Pathetic men

Off Topic
61

I rarely post, but was compelled to offer some female perspective. ( Its safe to assume that a female who is a T-Nation regular, and loves to squat and deadlift, is not pain-averse )

I’ve birthed two children, naturally (first was 20 hours long and the other 1.5 hours ). Both kids ~8lbs (which is ‘big’ for my body - I’m 5’3 , 120lbs). During my 2nd labour, I actually thought “I don’t want to finish this. I want to die. My mother will help care for my son and this baby”. Labour was traumatic in the sense that for days after, I felt like my body had been in a car accident and I had flashbacks. Even years later, the pain is still vivid in my memory.

So if you’ve had pain whereby you seriously wanted to die (even for a moment), hopefully that gives you an idea of the intensity of labour.

BUT I am so very grateful for the experience; it has given me confidence in my body’s strength. I wish women would stop bitching and appreciate that is part of being a woman. You don’t deserve a damn ‘push-present’, for doing what your body is built for. It will hurt, but you will get through it, and be better for it.

63

[quote]mel416 wrote:
I rarely post, but was compelled to offer some female perspective. ( Its safe to assume that a female who is a T-Nation regular, and loves to squat and deadlift, is not pain-averse )

I’ve birthed two children, naturally (first was 20 hours long and the other 1.5 hours ). Both kids ~8lbs (which is ‘big’ for my body - I’m 5’3 , 120lbs). During my 2nd labour, I actually thought “I don’t want to finish this. I want to die. My mother will help care for my son and this baby”. Labour was traumatic in the sense that for days after, I felt like my body had been in a car accident and I had flashbacks. Even years later, the pain is still vivid in my memory.

So if you’ve had pain whereby you seriously wanted to die (even for a moment), hopefully that gives you an idea of the intensity of labour.

BUT I am so very grateful for the experience; it has given me confidence in my body’s strength. I wish women would stop bitching and appreciate that is part of being a woman. You don’t deserve a damn ‘push-present’, for doing what your body is built for. It will hurt, but you will get through it, and be better for it.
[/quote]

This was very close to my experience. I found natural childbirth (no drugs, no interventions, no monitors) to be the most empowering and confidence-building experience.

64

My wife’s labour was hard, fast and traumatic as hell. Big kid (9lbs 6oz), small woman (not going to post her stats), no drugs (it happened too fast) and lots of unpleasantness (I won’t detail it here in the interest of respecting her privacy). I am not a squeamish guy at all and I come from a family that carries their pain well, but that was freakin’ hardcore. I would not wish it on anyone (well, maybe almost no one).

That said, to say that she “handled” it would be inaccurate IMO and I think she would agree. She is an extremely tough lady with a well above average tolerance for pain but she did not handle it. I’m not sure anyone could. She survived it because she had no choice. Had it been a voluntary exercise just to see if she could get through it, she would absolutely have pulled the plug way early on, and who could blame her?

She doesn’t make a big deal out of it at all. She doesn’t really see it as something that she intentionally “did” per se, and so doesn’t take an excessive amount of personal pride in it or hold it over anyone’s head. She also makes no bones about the fact that it sucked. Hard. I expect she sees it very much the way you two ladies do.

Edited

66

[quote]mel416 wrote:
I rarely post, but was compelled to offer some female perspective. ( Its safe to assume that a female who is a T-Nation regular, and loves to squat and deadlift, is not pain-averse )

I’ve birthed two children, naturally (first was 20 hours long and the other 1.5 hours ). Both kids ~8lbs (which is ‘big’ for my body - I’m 5’3 , 120lbs). During my 2nd labour, I actually thought “I don’t want to finish this. I want to die. My mother will help care for my son and this baby”. Labour was traumatic in the sense that for days after, I felt like my body had been in a car accident and I had flashbacks. Even years later, the pain is still vivid in my memory.

So if you’ve had pain whereby you seriously wanted to die (even for a moment), hopefully that gives you an idea of the intensity of labour.

BUT I am so very grateful for the experience; it has given me confidence in my body’s strength. I wish women would stop bitching and appreciate that is part of being a woman. You don’t deserve a damn ‘push-present’, for doing what your body is built for. It will hurt, but you will get through it, and be better for it.
[/quote]

Wow Mel. That is possibly the single most succinct, powerful, tangible description of childbirth I’ve ever heard, and you hardly even used any adjectives. I almost always read women’s descriptions of labor and think, "Ahh, I could handle that. " I got to the end of your second paragraph and just stopped reading for a minute, and let it sink in. Childbirth all of a sudden seems quite a bit more grim.

Now, with that said…Come on guys, time to step it up here! We just played our kidney stones card like it was a full house and then Mel here pulls out a straight flush. Certainly there’s at least one of us who’s had to hack his own gangrenous leg off above the knee with nothing more than a garden hoe and a bottle of whiskey…? Nobody’s removed their shingles with P12 sandpaper?

(^_~)b

Btw in case I was not clear enough, great post, Mel. I have been humbled.

67

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]mel416 wrote:
I rarely post, but was compelled to offer some female perspective. ( Its safe to assume that a female who is a T-Nation regular, and loves to squat and deadlift, is not pain-averse )

I’ve birthed two children, naturally (first was 20 hours long and the other 1.5 hours ). Both kids ~8lbs (which is ‘big’ for my body - I’m 5’3 , 120lbs). During my 2nd labour, I actually thought “I don’t want to finish this. I want to die. My mother will help care for my son and this baby”. Labour was traumatic in the sense that for days after, I felt like my body had been in a car accident and I had flashbacks. Even years later, the pain is still vivid in my memory.

So if you’ve had pain whereby you seriously wanted to die (even for a moment), hopefully that gives you an idea of the intensity of labour.

BUT I am so very grateful for the experience; it has given me confidence in my body’s strength. I wish women would stop bitching and appreciate that is part of being a woman. You don’t deserve a damn ‘push-present’, for doing what your body is built for. It will hurt, but you will get through it, and be better for it.
[/quote]

Wow Mel. That is possibly the single most succinct, powerful, tangible description of childbirth I’ve ever heard, and you hardly even used any adjectives. I almost always read women’s descriptions of labor and think, "Ahh, I could handle that. " I got to the end of your second paragraph and just stopped reading for a minute, and let it sink in. Childbirth all of a sudden seems quite a bit more grim.

Now, with that said…Come on guys, time to step it up here! We just played our kidney stones card like it was a full house and then Mel here pulls out a straight flush. Certainly there’s at least one of us who’s had to hack his own gangrenous leg off above the knee with nothing more than a garden hoe and a bottle of whiskey…? Nobody’s removed their shingles with P12 sandpaper?

(^_~)b

Btw in case I was not clear enough, great post, Mel. I have been humbled.
[/quote]

Yes, I have had some intense pain…been shot twice and stabbed once. But its the recovery and rehab that you live with for months, that is the true test of indurance, pain on a daily basis and wondering if you will ever be whole again. But , thats nothing compared to the men and women in the US military, who are trying to live without arms or legs, or, facing daily nightmares of IED’S.

68

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:
My wife’s labour was hard, fast and traumatic as hell. Big kid (9lbs 6oz), small woman (not going to post her stats), no drugs (it happened too fast) and lots of unpleasantness (I won’t detail it here in the interest of respecting her privacy). I am not a squeamish guy at all and I come from a family that carries their pain well, but that was freakin’ hardcore. I would not wish it on anyone (well, maybe almost no one).

That said, to say that she “handled” it would be inaccurate IMO and I think she would agree. She is an extremely tough lady with a well above average tolerance for pain but she did not handle it. I’m not sure anyone could. She survived it because she had no choice. Had it been a voluntary exercise just to see if she could get through it, she would absolutely have pulled the plug way early on, and who could blame her?

She doesn’t make a big deal out of it at all. She doesn’t really see it as something that she intentionally “did” per se, and so doesn’t take an excessive amount of personal pride in it or hold it over anyone’s head. She also makes no bones about the fact that it sucked. Hard. I expect she sees it very much the way you two ladies do.

Edited[/quote]

How are her health problems, if you don’t mind me asking?
[/quote]

I don’t mind at all, it’s very kind of you to ask. Treatment finished back in Feb. First mammogram on the remaining breast came back clear. The worst part now is the lingering fatigue. Her energy levels just aren’t coming back at all yet and her digestive tract is still recovering from the inflammation caused by chemo and all the antibiotics.

It doesn’t sound like a big deal when you say it, but that level of unrelenting fatigue sustained for a year has a real impact on your quality of life. It’s especially challenging to try to care for a very energetic 3 year old when you are barely physically able get out of bed.

Apparently what she’s experiencing is totally normal given her course of treatment, but I don’t think either of us expected it. I’m really looking forward to seeing her regain a bit of vitality so she can start getting a little more active enjoying her life a bit more, but one day at a time I guess…

69

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]i_am_ketosis wrote:
some stuff
[/quote]
omg where have you been?[/quote]

Getting fat.

70

Not to derail the thread (and I’m sure I could answer the question with a Google search, which I will do) but are kidney stones a hereditary thing? Or are there other factors that can play a part?

I remember back in high school one of my friends had kidney stones (we were 15/16 back then).

We’re in our mid-twenties now and since then he doesn’t drink anything but water.

That shit scares the fuck out of me.

71

[quote]En Sabah Nur wrote:
Not to derail the thread (and I’m sure I could answer the question with a Google search, which I will do) but are kidney stones a hereditary thing? Or are there other factors that can play a part?

I remember back in high school one of my friends had kidney stones (we were 15/16 back then).

We’re in our mid-twenties now and since then he doesn’t drink anything but water.

That shit scares the fuck out of me.[/quote]

If the family member has very frequent and hard to manage (with diet) kidney stones, then they are probably hereditary to a point. I have that glorious little tidbit to look forward to myself.

72

[quote]Cortes wrote:
Btw in case I was not clear enough, great post, Mel. I have been humbled.
[/quote]

wow, thank you. I am flattered by your gracious response.

[quote]batman730 wrote

That said, to say that she “handled” it would be inaccurate IMO… She survived it because she had no choice.

Edited[/quote]

100% agree, and well said. Thanks for sharing.

73

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:
I never got it when women say men wouldn’t be able to handle childbirth…it’s not like women “handle” it very well either. No one is supposed to handle having something like that happen to them.[/quote]
Looks left and right to make sure no women folk are around

Yeah me neither Nards. From what I’ve read men don’t even feel as much pain as women. Women have more nerve endings and are more sensitive and all that. If anything that suggests men would handle it better lol. I’ve never met one, but I imagine the stereotypical “child birth is the most painful thing ever and you could never even imagine it” women do exist somewhere. I’d tell one of them to ask the guy who got his legs blown off in Iraq if he thinks child birth would have hurt more.[/quote]

It’s just something women say so to make themselves feel superior to men. It’s one of the idiotic sacred cows of feminism.

A friend of mine posted about this a while back on Facebook and I asked WHY men would willfully engage in such a stupid sounding endeavor. Like, “seeing what it’s like” to get kicked in the balls by Adam Vinatieri" would be in any way edifying, for anyone, anywhere.

She later found that article and posted it and it was rather disgusting to see the comments from so many females who are apparently sociopathic and occasionally downright sadistic.

One that I remember from a classmate of mine: “ALL men should have to experience this as their wives are being wheeled in for labor.” [caps hers]

Why? What the hell did ALL men do to you to make you so damned bitter, lady?

I was reminded of the (as far as I am aware of most recent) case of the guy who had his penis cut off (and I think microwaved, or something?) by his wife. Oprah brought up the topic and a sizable number of women in her audience LAUGHED about it. Oprah also condoned the laughter. Can you possibly imagine a situation where the woman would have been subjected to an involuntary clitoridectomy, and men LAUGH about it?

The sky would fall.

[/quote]

Countless women I have dated do not understand double standards. For instance the whole Twilight thing with the guy that was jacked.

74

[quote]Fuzzyapple.Train wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:
I never got it when women say men wouldn’t be able to handle childbirth…it’s not like women “handle” it very well either. No one is supposed to handle having something like that happen to them.[/quote]
Looks left and right to make sure no women folk are around

Yeah me neither Nards. From what I’ve read men don’t even feel as much pain as women. Women have more nerve endings and are more sensitive and all that. If anything that suggests men would handle it better lol. I’ve never met one, but I imagine the stereotypical “child birth is the most painful thing ever and you could never even imagine it” women do exist somewhere. I’d tell one of them to ask the guy who got his legs blown off in Iraq if he thinks child birth would have hurt more.[/quote]

It’s just something women say so to make themselves feel superior to men. It’s one of the idiotic sacred cows of feminism.

A friend of mine posted about this a while back on Facebook and I asked WHY men would willfully engage in such a stupid sounding endeavor. Like, “seeing what it’s like” to get kicked in the balls by Adam Vinatieri" would be in any way edifying, for anyone, anywhere.

She later found that article and posted it and it was rather disgusting to see the comments from so many females who are apparently sociopathic and occasionally downright sadistic.

One that I remember from a classmate of mine: “ALL men should have to experience this as their wives are being wheeled in for labor.” [caps hers]

Why? What the hell did ALL men do to you to make you so damned bitter, lady?

I was reminded of the (as far as I am aware of most recent) case of the guy who had his penis cut off (and I think microwaved, or something?) by his wife. Oprah brought up the topic and a sizable number of women in her audience LAUGHED about it. Oprah also condoned the laughter. Can you possibly imagine a situation where the woman would have been subjected to an involuntary clitoridectomy, and men LAUGH about it?

The sky would fall.

[/quote]

Countless women I have dated do not understand double standards. For instance the whole Twilight thing with the guy that was jacked.
[/quote]

Now you mention it.

I hate to toot my own horn here but I worked in a place with several fat chicks, attitude an all, and they wanted this guy so badly.

Why would he go for snorlax when he can have Misty bent over and wet for him? These women wouldn’t even look at guys who lifted, its all a fame game for them.

76

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:
My wife’s labour was hard, fast and traumatic as hell. Big kid (9lbs 6oz), small woman (not going to post her stats), no drugs (it happened too fast) and lots of unpleasantness (I won’t detail it here in the interest of respecting her privacy). I am not a squeamish guy at all and I come from a family that carries their pain well, but that was freakin’ hardcore. I would not wish it on anyone (well, maybe almost no one).

That said, to say that she “handled” it would be inaccurate IMO and I think she would agree. She is an extremely tough lady with a well above average tolerance for pain but she did not handle it. I’m not sure anyone could. She survived it because she had no choice. Had it been a voluntary exercise just to see if she could get through it, she would absolutely have pulled the plug way early on, and who could blame her?

She doesn’t make a big deal out of it at all. She doesn’t really see it as something that she intentionally “did” per se, and so doesn’t take an excessive amount of personal pride in it or hold it over anyone’s head. She also makes no bones about the fact that it sucked. Hard. I expect she sees it very much the way you two ladies do.

Edited[/quote]

How are her health problems, if you don’t mind me asking?
[/quote]

I don’t mind at all, it’s very kind of you to ask. Treatment finished back in Feb. First mammogram on the remaining breast came back clear. The worst part now is the lingering fatigue. Her energy levels just aren’t coming back at all yet and her digestive tract is still recovering from the inflammation caused by chemo and all the antibiotics.

It doesn’t sound like a big deal when you say it, but that level of unrelenting fatigue sustained for a year has a real impact on your quality of life. It’s especially challenging to try to care for a very energetic 3 year old when you are barely physically able get out of bed.

Apparently what she’s experiencing is totally normal given her course of treatment, but I don’t think either of us expected it. I’m really looking forward to seeing her regain a bit of vitality so she can start getting a little more active enjoying her life a bit more, but one day at a time I guess…

[/quote]

Man, that does sound rough. Long term fatigue has to be a nightmare.

On the other hand, I’m happy to hear that it sounds like she’s back on the road to healthy.

None of this could have been easy for you, either.

Hopefully, it only gets better from here.

Good thoughts to you and your family.[/quote]

Thanks for the kind thoughts and words. It’s been a long road and there’s still a ways to go.

While I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m grateful for the experience, it has forced me to grow and adapt as a person and helped me to understand what’s important in life. Never take anyone or anything for granted my friend. It sounds trite, but you really just never know…

77

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:
My wife’s labour was hard, fast and traumatic as hell. Big kid (9lbs 6oz), small woman (not going to post her stats), no drugs (it happened too fast) and lots of unpleasantness (I won’t detail it here in the interest of respecting her privacy). I am not a squeamish guy at all and I come from a family that carries their pain well, but that was freakin’ hardcore. I would not wish it on anyone (well, maybe almost no one).

That said, to say that she “handled” it would be inaccurate IMO and I think she would agree. She is an extremely tough lady with a well above average tolerance for pain but she did not handle it. I’m not sure anyone could. She survived it because she had no choice. Had it been a voluntary exercise just to see if she could get through it, she would absolutely have pulled the plug way early on, and who could blame her?

She doesn’t make a big deal out of it at all. She doesn’t really see it as something that she intentionally “did” per se, and so doesn’t take an excessive amount of personal pride in it or hold it over anyone’s head. She also makes no bones about the fact that it sucked. Hard. I expect she sees it very much the way you two ladies do.

Edited[/quote]

How are her health problems, if you don’t mind me asking?
[/quote]

I don’t mind at all, it’s very kind of you to ask. Treatment finished back in Feb. First mammogram on the remaining breast came back clear. The worst part now is the lingering fatigue. Her energy levels just aren’t coming back at all yet and her digestive tract is still recovering from the inflammation caused by chemo and all the antibiotics.

