These were the important things to learn lol.
For what it’s worth, it sounds like she’s a good one; if you like her, hold onto her tight.
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Just part of aging and learning brother.
I do my best not to judge people based on their past. Considering I have some very bad shit in mine.
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This is so very important in so many ways that it can not be overstated.
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When I was a student and I started talking to my mother about girls, she told me that women of her generation often had a common practice. When the boy finds out that the girl is not a virgin, the girl starts crying and tells that he is her second boy and she was raped the first time 
But now it’s different times and it’s normal not to have virgin girls who are around 18-20 years old.
Yeah, I met one along time ago. None since.
Hated it, We changed our status fairly quickly.
It’s actually statistically above the norm/median for 19, albeit not heinously so. The average at that age is around 1-2. 3 is hardly off the median, but still statistically higher than the norm.
The average individual will only sleep with 10-15 people throughout their lifetime.
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Don’t think about it.
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Who gives a shit about “normal?” That’s just code for, what everyone else thinks. The only thing that matters is what you think.
Side note, when I was around your age (22) I met a woman at a bar almost 20 years my elder (40). We went back to my apartment and had a sexual marathon that to this day I can’t get out of my head. I always tell younger single guys to find a cougar. But the reason it’s so good? Experience. Best just to live in the moment and not think about her past.
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Fuckin nerds.
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I looked over statistics and found a cdc chart that’s shows for a woman between ages 20-24 the median is 3. This study was from 2002.
If she’s at 4 including me that puts her 1 over median but still in the middle 1/3 of woman her age.
She really is a kind girl and I do believe what she’s told me. I covered all that in my first few post.
I do believe most woman will have between 4-8 partners in their lifetime.
I’m quite conservative and my wife and I are both at 1. I agree with the importance you place on understanding how history will affect your relationship going forward.
That said, I don’t understand why it’s important to know what the average is for women of a certain age. Relationships are between two people. What is average for everyone else doesn’t really make much difference.
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I am pretty conservative. I just don’t have it in me to have a one-night stand. Every woman I’ve been with has a higher number than mine. Doesn’t bother me in the least. I guess it may have when I was younger and insecure, but I’m 50 now and couldn’t care less. I am EXTREMELY satisfied with my sex life.
Isn’t this what matters versus what the average and median are?
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Bro, you asked a question on a forum so I really don’t wanna bust your balls, I’ll just tell you how I see it as someone whose a little older but has also been in similar situations. First, I admit I skimmed some of the responses, but I could’ve sworn you said she broke down each situation and explained it to you in detail. Assuming I did read that, keep in mind that she def didn’t owe you that. If this is a truly important issue for you, than I can understand you asking, and if she knows that it means a lot to you, ideally she’d be open and honest. From what I’m reading, she went beyond that. She shouldn’t be judged for giving you an honest answer.
Listen, yes chicks lie, downplay, manipulate, etc. But if she’s breaking down every situation, that’s a lot to remember for a lie. The truth is, she doesn’t have to tell you shit about her past. Obviously that would create issues and prevent growth as a couple, but right now, at 19 and only a few months in to something new, that’s between her and God. You’re 22 and admit to having more partners. Yes there’s biological and societal factors that tend to make that more acceptable, but those factors have to do with the survival of the human race through man’s need to spread his seed and a woman’s need to remain desirable for a man who can provide for her and her kids and protect them as well. Are you planning on having a bunch of kids with different women? If so, can you provide for and protect all of them? If not to either question, than there’s no real reason why you’re entitled to a higher number.
That said, you’ve likely made mistakes on your life, and will likely make many more. Probably bigger ones as well. You don’t want to be judged by your lowest points (if you think those are her lowest points). It sounds like you two care about each other a lot. More importantly, you care for her now. She has likely grown, matured, gone through hurt, pain, shame, achieved goals, improved in areas, and so on. In short, she is still growing into herself, figuring out what’s important to her, and developing values. A strong relationship will obviously impact all of those things. Consider if you leave her, what do you think the next girls number will be. Is that the most important factor to you. Im not judging, just asking.
