Most normal, confident men don’t need to do this. Sorry the internet is harsh, but dude - we all read your private message conversation with that girl. I’m still recovering from that.
Yeah I noticed how bad it was. I couldn’t tell she wasn’t interested. I thought as long as she still responds I’m good. Thing is I was the only person doing all the work. Past rejections before that I was left on read/seen/opened. Welp you learn something new with each rejection.
Now that I think about it I see how this all adds up. If I have more female friends I’ll be more confident and I’ll also know how females operate and I’ll develop better conversation skills also their friends could be interested in me. Find those friends by clubs or whatever. Use hanging out with friends to post stuff on Instagram, use social media to an advantage.
You keep approaching this like women are a different species than you.
Once you recognize this is about human relationships, you will be good. Until then, you will come off as weird.
That’s exactly why I need to talk to them more.
Humans? Absolutely. Offline, without memes, ideally.
Yeah.
Dude, no.
Why not?
A true Christian. ![]()
Hang on, which hole are we talking about here?
Easy buddy. You might want to land a couple and get some time under your belt before getting into the whacky fetish stuff.
I think it may be going over/around/through his head, but I’ve found that women respond VERY well to being treated like humans, and not just like potential mates. Sifting through mounds of men who are painfully obviously after sex can make a man who talks to you with no expectations of sexual favors quite attractive. Only problem is, you can’t fake that sort of self-confidence, because it just comes out as cockiness if you’re not genuine.
What does that have to do with Christianity?
You do realize women have a bung hole and a vagina right? It’s not the same hole…
You’ve explained my point better than I ever could have. True Christians walk their talk! I am not a Christian.
The issue people have with this is that A) it’s crude, hence the question about your Christianity, and B) it strives to make you bigger/stronger by making someone else smaller/weaker, even if only in your own head, hence the question about your Christianity. Make yourself feel bigger and stronger by getting bigger and stronger, not by thinking poorly about the people around you (whom you want to exploit).
Yup. This is exactly what I mean by “consider yourself worthy”, but dude keeps wanting to go the other direction and consider others UNworthy.
There’s no trick to confidence: you just have to be willing to love yourself. People are conditioned to be humble to such an extreme that it’s crippling, and the idea of self love is egotistical, but having a strong, healthy self image is awesome and super empowering.
And if you can’t have that self image, go improve yourself.
I think of positive self-esteem as consisting in liking and respecting oneself, which is akin to love but I think easier to understand. If I met myself as a stranger, would I like myself? Would I respect myself? What if someone with my exact qualities took the office next door to mine, would I become friends with them? The answer for me is yes, I would respect the other me’s work ethic and dedication. I would appreciate the way other me talked about her job, her office, our struggling city. I would also like other me because I would find her curious and funny and as interested in random information as I am. And bonus, maybe we could be exercise buddies and talk about our diets!
Exactly. If I would NOT like/respect other me, why? That’s what I need to work on.
“If I am not for myself, who is for me?
And being for my own self, what am I?
If not now, when?” -Hillel the Elder
Actually, come to think of it, these are my criteria for romantic love, though with the addition of passion/attraction.