I told my mom that her dad died.
We all thought that he was in hospice care at the time, and my mom asked me to go visit him when I went to Korea for my paternal cousin’s wedding. So, upon arriving in Korea I called my maternal uncle to say my hellos and ask how my maternal grandfather was doing. My uncle told me that my grandfather actually died a year ago, and that the family couldn’t summon the courage to tell my mom because she had ovarian cancer at the time.
My mom’s family basically hid the fact that her dad died for a year on the excuse that she was suffering from ovarian cancer, and they didn’t even tell her once she got confirmation that the cancer went into remission. And they expected me go to back home and break the news to her.
So I did.
Know how my mom reacted? The first thing she did after we got home (She picked me up from the airport) was ask how her dad was doing.
I told her that he actually died a year ago. She sat for a second, made some short giggle/laugh kind of sound, asked me to repeat what I said, started tearing up and then went into her bedroom. She came out about 10 minutes later with tears streaming down her face and asked me how he died.
…
I was at college when my dad told me that mom got the diagnosis for the ovarian cancer and that she had to go into surgery asap.
Honestly, all I recall feeling is absolutely nothing when my dad told me this.
In hindsight, I think it’s really scary to feel absolutely nothing. It was sort of like my mind went blank for a bit.
Point being- my personal experience is that people react to extreme events with pure shock and sheer incomprehension. It takes time to fully digest what just happened/was said.
The hysteria and breakdown may come later, but I firmly believe that the premise that people would react immediately with a breakdown is asinine and more Hollywood magic than reality.
Everyone has experienced different things in their lives and react to situations in their own manners. I tend to just clam up and just demand more information when I hear horribly bad news.
In fact, I believe that I would react in a similar manner to Castile’s fiancee had I been in her shoes in the immediate aftermath. I don’t know if I would break down in the manner she did once she actually realized that Castile died, but I am pretty sure I would say similar words to what the fiancee said in the immediate aftermath.
Maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you react noisily to extreme events. I don’t know.
But such is how people react to things. Everyone has different experiences and different ways they approach life.
That’s why you find her immediate react to be a falsehood and make you question what you see, whereas I see no reason to believe that she lied when she stated that the officer asked to see Castile’s driver license