Because here’s the thing, whatever anyone says, if this is just too big a deal for you, save both of you the time and heartache and move on. Don’t ask her for 3 years of devotion (or however long) and then say you can’t handle it. On the flip side, if you decide that you can live with it and choose to move forward (bro, she explained her personal intimate moments to you, that’s a big one for me but this is about you). If you do make the call to continue and grow as a couple, you gotta let it go. It’s def not right to stay with her but keep that in the chamber and bust it out one day. When you accept someone’s past, their true past, you gotta own it and say this doesn’t define my girl, this is not who she is now, whatever terminology you choose, but if you accept it, then that’s it, leav it alone and don’t bring it back up unless you find out there were lies involved.
From 19-22 I can’t even tell you how many girls I was with. Not because I’m a player or some smooth lady’s man. I’m not saying they were dimes. Shit, my sober number isn’t high. That’s mostly gf’s. At 19-21 I dated a girl that cared about that but flirted with everyone and led guys on right and left. She just didn’t fuck them. I had to really work to sleep with her and I fell in love with her. But again, she wasn’t fooling around on me, but she wasn’t being honest either. At 22 I dated a 20 year old who was a teenage model, stopped, went to school, went back to modeling, and I’ve since lost track of her. She was dope for real. She also was entitled and had no idea how many guys she had been with. I didn’t realize how morally bankrupt she was till she cheated on me and then blamed me for not paying enough attention to her. Still, truth be told, I cheated on her with her close friend. I think we were technically on a break or something, but it was fucked up of me. I was hurt from my last break up and swore never to let a girl get control over me again so I did treat her worse than I should have. I was never abusive or anything, I just kept a certain emotional distance. That backfired beyond the cheating. We actually had a real connection and I refused to let it develop anymore than it had already because the first few months were great which made me think I had to stop getting so close.
The point to all that is, I don’t know you, but at 22 I was an idiot who though I knew what I was doing. I give you credit for actually asking the opinion of others about this, takes some balls. Anyway, the larger point is at that age, a lot of people make mistakes, and a lot are dishonest about them. So many are like children in adult bodies acting on impulse and thinking they can hide their actions without consequence. Sometimes you can because, again, at that age people can be foolish, selfish, naive, and so on. It sounds like you found a girl worth trying to work things out with. Moreover, shame to say, but in my experience, the quality doesn’t improve from girl to girl. Imagine being her having guys persisting, promising you the world, putting it in your head that they can make all your hopes, dreams, fantasies come true. You see your friends having fun getting attention, guys talking to you seem great from what you can tell, and you got no idea that you’re gonna meet a guy in the near future who is gonna care about this so much, but you do so you share what now feels shameful and wrong but really wasn’t meant to be anything wrong.
Like I said, if it’s too much for you, don’t waste her time or yours. If you think she’s worth it and you wanna go for it, accept her as the human she is, capable of flaw and error like every one of us and bury that shit with whatever bodies you’re hiding.
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Is she an anal virgin? If so you can be her first! On the other hand she may say her body count in the back door is 8 or 9. So ask yourself how you’ll handle that one if that’s how it shakes out.
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You make a lot of good points in this response. Thanks for taking the time help me sort this.
I’m know I’ve said it before but logically I’m able to see the that this is mostly normal behavior. I see it in my male and female friends and I’m able to find evidence in medical journals and online. But for some reason with THIS GIRL it’s become an issue for me. I never even thought about it before. Never asked anyone else except maybe the first girl I was with. I’d be willing to bet that her number is lower than any of my male or female friends at this point.
This is entirely an emotional response from me. It’s like I can see the truth but am having trouble letting it go. Maybe it’s because I have more feelings for her, we have just really hit the ground running together and as a couple. After just a few dates we were a couple. There was no hey, do you want to be boyfriend/girlfriend. We were together and felt like we had been forever.
I think maybe I’m regretting some of my previous relationships and the way I’ve acted towards woman in the past now that I see how those scenarios change woman. I never felt manipulative in the past but I was mostly only chasing them for one thing and now I can see the trouble that lack of sincerity can cause.
Much better to be with a girl who enjoys sex than one who doesn’t.
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