Porn Addiction

Off Topic
381

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]sen say wrote:

[quote]therajraj wrote:
An older married guy once told me that grabbing your wife’s ass eventually feels no different than grabbing your own ass.

[/quote]
I hope someone else has already bitch-slapped you for making this ridiculous statement, but if not:

I have been married to She Say for almost 19 years…the idea that grabbing her ass would inspire anything but passion is insane…I know that popular idiot culture likes to promulgate older married men lose interest sexually in their wives, but it doesn’ mean it’s 100% true. I have friends that complain they’ve lost interest in their wives, but these are the guys spending 12 hours on Sunday watching football, spending 6 hours on Wednesdays playing poker with ‘their boys’ and taking golf vacations with ‘their boys’…no wonder they’ve lost interest in their wives as I can’t imagine their wives are very interested in them.

It’s really up to you whether or not you let longevity ruin a relationship. Don’t buy into your older friend’s comment. [/quote]
Thank you Sen very well said.

I am going on 14 years and when I grab the wife’s ass I am in the mood for mounting.

I also work out with the wife daily, go enjoy time with friends with the wife, I very rarely go out much without her. Reason I married her, I enjoy her company. Seems very simple[/quote]

I think a key point that many, many people nowadays fail to understand is that sex is not the only appraising factor involved in a relationship. I enjoy the time I spend with my wife no matter what we are doing. I like talking to her. I like having someone who listens to me spout off about every little thing. She is my best friend. She is my business partner. We share the same goals and are working toward them together. We are sharing the unspeakably wonderful blessing of raising two awesome little boys. And let me tell you, having kids will completely reorganize your sense of value and purpose and priority in a way that is just miraculous. My wife and I are creative and productive and happy with our lives and the sex is good and stays good because of all this other stuff.

If you think getting married just about finding a hot enough chick to bang for the rest of your life no wonder the idea doesn’t appeal to you.

I think there are very, very few lifetime bachelors who could ever hope to know the happiness and satisfaction I feel with my life. That’s not me bragging. It just is what it is. [/quote]

X2!!

I didn’t burden myself with reading through most of this thread, but I quite agree with much of what you posted (that I have read), Cortes.

Additionally (if it hasn’t been stated before), there seems to be an unlimited source of porn available these days, and is there any coincidence that a large percentage of marriages end in divorce, ED rates are at an all-time high, and even young men are finding the need for Viagra?

I’m 50 and have NO problem getting erections anytime. And although I occasionally enjoy viewing artful female nude pics, nothing turns me on more than my lovely wife.

EDIT: How the hell did this end up in italics?
[/quote]
Cortes typed b instead of i

Cortes I agree 100% and ID it would seem (at least here) that we are in a minority in regards to marriage. [/quote]

:slight_smile:

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[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

I’m curious now, though, that you’ve posted those pictures as possible example of “porn,” what kind of porn are you abstaining from, and how much time was it consuming?

[/quote]

That’s a great question and one I’m trying to work out myself. I think we all can agree watching a couple fucking is pornography. But, going by Merriam-Webster, the shots I posted above are pornography as well, albeit with other redeeming features.

Pornography:

1 the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement

2 material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement

3 the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction

I find the last definition interesting, because I’d typically surf porn in the middle of the day when my work was slow. I’ve found that I’m substituting cars, guns, architecture, and design for naked women and receiving the same “quick intense emotional reaction” as I did when I would watch 2 girls sucking face. Obviously, I’m not jerking off to an image of a Lamborghini Gallardo, because that would just be weird. And I like the Ferrari 599 better.

So, here’s my working hypothesis: I’m a trader and through the course of my morning, I’m receiving many rewards in the form of profitable trades. Each time, the pathway from my ventral tegmental area to the nucleus accumbens lights up as it’s bathed in dopamine. This pathway is the main reward center in the brain. As my day goes on, and European markets close, there are less opportunities to trade and therefore less opportunities to get the little thrill of pleasure that comes with a winning trade. I think porn, or cars, guns, design, architecture, et al fill that role until noon when the markets pick up again.

I think this is just one role that porn (of any sort, even car porn) plays in my life. It’s obviously separate and distinct from more uh…goal-oriented porn, and porn that I watch with my GF. Same porn, much different roles.[/quote]

I am kind of getting the impression that what you are abstaining from is probably not the intense, hyperstimulating form of pornography we are suggesting is the cause of desensitization and depersonalization issues due to addictive abuse.

If you don’t mind, could you specify just a bit more?

Is it still images, or video? If video, is it a tube site with multiple tabs open, or do you stick to a single scene, movie, or dvd? Something else?

