Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
You: are you from indonesia
Stranger: I wish
Stranger: are you from new guinea
You: no
You: im from usa
Stranger: oh
You: what about ou
Stranger: north america
You: oh cool
You: hey
You: do you go to colledge
Stranger: nope
Stranger: do you
You: yeah
You: how old are you
Stranger: 25
You: damn i guessed 43
You: i had this image of 43 in my head
You: so hows life
You: do you get laid often
Stranger: lol
Stranger: yes all the time
You: yeah but life isnt all about that right?
You: i mean tehres also world of warcraft
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: and halo
You: yeah
You: thats a good game
You: are you a dude
Stranger: yeah
You: whew good
You: for a second i thought i was revealing my innermost secrets to a chick
You: wanna cyber?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: ALRIGHT
Stranger: LETS DO THIS
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: sry for caps
You: do you like rape?
You: like REAL rape. HARD.
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: i mean
Stranger: that depens
You: livestock not excluded
Stranger: depends
Stranger: hahaha
You: on what animal?
Stranger: i like GRAPES
Stranger: is that what you meant?
You: baby goats are very nubile and keep the noise down to a minimum
Stranger: rofl
Stranger: WE NEED A MEDIC OVER HERE!
You: i need riboflavin like NOW
You: Im fucking deficient and im jonesing like amotherfucker!
You: hook a brother up?
Stranger: nice let me stroke it.
You: STOP FUCKING AROUND GIMME MY FUCKING RIBO!
Stranger: RIBO…explain
You: BIG R…SHAVIN FLAVIN…any number of fucking street names!! Fuck…it just ropes you in. You try that first Ribo hit, and the riboflavin HAS YOU
Stranger: SWEET JESUS THAT TAP DANCES!
Stranger: i wants all the RIBO in the world.
You: Im done…I cant hold out any longer, Im gonna have to freebase pantothenic acid. Fucking hate that shit BUT I CANT GET ANY FUCKIN RIBO UP IN HIS HOOD!!
You: Fucking B-5…look at what my life has become
Stranger: Why dont you free fall from a tall building.
Stranger: that usually works. -giggles-
You: …PLUNK!
You: Hi my name’s Chris badge number 4596 FBI
Stranger: err… i’m from unit 6
You: i’m right next door.
Stranger: we technically don’t exist
You: i’m chris from up the hall
You: so hows it going up at unit 6?
Stranger: top secret
You: kill any terroists yet?
You: or did you find Osama?
Stranger: team america style
You: AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
Stranger: dicks pussys and arseholes
Stranger: which one are you?
You: well the dicks fuck the pussys
Stranger: and the arseholes just shit on everything
Stranger: im assuming youre american?
You: nope
You: across the pond matey
Stranger: ahhh good ol’ britain
You: indded
You: indeed
Stranger: same same
You: you read about that aspergers kid shitting all over your secuirity network?
You: funny shit man.
Stranger: er no… we dont deal with trivial matters
You: well you don’t read the news then obv.
Stranger: who reads the news these days
Stranger: whats the point in bbc news 24
You: nothing really.
You: the shits on a loop
Stranger: papers are a day late
You: you can’t trust the media these days anyway
Stranger: since when could you ever trust the media
actually turned out to have a half decent conversation lol.
Stranger: A wild Charmander appears…
You: were the fuck are my pokeballs
You: oh shit
Stranger: Charmander uses flamethrower
You: i need this motha fucka
You: abra uses teleport
You: i pressed the wrong button fuckkkkkkk
Stranger: Charmander uses fire blast
Stranger: the attack missed
You: abra uses pycho
Stranger: Charmander has fainted.
Stranger: GO NIDOKING!
Stranger: rarr
You: damn I didnt watch pokemon that far to know who is that
You: am fucked
Stranger: Nidoking uses fissure.
Stranger: (that his is always a one hit kill)
Stranger: hit*
You: abra has fainted
You: go pikachu
You: pikachu uses thunder bolt
Stranger: Trainor escapes saftley.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: u lik2 2 party
You: ?
You: i like 2 party
Stranger: yeah i like to party
You: wanna party?
Stranger: no
You: lets party
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
thats like the 3rd convo in a row that went that way
Stranger: hi
You: hola
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: rock paper scissors?
You: 1
You: 2
You: 3
You: scissors
Stranger: rock
You: fuck
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Howdey
Stranger: hi
You: How are you?
Stranger: sad
You: why are you sad?
Stranger: That’s hard to say in English
Stranger: …
You: lol
Stranger: What’s you’re asl?
