[quote]waylanderxx wrote:
[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Yes, I have a job.[/quote]
I thought you were black…?[/quote]
NO, I would say he is more like really strong coffee color, not black. Come on man learn your color palate.
[quote]BobParr wrote:
[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
@ X Lol
Having a discussion with a person who truly believes that her vagina is being monitored by the FBI and she must fornicate with as many men as possible so it will throw off the FBI. Bat shit crazy.
Being a self centered 20 year old who only cares about biceps, tits and drinking is normal. [/quote]
Derek,
Next time you encounter such a woman, call me.
Is that manipulative?
*General comment, the previously listed “symptoms” of narcissm (narcicissm, cissym, cyssym…) seem suspicious to me. I mean that sounds like basically any corporate mid-level manager on up to the CEO or small time entrepreneur.
I wonder if the author isn’t a socialist hoping to brainwash the masses away from ambition.
But seriously, Derek, introduce me to this patient.[/quote]
I’m no expert, but Derek’s patient sounds more like she has paranoid schizophrenia than narcissistic personality disorder.
You may think her delusion would be entertaining to be around - until she puts a knife in your back because she’s convinced she’s overheard you reporting on her activities to headquarters using a secret radio you have hidden in your toothbrush.
Several years back, the heir to a large fortune was charged with murder for shooting his chauffeur/bodyguard. He was convinced that Nazi spies were hiding in the trees around his property and plotting to assasinate him. I bet the chauffeur and others found it funny – up until the guy decided his chauffeur must be one of the Nazi spies since he wasn’t protecting him from the imaginary threat.
[/quote]
Bob you are actually correct, I was making the analogy of difference in WebMd diagnosis and real world diagnosis and it just went from there.
[quote]JLone wrote:
[quote]CAP1015 wrote:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
The effect on my family of her behavior has been crippling.[/quote]
Symptoms
A person with narcissistic personality disorder may:
React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
Have excessive feelings of self-importance
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
Need constant attention and admiration
Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy
Have obsessive self-interest
Pursue mainly selfish goals
^This^ sounds like half the guys I know.
Could you tell a few stories of how extreme it is and how it crippled the family.
[/quote]
most disorders will read this way
almost every single thing here could be said about almost anyone in some situation
it depends on perspective
usually all or nearly-all of the criteria must be met and it must be ‘dysfunctional’
(it has to do someone some harm)
it really depends on whether someone can stop teasing when it is inappropriate or not
some degree of Narcissism is a necessary component of a healthy personality
but yes, i have been inflicted with the acquiantceship of several people in my life who were dysfuncctional in this respect (one dude was a monster)
there is also something called ‘Narcissistic Family’ where every member of the family selects a whipping post in one child who has to serve as a sacrificial lamb to their malignant ego needs
My stepdaughter has something wrong with her. We’re not sure what, but it’s not good. With the way things went down, we just don’t have contact with her.
Over the years it’s been lying , stealing, a miserable attitude, can’t take responsibility for actions, drug use, poor school performance , sense of entitlement among other things.
[quote]tom63 wrote:
My stepdaughter has something wrong with her. We’re not sure what, but it’s not good. With the way things went down, we just don’t have contact with her.
Over the years it’s been lying , stealing, a miserable attitude, can’t take responsibility for actions, drug use, poor school performance , sense of entitlement among other things.[/quote]
I have a step son like that 18 and my son 20 is like that.
I tend to believe we have a problem with spoiled ass kids Tom.
[quote]KrohDaddi wrote:
[quote]JLone wrote:
[quote]CAP1015 wrote:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
The effect on my family of her behavior has been crippling.[/quote]
Symptoms
A person with narcissistic personality disorder may:
React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
Have excessive feelings of self-importance
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
Need constant attention and admiration
Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy
Have obsessive self-interest
Pursue mainly selfish goals
^This^ sounds like half the guys I know.
Could you tell a few stories of how extreme it is and how it crippled the family.
[/quote]
most disorders will read this way
almost every single thing here could be said about almost anyone in some situation
it depends on perspective
usually all or nearly-all of the criteria must be met and it must be ‘dysfunctional’
(it has to do someone some harm)
it really depends on whether someone can stop teasing when it is inappropriate or not
some degree of Narcissism is a necessary component of a healthy personality
but yes, i have been inflicted with the acquiantceship of several people in my life who were dysfuncctional in this respect (one dude was a monster)
there is also something called ‘Narcissistic Family’ where every member of the family selects a whipping post in one child who has to serve as a sacrificial lamb to their malignant ego needs[/quote]
That Narcissistic Family just sounds extremely cruel.