As far as the content. One nude female? Female and male? Female/female? 3 or more people? Are they engaged in pretty much conventional sex that you would expect to engage in with a “normal” girl? Or does it involve more kinky elements that veer off further and further into fetishistic and sub-culture territory?

And are these full on pants down dick-in-your-hands pump sessions, or are you just looking and being stimulated enough without feeling you need to actually masturbate.

If you don’t feel like going into this much detail I certainly do understand, haha. But I do think these are important distinctions to draw.

383

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I’m 50 and have NO problem getting erections anytime. And although I occasionally enjoy viewing artful female nude pics, nothing turns me on more than my lovely wife.
[/quote]

Fantastic info right there. You are the man. Thanks for sharing.

I think face fucking, anal DPs, and bukkakes are artful. There is nothing inherently bad about these acts. More people get offended by them than some boring b&w pictures, but that is an unimportant fact.

Sadly this thread never turned towards the interesting bit about if / why the “bad” porn would be harmful when consumed in moderation. The fact that some losers get addicted to jacking off to porn and fucking up their lives in the process is uninteresting. To say that watching porn is addictive for some because there are porn junkies is also trivial.

As far as I have seen nobody has offered any particular argument (or supporting empirical facts) why it’s bad except some hand-waving pseudo arguments (basically saying it can’t be good somehow for the kids and adults because it’s bad porn). So I agree with this other poster that the strength of Cortes&co’s line of reasoning is as convincing as that for kid’s watching violence in movies and video games, being inherently bad. Maybe it is, maybe it is not. Someone’s gut feelings or past addiction story isn’t convincing me.

Thinking about it, maybe we tie it to the gun control debate haha. Never understood why you could see blood and gore on US daytime TV, while tits and swear words are blocked out. Here in Germany it’s exactly the opposite.

Now, where is that amputee porn vid that Matt was talking about…

384

[quote]therajraj wrote:
Older married men lose interest sexually in their wives, but it doesn’ mean it’s 100% true. [/quote]

Through your choice of phrasing it’s almost as if you’re barely convinced yourself of what you wrote.[/quote]

  1. Yeah right
  2. I’m not going back to see where you pulled my quote from, but you’re taking it out of context. What I was trying to say was that popular culture would have you believe older men lose interest in their wives,etc…I’m telling you it doesn’t have to be true.
385

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
I also work out with the wife daily, go enjoy time with friends with the wife, I very rarely go out much without her. Reason I married her, I enjoy her company. Seems very simple[/quote]

Yeah…I don’t get the confusion…why marry someone you don’t want to be around?

386

[quote]sen say wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
I also work out with the wife daily, go enjoy time with friends with the wife, I very rarely go out much without her. Reason I married her, I enjoy her company. Seems very simple[/quote]

Yeah…I don’t get the confusion…why marry someone you don’t want to be around?

[/quote]
Or doesnt have an equal or greater sex drive or likes the same kinky shit you enjoy?

What the fuck was dating about then?

387

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[/quote]
Or doesnt have an equal or greater sex drive or likes the same kinky shit you enjoy?

What the fuck was dating about then?[/quote]

Oh lord…can’t wait to see how they respond to this one…

388

[quote]sen say wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[/quote]
Or doesnt have an equal or greater sex drive or likes the same kinky shit you enjoy?

What the fuck was dating about then?[/quote]

Oh lord…can’t wait to see how they respond to this one…[/quote]

:slight_smile: That was on purpose.

Most young men will just want to get their dick wet and I did my fare share, however the actually fucking dating part. Like dinner and movies and shit is to see if you are compatible.

389

Meh, with some girls I like the dating part of dating. Sometimes I get friendzoned for that.

I guess I just always looked at it as the fact that the sex can always be improved, but you can’t really change personality and compatibility.

390

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

I am going on 14 years and when I grab the wife’s ass I am in the mood for mounting.

I also work out with the wife daily, go enjoy time with friends with the wife, I very rarely go out much without her. Reason I married her, I enjoy her company. Seems very simple[/quote]

I love this.

I feel the same way about my boyfriend, and am under the impression that he feels that way about me, too. Sex is fantastic (omg, I like it so much) but so are long car rides and snuggling in front of a fire or movie, cooking dinner, hiking, sailing, going to boring work things, beer and wings, etc. I just like him through and through.

I also spent an hour on the phone with my ex-husband Tuesday evening, catching up. I certainly don’t hold that up as a success story, but it’s nothing like the train wrecks we always hear about in here. I think I’m probably still his best friend.

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[quote]Cortes wrote:
If you don’t mind, could you specify just a bit more?
[/quote]

I think you need to buy me a drink first.

