I told our kids from day one:
“Be exceptional. Do what most can’t. Any fool can get drunk or do drugs. It takes no talent… zero; you’re better than that. You’re smart, athletic and are surrounded by people you love you. Step up and live to your potential.”
… one listened, one didn’t.
mf
[quote]MudFlap wrote:
I told our kids from day one:
“Be exceptional. Do what most can’t. Any fool can get drunk or do drugs. It takes no talent… zero; you’re better than that. You’re smart, athletic and are surrounded by people you love you. Step up and live to your potential.”
… one listened, one didn’t.
mf[/quote]
Thats a pretty good statement, I think it holds a lot of truth. I do know some brilliant and renowned scientists who are raging alcoholics though.
[quote]MudFlap wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
[ But above the birth of my daughter because she’s being IMPOSSIBLE right now.
[/quote]
There is simply not enough bandwidth on the entire interwebz to explain the Burning Hell of raising our daughter.
mf
[/quote]
Good Stories, do tell!
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
[quote]MudFlap wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
[ But above the birth of my daughter because she’s being IMPOSSIBLE right now.
[/quote]
There is simply not enough bandwidth on the entire interwebz to explain the Burning Hell of raising our daughter.
mf
[/quote]
Good Stories, do tell! [/quote]
Good God… My wife’s father suddenly dies and I run her to the airport to catch a flight home to be with her family. We decide that I’m going to load our family in the suv and make the 13 hour drive (with our two teenage kids) in time for the funeral.
I pack the sled and set the alarm for 4AM. We had just lost a family member and tensions are running high; I’m wired and it’s already about 11 o’clock at night. I remember that I needed to pack a pair of running shoes so I run out to the garage to throw the shoes in the back of the suv. I notice that the garage service door is open and there is someone in my car port. It’s our daughter, alone, smoking reefer.
I snatch the reefer from her hands and kick her right in the ass with my size 10 right foot and say: “Get in the house, now.”
Flash forward 3 months and I have her in yet another round of counseling. This time in a treatment center in another state.
She tells the counselor that I kicked her in the ass (I did). The counselor then calls child protective services for a report in my home state. ( fuck me, really? )
Interview after interview with the CPS investigator. She then says:
“I need to speak to everyone in your family including your son.”
Pfft…No Problem.
Our son spends 15 minutes talking to the investigator and spills everything about our daughters behavior and how it has affected the family.
Two days later I receive a letter saying the case is permanently closed and no further action will be needed or taken.
… that’s just one story.
There are other stories about us spending thousands of dollars on seeking help for her.
My wife dialing 91… and me snatching the cell phone from her hand before she pushes the next “1”.
(Please, we don’t need the Po Po showing up… it would just be fuel on the fire.)
Counselors (more than one) shaking their heads and telling me: “You’re probably wasting your time.”
Let’s see…
Changing every lock in the house to a keyed dead bolt from both the inside and the outside.
That’s enough for now.
Actually, that’s enough - period. I’m in a pretty good mood and reliving it can be a drag.
The upside, that’s been a few years ago and she has rebounded very nicely.
She’s in much better health ( physical and mental ) now and she keeps improving. (thank God)
I really thought she was trying to kill the entire family while ripping it apart. It actually had the opposite effect by bringing us together.
Frankly, the only reason I share the stories is to give hope to other folks who might be experiencing similar behaviors with their teenagers; misery loves company, right?
mf
Welcome, MudFlap. After reading your posts over the past day or so, I’m glad you’re here!
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Welcome, MudFlap. After reading your posts over the past day or so, I’m glad you’re here![/quote]
Thanks,Emily; I appreciate the thought.
mf
I’m assuming it’s significantly more complicated and it’s impossible to know everything through an internet post, but sending someone to an out of state treatment for weed might be doing more harm than good.
I have to agree with some of what Aggv is saying. Back in college we drank a lot. People used coffee, or green tea or caffine or ephedra to wake up or stay up. Dudes take ZMA and tribulus and horny goat weed, or whatever else. Kids and adults take adderall. Beta-blockers. What’s the big deal about some tweeds?
In grad school we had to write long-ass papers. I’d try to think of a topic, and for every idea or perspective topic, I’d come up with 5 reasons that topic wasn’t perfect. Or why that topic wouldn’t work, or how hard it would be, or some other bullshit.
So I’d get my mind right, relax, and try to think “simpler.” I’d get rolling with a basic outline. 1 idea. 4-5 points backing it up. Some background. A few graphs. BAM. Easy. All I had to do was not stress it so much. It’s much easier to think clearly when you’re not all worked up and anxious.
[quote]FlatsFarmer wrote:
Kids and adults take adderall.
