NFL Off-Season 2013

Off Topic
361

Man, what the fuck? Why is half this thread filled up with a bunch of bullshit about two of the most dysfunctional teams in the NY Ain’t Yets and the Cowgirls? Fuck those roodypoo losers.

How 'bout the fucking 49ers? How goddamned good is Colin Kaepernick going to be? The best QB this side of Montana, that’s how good. Fuck Brady and Manning and Elway and all that cheap shit.

I was just jerking off to some Kaepernick highlight videos on YouTube and the man is the embodiment of everything you’d want in the modern NFL quarterback. He can beat you with his legs, whether it’s scrambling for first downs after the pocket collapses, on a designed run that gets him to the outside with his elite speed, or by simply shifting in the pocket to make a throw under duress. And he can beat you with his arm, whether it’s a nice little touch pass lofted over an LB and in front of a safety or CB or a fucking laser beam right down the seam and between two defenders or a goddamned 150 yard bomb that never gets more than about 7 feet off the ground. And he can beat you with his superior mental toughness and ability to perform in the clutch.

So FUCK NY and Dallas and NE and ATL and Seattle too. Russell Wilson is going to fall back to Earth this season, mark my words. This year will mark the beginning of a shockingly rapid downfall for that fucking limp-wrist fagot, Brady. Matt Ryan? Try scoring in the second fucking half sometime, pal. Tony Romeo begins his slow, excruciating slide into mediocrity where Danny White is saving him a nice spot. NY will probably still dominate ESPN, but only because every last one of those Gangreen fags is sucking Skip Bayless’ engorged fucking clitoral hood.

The Super Bowl was good for the Niners. It’ll have them hungrier and more bloodthirsty this year. Their division is the toughest in the NFL but I’m predicting a 12-4 record, maybe 13-3, and homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.

Then they crown the last game ever in majestic, picturesque Candlestick Park, the most beautiful, historic football stadium in the world, with a Championship Game victory. I’ll be out of the country, but I’ve already given my season tickets to my parents and instructed my father to start slowly taking apart my seat with a ratchet set so that by the Championship Game the thing is sitting on nothing but unscrewed bolts and he can shove it underneath his parka and sneak out of there with a little piece of history while the whole place is going nuts celebrating the 49ers’ victory over who-knows-what sad, unsuspecting shithole team is unlucky enough to get in their way this year.

And the next year, when they open their new stadium and Candlestick Park is sadly gone and turned to some fucking shithole shooting gallery/apartment complex on Hunter’s Point, they can christen the new stadium with the Lombardi Trophy, which is going to be blown up, recreated and named the Jim Harbaugh Trophy when all is said and done.

That’s right boys. And fuck you Derek! I know your inbred Texas ass is too dumb to read anything that isn’t comprised solely of LOLs and OMGs and “Tony Romo’s uncircumcised cock looks so beautiful with Dez Bryant’s drool all over it” and you’re going to post one of your dumb fucking “TLDR” avatars so just fucking shove it right up your motherfucking ass with that shit and pull it out when the Cowgirls win another big playoff game with Romo at the helm, which will be NEVER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

362

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Man, what the fuck? Why is half this thread filled up with a bunch of bullshit about two of the most dysfunctional teams in the NY Ain’t Yets and the Cowgirls? Fuck those roodypoo losers.

How 'bout the fucking 49ers? How goddamned good is Colin Kaepernick going to be? The best QB this side of Montana, that’s how good. Fuck Brady and Manning and Elway and all that cheap shit.

I was just jerking off to some Kaepernick highlight videos on YouTube and the man is the embodiment of everything you’d want in the modern NFL quarterback. He can beat you with his legs, whether it’s scrambling for first downs after the pocket collapses, on a designed run that gets him to the outside with his elite speed, or by simply shifting in the pocket to make a throw under duress. And he can beat you with his arm, whether it’s a nice little touch pass lofted over an LB and in front of a safety or CB or a fucking laser beam right down the seam and between two defenders or a goddamned 150 yard bomb that never gets more than about 7 feet off the ground. And he can beat you with his superior mental toughness and ability to perform in the clutch.