You: I’m 57 years old
You: male
You: california
Stranger: oh
Stranger: I’m 50 years old
Stranger: female
Stranger: Japan
You: That’s kind of gross
You: you might want to get that checked
Stranger: ?
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
You: sup nigga
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Hi.
Stranger: I’m not gay
Stranger:
You: Me neither
You:
Stranger: I’m male
You: Me too:)
Stranger:
Stranger: lol
You: T-Nation?
Stranger: yea
You: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: ouch
Stranger: ?
You: oh sorry hello?
Stranger: Hi
Stranger: Asl
You: 19 f usa
You: and you?
Stranger: 21 m USA
You: ooo big boy
Stranger: LOL ok?
You: yea you’re 21 you must feel pretty manly
You: do you have muscles?
Stranger: Yup what’s ur name?l
You: it’s kendra
Stranger: I like that name!
You: thanks! so are you muscular? i only like talking to muscular guys
Stranger: Yes! I have rock hard abs and arms NO JOKE!
You: wow!! how much can you bench press?
Stranger: Oh and btw I’m zacl
You: zacl?
Stranger: Zac
You: ohh ok
You: so how much?
Stranger: 75l
You: my last boyfriend was such a weakling…i couldn’t deal with it
You: 75 punds? that’s heavy!
You: pounds*
You: my ex could only do 30
You: i like you already
Stranger: LOL thanx
Stranger: So describe what u look like
You: well…i’m about 5’6 and i have black hair and green eyes
You: i have a skinny waist, but i’m self-conscious about my ass
You: i think it’s too big
Stranger: Lol it can’t be
Stranger: No ass is to big for me
You: really? my ex said he hated my ass, and said that it was too firm
Stranger: Never too big if ya no what I mean ;D
You: lol~ describe to me what you mean big boy
Stranger: Sex !
You: whoa! i can’t beleive you just said that
You: you’re a pervert
You: haha i’m just kidding!
Stranger: Oh ok good!
You: so what brings a man such as yourself to an online chat?
You: do you just come on here to try to see nude pictures of girls?
Stranger: I’m rele bored
Stranger: And NO WAY!!!
You: pfew… ok I thought you were a typical guy
Stranger: No I’m not like other guys
You: ok… so do you go to college zac?
Stranger: Yes I do
You: good you’re smart too
Stranger: LOL u?
You: yea… i just finished up my freshman year in may, but i’m quitting now and moving to Los Angeles
Stranger: Nice what kind of car do u drive?
You: a black audi
You: what about you?
Stranger: Black bmw convertable
You: you’re a liar!
Stranger: What?
You: haha just playing
You: can we play a game?
Stranger: =O
Stranger: Sure?l
You: ok…so pretend you’re picking me up on our first date in your bmw…what would we do?
Stranger: Bring u to dinner then take a walk on the beach and then whatever u want after that
You: well where do you live? i don’t live on a beach
Stranger: Wildwood
You: ohh really?!! i live in sea isle city
Stranger: I’m sorry idk where that is I’m not very good with places
You: you’re lying to me Zac
You: sea isle city is not too far from wildwood
You: maybe 2 hours at most
You: you’re really upsetting me
You: i’m just trying to be real with you
Stranger: I’m rele sorry!!!
You: and you just lie…saying you live on a beach and drive a bmw
You: ok forget that ! let’s get down to business
You: i want to cyber
Stranger: Cyber what?
You: like pretend we’re having sex
You: what would you do to me ?
Stranger: Kiss u and take off ur clothes
You: then i take off your clothes and kiss you all over your body…
You: tell me you want me
Stranger: I want u!! And then we put a condom on to be safe!l
You: oohh you’re a good boy!!
You: get down on your kness and lick my ass
You: if you really like big asses that is…
Stranger: Licks ass all over!
You: oohhh yea!
You: i’m ripping off your pants
Stranger: Then slowly inserts 6 in. Dick in to vagina
You: only 6?
Stranger: Sorry! 10in
You: you won’t be able to get that in my ass
You: the 6 in i mean
You: i want it in tthe ass
Stranger: Ok puts in 10in dick into ass and fucks it rele hard
You: yeahh!! ok now you stop and bend over
Stranger: Ok
You: and i want you to start yelling like a man!
You: grunting
Stranger: Oh ya u horny sexy babe!!!
You: i just rammed my cock up your ass!!! OH YEAH!
You: Scream!
Stranger: LOL suck it!
You: you’re a sick bastard, you know that?
Stranger: =O
You: oh is that you opening your mouth for me now?
You: OHH YEAH!!!
Stranger: !!