[/quote]
I seriously hate seeing kids taking speed, oh i mean adderall/ritalin. Your kid is is a kid, no shit they have tons of energy and dont want sit still for 8 hours a day in a classroom, or stare mindlessly at a television or computer screen. They need to run around and expend that energy in healthy ways, not get pumped up full of drugs.
Adderall should be listed as ped at colleges, and have asterisks applied to grades. Adderall sales is big business on college campuses.
[quote]Aggv wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
Not to mention I like being able to eat, sleep, and fuck…
[/quote]
Everyone is different, but generally speaking marijuana helps with all that. [/quote]
“Hast Du Hashish in der Blutbahn kannst Du pudern wie ein Truthahn”.
If you have hashish in your system you can fuck like a turkey.
Makes no sense, but it rhymes.
Edited, because I switched into English half way through a sentence.
My brah was in law school at Memphis. You had the class period, in the class room with all the other students, to finish your test. The pressure was on because of the competitive nature of the program.
If you had “legitimate” ADHD you got unlimited time in your own little room to take tests. Everyone was coming down with it.
[quote]FlatsFarmer wrote:
“legitimate” ADHD [/quote]
oxymoron
[quote]Aggv wrote:
I’m assuming it’s significantly more complicated and it’s impossible to know everything through an internet post, but sending someone to an out of state treatment for weed might be doing more harm than good. [/quote]
Quick answer: Reefer was the least of our worries. The out of state treatment center (hospitalization) was for behavior far, far more serious and threatening.
Without going into great detail (and I won’t on future posts either; thanks for understanding), every morning for several months we were happy that she was simply… well, still with us.
mf
I’m really glad things improved. That sounds like an awful time.
Thanks much, I appreciate the thought.
The only reason we made it thru was… because we had to.
There were times when I would go to the gym to train (it helped with the stress, a lot) and I would need to just find a corner of the gym and compose myself for a couple of minutes before doing much of anything.
Yeah… to say it sucked would be an understatement.
** End of Hijack ** — apologies
mf
[quote]MudFlap wrote:
Thanks much, I appreciate the thought.
The only reason we made it thru was… because we had to.
There were times when I would go to the gym to train (it helped with the stress, a lot) and I would need to just find a corner of the gym and compose myself for a couple of minutes before doing much of anything.
Yeah… to say it sucked would be an understatement.
** End of Hijack ** — apologies
mf[/quote]
I can certainly empathize to what you went through. Going through the same living hell with my 17 year old son. Started out with MJ and slowly moved onto whatever drug he could get his hands on but MJ remained his drug of choice. It totally changed his personality. Went from being a straight A student to failing classes. High school sports were huge to to him at one point and then he slowly walked away from them. He has stolen from family to support what he said was something he was only doing for fun and that he could walk away from at any time. The level of selfishness on his part was inconceivable. Definitely not the person my wife and I raised. In fact we would have laughed in your face if you said we would be going through this with our child two years ago. Shows how naive we were. Even though I recognized some signals in his personality, and traits that I have observed in other addicts (been a LEO for over 22 years), I was still in denial as to the magnitude of his addiction.
We have spent thousands on out patient counseling. He refused to cooperate with any form of inpatient treatment. He threatened to physically fight any attempts at placing him in inpatient treatment. Long story short and without too much detail he eventually ended up getting arrested. The only good that has come from that is that I was able to use the legal system to force him into an inpatient treatment center. He has been there for over 30 days and he starting to sound like the son we had. He is now acknowledging that he is an addict and was in desperate need of help. I am not sure how long he will be in.
I was not a fan of drugs before, but this experience that we have had to endure as a family has significantly reinforced my hatred for these substances. Like I said…it’s been a living hell watching your child slowly turn into an addict. I am still uncertain as to what to expect when he finally comes home. I know this will be a life long battle for him and for us for that matter.
[quote]clinton131 wrote:
[quote]MudFlap wrote:
Thanks much, I appreciate the thought.
The only reason we made it thru was… because we had to.
There were times when I would go to the gym to train (it helped with the stress, a lot) and I would need to just find a corner of the gym and compose myself for a couple of minutes before doing much of anything.
Yeah… to say it sucked would be an understatement.
** End of Hijack ** — apologies
mf[/quote]
I can certainly empathize to what you went through. Going through the same living hell with my 17 year old son. Started out with MJ and slowly moved onto whatever drug he could get his hands on but MJ remained his drug of choice. It totally changed his personality. Went from being a straight A student to failing classes. High school sports were huge to to him at one point and then he slowly walked away from them. He has stolen from family to support what he said was something he was only doing for fun and that he could walk away from at any time. The level of selfishness on his part was inconceivable. Definitely not the person my wife and I raised. In fact we would have laughed in your face if you said we would be going through this with our child two years ago. Shows how naive we were. Even though I recognized some signals in his personality, and traits that I have observed in other addicts (been a LEO for over 22 years), I was still in denial as to the magnitude of his addiction.
