My kids are 27, 19 and 18. NEVER layed a hand on them; I don’t believe in spanking period. I also doubt this will lead to world peace.
The best way to discipline IMO that has worked for us is to take a privilege away. They do something wrong explain the consecquneces at their level depending on age.
Up to the age of 5 or 6 on average in our household, pretty much a change in voice gets a notice, no screaming, short responses no lectures. Be prepared to repeat yourself several times, be patient. Time outs work as long as they are age approprate.
After 5 or 6 their understanding is dramatic. More reasoning is understood. If you give a consequence be prepared to follow through; My daughter had a tantrum at a grocery store once (and only once) as she wanted a chocolate bar and I told her no as it would spoil her dinner.
She screamed and I told her that if she didn’t behave we would be going home. She continued, I was in line with the cart full of food. Grabbed in my arms (she was whaling away) and I simply pushed my cart out of line and went to customer service and told them unfortunately they will have to replace the items. I went into the car and my daughter stopped and said she wanted to go back and I told her we can’t because she misbehaved after I warned her. She was quiet all the way home and nver acted out again.
Kids respond with privelges taken away. Once we asked the kids to cleanup their room, they didn’t and we warned them that if they didn’t clean it we would clean it and anything on the floor will be thrown out. Well we threw it out, since then their room was clean or cleaned if asked.
Holloween candies, we told them that they had enough for now, they wanted more and more told them if they didn’t stop it would be trown out. We threw it out. Every holloween since then we managed the candy intake.
There are alternatives; be patient, be open minded and try to reach them at their level. Be generous with love as well and be inloved in their lives; you’re not only their parents but also their mentors.
As I said this has helped us. YMMV.
P.S. If you have a hyper active kid, get them checked out as it is a sign of intelligence, my son was hyper, running all over the place,short tempered etc… had him tested and found he was “gifted”.
I was child that was spanked as a kid and beaten as I got older because I got used to the level of “hitting”. Never liked it and even if I tried to reason with “OK, I get it I won’t do it again…” I was hit for the principle of it…WTF?
When my children were very young I had to stop the hit reflex I was accustomed too, for the first few years it was difficult however it became easier over time.
In fact we are foster parents and as foster parents we are not allowed to use physical punishments on these kids. The foster kids who were most troubled came to us, basically the rejects from other foster parents that couldn’t handle them. When they would do somethign wrong they asked “So, what are you going to fucking do… you can’t hit me.”
I would tell them “No, but I can remove your computer, cell phone and place a curfew and if you swear at me again I’ll added more time.”
The very first time I said this they said they were sorry, I told them that was their first chance, next time it will happen. I have to tell you, it did happen ONCE!
Just my perspective on things.