This issue:
The Naked Truth: Dangerous Creatine
by David Barr
The Alternative Pharmacist
by Doug Kalman
Precision Pulling
by Mike Robertson
Feed Your Head II: The Literary Edition
compiled by the editors
News and Reader Mail
Congrats to Dan (the lucky Bastard() McVicker
Another solid issue guys.
Phill
i believe it should read Dan “Luckiest Bastard Ever” McVicker
Hey, did you guys forget about the What The Hell Is That Contest from last week? I didn’t find a winner announcement in the News and Reader Mail. I sent in an answer last Friday. I really want one of the tribal sign t-shirts really bad if that’s not painfully obvious.
Where’s the AD? Is this the first ever without an AD? My weekend is ruined.
I see you guys finally canned that deadweight schlub T.C.
'bout time.
What happened to the A.D?
Of course I could just take the initiative and start thinking about titties, ass sex and burping on my own but it’s so much nicer when you start with some misanthropical material to begin with.
“People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch”
~ Jack Nicholson
I think Mr. Dog has the flu, hence no Nuclear Mongrel this week. I just know he didn’t show up for work today which gave me the chance to pilfer his remaining Grow! bars, fondle his collection of fitness bunny panties, and pee in his fern. Tee hee.
Smitdogg - We’ll get the winner of the Reader Mail contest in next week.
Chris:
I have bad news.
Brace yourself, I know that this will not be easy. For either of us…
I know that the Fission Mutt left a voicemail on Timmy P’s answering service last night around 3:00 A.M that said:
" I have to see my doctor to lance this boil on my bum and I will not be in tomorrow. And maybe not Monday too, I’ll see how my ass does".
As plausible as that sounds, I am afraid that the murmurs you could hear in the background were not “Star Search…yeah, I know but you should see this guy in the tights…” as he tried to lead you to believe but they were indeed two Hookers (“Hi, I’m Crystal”…“and I’m Crystil”…teeheehee") who Eddie Murphy hooked him up with (“Gee Crystal, that sure is a big adams apple…”) who were in the process of laying down a Cleveland Steamer prior to letting the weasel loose in his pants (yeah, I know he usually like Gophers…they musta been out.)
Now of course there is nothing odd about this (it was after all a Thursday) but the sad truth is I caught a glimpse of him while I was passing the “Boy’z Bazaar” on 6th/9th this afternoon. He wasn’t at the doctors at all, he was holding up a pair of Diesel jeans and asking the clerk "No, really…how do you think my hips will look in these?..“Scrumptious”???..please say “Scrumptious!”
Yeah, I know.
I’m sad too.
"The jean! The jean is the destructor! It is a dictator! It is destroying creativity. The jean must be stopped!
~ Pierre Cardin
Of course I could just take the initiative and start thinking about titties, ass sex…on my own…
Cupcake, I’m shocked and disappointed you would think about such things.
Alas, all decency is gone from the world.
“I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone (internet) to people I don’t know.”
~Garry Shandling
P.S. Take care of yourself, Plutonium Puppy.
Good article by David Barr as usual. More from him please!