My Boss is Getting Fed Up With Me

Off Topic
41

[quote]humanjhawkins wrote:

Have you ever thought about just walking up to him and saying (privately), “I respect you and everyone on our team. But I just prefer to keep business and pleasure separate. I’m happy to work hard to do my job, including breaking down communication barriers and team building. But I am also working toward a graduate degree in my own time, so can’t spend much non-work time socializing. I hope you’ll understand. Thanks.”

[/quote]

Thats what I’m going to do Wednesday, but first I’m going to ask my boss if he threw my bowl in the trash. That will determine where the conversation will go, and I’ve accepted the possibility of irreconcilable personality differences.

I’m still fuming over that bowl thing and if he has such a big problem, which I really didn’t think it was as large as it was, why he didn’t just come up to me and say straight up he was upset and considered my actions disrespectful. I’m also surprised I wasn’t fired on the spot the first time he interpreted disrespect, or at least say “hey man I didn’t appreciate that”.

I’m still also not sure about the bowl and if I tossed it or not. I’m thinking there was a bigger chance of leaving it in the sink then throwing it out, but it is a light bowl and I eat from paper plates all the time and am used to just throwing things out.

42

[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:

[quote]theuofh wrote:
After I found my bowl in the garbage, I was going to buy two cans of coke, then go say can we have a coke and talk about this. Except, I was going to shake his up so it exploded all over him. Then I was going to piss all over his desk and throw him out the window. [/quote]

Disregard everything I wrote before this.[/quote]

I’ll have to follow suit as well.

43

Maybe dude I wouldn’t hurt to give boss man some face time and maybe show your face at company events, I know he probably sucks as a person BUT you have to play to win ! So play the game a little, the last thing you need to worry about is job security. In the Army I have learned that something you just have to grin and bare it in order to get ahead.

Night Stalkers Don’t Quit !

44

[quote]admbaum wrote:

[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:

[quote]theuofh wrote:
After I found my bowl in the garbage, I was going to buy two cans of coke, then go say can we have a coke and talk about this. