[quote]bigpicture11 wrote:
I don’t scrounge of them/her I’m not wealthy but I can provide for myself. I am double majoring in Nutrition and Business Management and I have a car. Even though her father is strict he is a really nice guy and I know that he likes me and he knows that I will do anything for his daughter. I actually lived with them for 3 months last year and everything went smoothly.
We get along even though our economic statuses are different, he isn’t a douche bag when it comes to being wealthy, if you met him you would have no idea he had money. The same goes for his daughter (my GF) when I first met her I had no idea that they had money or how much they had (I’m guessing millions as they are currently looking at buying a vacation home in St. Thomas). He drives a 15yr old car even though he could buy a new one as he did for his daughter (an audi A5). [/quote]
I know how rare it is to find a nice girl, so if you’re really serious about it, concentrate on landing a good job and saving up for a ring. You might be scared of what’s going to happen when you both graduate, but it’s a time for testing the relationship. Don’t ask her to marry you just because you’re afraid of the unknown. What’s the need for an immediate proposal/long engagement and continuing the relationship as is with a short engagement later? If you take the latter path, you’ll have more time to develop your relationship with her and her family. If it’s meant to be, your relationship will last.[/quote]
Pretty much all this. She sounds like a nice girl… who is used to being provided with a nice life. Concentrate on getting a good job and save up to buy her a decent ring. No ring = not really engaged
As a dude, you’re giving up a lot financially to get married. I’m not married because A. Commitment is scary and I’m bat shit crazy. B. I’m bat shit crazy and I’d likely fuck up someone’s credit score C. I’m bat shit crazy, ambitious AND dishonest, so it’s useful to have someone who’s credit score and bank account have no connection to you.
[/quote]
I fixed her post.
IS ANYONE REALLY SURE THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED NOW??
[quote]bigpicture11 wrote:
we don’t want to be 60 years old with a 15yr old child. I understand that people live longer and have children later but I would prefer to have children when I am a little younger so I can have the energy to keep up with them.
My mother had her last child (i have 2 siblings) when she was 46. She is now 59 and she is exhausted. My father is 62 and is now in poor health. My little brother doesn’t feel like he can talk to her or my father and he is made fun of b/c people think that his mom is his grandma. Why would I want to put my children through that? It would be even worse with a daughter IMO I don’t see most 14yr old girls listening to 60yr old mothers and I really don’t know anyone who would want to deal with worrying about raising a teenager at the age of 60+. Also at that age I want to enjoy my life and be retired not worrying about how I’m going to pay for my kids college and things like that.[/quote]
First of all; fuck you! LOL I’m almost 46 with an 8 month old & a 3 yr old. My wife is the same age as me.
You do make good points about energy and wanting to enjoy retirement at 60. Those are things I worry about. I don’t agree about not being able to talk too and relate about things. That is always a challenge for parents and children to overcome regardless of age. There are advantages to being older. I am very much a hot head and I can’t imagine I could have been as good a parent in my 20’s as I could be over 35. The financial security (knock on wood) is a big thing, too.[/quote]
I’m a 45 year old father to a soon to be 5 year old. I am a quantum leap better parent now than I was at 25…not that I was bad then…my heart was certainly always in the right place. There’s a lot of shit you’re trying to do and deal with when you’re younger…as you get older and get to where you need to be, you have more time and wisdom for children.
Question… The divorce rate is about 50%, right? Of the 50% that stay together, what percentage of them are truly happy with their marriage? 10%? I know so many couples that are together but are not really happy with each other. they may not be at each others throat, but there definitely aint much of a connection between them.
[quote]Oleena wrote:
I’m planning on putting it under his name so it wouldn’t affect my aid. Also, if either of us ever needed to, there’d be someone to park a shit ton of cash with that a person looking at our bank account wouldn’t be able to see.
[/quote]
You do realize that if you put it under his name and you break up…he now owns it, right?
If his name is on the ownership documents, he owns it. Just sayin. I know, maybe I’m being a cynic and you’ll be together for life. But I’d rather pay more now or have a delayed startup than work for 4 years building a business then lose all rights to it.
I married my wife when we were both 21, I was still in school, but she had graduated in 2.5 years so she was working. We’re going on 2 years pretty soon with pretty much zero regrets. That said, 5 of my friends are in their mid to late 20’s and divorced. Most of them had at least one kid before getting divorced (and usually even before getting married). A lot of their own parents are divorced too.
The point I’m getting at is: Marriage isn’t for everyone, and kids are a pain in the ass.
