It’s true. When I had more time on my hands, we were like rabbits, now we are busy and only get it on when we see each other which is significantly less time, still often enough though.
I think it depends mainly on how one communicates. I was just disagreeing with the sentiment on talking open about your feelings in front of your female spouse. Males emoting kills female attraction. If you just tell her, she should calm down a bit without emoting, then there’s nothing wrong with it.
Sorry man for writing in a provocative way, I think it elicits often more productive convo I appreciate your opinions
Haha! Open communication is only good if that communication is what the other person wants to hear. I’ve tried to be open before with women and it rarely went over very well.
Short term, I find this to be true (or mostly true). Not sure about long term? I do think it is possible that open communication can create conflict or issues in the short term, but perhaps these issues would be worse if left unaddressed? Probably really depends on the issue.
This one I am 50/50 on. Mentioning you have libido issues is likely going to be a turn off, but it’s not like not being able to get it up or not being able to finish down the line is just going to be unnoticed.
But at least you are getting ahead of it. More believable IMO, if you mention to her that an Rx drug is impacting your libido, and you are going to talk to your doctor about it, because you want to be on her all day, than to say those things after you can’t get it up. The latter sounds like an excuse made up on the spot.
We were almost a year into our relationship, fucking and chilling daily. That particular day we screwed twice. I came three times. The first time she came three times, second time six times. That was well over a decade ago. We couldn’t believe it either.
I agree with this statement. I actually applaud her patience up to this point. Pleading, begging or asking for understanding even further would just be pushing it.
I can get it up and perform without issue. I just need to find a way to get things going. Frankly, I think I just need to stop overthinking this and just man up, as dumb as that may sound.
Starting to feel like Al Bundy now. I’m just going to stop going further with this thread.
Where does this happen? I agree with most of your post but i cannot imagine a world where someone’s wife immediately jumps to “he must be gay” after a decade+ of marriage.
I misunderstood your initial comment, apologies. This wasn’t uncommon for my wife and I in early marriage (or post-deployment) either. I only brought this point up because it sounds that you are being unnecessarily unfair to yourself in this situation.
I actually agree more with @mnben87 more than my current statement. I did not mean that 100% open communication is always the answer; I was framing it in the little I know of your current situation, where behavioral changes have likely already been noticed by your other half. I lean towards communicating this issue still, mostly because women overthink/overanalyze everything… So what would likely appear to her as decreased interest may spawn thoughts of infidelity or other unsavory/inaccurate beliefs.
In the end, you know your marriage best and I will refrain from advising anything else towards it. Truly, i didn’t intend to delve into such deep topics of marriage here.
Not with the OP. I was speaking of my experiences.
I had a few women accuse a man of being gay for X reasons. The guy was having issues and they wondered if he was gay. I’ve watched a interview of a porn star who accused men with ED issues as being gay. She said if a guy has a problem getting hard with her, he’s gay.
I did have a gf accuse her ex of being gay because he preferred anal sex with her.
I have had gay friends in the past and hear stories. I know several guys who were married with children and then 10+ years later decided they were gay.
I appreciate your opinions