So FUCK NY and Dallas and NE and ATL and Seattle too. Russell Wilson is going to fall back to Earth this season, mark my words. This year will mark the beginning of a shockingly rapid downfall for that fucking limp-wrist fagot, Brady. Matt Ryan? Try scoring in the second fucking half sometime, pal. Tony Romeo begins his slow, excruciating slide into mediocrity where Danny White is saving him a nice spot. NY will probably still dominate ESPN, but only because every last one of those Gangreen fags is sucking Skip Bayless’ engorged fucking clitoral hood.

The Super Bowl was good for the Niners. It’ll have them hungrier and more bloodthirsty this year. Their division is the toughest in the NFL but I’m predicting a 12-4 record, maybe 13-3, and homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.

Then they crown the last game ever in majestic, picturesque Candlestick Park, the most beautiful, historic football stadium in the world, with a Championship Game victory. I’ll be out of the country, but I’ve already given my season tickets to my parents and instructed my father to start slowly taking apart my seat with a ratchet set so that by the Championship Game the thing is sitting on nothing but unscrewed bolts and he can shove it underneath his parka and sneak out of there with a little piece of history while the whole place is going nuts celebrating the 49ers’ victory over who-knows-what sad, unsuspecting shithole team is unlucky enough to get in their way this year.

And the next year, when they open their new stadium and Candlestick Park is sadly gone and turned to some fucking shithole shooting gallery/apartment complex on Hunter’s Point, they can christen the new stadium with the Lombardi Trophy, which is going to be blown up, recreated and named the Jim Harbaugh Trophy when all is said and done.

That’s right boys. And fuck you Derek! I know your inbred Texas ass is too dumb to read anything that isn’t comprised solely of LOLs and OMGs and “Tony Romo’s uncircumcised cock looks so beautiful with Dez Bryant’s drool all over it” and you’re going to post one of your dumb fucking “TLDR” avatars so just fucking shove it right up your motherfucking ass with that shit and pull it out when the Cowgirls win another big playoff game with Romo at the helm, which will be NEVER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[/quote]
Lol.

Leave us alone to wallow in our steaming pile of shit DB.

I still remember the 49rs sucking hind tit for many years also.

363

Also DB

Falco is a better QB

364

RG3 > Kapperhead

Just you wait!!! You can have your SB this next season, I’ve got SF pegged there too. But the following year, when we get some damn salary freedom, Skins taking home the Harbaugh Trophy!!

(I wish I could come up with some more elaborate, long-winded, awesome posts but alas, I cannot)

365

DB always cracks me up…we get a page and a half where he is not dominating the thread about his fucking teams. His brashness wasn’t too evident in 2010…

Seattle is gonna kick the niners ass next year anyway

DOH!

366

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
DB always cracks me up…we get a page and a half where he is not dominating the thread about his fucking teams. His brashness wasn’t too evident in 2010…

Seattle is gonna kick the niners ass next year anyway

DOH![/quote]

I wasn’t brash in 2010 because the Niners sucked cock then. I wasn’t brash in 2009 for the same reason.

But now that they’re the class of the NFC again, where they rightly belong, of course I’m gonna fly off the handle about them a little bit. When they suck is when it’s time to shut up about them because NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT A FUCKING LOSING FRANCHISE!!!

Seattle may kick the Niners’ ass next year in one of their two games, I’ll admit that. Any given Sunday. They sure as shit handed it to them in their second meeting last year. But the Niners won the war and conquered the NFC while the Seahawks couldn’t complete the big comeback that the Niners could down in Atlanta.

And I fucking LAUGH at the notion that RG3 is better than Kaepernick. Small sample sizes, sure. But last I checked losing the Super Bowl, as devastating as it was, is still FAR preferential to getting carried off of your own home turf with a busted knee after a pitiful performance AT HOME in the fucking divisional round.

RG3 WAS faster than Kaepernick, no doubt. But regardless of how he comes back from this latest knee injury, I think that their on-field running abilities are about equal. If they were running the 110M hurdles RG3 would smoke Kaepernick. But when it comes to racing around the end of the line of scrimmage, turning up field and blowing past every defender on the field, Kaepernick and RG3 are equals.

And aside from that, Kaepernick does everything on the field that’s asked of a QB better than RG3 does, and he has more physical talent. He’s bigger with a stronger, more accurate arm, and he showed that he can command an offense with the best of them despite playing in what was EASILY the most complex offensive system in the NFL last year. You think they pulled some shit out of every formation possible last year??? Wait until Greg Roman and Harbaugh have an entire offseason and training camp to install some shit without having to worry about the myriad limitations that fucking FAGOT, Alex Smith, had.

Last year was just the tip of the fucking iceberg, boys. This year, Kaepernick and company are going to revolutionize the NFL.

And let me remind you guys that before Kaepernick made his first start against the Bears last year I warned every last one of you motherfuckers that, and I quote, the future of the NFL at the quarterback position was going to be under center for the Niners that night and that no one would even remember who that fucking Smith jerk was when all was said and done.

And I was completely right about that, so it’s not like my lunatic ranting isn’t without some merit here.

367

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
DB always cracks me up…we get a page and a half where he is not dominating the thread about his fucking teams. His brashness wasn’t too evident in 2010…

Seattle is gonna kick the niners ass next year anyway

DOH![/quote]

Last year was just the tip of the fucking iceberg, boys. This year, Kaepernick and company are going to revolutionize the NFL.

[/quote]
Unless he has a season ending injury

368

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
DB always cracks me up…we get a page and a half where he is not dominating the thread about his fucking teams. His brashness wasn’t too evident in 2010…

Seattle is gonna kick the niners ass next year anyway

DOH![/quote]

Last year was just the tip of the fucking iceberg, boys. This year, Kaepernick and company are going to revolutionize the NFL.

[/quote]
Unless he has a season ending injury[/quote]

You’re such a fucking asshole. Don’t jinx it!

369

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Wait until Greg Roman and Harbaugh have an entire offseason and training camp to install some shit without having to worry about the myriad limitations that fucking FAGOT, Alex Smith, had.
[/quote]

Same could be said for the defense’s that they play against. I think he benefitted greatly from defenses not exactly being ready for him this year but that wont happen next year. They will make the playoffs and make a push but they will not win it. I don’t know who will but I figure that team will come out of the AFC.

370

Plus as Gore starts to breakdown that fake handoff run will not be nearly as effective although the back up who’s name has left me did show a lot of promise last year.

371

Percy Harvin > Anquan Boldin, thus, Seahawks > Niners in NFC Championship.

372

Joe Flacco w/ Anquan Boldin > Joe Flacco w/o Anquan Boldin I think he is gonna miss his panic target.

373

[quote]bpick86 wrote:
Joe Flacco w/ Anquan Boldin > Joe Flacco w/o Anquan Boldin I think he is gonna miss his panic target.[/quote]

That’s what everyone said when Mason left.

374

<----------HEY DB LIKE MY SHIRT!! Oh ya baby!!!

375

But they replaced Mason with Bolden. Who do you think will fill that role this year?? Serious question. Maybe Jacoby Jones can illicit a few more Bill Buckner flashes in some other safeties so that Rahim Moore doesn’t have to feel so bad. Ha

376

[quote]bpick86 wrote:
But they replaced Mason with Bolden. Who do you think will fill that role this year?? Serious question. Maybe Jacoby Jones can illicit a few more Bill Buckner flashes in some other safeties so that Rahim Moore doesn’t have to feel so bad. Ha[/quote]

True, but they have Torrey Smith with more experience and I think Jacoby Jones is a good receiver. There biggest problem is getting Pitta and Dixon more active across the middle and finding a way for Rice to dominate in the passing game like he did at the beginning of last season and in prior years.

377

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]bpick86 wrote:
But they replaced Mason with Bolden. Who do you think will fill that role this year?? Serious question. Maybe Jacoby Jones can illicit a few more Bill Buckner flashes in some other safeties so that Rahim Moore doesn’t have to feel so bad. Ha[/quote]

True, but they have Torrey Smith with more experience and I think Jacoby Jones is a good receiver. There biggest problem is getting Pitta and Dixon more active across the middle and finding a way for Rice to dominate in the passing game like he did at the beginning of last season and in prior years.
[/quote]

Yeah Pitta really was pretty up and down last year to me after starting with a bang. Torrey Smith is really solid but not quite the “how did he catch that with all those people around” guy. I am sure someone will step up though. Maybe there defense can stay healthy this year too.

378

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
blah blah blah…

And I fucking LAUGH at the notion that RG3 is better than Kaepernick. Small sample sizes, sure. But last I checked losing the Super Bowl, as devastating as it was, is still FAR preferential to getting carried off of your own home turf with a busted knee after a pitiful performance AT HOME in the fucking divisional round.

RG3 WAS faster than Kaepernick, no doubt. But regardless of how he comes back from this latest knee injury, I think that their on-field running abilities are about equal. If they were running the 110M hurdles RG3 would smoke Kaepernick. But when it comes to racing around the end of the line of scrimmage, turning up field and blowing past every defender on the field, Kaepernick and RG3 are equals.

And aside from that, Kaepernick does everything on the field that’s asked of a QB better than RG3 does, and he has more physical talent. He’s bigger with a stronger, more accurate arm, and he showed that he can command an offense with the best of them despite playing in what was EASILY the most complex offensive system in the NFL last year. You think they pulled some shit out of every formation possible last year??? Wait until Greg Roman and Harbaugh have an entire offseason and training camp to install some shit without having to worry about the myriad limitations that fucking FAGOT, Alex Smith, had.

more blah blah blah[/quote]

BS on the “pitiful performance” by RG3 before he got hurt. I don’t call putting 2 scores up on the Hawks in the first while they couldn’t get shit together pitiful. Hawks couldn’t move the damn ball and then after we lost our starting QB did the finally start to get it going. That game was in the bag until RG3’s knee blew up.

Yes, I still am bitter. Either way- Kaep, RG3, and Wilson (maybe Vick again) are doing some cool things in the NFL now. I’ll still put my money on your fucking Candlestick riding homophobes to win the SB this year…

379

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
DB always cracks me up…we get a page and a half where he is not dominating the thread about his fucking teams. His brashness wasn’t too evident in 2010…

Seattle is gonna kick the niners ass next year anyway

DOH![/quote]

Last year was just the tip of the fucking iceberg, boys. This year, Kaepernick and company are going to revolutionize the NFL.

[/quote]
Unless he has a season ending injury[/quote]

You’re such a fucking asshole. Don’t jinx it![/quote]

380

[quote]bpick86 wrote:
Plus as Gore starts to breakdown that fake handoff run will not be nearly as effective although the back up who’s name has left me did show a lot of promise last year.[/quote]

LaMichael James. And don’t forget about Kendall Hunter, who’s every bit as explosive as James is and runs much tougher between the tackles, despite having virtually identical size. People have been waiting for Gore to break down for fucking years. The fact is that the way the guy runs, he never gets walloped so he’s not likely to ge injured if they can keep him fresh and not overuse him. The guy had more than 1200 yards last year and I don’t think he carried the ball 20 times in a game once all year.

With Gore, James and Hunter, and maybe even someone from the draft like Le’Veon Bell out of Michigan State (6’1" and played at about 240 last year) they’re going to have at least a three-headed and maybe even a four-headed monster in the backfield.

And why does everyone think people are going to figure out Kaepernick and the read-option? Other than the Green Bay game, they didn’t really run it that much at all. What they did a lot with Kaepernick was run the pistol formation. But that isn’t what makes him dangerous. Sure, he’s dangerous when he’s on the run, but have you even watched the guy pass the fucking ball?

He showed time and again last season that he can make play after play from the pocket with his arm. THAT is what will make him dangerous. Teams will have to respect his ability to run because he’s shown he can do it better than any QB ever if given the opportunity, which will open all sorts of things for him in the passing game. And he has the arm to take full advantage of those openings.