No Child support !! If You Have a Penis

Off Topic
141

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
^ Find a great lawyer is all I can say. He said she said with no police reports showing domestic calls or medical bills/ER visits. This is the true double standard because you are guilty until proven innocent. [/quote]

…and it’s shit like that which scares me. I can only imagine how cops would act in that situation if they walk in and see some guy over 250lbs standing next to his 130lbs wife as she claims he hit her.

I am being serious when I say I really don’t see the overall benefit of actually being married for the guy. Long term relationship? yes. Marriage that basically makes it legal for me to be ass raped in court should the wife ever either stop loving me, have an affair or decide she wants my paycheck because it goes great with her new boyfriend.[/quote]

Honestly X these are the random very rare situations, yes the guy will go through some shit, BUT if he is innocent things come out okay. NO not 100% of the time, but you know what I mean. My dad always told me you want to find a wife “Dont let your dick run your life”. Yes going into a marriage is more than just love. Marry your best friend and you will be happy. My .02 and yes this is what I did when I remarried met her in undergrad and we were clinical partners for a semester and became friends.

142

DJHT, dianab I have lawyer on the case but she advised me to stay away because she said I am truly powerless until we meet at court. I wish I could see my daughters, in the last 2 months I have spent a total of 15 minutes with them, only because they where with the mother in law, which she is under strict orders from the ex to not let me in. And also they all have the needs and wants, a house, food on the table, clothes, and tons of extras.

It just makes me sick that I wont see them over X-mas at all. I apologize if Im venting but its so devastating to a Man when one does right it still does not matter. And Professer X is right what is the overall benefit?

Whats funny this happened to a co-worker about a year ago as well, she ran off with boss after boobs surgery and all that stuff and he got screwed. This man works 2 jobs as well just to meet the demands. Thats what Im expecting as well the big ole shaft without any lube.

143

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
^ Find a great lawyer is all I can say. He said she said with no police reports showing domestic calls or medical bills/ER visits. This is the true double standard because you are guilty until proven innocent. [/quote]

…and it’s shit like that which scares me. I can only imagine how cops would act in that situation if they walk in and see some guy over 250lbs standing next to his 130lbs wife as she claims he hit her.

I am being serious when I say I really don’t see the overall benefit of actually being married for the guy. Long term relationship? yes. Marriage that basically makes it legal for me to be ass raped in court should the wife ever either stop loving me, have an affair or decide she wants my paycheck because it goes great with her new boyfriend.[/quote]

Honestly X these are the random very rare situations, yes the guy will go through some shit, BUT if he is innocent things come out okay. NO not 100% of the time, but you know what I mean. My dad always told me you want to find a wife “Dont let your dick run your life”. Yes going into a marriage is more than just love. Marry your best friend and you will be happy. My .02 and yes this is what I did when I remarried met her in undergrad and we were clinical partners for a semester and became friends. [/quote]

yeah, but that’s great for you because you worked with her and knew her long before you ever dated. My question though was what is the benefit of a marriage certificate for the guy? What good does it do for me to get into that legally binding document? Is there something you are doing now that you couldn’t do if you were with her but not married?

I don’t know, but I feel like things such as this SHOULD be discussed openly before marriage and that includes a discussion of what happens if there is a divorce.

It seems like the subject is still largely taboo…as if by bringing it up, you are saying you no longer love her.

That’s retarded in this day and age considering bringing it up early on could save you YEARS of frustration and heart ache.

I don’t know what I would do if I had kids but some woman made it so I could not see them but had to keep paying her. how fucked up is that? It would be a fucking nightmare that doesn’t seem worth the marriage in the first place.

144

Oh on the sidenote since X and DJHT are Military, I just found out today that she threw away all my Military coins… this where and are very important to me they include all the way up the VP along with sec def and joint chief of staff…with many many other important ones.

