Only One Sheet of Toilet Paper!

Off Topic
1

According to Sheryl Crow, you should only use one piece of toilet paper after taking a dump. It apparently hurts the polar bears or seal pups if you wipe with more.

"Crow calls for limit on loo paper

The shows include a short set from Sheryl Crow and film clips
Singer Sheryl Crow has said the amount of toilet paper we use should be limited to help the environment.
Crow suggests using “only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required”.

The 45-year-old, who made the comment on her website, has just toured the US on a biodiesel-powered bus to raise awareness about climate change.

She teamed up with environmental activist Laurie David for the shows."

What other nonsense can these environmentalist wackos think up?

Note to self: Never shake hands with Sheryl Crow.

2

Just because she suggests we use one sheet doesn’t mean she does. Actually, I bet she has a bidet. Squeeky clean cheeks.

3

[quote]Headhunter wrote:
…

Note to self: Never toss Sheryl Crow’s salad.

[/quote]

Hysterical!

4

no wonder lance armstrong dumped her. that’s just nasty

5

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Headhunter wrote:
…

Note to self: Never toss Sheryl Crow’s salad.

Hysterical![/quote]

LOL!!

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[quote]robo1 wrote:
no wonder lance armstrong dumped her. that’s just nasty[/quote]

That’s funny.

Apparently she knows nothing of bulking.

7

What the hell does she know about shitting anyway? With the amount of food she eats, her dumps are probably the size of one M&M candy.

As far as her music…I’m tempted to take Louis Black’s advice and stick a pencil in my ear.

8

She is full of shit. Inside and out.

9

“Yo Mamma” is BACK, baby!!!

WooHoo!

Mufasa

10

Yet again: “One set of standards for us, the elite, and another set of standards for you commoners.”

I love how the apologists excuse Al Gore’s huge electric bill because it is the average amount of consumption for a “house of that size.” Breaking news, hypocrite: get a smaller house!

Do you really need 50 bedrooms? “I’m rich, so I need to fly private jets, own a mansion, and cut down ancient red woods to make custom blended TP for my aristocratic heiny.”

11

Remember the Stallone movie where you’re supposed to scrap yourself with seashells, or something like that? He then swears and some robot device issues him paper citations for swearing in public. So, naturally enough, he keeps swearing to accumulate enough papers to go BACK to the toilet. Hilarious!

12

[quote]Headhunter wrote:
Remember the Stallone movie where you’re supposed to scrap yourself with seashells, or something like that? He then swears and some robot device issues him paper citations for swearing in public. So, naturally enough, he keeps swearing to accumulate enough papers to go BACK to the toilet. Hilarious![/quote]

The “shells” were controllers that worked a water squirt device that cleaned your dear, rear hole. Stallone’s character didn’t know how to operate the “shells”, much to everyone’s surprise and amusement.

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[quote]Headhunter wrote:
Remember the Stallone movie where you’re supposed to scrap yourself with seashells, or something like that? He then swears and some robot device issues him paper citations for swearing in public. So, naturally enough, he keeps swearing to accumulate enough papers to go BACK to the toilet. Hilarious![/quote]

That was Judge Dredd, if I remember correctly.

Instead of taking our toilet paper away, why doesn’t she demand the government to go 100% electronic and stop paper copies from being made?

14

[quote]nephorm wrote:
Yet again: “One set of standards for us, the elite, and another set of standards for you commoners.”

I love how the apologists excuse Al Gore’s huge electric bill because it is the average amount of consumption for a “house of that size.” Breaking news, hypocrite: get a smaller house!

Do you really need 50 bedrooms? “I’m rich, so I need to fly private jets, own a mansion, and cut down ancient red woods to make custom blended TP for my aristocratic heiny.”[/quote]

Just because Gore may be a hypocrite it doesn’t make him any less right…

Hypocrite he may be, but the danger of Global warming is real. 90%+ of the worlds scientists agree that it’s a huge threat and we will face extinction if we dont do something pretty freakin soon…

so, you guys wanna go ahead and disagree with pretty much every respected scientist on the face of the earth, be my guest. You wanna pretend Global warming is not happening, go ahead.

You wanna stake the fate of the planet on the 10% chance that all the worlds scientists MIGHT be wrong, then go ahead. But in about 20-30 years we’re gonna REALLY start to see the effects. MAss hunger, floods in some places drought in others, many millions dead, hundreds of millions displaced and it’ll get FAR worse than that, believe me…in the coming hundred years the world is gonna be a very different place.

Hmmmm, we’ve a lot to look forard to it seems. Ignore it now and it’ll be too late to act. There is a point which we will pass where things become absolutley irreversible and unavoidable.

As for Sheryl Crow, the thought of 1 square of toilet paper per dump seems a little ridiculous…but I appreciate her sentiment.

15

[quote]kroby wrote:
Headhunter wrote:
Remember the Stallone movie where you’re supposed to scrap yourself with seashells, or something like that? He then swears and some robot device issues him paper citations for swearing in public. So, naturally enough, he keeps swearing to accumulate enough papers to go BACK to the toilet. Hilarious!

That was Judge Dredd, if I remember correctly.

Instead of taking our toilet paper away, why doesn’t she demand the government to go 100% electronic and stop paper copies from being made?[/quote]

It was demolition man I think…

16

Do the elite have access to something more than 2-ply?

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[quote]kroby wrote:
That was Judge Dredd, if I remember correctly.
[/quote]

Nope…Demolition Man.

18

That was definitely Demolition Man

19

Yeah, we dont have bidet’s in this country. Even if a girl does use a lot of toilet paper, there’s still a chance you might run into some dingleberries :slight_smile:

I once had a girlfriend who had huge, drooping labias (boing, TURN-ON) but sometimes I would discover little pieces of tissue in her rolls of labia (barf, TURN-OFF).

20

[quote]kroby wrote:
Headhunter wrote:
Remember the Stallone movie where you’re supposed to scrap yourself with seashells, or something like that? He then swears and some robot device issues him paper citations for swearing in public. So, naturally enough, he keeps swearing to accumulate enough papers to go BACK to the toilet. Hilarious!

That was Judge Dredd, if I remember correctly.

Instead of taking our toilet paper away, why doesn’t she demand the government to go 100% electronic and stop paper copies from being made?[/quote]

Great post. I am printing it out for my bulletin board.