Marrying a girl after dating for 1 year = ironic screen name.
My bet is she took your vcard.
But seriously. How can getting married be any different than dating (if you take an exclusive relationship as serious as you should) to someone who hasnt graduated college yet and pays minimal taxes. Why not just continue dating? Are you afraid someones going to steal her from you
You’re too young to get married. AND YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW YOU’RE TOO YOUNG.
If you’re in love, and it’s real, neither of you are going anywhere. There is absolutely no need whatsoever to rush into marriage. None. There is NO UPSIDE, ONLY DOWNSIDE.
If you truly love her, and she you, you’ll both take your time…
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
[quote]Blaze_108 wrote:
I would still do things the formal way though if I was the OP. Ask the father for permission. If he says no, I would say something along the lines of “Well, I’m asking as a formality and because I respect you. I’m still going to marry your daughter.”
[/quote]
What a terrible idea.
If you disregard what he says then you don’t respect him and you’re lying to his face.
Seriously, does anyone do this anymore…or, more importantly, if you do: what if the old man says no? Then what?
[/quote]
If he says no, then he was going to be against you marrying his daughter in the first place, and would have hated you anyway.
How is it lying if you tell him your intentions?
Pretty much-
If he says yes, then he’ll probably respect you more for including him in the decision.
If he says no, he doesn’t like you anyway and so you’ve lost nothing by ignoring his decision.
[quote]sen say wrote:
Yes there are such things as coolers…first you have to start out working in gay casinos, but if you prove you can make it work the gay way, you can go on to working in a hetero club…and you might think it’s easy because you cooled a table one night with all your buddies, but when the lights go on and everyone’s watching and you’re getting paid to cool on demand…well then…I can tell you a lot of guys can’t cool under that kind of pressure.[/quote]
Is that all? Alright then, the gay way it is. That was just one example of my cooling abilities. Not only can I cool down a table game in a matter of seconds, I can make dicks floppy and nipples invert with the wink of my anus.
Speaking of anusi, I was hanging out with my cousin the other day and he decided it would be great to look at pictures of hemorrhoids. It’s not. See for yourselves.
THanks for all the replies. Sorry I didn’t respond earlier the site wasn’t working for some reason. 1st for everyone saying that I’m seeking the advice of strangers on the internet- the purpose of this was to see if other people had been in my situation and to spark discussion. I posted this out of curiosity if someone says “dont do it” I’m not gonna say “oh this guys gotta be right” I just thought this was an interesting situation/topic. 2nd I am not thinking w/my dick as one poster pointed out and I also am not the type of guy who likes to go out to the bars and fuck some girl who is obviously a whore.
I honestly have no desire to be with anyone other than her. We wouldn’t get married for a couple years probably not until we are 25 or 26 and while I know that she will be here a year or 2 from now and I could ask her then I feel like since I know that she’s going to be there why not ask her? I am 100% sure that I want to marry her and I don’t see the point in waiting 2 years to ask her just because people think we are too young. BTW we are planning on moving in together next yr.
As for her father he likes me and the reason I’d ask him for permission/for his blessing is because I know he would appreciate it and my GF would want me to as well. Basically as most people have pointed out we are young and because of that people think it’ll never last and that we aren’t mature enough however we are both mature for our age and neither of us are the type to go out all the time to the bars and stuff like that. I am only the 2nd person she has slept with (only had sex with other guy twice like 6yrs ago) and she is only the 3rd girl I’ve had sex with (the others were 1 night stands). I’m not the type of guy who just wants to have sex with random girls. That type of thing has never been important to me.