The problem, at least to me in my situation is just as you describe, all humans have some narcissitic traits, but when it is to point it is with my MIL and when they are as clever as they are, unless you can afford for an advanced, in-depth analysis by a professional/Dr., then it becomes a “your word/their word” situation and unless it can be shown that they are danger to themselves or others, it is not criminal to have severe NPD, nor is it recognized as such a threat that it is treated like severe mental illness.
That creates the situation I’m in where she isn’t declared incompetant or severely mentally ill, so you either have to have the ability or choose to cut all contact or deal with the extreme and harsh behaviour.
Again for me the most troubling aspect is that I keep failing in the mindset that she chooses this type of action and therefore can choose to act another way…and I try to deal with her as I would a normal person and expect the same results…that is my error.
After we deal with the legal and investigation issues she has thrust upon us, I beleive that we will elect for the no contact. What I just don’t understand is how she continues to live with the stage iv cancer (no chemo in 10.5 months), end stage COPD, advance/critical osteoporisis (had two vertabrae collaspe in March).
Current lung capacity in one lung of 12%, and less than 10% in the other. She has no quality of life other than she is still mobile with a walker and being on Oxygen 24/7. She eats like a linebacker to maintain her weight at 115. The Hospice group has said if she doesn’t begin to decline faster she will be removed from Hospice…
I’m beyond perplexed as her Primary care Dr. and Pulmonologist can’t explain her “good health” at this point…( Her primary DR. is in the process of dismissing her as a patient due to her claims of being “lied to” about in the process of dying,… what a cluster fuck)
unfairly applying labels to young people in stages of development can be countered by them using the same diagnostic manuals to depict you as ‘controlling’ and using guilt to hamper them.
they will say that if they do things your way, they are going to be left behind by their peers and become stale and out-of-touch with the world they will have to live in, in a future you won’t be here for.
what ‘seems’ selfish to you, to them will seem as though you are trying to make them a mere extension of your own ‘honour’
the term ‘manipulation’ has been abused to the point of the absurd in recent times
anything someone doesn’t like is called ‘manipulation’ with lurid undertones
social interactions, hints and suggestions are all ‘manipulations’
“my shit is stuff and your stuff is shit”
you have expectations of someone and they may see it as a manipulation
and vice versa
compensating for your own bias by understanding ‘transference’ and ‘counter-transference’ is not something you pick up by reading the wiki-pedia entry about a psychological disorder
“judge not; lest ye be judged”
[quote]KrohDaddi wrote:
unfairly applying labels to young people in stages of development can be countered by them using the same diagnostic manuals to depict you as ‘controlling’ and using guilt to hamper them.
they will say that if they do things your way, they are going to be left behind by their peers and become stale and out-of-touch with the world they will have to live in, in a future you won’t be here for.
what ‘seems’ selfish to you, to them will seem as though you are trying to make them a mere extension of your own ‘honour’
the term ‘manipulation’ has been abused to the point of the absurd in recent times
anything someone doesn’t like is called ‘manipulation’ with lurid undertones
social interactions, hints and suggestions are all ‘manipulations’
“my shit is stuff and your stuff is shit”
you have expectations of someone and they may see it as a manipulation
and vice versa
compensating for your own bias by understanding ‘transference’ and ‘counter-transference’ is not something you pick up by reading the wiki-pedia entry about a psychological disorder
“judge not; lest ye be judged”[/quote]
Hey whats up
[quote]CAP1015 wrote:
[quote]KrohDaddi wrote:
[quote]JLone wrote:
[quote]CAP1015 wrote:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
The effect on my family of her behavior has been crippling.[/quote]
Symptoms
A person with narcissistic personality disorder may:
React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
Have excessive feelings of self-importance
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
Need constant attention and admiration
Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy
Have obsessive self-interest
Pursue mainly selfish goals
^This^ sounds like half the guys I know.
Could you tell a few stories of how extreme it is and how it crippled the family.
[/quote]
most disorders will read this way
almost every single thing here could be said about almost anyone in some situation
it depends on perspective
usually all or nearly-all of the criteria must be met and it must be ‘dysfunctional’
(it has to do someone some harm)
it really depends on whether someone can stop teasing when it is inappropriate or not
some degree of Narcissism is a necessary component of a healthy personality
but yes, i have been inflicted with the acquiantceship of several people in my life who were dysfuncctional in this respect (one dude was a monster)
there is also something called ‘Narcissistic Family’ where every member of the family selects a whipping post in one child who has to serve as a sacrificial lamb to their malignant ego needs[/quote]
That Narcissistic Family just sounds extremely cruel.
The problem, at least to me in my situation is just as you describe, all humans have some narcissitic traits, but when it is to point it is with my MIL and when they are as clever as they are, unless you can afford for an advanced, in-depth analysis by a professional/Dr., then it becomes a “your word/their word” situation and unless it can be shown that they are danger to themselves or others, it is not criminal to have severe NPD, nor is it recognized as such a threat that it is treated like severe mental illness.
That creates the situation I’m in where she isn’t declared incompetant or severely mentally ill, so you either have to have the ability or choose to cut all contact or deal with the extreme and harsh behaviour.
Again for me the most troubling aspect is that I keep failing in the mindset that she chooses this type of action and therefore can choose to act another way…and I try to deal with her as I would a normal person and expect the same results…that is my error.
After we deal with the legal and investigation issues she has thrust upon us, I beleive that we will elect for the no contact. What I just don’t understand is how she continues to live with the stage iv cancer (no chemo in 10.5 months), end stage COPD, advance/critical osteoporisis (had two vertabrae collaspe in March).
Current lung capacity in one lung of 12%, and less than 10% in the other. She has no quality of life other than she is still mobile with a walker and being on Oxygen 24/7. She eats like a linebacker to maintain her weight at 115. The Hospice group has said if she doesn’t begin to decline faster she will be removed from Hospice…
I’m beyond perplexed as her Primary care Dr. and Pulmonologist can’t explain her “good health” at this point…( Her primary DR. is in the process of dismissing her as a patient due to her claims of being “lied to” about in the process of dying,… what a cluster fuck)
[/quote]
true Naercissistic Personality disorder can rarely be treated successfully
its not something extra added to them that can be subtracted
it is their personality itself which is disordered
it takes decades for them to program themselves this way and it is who they are
is seems to be a defensive reaction to feeling inadequate which is overcompensated for with an exaggerated sense of importance far out of scale to their actual abilities
talking to them about it is ‘tricking’ them out of their ‘due respect’ (from their viewpoint)
by the time it erupts into a true disorder, even some success and recognition proportionate to their unrecognised talents will not be enough
by then they bear a grudge against the world for not bowing down before them from the start
these are people who walk away from an awards ceremony with a trophy in their hands and when you congratulate them, they curse the judges out because they should have won every year since they came out of the womb. The judges should have beat a path to their door when they were a child and given them the award before they ever entered a competition.
its like a record with a groove worn in it that keeps playing one line from a song over and over in their heads
that’s what ‘Narcissistic Personality Disorder’ is. they have no sense of reality about things like that.
everyone has some degree of Narcissism and under the stress of a terminal illness, negative manifestations of their personality are of course going to be magnified
is also know as ‘Malignant Self-Love’
when they are truly screwed in the head, even if they start making some headway and achieve some status in their lives, they use it to hamstring other people they are jealous of because they can’t stop resenting the lost ground that the other people didn’t have to cover
[quote]Professor X wrote:
“Mesmerized by the queen” sounds like a drug trip.
Then again, maybe that is exactly what that was.
[/quote]
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]tom63 wrote:
My stepdaughter has something wrong with her. We’re not sure what, but it’s not good. With the way things went down, we just don’t have contact with her.
Over the years it’s been lying , stealing, a miserable attitude, can’t take responsibility for actions, drug use, poor school performance , sense of entitlement among other things.[/quote]
I have a step son like that 18 and my son 20 is like that.
I tend to believe we have a problem with spoiled ass kids Tom.[/quote]
But she wasn’t spoiled. My other two are children who anyone would be proud to have. They didn’t get any extra special treatment.
Maybe she’s just an asshole.
[quote]tom63 wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]tom63 wrote:
My stepdaughter has something wrong with her. We’re not sure what, but it’s not good. With the way things went down, we just don’t have contact with her.
Over the years it’s been lying , stealing, a miserable attitude, can’t take responsibility for actions, drug use, poor school performance , sense of entitlement among other things.[/quote]
I have a step son like that 18 and my son 20 is like that.
I tend to believe we have a problem with spoiled ass kids Tom.[/quote]
But she wasn’t spoiled. My other two are children who anyone would be proud to have. They didn’t get any extra special treatment.
Maybe she’s just an asshole. [/quote]
Lol kids are brain damaged, some less than others. Will not derail thread, with tales from being a step father and father. Good luck, BTW I just got my son back on the right track after 3 years of the dark side.
would you prefer your kids to have absolutely no self-esteem, no ego whatsoever, feel like they don’t deserve any consideration and stagger through life willing to take any abuse anyone is handing out?
That seems like my step daughter. Lazy, can’t take criticism. Excuses etc.
At her sixteenth birthday party an old friend asked me how my twins were doing in school. I told them how they did their freshmen year. They were 2nd and 12 in their class st the end of the school year. She heard thst walking by and took a fit and ran in the house. They’re both much smarter and work harder than her, but she always made excuses .
There is so much more to this than an incident or two . After she left the house( she was told she’s following are rules or leaving) her mother found some sex tapes on her cell phone. She denied it until she was blue in the face and ran to relatives complaining how her mother was spreading lies.
Her mother got her a summer job making 10+ dollars an hours a half mile from our home ( she works st the sister plant). Kid failed s drug test. Using an idiot friend’s hot pee. She stole my dons chuck taylor’s even though they were much to big for him.
She screws up and it’s always poor pity me.
[quote]KrohDaddi wrote:
[quote]CAP1015 wrote:
[quote]KrohDaddi wrote:
[quote]JLone wrote:
[quote]CAP1015 wrote:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
The effect on my family of her behavior has been crippling.[/quote]
Symptoms
A person with narcissistic personality disorder may:
React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
Have excessive feelings of self-importance
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
Need constant attention and admiration
Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy
Have obsessive self-interest
Pursue mainly selfish goals
^This^ sounds like half the guys I know.
Could you tell a few stories of how extreme it is and how it crippled the family.
[/quote]
most disorders will read this way
almost every single thing here could be said about almost anyone in some situation
it depends on perspective
usually all or nearly-all of the criteria must be met and it must be ‘dysfunctional’
(it has to do someone some harm)
it really depends on whether someone can stop teasing when it is inappropriate or not
some degree of Narcissism is a necessary component of a healthy personality
but yes, i have been inflicted with the acquiantceship of several people in my life who were dysfuncctional in this respect (one dude was a monster)
there is also something called ‘Narcissistic Family’ where every member of the family selects a whipping post in one child who has to serve as a sacrificial lamb to their malignant ego needs[/quote]
That Narcissistic Family just sounds extremely cruel.
The problem, at least to me in my situation is just as you describe, all humans have some narcissitic traits, but when it is to point it is with my MIL and when they are as clever as they are, unless you can afford for an advanced, in-depth analysis by a professional/Dr., then it becomes a “your word/their word” situation and unless it can be shown that they are danger to themselves or others, it is not criminal to have severe NPD, nor is it recognized as such a threat that it is treated like severe mental illness.
That creates the situation I’m in where she isn’t declared incompetant or severely mentally ill, so you either have to have the ability or choose to cut all contact or deal with the extreme and harsh behaviour.
Again for me the most troubling aspect is that I keep failing in the mindset that she chooses this type of action and therefore can choose to act another way…and I try to deal with her as I would a normal person and expect the same results…that is my error.
After we deal with the legal and investigation issues she has thrust upon us, I beleive that we will elect for the no contact. What I just don’t understand is how she continues to live with the stage iv cancer (no chemo in 10.5 months), end stage COPD, advance/critical osteoporisis (had two vertabrae collaspe in March).
Current lung capacity in one lung of 12%, and less than 10% in the other. She has no quality of life other than she is still mobile with a walker and being on Oxygen 24/7. She eats like a linebacker to maintain her weight at 115. The Hospice group has said if she doesn’t begin to decline faster she will be removed from Hospice…
I’m beyond perplexed as her Primary care Dr. and Pulmonologist can’t explain her “good health” at this point…( Her primary DR. is in the process of dismissing her as a patient due to her claims of being “lied to” about in the process of dying,… what a cluster fuck)
[/quote]
true Naercissistic Personality disorder can rarely be treated successfully
its not something extra added to them that can be subtracted
it is their personality itself which is disordered
it takes decades for them to program themselves this way and it is who they are
is seems to be a defensive reaction to feeling inadequate which is overcompensated for with an exaggerated sense of importance far out of scale to their actual abilities
talking to them about it is ‘tricking’ them out of their ‘due respect’ (from their viewpoint)
by the time it erupts into a true disorder, even some success and recognition proportionate to their unrecognised talents will not be enough
by then they bear a grudge against the world for not bowing down before them from the start
these are people who walk away from an awards ceremony with a trophy in their hands and when you congratulate them, they curse the judges out because they should have won every year since they came out of the womb. The judges should have beat a path to their door when they were a child and given them the award before they ever entered a competition.
its like a record with a groove worn in it that keeps playing one line from a song over and over in their heads
that’s what ‘Narcissistic Personality Disorder’ is. they have no sense of reality about things like that.
everyone has some degree of Narcissism and under the stress of a terminal illness, negative manifestations of their personality are of course going to be magnified
is also know as ‘Malignant Self-Love’
when they are truly screwed in the head, even if they start making some headway and achieve some status in their lives, they use it to hamstring other people they are jealous of because they can’t stop resenting the lost ground that the other people didn’t have to cover
[/quote]
[quote]KrohDaddi wrote:
would you prefer your kids to have absolutely no self-esteem, no ego whatsoever, feel like they don’t deserve any consideration and stagger through life willing to take any abuse anyone is handing out?[/quote]
Who are you talking to?