It doesn’t sound like a big deal when you say it, but that level of unrelenting fatigue sustained for a year has a real impact on your quality of life. It’s especially challenging to try to care for a very energetic 3 year old when you are barely physically able get out of bed.

Apparently what she’s experiencing is totally normal given her course of treatment, but I don’t think either of us expected it. I’m really looking forward to seeing her regain a bit of vitality so she can start getting a little more active enjoying her life a bit more, but one day at a time I guess…

[/quote]

Man, that does sound rough. Long term fatigue has to be a nightmare.

On the other hand, I’m happy to hear that it sounds like she’s back on the road to healthy.

None of this could have been easy for you, either.

Hopefully, it only gets better from here.

Good thoughts to you and your family.[/quote]

Thanks for the kind thoughts and words. It’s been a long road and there’s still a ways to go.

While I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m grateful for the experience, it has forced me to grow and adapt as a person and helped me to understand what’s important in life. Never take anyone or anything for granted my friend. It sounds trite, but you really just never know…[/quote]

batman your wife and family are truly blessed to have someone as honorable, selfless and wise as you are to support them. And this site is a far better place for your participation in it. You are one of only a handful of my must-read posters.

I don’t think I’ve ever told you this before, but I think it nearly every time you post. So thanks and don’t go anywhere.

78

…revenge for circumcision.

Yea, that shit they are cutting off sure ain’t made of plastic.

79

My experience with kidney stones…

One of the worst, my crippling pains I have ever felt.

The pain literally moves, and as it gets closer to your dick, it gets worse.

When I finally passed 3 stones, my legs gave out and I fell to the ground.

Once the stones come out, the pain was completely gone, just felt really sore and tired.

Stones looked like a grain of rice.

80

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:
My wife’s labour was hard, fast and traumatic as hell. Big kid (9lbs 6oz), small woman (not going to post her stats), no drugs (it happened too fast) and lots of unpleasantness (I won’t detail it here in the interest of respecting her privacy). I am not a squeamish guy at all and I come from a family that carries their pain well, but that was freakin’ hardcore. I would not wish it on anyone (well, maybe almost no one).

That said, to say that she “handled” it would be inaccurate IMO and I think she would agree. She is an extremely tough lady with a well above average tolerance for pain but she did not handle it. I’m not sure anyone could. She survived it because she had no choice. Had it been a voluntary exercise just to see if she could get through it, she would absolutely have pulled the plug way early on, and who could blame her?

She doesn’t make a big deal out of it at all. She doesn’t really see it as something that she intentionally “did” per se, and so doesn’t take an excessive amount of personal pride in it or hold it over anyone’s head. She also makes no bones about the fact that it sucked. Hard. I expect she sees it very much the way you two ladies do.

Edited[/quote]

How are her health problems, if you don’t mind me asking?
[/quote]

I don’t mind at all, it’s very kind of you to ask. Treatment finished back in Feb. First mammogram on the remaining breast came back clear. The worst part now is the lingering fatigue. Her energy levels just aren’t coming back at all yet and her digestive tract is still recovering from the inflammation caused by chemo and all the antibiotics.

It doesn’t sound like a big deal when you say it, but that level of unrelenting fatigue sustained for a year has a real impact on your quality of life. It’s especially challenging to try to care for a very energetic 3 year old when you are barely physically able get out of bed.

Apparently what she’s experiencing is totally normal given her course of treatment, but I don’t think either of us expected it. I’m really looking forward to seeing her regain a bit of vitality so she can start getting a little more active enjoying her life a bit more, but one day at a time I guess…

[/quote]

Man, that does sound rough. Long term fatigue has to be a nightmare.

On the other hand, I’m happy to hear that it sounds like she’s back on the road to healthy.

None of this could have been easy for you, either.

Hopefully, it only gets better from here.

Good thoughts to you and your family.[/quote]

Thanks for the kind thoughts and words. It’s been a long road and there’s still a ways to go.

While I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m grateful for the experience, it has forced me to grow and adapt as a person and helped me to understand what’s important in life. Never take anyone or anything for granted my friend. It sounds trite, but you really just never know…[/quote]

batman your wife and family are truly blessed to have someone as honorable, selfless and wise as you are to support them. And this site is a far better place for your participation in it. You are one of only a handful of my must-read posters.

I don’t think I’ve ever told you this before, but I think it nearly every time you post. So thanks and don’t go anywhere. [/quote]

Wow man. I had no idea.

I really don’t know what to say, but the sentiment’s appreciated and pretty much mutual.

Thanks!