145

^ You have a long road, and I have been there. I am divorced father also. I am going on 13 years now that I have been divorced and my X just recently reported me to the Texas Attorney General for back child support. Because I am an anal retentitive bastard and I never trusted the X I kept all receipts for 12 years. When I went to the hearing they were all shocked when I broke out all the processed checks.

You are in a situation that will require money, records and witnesses. Praying and Faith will not get you jack shit. I really do feel for you and if you ever want to vent, PM me I would be glad to help a brother out.

146

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
^ Find a great lawyer is all I can say. He said she said with no police reports showing domestic calls or medical bills/ER visits. This is the true double standard because you are guilty until proven innocent. [/quote]

…and it’s shit like that which scares me. I can only imagine how cops would act in that situation if they walk in and see some guy over 250lbs standing next to his 130lbs wife as she claims he hit her.

I am being serious when I say I really don’t see the overall benefit of actually being married for the guy. Long term relationship? yes. Marriage that basically makes it legal for me to be ass raped in court should the wife ever either stop loving me, have an affair or decide she wants my paycheck because it goes great with her new boyfriend.[/quote]

Honestly X these are the random very rare situations, yes the guy will go through some shit, BUT if he is innocent things come out okay. NO not 100% of the time, but you know what I mean. My dad always told me you want to find a wife “Dont let your dick run your life”. Yes going into a marriage is more than just love. Marry your best friend and you will be happy. My .02 and yes this is what I did when I remarried met her in undergrad and we were clinical partners for a semester and became friends. [/quote]

yeah, but that’s great for you because you worked with her and knew her long before you ever dated. My question though was what is the benefit of a marriage certificate for the guy? What good does it do for me to get into that legally binding document? Is there something you are doing now that you couldn’t do if you were with her but not married?

I don’t know, but I feel like things such as this SHOULD be discussed openly before marriage and that includes a discussion of what happens if there is a divorce.

It seems like the subject is still largely taboo…as if by bringing it up, you are saying you no longer love her.

That’s retarded in this day and age considering bringing it up early on could save you YEARS of frustration and heart ache.

I don’t know what I would do if I had kids but some woman made it so I could not see them but had to keep paying her. how fucked up is that? It would be a fucking nightmare that doesn’t seem worth the marriage in the first place.[/quote]

You never rush into marriage and I found somebody who had the same life experiences as me. So yes I had time and we both laid it out on the table, no lies or bull shit.

Financial rewards, she brings home 6 figures now as I do. That is financial security for the rest of our lives.

I have somebody that when I am in a bad mood, had a bad day, am sad she is there for me.

Do we fight hell yes, she is Mexican, but she is an educated person and eventually comes to reason. If I end in divorce with my current wife I will never get married again, I really dont think I could hit the perfect storm again. It will be the Ho’s life for me.

Marry a educated professional that doesnt need your money and you have a better chance of success.

147

[quote]DJHT wrote:
^ You have a long road, and I have been there. I am divorced father also. I am going on 13 years now that I have been divorced and my X just recently reported me to the Texas Attorney General for back child support. Because I am an anal retentitive bastard and I never trusted the X I kept all receipts for 12 years. When I went to the hearing they were all shocked when I broke out all the processed checks.

You are in a situation that will require money, records and witnesses. Praying and Faith will not get you jack shit. I really do feel for you and if you ever want to vent, PM me I would be glad to help a brother out. [/quote]

Agreed. The process goes on for at least a good year until it’s all finalized.

Document everything.
Take pictures of everything if you can.

It’s a sucky road, but it gets better.

148

I just might take you up on the offer DJHT, so the best thing to do is to document everything and also will me paying the house and all bills help me out in court. And what about her not letting me see my kids will this hurt her in court?

149

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Marry your best friend and you will be happy. [/quote]

Your best friend may make more money, may make less. Shared goals, dreams and values are key, not money. You can always make money…

To those trapped in the money paradigm, what if your “best friend”, love interest, paramour, whatever, was very driven, passionate, but was let’s say an artist that didn’t make much money? Doesn’t that person have goals? Dreams? Ambition? Money doesn’t always have to be the goal…that’s an illusion. Too many of us suffer from this treadmill mentality where nothing is enough. When I started my career, I was making 23k a year…and I thought to myself, “man, when I hit 30k, I’m going to be set…gonna have this, buy that, shit will be great…ballin baby.”. When I got to 30k, I thought, “if I can just get to 40k, then I will be able to do this, and I’ll be ballin baby”…When I got to 40k, I set my sights on 60 and so forth until I flirted with six figures and then passed it with side work. Guess what? I’m not more happier, content, secure or fulfilled than when I made 23k. We are afflicted with the disease of “more”…

Goals? Dreams? Ambition? Yes, yes, yes…but if the foregoing are defined by money, you’re in for some butthurt in life. Because guess what…if it’s money, there will never be enough. Don’t believe me? Trust me, the guy chasing it making 50k is in the same exact condition as the guy making 250k chasing it…it’s just relativity. Neither is any happier than the other.

Do I want to marry a cashier with no ambition? No. But what if she’s a cashier to make ends meet while she creates beautiful works of art? What if she works at Wallmart because she spends time doing a noble job that doesn’t pay much, like working with the disabled or with children?

You cannot control how much money you make…but you can control your material desires. Ratchet down your material desires, remember what is important, and many of you will find that you make enough. I used to think that next car, that next toy, that house was going to be it…but it never ends if you’re in that mindset.

So far, people here have given extreme examples…most of which will never apply. For example, it’s unlikely X will ever find himself socially connected to the cashier at the 7-eleven.

I like BMW’s…I like to do what I want when I want. I have lots of material “likes”. But given the choice between spending my life alone or passing on a chance for love so I can drive my bmw and otherwise live a material existence pales in comparison to spending it with someone you have found a real connection and friendship with. Give me the woman I love, a smaller home, a honda and perhaps one less child.

That’s how I feel anyway, there’s a point there somewhere…lol

150

[quote]DJHT wrote:
^ You have a long road, and I have been there. I am divorced father also. I am going on 13 years now that I have been divorced and my X just recently reported me to the Texas Attorney General for back child support. Because I am an anal retentitive bastard and I never trusted the X I kept all receipts for 12 years. When I went to the hearing they were all shocked when I broke out all the processed checks.

You are in a situation that will require money, records and witnesses. Praying and Faith will not get you jack shit. I really do feel for you and if you ever want to vent, PM me I would be glad to help a brother out. [/quote]

Me too…never very organized with paperwork but many moons ago I laid the motherfuckin smack down on my vindictive ex when I produced over 12k in canceled checks…saving my checks? Effort. The look on her fucking face? Priceless.

151

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Marry a educated professional that doesnt need your money and you have a better chance of success. [/quote]

DJHT hit on something very important here. Do not marry someone who needs to be with you financially. Marry someone you want to be with and they want to be with you.

Someone who has proven to themselves they can do well without someone else has the maturity, I think, for this kind of relationship. This is especially true as people get married latter in life and the man and women are expected to have careers.

152

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Marry your best friend and you will be happy. [/quote]

Your best friend may make more money, may make less. Shared goals, dreams and values are key, not money. You can always make money…

To those trapped in the money paradigm, what if your “best friend”, love interest, paramour, whatever, was very driven, passionate, but was let’s say an artist that didn’t make much money? Doesn’t that person have goals? Dreams? Ambition? Money doesn’t always have to be the goal…that’s an illusion. Too many of us suffer from this treadmill mentality where nothing is enough. When I started my career, I was making 23k a year…and I thought to myself, “man, when I hit 30k, I’m going to be set…gonna have this, buy that, shit will be great…ballin baby.”. When I got to 30k, I thought, “if I can just get to 40k, then I will be able to do this, and I’ll be ballin baby”…When I got to 40k, I set my sights on 60 and so forth until I flirted with six figures and then passed it with side work. Guess what? I’m not more happier, content, secure or fulfilled than when I made 23k. We are afflicted with the disease of “more”…

Goals? Dreams? Ambition? Yes, yes, yes…but if the foregoing are defined by money, you’re in for some butthurt in life. Because guess what…if it’s money, there will never be enough. Don’t believe me? Trust me, the guy chasing it making 50k is in the same exact condition as the guy making 250k chasing it…it’s just relativity. Neither is any happier than the other.

