaxation (drains my energy). I want engage in the higher valuer activities (Lake,Hiking) that give me the maximum benefit for my time and get rid of the lower value activities (Porn).