[quote]bigpicture11 wrote:
THanks for all the replies. Sorry I didn’t respond earlier the site wasn’t working for some reason. 1st for everyone saying that I’m seeking the advice of strangers on the internet- the purpose of this was to see if other people had been in my situation and to spark discussion. I posted this out of curiosity if someone says “dont do it” I’m not gonna say “oh this guys gotta be right” I just thought this was an interesting situation/topic. 2nd I am not thinking w/my dick as one poster pointed out and I also am not the type of guy who likes to go out to the bars and fuck some girl who is obviously a whore. I honestly have no desire to be with anyone other than her. We wouldn’t get married for a couple years probably not until we are 25 or 26 and while I know that she will be here a year or 2 from now and I could ask her then I feel like since I know that she’s going to be there why not ask her? I am 100% sure that I want to marry her and I don’t see the point in waiting 2 years to ask her just because people think we are too young. BTW we are planning on moving in together next yr. As for her father he likes me and the reason I’d ask him for permission/for his blessing is because I know he would appreciate it and my GF would want me to as well. Basically as most people have pointed out we are young and because of that people think it’ll never last and that we aren’t mature enough however we are both mature for our age and neither of us are the type to go out all the time to the bars and stuff like that. I am only the 2nd person she has slept with (only had sex with other guy twice like 6yrs ago) and she is only the 3rd girl I’ve had sex with (the others were 1 night stands). I’m not the type of guy who just wants to have sex with random girls. That type of thing has never been important to me. [/quote]
You know how I know you’re not mature enough? “however we are both mature for our age and neither of us are the type to go out all the time to the bars and stuff like that.”
That’s how.
Now go look at some hemorrhoid pictures. I hear a lot of pregnant chicks get them. It’ll be good for you.
IMO, if you have to ask about it, then you’re having doubts. That means that you should probably wait longer. I’m only 21 and I’m going to propose pretty soon. The thing is that we’ve been dating for 6 and a half years, so I know we work well together, and we have pretty much grown up and changed together. I think that’s what’s important- to either wait until you’re older and try to find someone that changed throughout their life in a way that is compatible with how you are, or to meet someone and date them for a really long time so you can change/grow up together.
Try to make sure she’s your best friend first. If you can be together for a decent number of years, and you still enjoy everything that you do with her, then you’re ready. Oh, and make sure her idea of fun is the same as yours. If you like to drink on the weekends or put it in the butt every now and then, make sure she feels the same. Having the same spending/saving habits would be a huge plus too.
[quote]bigpicture11 wrote:
I’m not the type of guy who just wants to have sex with random girls. [/quote]
Have you considered that you might be a homosexual?
Eh, I see nothing wrong in principle to getting married young. I’ve friends who married right out of college who are happy ('course, they dated longer than you have).
I have to agree with everyone suggesting that you have a long engagement though. As someone said right above, there is no down side to waiting… so why not wait?
My wife and I had years together before we got married. At first her dad hated me. But as the years went by he went from hate–>acceptance–>liking me—>wanting/needing me in the family. Strange how these things happen. Make sure he knows you really care for his daughter and aren’t a bum. The rest will work itself out over the years. If it doesn’t, your potential father-in-law is a dick.
'course this thread is probably just a troll job after reading the other threads…if so, well played.
Great post Mettahl I most likely will wait at least until we graduate mainly because I don’t enough money right now to get the ring I want to get her. She is my best friend luckily and she is the only person I am really able to talk to. As for financial habits she comes from a wealthy family and I come from a poor family but she isn’t spoiled at all and works very hard for everything she has. We have similar spending habits/work ethic. We also enjoy the same things (being outside, cooking, and just enjoying hanging out with friends). Like I’ ve said before I just wanted to spark conversation but I do appreciate everyone who has had serious input.
[quote]kothreat wrote:
I’ve always wondered if coolers were for real. You know those people that are hired by Vegas casinos to go cool a hot table. Cause I would be awesome at that job. I was in Vegas a couple of months ago and tried my hand at craps. Stood there for a while to see what was happening and it started to slow, once I put my money down it seemed like everyone disappeared.
Is that a real thing? Anyone know how I can get a job like that?
And to the op, you read any of the threads around here lately? There’s no need to get married. At least wait until you’re 30, at least. The human brain isn’t finished fully developing the rational self until around 25. You don’t know what the hell you’re doing.
Oh, and fuck the father. If he can’t get over his daughters having lives that’s too bad for him. [/quote]
So much for tolerance of other’s beliefs.
Anyway, no you’re not crazy. Maybe a little young and yes it is nerve racking to ask a father for his daughter’s hand in marriage, don’t be a pussy.
[quote]Eli B wrote:
Dont want to be bothered to find the exact statistic as OP states it won’t make a difference anyway but its something like: average marriage lasts 5x the length of the courtship.
Why not just date longer, and/or have a very long engagement? Shes not going anywhere right? You can still live together.