[quote]forkknifespoon wrote:
I married my wife when we were both 21, I was still in school, but she had graduated in 2.5 years so she was working. We’re going on 2 years pretty soon with pretty much zero regrets. That said, 5 of my friends are in their mid to late 20’s and divorced. Most of them had at least one kid before getting divorced (and usually even before getting married). A lot of their own parents are divorced too.
The point I’m getting at is: Marriage isn’t for everyone, and kids are a pain in the ass.[/quote]
go to bed without dessert and don’t come back until you’ve been married 10 years…then you can give your opinion.
Oh lordy, the responses on this topic are hilarious.
I personally think you’re too young. Even though I always said that “if you’re in love, then you know” - that’s just the female “fairy tell” side of me coming out.
Marriage, unfortunately, isn’t just about being in love, running off and living happily ever after.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years (I’m 25 now & he’s 6 months younger than I am). Looking back, there is no way in hell that I’d get married at 23. Not even now, to be honest. I want to be (and want him to be) financially stable, and in a good position to live a decent life together. I know we’ll be together in the future, we’re the perfect fit - but why rush it?
I’ve graduated college & I’m on to my Masters and trying to start a business, and he’s just now finishing up college and interning at a brokerage firm and bartending on weekends. I want my feet planted firmly on the ground before I go into the stresses of life.
Most of our friends who rushed it (and it sounds like this may be your issue) is so that they could live together without the strict parents “blowing them off”. My parents were SUPER strict growing up, my dad is a father to THREE GIRLS - he used to tell my old boyfriends to come over and check out his gun collection LOL, but if they earn the respect of their child, their child’s significant other and the relationship that they have together - you’d be surprised at how some parents will change/adapt to the situation.
Just weigh your pros & cons - just know that you have plenty of time to propose, be engaged and get married. Good luck!!!
[quote]forkknifespoon wrote:
I married my wife when we were both 21, I was still in school, but she had graduated in 2.5 years so she was working. We’re going on 2 years pretty soon with pretty much zero regrets. That said, 5 of my friends are in their mid to late 20’s and divorced. Most of them had at least one kid before getting divorced (and usually even before getting married). A lot of their own parents are divorced too.
The point I’m getting at is: Marriage isn’t for everyone, and kids are a pain in the ass.[/quote]
go to bed without dessert and don’t come back until you’ve been married 10 years…then you can give your opinion.[/quote]
Ok… So, your perspective as a much older guy in a totally different situation is more valid than my light comment (I didn’t really give an opinion, just a half-hearted observation of the state of young adult marriages) from a position the OP may actually be able to relate to? Get over yourself buddy.
As a dude, you’re giving up a lot financially to get married. I’m not married because A. Commitment is scary and I’m bat shit crazy. B. I’m bat shit crazy and I’d likely fuck up someone’s credit score C. I’m bat shit crazy, ambitious AND dishonest, so it’s useful to have someone who’s credit score and bank account have no connection to you.
[/quote]
I fixed her post.
IS ANYONE REALLY SURE THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED NOW??[/quote]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (no offense, Oleena)
And since no one else said it: Crazy? No. A fucking moron? Yeah, I’ll buy that.
In the last week I joined the group of guys that got fucked over by their ex. Now I’m doing a payday loan to make Christmas happen for the kids.
If you do decide to go through with this, always remember how much you love her right now. Always remember how beautiful she is on your wedding day. And always remember how wonderful the children she will give you are.
It might just keep you from ringing her fucking neck!
[quote]forkknifespoon wrote:
I married my wife when we were both 21, I was still in school, but she had graduated in 2.5 years so she was working. We’re going on 2 years pretty soon with pretty much zero regrets. That said, 5 of my friends are in their mid to late 20’s and divorced. Most of them had at least one kid before getting divorced (and usually even before getting married). A lot of their own parents are divorced too.
The point I’m getting at is: Marriage isn’t for everyone, and kids are a pain in the ass.[/quote]
go to bed without dessert and don’t come back until you’ve been married 10 years…then you can give your opinion.[/quote]
Ok… So, your perspective as a much older guy in a totally different situation is more valid than my light comment (I didn’t really give an opinion, just a half-hearted observation of the state of young adult marriages) from a position the OP may actually be able to relate to? Get over yourself buddy.
And was that a fat joke at the beginning?[/quote]
LOL wow you’re sensitive…you got body issues? my comment was no less light hearted than yours. and watch the “much older”…i can out lift you, out earn you and I still bang 20 somethings if I want…
And yes, wisdom and experience DO give someone a better perspective…that is a fact.