394

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:
If you don’t mind, could you specify just a bit more?
[/quote]

I think you need to buy me a drink first.
[/quote]

Heh, specify sloooowly…

395

[quote]imhungry wrote:
[/quote]

Now, that’s some kinky shit.

396

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]justrob wrote:
But it’s a pretty slippery slope from one to the other - at least for those like me with addictive personalities.
[/quote]

I think the problem with most discussion of addiction is that it is often missing the second part of your statement. We talk about addiction problems in terms of the object of the addiction and not in terms of the person who suffers from it. I think this places the burden of the addiction on the object which doesn’t make sense because most of us manage just fine in moderation–at least when it comes to non physical dependencies like porn, gambling and alcohol.

Porn presents some issues for sure but it is not the cause of addiction–an addictive person is.
[/quote]

From what I’ve read recently, the trend seems to be this way of thinking among “the experts,” even with “physical” addictions to some extent.[/quote]

This is very true. Not that long ago, I was reading ‘The Addicted Brain’ by Michael Kuhar, and some related material in a few wellness letters (which amount to recaps of interesting recent journal publications designed for lay readers).

I’m over-simplifying a little bit, but in essence, everything that is pleasurable will trigger the same cascade of brain chemicals & associations that you will find with addictive drug consumption. That includes everything from gambling, to winning a game (or argument), to getting praise from someone, to eating tasty food. And yes, this includes porn. If it stimulates you in a pleasurable manner, it has the potential to create feedback patterns in the brain that will unconsciously modify behavior.

Some drugs, such as heroin, more directly trigger additional changes in (for example) the endocrine system, but the point of the book is that the foundation of addiction generally begin long before physical addiction in the classical sense ever sets in.

In many ways, this exists in all people, with all forms of stimulus that cause any form of pleasure or even excitement. This is why you get in the mood to repeat something because it was fun.

Sometimes, repetition of exciting stimulus can become obsession/classical addiction. But it’s worth noting that right now, evidence points towards any form of repetition of pleasure to be just a less dramatic manifestation of what becomes addiction in other people.

397

[quote]infinite_shore wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I’m 50 and have NO problem getting erections anytime. And although I occasionally enjoy viewing artful female nude pics, nothing turns me on more than my lovely wife.
[/quote]

Fantastic info right there. You are the man. Thanks for sharing.

I think face fucking, anal DPs, and bukkakes are artful. There is nothing inherently bad about these acts. More people get offended by them than some boring b&w pictures, but that is an unimportant fact.

Sadly this thread never turned towards the interesting bit about if / why the “bad” porn would be harmful when consumed in moderation. The fact that some losers get addicted to jacking off to porn and fucking up their lives in the process is uninteresting. To say that watching porn is addictive for some because there are porn junkies is also trivial.

As far as I have seen nobody has offered any particular argument (or supporting empirical facts) why it’s bad except some hand-waving pseudo arguments (basically saying it can’t be good somehow for the kids and adults because it’s bad porn). So I agree with this other poster that the strength of Cortes&co’s line of reasoning is as convincing as that for kid’s watching violence in movies and video games, being inherently bad. Maybe it is, maybe it is not. Someone’s gut feelings or past addiction story isn’t convincing me.
[/quote]

I asked this in a previous post, and I’ll ask again…did you review any of the scientific information in any of the book references provided, or any of the scientific information on the yourbrainonporn.com website?

People keep talking about how the science isn’t valid, or how they can poke 20 holes in the various studies presented, but still nobody has said WHY the science isn’t valid.

398

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:
[/quote]

Now, that’s some kinky shit. [/quote]

Yeah… It turned me on, too.

399

[quote]Elegua360 wrote:

I asked this in a previous post, and I’ll ask again…did you review any of the scientific information in any of the book references provided, or any of the scientific information on the yourbrainonporn.com website?

[/quote]

I tried, but I got so horny just seeing porn in a url I had to stop and whack it.

400

[quote]Elegua360 wrote:
I asked this in a previous post, and I’ll ask again…did you review any of the scientific information in any of the book references provided, or any of the scientific information on the yourbrainonporn.com website?

People keep talking about how the science isn’t valid, or how they can poke 20 holes in the various studies presented, but still nobody has said WHY the science isn’t valid. [/quote]

I didn’t say (think) the things they present are wrong, but as far as I can see it, they deal with porn ADDICTION / excessive consumption of porn and hence do not apply to low/moderate/normal use.

I understand that most of the posts in here ARE about porn addiction/excessive use (hence the title of the thread ha), but at some point some posters implied that watching crazy porn is somehow “bad” for you even when used normally. I disagree and demanded some evidence. No one provided them and I don’t think I will find any in those sources you mentioned.