Do I want to marry a cashier with no ambition? No. But what if she’s a cashier to make ends meet while she creates beautiful works of art? What if she works at Wallmart because she spends time doing a noble job that doesn’t pay much, like working with the disabled or with children?

You cannot control how much money you make…but you can control your material desires. Ratchet down your material desires, remember what is important, and many of you will find that you make enough. I used to think that next car, that next toy, that house was going to be it…but it never ends if you’re in that mindset.

So far, people here have given extreme examples…most of which will never apply. For example, it’s unlikely X will ever find himself socially connected to the cashier at the 7-eleven.

I like BMW’s…I like to do what I want when I want. I have lots of material “likes”. But given the choice between spending my life alone or passing on a chance for love so I can drive my bmw and otherwise live a material existence pales in comparison to spending it with someone you have found a real connection and friendship with. Give me the woman I love, a smaller home, a honda and perhaps one less child.

That’s how I feel anyway, there’s a point there somewhere…lol[/quote]

I think this speaks to my last couple of post. If the person is an artist with ambition and is trying to find success (however defined) and is content living at the level they can sustain through their work, good. If they think they should be living like the gals in Sex and the City without paying their own way, not good.

If you can avoid the ‘mores’ the happier one can be.

153

[quote]jre67t wrote:
I just might take you up on the offer DJHT, so the best thing to do is to document everything and also will me paying the house and all bills help me out in court. And what about her not letting me see my kids will this hurt her in court? [/quote]

Document the fact that she denied visitation, keep paying out the ass. Do not get negative things about you, phone messages etc. You have to come out looking like the white knight.

154

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Marry your best friend and you will be happy. [/quote]

Your best friend may make more money, may make less. Shared goals, dreams and values are key, not money. You can always make money…

To those trapped in the money paradigm, what if your “best friend”, love interest, paramour, whatever, was very driven, passionate, but was let’s say an artist that didn’t make much money? Doesn’t that person have goals? Dreams? Ambition? Money doesn’t always have to be the goal…that’s an illusion. Too many of us suffer from this treadmill mentality where nothing is enough. When I started my career, I was making 23k a year…and I thought to myself, “man, when I hit 30k, I’m going to be set…gonna have this, buy that, shit will be great…ballin baby.”. When I got to 30k, I thought, “if I can just get to 40k, then I will be able to do this, and I’ll be ballin baby”…When I got to 40k, I set my sights on 60 and so forth until I flirted with six figures and then passed it with side work. Guess what? I’m not more happier, content, secure or fulfilled than when I made 23k. We are afflicted with the disease of “more”…

Goals? Dreams? Ambition? Yes, yes, yes…but if the foregoing are defined by money, you’re in for some butthurt in life. Because guess what…if it’s money, there will never be enough. Don’t believe me? Trust me, the guy chasing it making 50k is in the same exact condition as the guy making 250k chasing it…it’s just relativity. Neither is any happier than the other.

Do I want to marry a cashier with no ambition? No. But what if she’s a cashier to make ends meet while she creates beautiful works of art? What if she works at Wallmart because she spends time doing a noble job that doesn’t pay much, like working with the disabled or with children?

You cannot control how much money you make…but you can control your material desires. Ratchet down your material desires, remember what is important, and many of you will find that you make enough. I used to think that next car, that next toy, that house was going to be it…but it never ends if you’re in that mindset.

So far, people here have given extreme examples…most of which will never apply. For example, it’s unlikely X will ever find himself socially connected to the cashier at the 7-eleven.

I like BMW’s…I like to do what I want when I want. I have lots of material “likes”. But given the choice between spending my life alone or passing on a chance for love so I can drive my bmw and otherwise live a material existence pales in comparison to spending it with someone you have found a real connection and friendship with. Give me the woman I love, a smaller home, a honda and perhaps one less child.

That’s how I feel anyway, there’s a point there somewhere…lol[/quote]

If you ask me, you are still dealing with a overly entitled individual if their goal in life is to be supported by another person while they pursue their ‘gift of helping the needy.’

There is no shortage of women who’s only dream in life is to help the children and bring love and happiness to the world and in search of a wallet to fund their noble passion for not working at a real job. Every second women I’ve met in my life dreamt of getting a degree in early childhood education in order to support her goal of being a stay at home mom, professionally, regardless of the complete flood in the market of people with that ‘skillset’. What it really came down to is they were waiting for the dreamy wallet to take care of them. This ‘naturally’ nurturing and kind giving and caretaking woman isn’t real. She’s playing a role to get taken care of and not have to work hard.

On the other hand, a woman with a paycheck can do ten times more than a single volunteer by giving where it really counts: cash.

Be honest, what would you really think of a man who’s dream was to make beautiful (but probably worthless) pieces of art, while working at 7-eleven and dating women who could support this dream?

It’s not at all about the money, but about the balance of power and the balance of responsibility. And without that balance, relationships are brittle.

I love art and I am a painter (I even sell some paintings and prints) and create a lot of photographs (not just the slutty pics I post here) and I can actually call myself an artist. But there is no way I would accept that I should not pay for my pursuit of these things with my own money while my guy works at a miserable job to pay the bills.

Again, it’s not money. It’s entitlement and taking care of yourself.

155

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Marry your best friend and you will be happy. [/quote]

Your best friend may make more money, may make less. Shared goals, dreams and values are key, not money. You can always make money…

To those trapped in the money paradigm, what if your “best friend”, love interest, paramour, whatever, was very driven, passionate, but was let’s say an artist that didn’t make much money? Doesn’t that person have goals? Dreams? Ambition? Money doesn’t always have to be the goal…that’s an illusion. Too many of us suffer from this treadmill mentality where nothing is enough. When I started my career, I was making 23k a year…and I thought to myself, “man, when I hit 30k, I’m going to be set…gonna have this, buy that, shit will be great…ballin baby.”. When I got to 30k, I thought, “if I can just get to 40k, then I will be able to do this, and I’ll be ballin baby”…When I got to 40k, I set my sights on 60 and so forth until I flirted with six figures and then passed it with side work. Guess what? I’m not more happier, content, secure or fulfilled than when I made 23k. We are afflicted with the disease of “more”…

Goals? Dreams? Ambition? Yes, yes, yes…but if the foregoing are defined by money, you’re in for some butthurt in life. Because guess what…if it’s money, there will never be enough. Don’t believe me? Trust me, the guy chasing it making 50k is in the same exact condition as the guy making 250k chasing it…it’s just relativity. Neither is any happier than the other.

Do I want to marry a cashier with no ambition? No. But what if she’s a cashier to make ends meet while she creates beautiful works of art? What if she works at Wallmart because she spends time doing a noble job that doesn’t pay much, like working with the disabled or with children?

You cannot control how much money you make…but you can control your material desires. Ratchet down your material desires, remember what is important, and many of you will find that you make enough. I used to think that next car, that next toy, that house was going to be it…but it never ends if you’re in that mindset.

So far, people here have given extreme examples…most of which will never apply. For example, it’s unlikely X will ever find himself socially connected to the cashier at the 7-eleven.

I like BMW’s…I like to do what I want when I want. I have lots of material “likes”. But given the choice between spending my life alone or passing on a chance for love so I can drive my bmw and otherwise live a material existence pales in comparison to spending it with someone you have found a real connection and friendship with. Give me the woman I love, a smaller home, a honda and perhaps one less child.