Thanks. She’s royaled screw herself. My kids are entering college and I will not jeopardize their future for this nitwhit
Though I do think she has something wrong with her line this. When her mom cleaned out her room she found a page from some book all about life Insurance. My wife had already taken her off her insurance as beneficiary btw. She also found a wedding album my wife gave her with all my faces cut out and replaced by pics from a magazine . That’s just some weird kind of screwed up.
I’m done with her. She’s never coming back.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]tom63 wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]tom63 wrote:
My stepdaughter has something wrong with her. We’re not sure what, but it’s not good. With the way things went down, we just don’t have contact with her.
Over the years it’s been lying , stealing, a miserable attitude, can’t take responsibility for actions, drug use, poor school performance , sense of entitlement among other things.[/quote]
I have a step son like that 18 and my son 20 is like that.
I tend to believe we have a problem with spoiled ass kids Tom.[/quote]
But she wasn’t spoiled. My other two are children who anyone would be proud to have. They didn’t get any extra special treatment.
Maybe she’s just an asshole. [/quote]
Lol kids are brain damaged, some less than others. Will not derail thread, with tales from being a step father and father. Good luck, BTW I just got my son back on the right track after 3 years of the dark side. [/quote]
maybe it takes longer
[quote]tom63 wrote:
That seems like my step daughter. Lazy, can’t take criticism. Excuses etc.
At her sixteenth birthday party an old friend asked me how my twins were doing in school. I told them how they did their freshmen year. They were 2nd and 12 in their class st the end of the school year. She heard thst walking by and took a fit and ran in the house. They’re both much smarter and work harder than her, but she always made excuses .
There is so much more to this than an incident or two . After she left the house( she was told she’s following are rules or leaving) her mother found some sex tapes on her cell phone. She denied it until she was blue in the face and ran to relatives complaining how her mother was spreading lies.
Her mother got her a summer job making 10+ dollars an hours a half mile from our home ( she works st the sister plant). Kid failed s drug test. Using an idiot friend’s hot pee. She stole my dons chuck taylor’s even though they were much to big for him.
She screws up and it’s always poor pity me.
[/quote]
Could be bi-polar disorder.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]KrohDaddi wrote:
would you prefer your kids to have absolutely no self-esteem, no ego whatsoever, feel like they don’t deserve any consideration and stagger through life willing to take any abuse anyone is handing out?[/quote]
Who are you talking to?[/quote]
if i don’t specify, it is a general retort to a standard typical position
i don’t have enough specific information to know who it applies to here
if it seems to apply to you it is because the shoe fits and you must wear it
i have no idea yet
if it’s making you angry, you are experiencing a transference issue
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
[quote]tom63 wrote:
That seems like my step daughter. Lazy, can’t take criticism. Excuses etc.
At her sixteenth birthday party an old friend asked me how my twins were doing in school. I told them how they did their freshmen year. They were 2nd and 12 in their class st the end of the school year. She heard thst walking by and took a fit and ran in the house. They’re both much smarter and work harder than her, but she always made excuses .
There is so much more to this than an incident or two . After she left the house( she was told she’s following are rules or leaving) her mother found some sex tapes on her cell phone. She denied it until she was blue in the face and ran to relatives complaining how her mother was spreading lies.
Her mother got her a summer job making 10+ dollars an hours a half mile from our home ( she works st the sister plant). Kid failed s drug test. Using an idiot friend’s hot pee. She stole my dons chuck taylor’s even though they were much to big for him.
She screws up and it’s always poor pity me.
[/quote]
Could be bi-polar disorder.
[/quote]
Could be a lot of thinks Momma, reason we go to school for 14 years plus. Only way to help is the actually person needs to seek the help.
Tom, sorry man, has to be fucking hard on your wife. Mine had a very hard year and half when her son was on the dark side. Every night hearing her cry to sleep is fucking brutal on a husband. Again we just got him back about 3 months ago, fixing his mistakes etc, but he has a job and is sober.