As a dude, you’re giving up a lot financially to get married. I’m not married because A. Commitment is scary and I’m bat shit crazy. B. I’m bat shit crazy and I’d likely fuck up someone’s credit score C. I’m bat shit crazy, ambitious AND dishonest, so it’s useful to have someone who’s credit score and bank account have no connection to you.
[/quote]
I fixed her post.
IS ANYONE REALLY SURE THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED NOW??[/quote]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (no offense, Oleena)
And since no one else said it: Crazy? No. A fucking moron? Yeah, I’ll buy that.
In the last week I joined the group of guys that got fucked over by their ex. Now I’m doing a payday loan to make Christmas happen for the kids.
If you do decide to go through with this, always remember how much you love her right now. Always remember how beautiful she is on your wedding day. And always remember how wonderful the children she will give you are.
It might just keep you from ringing her fucking neck![/quote]
LOL wow you’re sensitive…you got body issues? my comment was no less light hearted than yours. and watch the “much older”…i can out life you, out earn you and I still bang 20 somethings if I want…
And yes, wisdom and experience DO give someone a better perspective…that is a fact.[/quote]
I guess I was just confused, because your post didn’t make a damn bit of sense to me (and you still didn’t explain it- “go to bed without dessert?”. The OP specifically asked for opinions from people who had been in similar situations, and that’s all I was giving. I’m sure you do have a lot more experience than me. Hell, you’re almost exactly twice my age. I would hope that anyone who is twice my age could out earn me considering I’m a full time college student working full time as a social worker on top of that. And I would hope that in 22 years I will out earn you, but shit I probably wont even live to be that old…
Does it make you feel better to know that I have over 30 grand in school loans, but I just bought a new car because I know that in a few years my behavioral neuroscientist of a wife will be making bank?
LOL wow you’re sensitive…you got body issues? my comment was no less light hearted than yours. and watch the “much older”…i can out life you, out earn you and I still bang 20 somethings if I want…
And yes, wisdom and experience DO give someone a better perspective…that is a fact.[/quote]
I guess I was just confused, because your post didn’t make a damn bit of sense to me (and you still didn’t explain it- “go to bed without dessert?”. The OP specifically asked for opinions from people who had been in similar situations, and that’s all I was giving. I’m sure you do have a lot more experience than me. Hell, you’re almost exactly twice my age. I would hope that anyone who is twice my age could out earn me considering I’m a full time college student working full time as a social worker on top of that. And I would hope that in 22 years I will out earn you, but shit I probably wont even live to be that old…
Does it make you feel better to know that I have over 30 grand in school loans, but I just bought a new car because I know that in a few years my behavioral neuroscientist of a wife will be making bank? [/quote]
[quote]Mad HORSE wrote:
Jesus, dude. Take a joke and let it go.
And thanks for commiserating, Deb.[/quote]
I thought I WAS playing along. Is there something wrong with arguing with a stranger on the internet until both parties resort to insults, getting pissed off, driving home and putting a cigarette out on my wife’s arm?
[quote]Mad HORSE wrote:
Jesus, dude. Take a joke and let it go.
And thanks for commiserating, Deb.[/quote]
I thought I WAS playing along. Is there something wrong with arguing with a stranger on the internet until both parties resort to insults, getting pissed off, driving home and putting a cigarette out on my wife’s arm?[/quote]
This is T-Nation. You only win if you don’t get mad.
And you only put cigarettes out on your wife after you take topless pics of her and post them in SAMA.
LOL wow you’re sensitive…you got body issues? my comment was no less light hearted than yours. and watch the “much older”…i can out life you, out earn you and I still bang 20 somethings if I want…
And yes, wisdom and experience DO give someone a better perspective…that is a fact.[/quote]
I guess I was just confused, because your post didn’t make a damn bit of sense to me (and you still didn’t explain it- “go to bed without dessert?”. The OP specifically asked for opinions from people who had been in similar situations, and that’s all I was giving. I’m sure you do have a lot more experience than me. Hell, you’re almost exactly twice my age. I would hope that anyone who is twice my age could out earn me considering I’m a full time college student working full time as a social worker on top of that. And I would hope that in 22 years I will out earn you, but shit I probably wont even live to be that old…
Does it make you feel better to know that I have over 30 grand in school loans, but I just bought a new car because I know that in a few years my behavioral neuroscientist of a wife will be making bank? [/quote]
and how does it make you feel that if you don’t take care of that mental gut of yours, I will be banging that behavioral neuroscientist of yours…banging her til she’s mental listen to madhorse…handle the joke and keep it moving.
listen to madhorse…handle the joke and keep it moving.