That’s how I feel anyway, there’s a point there somewhere…lol[/quote]

I think this speaks to my last couple of post. If the person is an artist with ambition and is trying to find success (however defined) and is content living at the level they can sustain through their work, good. If they think they should be living like the gals in Sex and the City without paying their own way, not good.

If you can avoid the ‘mores’ the happier one can be.[/quote]

Balance in life, I hate cleaning bathrooms, my wife doesnt mind. She hates mowing the grass, I dont mind. Its called a partnership for a reason and while this is a trivial example it is magnified with the rest of our lives. Finding a “best friend” “partner” that understands the coplexities of life is always the goals, not finding the chick from the local bowling alley that can suck start my harley. Women want equality and I am all for it, so guys time to start thinking like women when it comes to finding a mate. We grew up with the mentality and social training of finding the nuture driven wife/mother to take care of and protect. Not any more, now we need to look for that financial/social/sexual partner.

156

[quote]DJHT wrote:
We grew up with the mentality and social training of finding the nuture driven wife/mother to take care of and protect. Not any more, now we need to look for that financial/social/sexual partner.

[/quote]

Well said! That’s what I’ve been trying to say.

157

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
We grew up with the mentality and social training of finding the nuture driven wife/mother to take care of and protect. Not any more, now we need to look for that financial/social/sexual partner.

[/quote]

Well said! That’s what I’ve been trying to say.[/quote]

I know I just have a few years on you and a wife who taught me how to express myself. :slight_smile:

158

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
We grew up with the mentality and social training of finding the nuture driven wife/mother to take care of and protect. Not any more, now we need to look for that financial/social/sexual partner.

[/quote]

Well said! That’s what I’ve been trying to say.[/quote]

I know I just have a few years on you and a wife who taught me how to express myself. :slight_smile: [/quote]

So, she CHANGED you!

She had to TEACH you, because you couldn’t do it on your own??

Bitches.

j/k

159

[quote]jre67t wrote:
Great thread, alot of great points made here, especially the part where society has put pressure on soccer moms to have certain things that are wants are now becoming needs, ex. a minivan with tvs in it, private school along with after school activities. Even though we know we cannot afford it.
My current situation is where we have 4 kids, one deceased and 3 alive. Well we have a house and all but one day she decided she was not happy and she called the cops over stating I was abusing her when in fact she was the one hitting me, I wanted so badly to hit her but I knew I was gonna get screwed over.
So here I am staying in my parents garage, paying the house and all the bills. While im delayed in paying my own bills, I only do it for the kids they come first. She wants spending money on top of that. Yet I cant even see my kids because Im not giving her enough money, its like bodyguard said it makes angry and sick of the situation.
As a man I provided her with needs and wants yet when we go to court I will get screwed inside and out. It just pisses me off of the power they are allowed to have. And yes they where problems before but still it is so out of control. This society caters to the minority or rather said the minority have the power over the majority which is not right in my opinion.
[/quote]

This tactic is employed to increadable success by far too many women. Now your out of the house, she’s establishing the status quoe while you wait on court, and your fucked before you even get there. Be very very very careful from here on out…

On a slightly related note watch your language when you talk to her even when the kids aren’t around, no matter what she’s doing. This last trip through court, I presented 100 pages worth of emails as evidance that my ex wasn’t letting me see my kids as the order laid out. The judge read them all, and the only thing that she picked out was that I told my ex to “Go choke on a dick” on January 15th. She didn’t care that my ex wasn’t following the order. She didn’t care that my ex was holding my kids for ransom that day. She cared that I told a kidnapping piece of shit to go choke on a dick, from 100 kilometers away. This was deemed “verbal abuse”. I was labeled “abusive”. And from there on, my arguments didn’t mean shit, no matter the evidance. So even when she’s being a cunt, and withholding your kids, make sure to shoot rainbows, and happyness up her ass.

Good luck though man.