Edit: o right. daddy. Well, if it were me I would move in together. If shes not old enough to make her decisions independent of daddy shes not old enough to get married.[/quote]
How is respecting her father’s wishes not making her own decisions? Sounds like she is making her own choices because she could always choose not to obey her father’s wishes.
[quote]Eli B wrote:
A friend of mine did this pretty much right out of college. He’s from a rural area and he just kind of shrugged it off as ‘thats the way its done.’
Its also why divorce rates are way higher in rural areas compared to urban areas.[/quote]
Proof.
There’s a big difference in getting engaged and married. I have a friend who got engaged at 19 and still is engaged at the age of 22. He’s dated the girl since he was 15. I don’t see a problem with getting engaged to her, but there’s no rush to be married. Don’t do it until you are set financially and are absolutely sure. I mean hell, you basically get taxed more when your married. That’s no fun.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
[quote]bigpicture11 wrote:
I know for a fact that she will say yes but we are both very nervous to tell our parents about it because we are considered young to get engaged and she is more nervous because her father is very very strict/old fashioned and basically she is afraid to tell him (her sister moved in with her BF (they are 27) and he nearly disowned her.
[/quote]
I would think that if you’re mature enough to decide to get married, you’re not afraid of what your daddy’s going to say.[/quote]
Bingo. They sound like little kids asking permission. That doesn’t sound like “ready for marriage” to me. It sounds like you are rushing into things for some reason simply because you two will be graduating soon.
Good luck with that…and let us know how happy you are in 5-10 years after the divorce.
If it’s real love, she will still be there 2 years from now. One year is not enough to know someone for MARRIAGE unless you just like taking risks.[/quote]
Couldn’t agree with this more. I met my current wife when I was 21. We were together for over 4 years before I proposed and then engaged for 2 years. My wife is italian so asking her Dad was intimidating as well.
On easter I took him into another room, I showed him the ring which was very nice and told him I wanted to spend the rest of my days with his daughter but wanted his permission first.
He looked at me, patted me on the arm and said, “Let’s wait and see what she says first.” then left the room. He loves me now, but fathers are going to protect their daughters, it’s in their nature.
[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Right now, getting jobs is more important than getting married. Because, basically without jobs you are asking to live in the basement with one of y’all’s families.
Cliff notes: get a job[/quote]
If you’re married you are more likely to get hired…at least by everyone I work with.
[quote]sen say wrote:
She Say and I got married at 23… we been happy ever since…maybe it was 24…I’d have to count backwards…
You morons that wait until you’re 30 to get married because you want to have ‘causes’ and get drunk in bars with meth whores and then wait until you’re 40 to have kids are going to be 70 by the time your moron babies fly the coop…have fun changing diapers when you’re 41 and your knees are shot and your meth whore wife is fat because she quit meth and doesn’t like to fuck anymore because she’s all methed washed out.
Yes there are such things as coolers…first you have to start out working in gay casinos, but if you prove you can make it work the gay way, you can go on to working in a hetero club…and you might think it’s easy because you cooled a table one night with all your buddies, but when the lights go on and everyone’s watching and you’re getting paid to cool on demand…well then…I can tell you a lot of guys can’t cool under that kind of pressure.[/quote]
Word, think about the babies.
@ Dles I agree with you 100% there is a HUGE difference between being engaged and married and we will wait a few years before getting married. My GF and I have discussed getting married and having children a lot and we both want to have children before or around the age of 30 because like a couple people have said we don’t want to be 60 years old with a 15yr old child. @ prof X 1st let me say I have been reading this site since I was about 15 or 16 and I love reading what you post about training and health. With that being said I completely disagree with you. I understand that people live longer and have children later but I would prefer to have children when I am a little younger so I can have the energy to keep up with them.
My mother had her last child (i have 2 siblings) when she was 46. She is now 59 and she is exhausted. My father is 62 and is now in poor health. My little brother doesn’t feel like he can talk to her or my father and he is made fun of b/c people think that his mom is his grandma. Why would I want to put my children through that? It would be even worse with a daughter IMO I don’t see most 14yr old girls listening to 60yr old mothers and I really don’t know anyone who would want to deal with worrying about raising a teenager at the age of 60+. Also at that age I want to enjoy my life and be retired not worrying about how I’m going to pay for my kids college and things like that.
[quote]BONEZ217 wrote:
Marrying a girl after dating for 1 year = ironic screen name.
[/quote]
Good catch.