When you converse online, you get a feeling of comfort without ever having met the person.
The body language that you don’t see, they eyes, the attitude, the interaction with people, the physical presence, all of those are missing.
There are huge clues in what you don’t get to see while interacting with someone online… you can build up a false trust.
At the same time, when you meet people for a more serious purpose, in the real world, it generally isn’t just “some stranger” that nobody knows. There is often an introduction and pre-screening that says the person is not an absolute psycho.
If you can’t see the difference, don’t imagine it isn’t there.
Several years ago, I started doing the online dating thing. I thought I would meet a lot of nice, pleasant, homely or very plain girls, but the vast majority were very attractive women with “issues”
You talk for awhile and then you meet for lunch or coffee, someplace public and where there is a time-limit so to speak (lunches work well)
I did meet a few attractive and nice ones, but it never seemed to quite work out. About 5 years ago, I saw this gal’s picture and I sent her an e-mail and she responded by saying that she had put the photo up and had a lot of weird guys contact her and she had requested that the site take her profile down, ie, “thanks, but no thanks” Something about her intrigued me and I lightly persisted. Anway, we finally met, fell in love, married for almost 4 years and have a wonderful life together.
[quote]~karma~ wrote:
So… I am still dealing with mutherfucker two years later.
Just realize that even if you think you’ve met someone who’s into hiking, history and 19th century lit who’s also got every conceivable sign of mental stability… You just never know.[/quote]
Psst… Nate… edit your post… and put the word kill in quotes… because at this point if he falls down the stairs and accidentally lands on his pocket knife, you’ll be suspect numero uno.
When people look too normal, they aren’t. Thats a big red flag for me even in person. That means they are trying too hard to appear perfectly normal. Thats why I and most of the people I hang with are goofy, quirky, wierdos. It’s kinda nice. You don’t have to wory about finding out that they’re a goofy quirky wierdo.
[quote]~karma~ wrote:
Nate Dogg wrote:
You want me to “kill” the muthafucker for you?
Edited post: I wouldn’t really kill him!
LOL! Thanks for the offer to escort him down three flights of concrete and steel stairs, Nate!
If a person’s “kharma” (try to avoid the obvious pun) ever catches up them, this is the best person I’d like to see it happen to.[/quote]
Nate/Karma, my as an LEO, my thought would be to have “a chat” with the aforementioned DIQ (dickhead in question). I can assure you that he will choose to never even think of the possibility of a thought even entering his mind about you again. People like that are the lowest form of scum around and need to be dealt with accordingly.
Tyler (not my real name and I live in a tent somewhere else and move all the time and use only payphones and email with someone else’s address, I am never in public or private and when I am, I am always with someone who I don’t know, much. Just kidding, I don’t really use payphones)
Online dating is ok, I actually haven’t tried online dating so to speak, just online hooking up. Happened 2 times in a year or so, so I view it as a supplemental to regular hooking up. Both girls did have emotional issues BTW, I tried helping the first one for about a week, with her problems then realized I was looking down over the very slippery slope and turned and ran.
[quote]Vegita wrote:
I tried helping the first one for about a week, with her problems then realized I was looking down over the very slippery slope and turned and ran.
[/quote]
I think you’re better off with online than meeting people in bars – but it’s probably not as good as meeting people in person via mutual interests.
Pluses:
Bigger pool, ie puts you in position to meet people you would not otherwise run in to;
Searchable profiles – assuming people are being honest (which you should be able to discern for yourself fairly quickly, especially concerning intelligence), you can filter out a lot of potential deal breakers (like smoking, for instance, or guys with kids, or divorcees, or liberals/conservatives, etc.)
Minuses:
Liars and people who aren’t really lying but definitely misrepresent themselves. As I said, you should be able to filter, and definitely should be able to tell if you get to the point of meeting them in person;
You would get an overwhelming number of responses from retards if you posted your picture (assuming that picture in your avatar is yours), most of which would read: “Your[sic] hot. Rite[sic] me.,” or some close variation thereof. However, if you don’t post a picture, guys will assume you’re fat and/or ugly. Tough to win – but if you don’t post your pic and email guys you find interesting, and you can write well enough to capture their interest and get your personality across, you can always email a pic directly to them after one or two emails.
No feel for “personal chemistry.” Though after enough interaction, including some phone calls, and pics, you would probably have something of an idea.
Anyway, no harm in trying. I actually know quite a few people who met significant others and spouses via online – usually Match – it’s an especially good way to meet busy professionals, provided you don’t expect them to respond as soon as your email hits their inbox.
Another minus: If you’re too young, trying to meet people online can suck. Match.com, for example, really targets professionals in their mid-30s. A lot of sites cater to “older” professionals (50+). Very few sites target the younger crowd (18-30) specifically for dating. Why? Because this is the age range for people who typically do go out a lot and meet people socially. As a result, you’re not really left with a whole lot of great online options, although there are exceptions.
Now, if you’re a younger woman looking for a mid-thirties or older guy, you’d be just fine. Otherwise, if you’re in that 18-30 range, you’re probably better off going out. Not that I have any of this figured out.