160

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Marry your best friend and you will be happy. [/quote]

Your best friend may make more money, may make less. Shared goals, dreams and values are key, not money. You can always make money…

To those trapped in the money paradigm, what if your “best friend”, love interest, paramour, whatever, was very driven, passionate, but was let’s say an artist that didn’t make much money? Doesn’t that person have goals? Dreams? Ambition? Money doesn’t always have to be the goal…that’s an illusion. Too many of us suffer from this treadmill mentality where nothing is enough. When I started my career, I was making 23k a year…and I thought to myself, “man, when I hit 30k, I’m going to be set…gonna have this, buy that, shit will be great…ballin baby.”. When I got to 30k, I thought, “if I can just get to 40k, then I will be able to do this, and I’ll be ballin baby”…When I got to 40k, I set my sights on 60 and so forth until I flirted with six figures and then passed it with side work. Guess what? I’m not more happier, content, secure or fulfilled than when I made 23k. We are afflicted with the disease of “more”…

Goals? Dreams? Ambition? Yes, yes, yes…but if the foregoing are defined by money, you’re in for some butthurt in life. Because guess what…if it’s money, there will never be enough. Don’t believe me? Trust me, the guy chasing it making 50k is in the same exact condition as the guy making 250k chasing it…it’s just relativity. Neither is any happier than the other.

Do I want to marry a cashier with no ambition? No. But what if she’s a cashier to make ends meet while she creates beautiful works of art? What if she works at Wallmart because she spends time doing a noble job that doesn’t pay much, like working with the disabled or with children?

You cannot control how much money you make…but you can control your material desires. Ratchet down your material desires, remember what is important, and many of you will find that you make enough. I used to think that next car, that next toy, that house was going to be it…but it never ends if you’re in that mindset.

So far, people here have given extreme examples…most of which will never apply. For example, it’s unlikely X will ever find himself socially connected to the cashier at the 7-eleven.

I like BMW’s…I like to do what I want when I want. I have lots of material “likes”. But given the choice between spending my life alone or passing on a chance for love so I can drive my bmw and otherwise live a material existence pales in comparison to spending it with someone you have found a real connection and friendship with. Give me the woman I love, a smaller home, a honda and perhaps one less child.

That’s how I feel anyway, there’s a point there somewhere…lol[/quote]

If you ask me, you are still dealing with a overly entitled individual if their goal in life is to be supported by another person while they pursue their ‘gift of helping the needy.’

There is no shortage of women who’s only dream in life is to help the children and bring love and happiness to the world and in search of a wallet to fund their noble passion for not working at a real job. Every second women I’ve met in my life dreamt of getting a degree in early childhood education in order to support her goal of being a stay at home mom, professionally, regardless of the complete flood in the market of people with that ‘skillset’. What it really came down to is they were waiting for the dreamy wallet to take care of them. This ‘naturally’ nurturing and kind giving and caretaking woman isn’t real. She’s playing a role to get taken care of and not have to work hard.

On the other hand, a woman with a paycheck can do ten times more than a single volunteer by giving where it really counts: cash.

Be honest, what would you really think of a man who’s dream was to make beautiful (but probably worthless) pieces of art, while working at 7-eleven and dating women who could support this dream?

It’s not at all about the money, but about the balance of power and the balance of responsibility. And without that balance, relationships are brittle.

I love art and I am a painter (I even sell some paintings and prints) and create a lot of photographs (not just the slutty pics I post here) and I can actually call myself an artist. But there is no way I would accept that I should not pay for my pursuit of these things with my own money while my guy works at a miserable job to pay the bills.

Again, it’s not money. It’s entitlement and taking care of yourself.
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Boy you ARE jaded. Who said anything about entitlement. Sucks to be you if you think everyone wants your money. Who said everyone wants your money? You do know there are people in this world, men and women, that are not prisoner to this material trap. I not only disagree with you, but I’m somewhat sympathetic that this is your slant. There is a big difference between someone coming at you for your wallet, and two people falling in love…in the case of the latter, I don’t care what she does, as long as we share common goals…my goals do not revolve around money. If she doesn’t have as much as me and she’s planning ways to spend MY money, I doubt that is a relationship based upon love and shared goals.