Is there a secret to this? Is it just something that I should resist doing altogether?
I get stares from females that would be an obvious green light in any other setting. I get hit on by gay dudes on a regular basis. But, as soon as I try to make any sort of conversation with females who show interest, I get the cold shoulder.
I’m not striking up conversation in the middle of their set or while they’re wearing headphones. Does this still just come across as obnoxious?
[quote]peterlotus wrote:
Is there a secret to this? Is it just something that I should resist doing altogether?
I get stares from females that would be an obvious green light in any other setting. I get hit on by gay dudes on a regular basis. But, as soon as I try to make any sort of conversation with females who show interest, I get the cold shoulder.
I’m not striking up conversation in the middle of their set or while they’re wearing headphones. Does this still just come across as obnoxious? [/quote]
Don’t know about secrets but apparently this was an easier endeavor back in the day (the late 70s through the 80s according to what a few oldtimers have told me). Supposedly many woman would go to the gym decked out in hairspray and make-up. Earphones were unheard of. It was a free for all according to them.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Pick up the small ones first and build up your reps, then move up to the bigger ones incrementally as you exceed previous personal bests.
[quote]peterlotus wrote:
Does this still just come across as obnoxious? [/quote]
For the most part, yes. I’m under the odd impression that people go to the gym to accomplish something for themselves. Sure, you will see the same familiar faces if you constantly show up at the same time each day, and friendly smiles are certainly cool, maybe a little exchange between sets etc. But unless you’re intentionally scoping for the girls who use the gym as a pickup bar, I have a feel that more often than not, you’re not going to be received very well by the majority of female gym goers.
I’m very friendly with most people in my gym, women and men, and have hung out and developed relationships with many. This however developed over time, as no one is going to just stop their training (the reason they showed up) to talk to someone who isn’t similarly focused on completing their own session.
Are you tall, aesthetic, big as a brick shithouse? There is a lot more competition in a gym than out in the world.
Lets look at the odds and social dynamics.
Generally you’re looking at a highly skewed M to F sex ratio. Then you take into account, if a gym hottie is single. She probably isn’t single for long. I would do a little recon before making a move in the gym. Lots of couples in the gym.
Are you outgoing in the gym? Do you smile and talk to everyone. I call this, the social vulture maneuver. So when said cardio bunny does become single or thinks about it you’re probably on her mind. IE, when something dies you’re ready to swoop in…lol
At my current gym, there are quite a few men who chat up ANY woman in the place. This behavior is pretty common at commercial gyms.
I go to a gym to lift and reduce stress. Not to talk to women. I do have women hit on me on occasionally. A woman would have to be pretty special for me to take a shit on my front porch.
[quote]peterlotus wrote:
Does this still just come across as obnoxious? [/quote]
For the most part, yes. I’m under the odd impression that people go to the gym to accomplish something for themselves. Sure, you will see the same familiar faces if you constantly show up at the same time each day, and friendly smiles are certainly cool, maybe a little exchange between sets etc. But unless you’re intentionally scoping for the girls who use the gym as a pickup bar, I have a feel that more often than not, you’re not going to be received very well by the majority of female gym goers.
I’m very friendly with most people in my gym, women and men, and have hung out and developed relationships with many. This however developed over time, as no one is going to just stop their training (the reason they showed up) to talk to someone who isn’t similarly focused on completing their own session.
a dude at my gym keeps hitting on my lady! Asks her constantly if she’d like to train with him, and offers her unsolicited advice which is usually wrong (and I have to correct it).
I just think it’s funny. I trust my fiancee completely, and besides, the guy’s really not a threat.
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
A slightly serious reply.
Are you tall, aesthetic, big as a brick shithouse? There is a lot more competition in a gym than out in the world.
Lets look at the odds and social dynamics.
Generally you’re looking at a highly skewed M to F sex ratio. Then you take into account, if a gym hottie is single. She probably isn’t single for long. I would do a little recon before making a move in the gym. Lots of couples in the gym.
Are you outgoing in the gym? Do you smile and talk to everyone. I call this, the social vulture maneuver. So when said cardio bunny does become single or thinks about it you’re probably on her mind. IE, when something dies you’re ready to swoop in…lol
At my current gym, there are quite a few men who chat up ANY woman in the place. This behavior is pretty common at commercial gyms.
I go to a gym to lift and reduce stress. Not to talk to women. I do have women hit on me on occasionally. A woman would have to be pretty special for me to take a shit on my front porch.
[/quote]
You live in Great Britain right? This has Brit behaviour all over it. I’ve found British dudes in their 20s carry an almost obnoxious like confidence that spills over to almost all factions of social interaction.
Thanks for the good advice. I will resist the urge unless it’s blatantly obvious. I was just baffled by the rejections after receiving indicators of interest that lead to success in almost any other situation.