We have spent thousands on out patient counseling. He refused to cooperate with any form of inpatient treatment. He threatened to physically fight any attempts at placing him in inpatient treatment. Long story short and without too much detail he eventually ended up getting arrested. The only good that has come from that is that I was able to use the legal system to force him into an inpatient treatment center. He has been there for over 30 days and he starting to sound like the son we had. He is now acknowledging that he is an addict and was in desperate need of help. I am not sure how long he will be in.
I was not a fan of drugs before, but this experience that we have had to endure as a family has significantly reinforced my hatred for these substances. Like I said…it’s been a living hell watching your child slowly turn into an addict. I am still uncertain as to what to expect when he finally comes home. I know this will be a life long battle for him and for us for that matter. [/quote]
I feel you man same thing happened to my son who is now a father and 24 years old.
Needless to say I am not a fan of MJ or any illegal drug.
[quote]clinton131 wrote:
[quote]MudFlap wrote:
Thanks much, I appreciate the thought.
The only reason we made it thru was… because we had to.
There were times when I would go to the gym to train (it helped with the stress, a lot) and I would need to just find a corner of the gym and compose myself for a couple of minutes before doing much of anything.
Yeah… to say it sucked would be an understatement.
** End of Hijack ** — apologies
mf[/quote]
I can certainly empathize to what you went through. Going through the same living hell with my 17 year old son. Started out with MJ and slowly moved onto whatever drug he could get his hands on but MJ remained his drug of choice. It totally changed his personality. Went from being a straight A student to failing classes. High school sports were huge to to him at one point and then he slowly walked away from them. He has stolen from family to support what he said was something he was only doing for fun and that he could walk away from at any time. The level of selfishness on his part was inconceivable. Definitely not the person my wife and I raised. In fact we would have laughed in your face if you said we would be going through this with our child two years ago. Shows how naive we were. Even though I recognized some signals in his personality, and traits that I have observed in other addicts (been a LEO for over 22 years), I was still in denial as to the magnitude of his addiction.
We have spent thousands on out patient counseling. He refused to cooperate with any form of inpatient treatment. He threatened to physically fight any attempts at placing him in inpatient treatment. Long story short and without too much detail he eventually ended up getting arrested. The only good that has come from that is that I was able to use the legal system to force him into an inpatient treatment center. He has been there for over 30 days and he starting to sound like the son we had. He is now acknowledging that he is an addict and was in desperate need of help. I am not sure how long he will be in.
I was not a fan of drugs before, but this experience that we have had to endure as a family has significantly reinforced my hatred for these substances. Like I said…it’s been a living hell watching your child slowly turn into an addict. I am still uncertain as to what to expect when he finally comes home. I know this will be a life long battle for him and for us for that matter. [/quote]
I’m sorry to hear this. I am not a parent yet (plan to be) and I will never understand the challenges that it brings until I have kids of my own in the future. Hearing stories like this really puzzles me and doesn’t make sense (like you’re saying).
But I would like to ask you, do you really think this is 100% to blame on MJ? I really think you’re giving MJ way to much credit, it just isn’t that powerful. Do you think if MJ didn’t exist, your son would still have a lot of the same problems that he has?
Several members have chimed in about how they used MJ for a long period of time, and didn’t have their life spiral into a ‘Reefer Madness’ Style burnout, or anything close to it. I am only here to argue that we as individuals are where the blame and credit should go. Sure, drugs (and some, of course, more than others) can sway us and “deflect” our paths, they are in no way the captain of the ship, we as individuals are.
Troubled people give MJ a bad image, but it won’t turn your life upside down. The people/scenes/paths that come with it may, but not the drug itself.
As I like to say, “Don’t let IT change your opinion of ME, let ME change your opinion of IT”
[quote]FlatsFarmer wrote:
My brah was in law school at Memphis. You had the class period, in the class room with all the other students, to finish your test. The pressure was on because of the competitive nature of the program.
If you had “legitimate” ADHD you got unlimited time in your own little room to take tests. Everyone was coming down with it. [/quote]
It’s huge. I sometimes walk on the treadmill with one of the administrators at the university student health center here. She recently asked me to let her know if I’m willing to take their ADHD evaluation referrals. They are inundated with college students seeking Adderall prescriptions. I could probably have a very nice private practice just specializing in it. Needless to say, I have exactly ZERO interest in doing that.
On a related note, I have heard that some graduate programs have something like one-third of their students listed as “disabled.” A student just needs to get a diagnosis for anxiety or depression to get longer test times. We’ve got a problem when we have so many “disabled” people seeking special treatment in graduate schools of all places.
Lots of people start on Adderall for school, then just continue to use it recreationaly as adults. Giving it to little kids seems crazy, but what do I know.
Carb may be right about pot not being that powerful, but Reefers probably aren’t great for kids either.