Your conversational partner has disconnected
[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:
i tried for the bait and switch technique[/quote]
Well played on that one, sir.
The bait and switch is definitely one of the most entertaining things you can do on that site. Very funny stuff, especially if you string them along using the images:
(there’s a third one, but I’m too lazy to post it)
That chick is seriously unbelievable, and the people trolling that board are too desperate to dig that there’s no way a girl like that would hit up the internet to cyber.
The only problem I’ve found is that typing like a dumb chick for an extended period temporarily messes up my ability to text/post like a straight, adult male… but it’s worth it.
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: hello?
Stranger: Hi
You: hello…
You: where you from?
Stranger: USA, do u have boobs?
You: yes
You: do you have a dick?
Stranger: Yes
You: how small?
Stranger: Not very actually, it’s not huge, but it definately more than average
You: where in the uSA
Stranger: Iowa
You: the land of corn
You: i love corn…MmMm ribbed for my pleasure
You: cuCUMber is better
Stranger: Corn condoms, would awesome and ridiculous
You: what are you doing in iowa?
Stranger: Hopefully you soon
You: oh really
Stranger: Sure
You: you need to get my cat wet
You: MmMm
You: yes
You: yes
You: put it in
Stranger: Spread your legs so I can go deeper
You: no…
You: not yet
Stranger: OhhHHhh
You: you have to yell like a pirate…HARRR!!
You: say it
You: gets me wet…
Stranger: HARR¡!
You: Oooo
You: me so wet
You: what you gonna do
Stranger: Every damn thing I possibly can to you
You: OooO…say it…
Stranger: It…ohhHhH fuck yes yes ohhh
You: pirate?
Stranger: Harrrrr!!
You: OoOo
Stranger: I’ll shiver you’re timbers all night
Stranger: fuck me
You: ok
You: sounds good
Stranger: ok cool
Stranger: m/f?
You: does it matter
Stranger: no shit it matters
You: f
Stranger: oh yes
Stranger: haha
You: oh yes?
Stranger: nvm
Stranger: ugh im so bored
You: i like it when guys yell like a pirate…HARRR…say it
Stranger: HARRR
You: OoOo
You: got me all wet
Stranger: woop ; )
Stranger: id love to stick my finger down there babe
You: i bet you would
You: put it in my butt and lick it…
Stranger: mmm yeah
Stranger: how do you look anyways?
You: im 4’6 210lbs
You: blonde
Stranger: oo
Stranger: nice
You: you like the big girls?
Stranger: id love to suck on your nipples as your golden hair flows
Stranger: yeah haha
You: i ate corn today
You: i hope you didnt get corn on your finger
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
You: oh man, was that ever a huge fecal blast
Stranger: man?
You: woman?
You: oh woman, was that ever a huge fecal blast
Stranger: sorry i dont know
You: well, my colon certainly knew. Probably a good 3 cubic feet of feces, I shit you not, pardon the pun
Stranger: where r u from?
You: drinking a pot of coffee after quitting opioids and indulging in a Chinese buffet will do that to a man
You: I know a toilet in an inanimate, porcelain object…but you could almost hear it groan after receiving that unholy load.
You: it was almost heard to say “wow, my other porcelain brethern were chosen to become tea cups in some fancy English sitting room, to be handled lightly by the upper crust of British society. How in the name of fuck did I get this gig?!”
You: Ever take a dump like that?
Stranger: i am new here so~
You: what country are you from?
Stranger: what happen to u?
Stranger: china and u?
You: Well, the bastardized western version of your cuisine, eaten at huge volumes was a definite contributor to my shit-nami
You: ã??å°»
You: ç??ã??
Stranger: u r japanese?
You: I AM NOT JAPANESE!! I AM NOT A TANAKA!!
You: Are you a Tanaka?
Stranger: i am CHINESE!
You: You cannot get katana sword by stealing. It is very special sword. You must…earn it.
Stranger: where r u from?
You: The land of distressed colons…aka Bismarck, North Dakota
You: Do you enjoy movies with dream sequences?
Your conversational partner has disconnected
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: from?
You: Sweden
Stranger: korea
Stranger: nice to meet you
You: me too
Stranger: ^-^
You: 57 years old female here
Stranger: your 57 years old?
You: yes. wanna cyber sex?
Stranger: no
Stranger: get away
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: ahoy!
You: haRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
You: 61 years old pirate ere lil fella
You: wanna cyber sex?
Stranger: i’d love to, but i gotta set fire to a dustbin full of babies
Stranger: how’s that for a turn on? goo goo gah gah
You: yummy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
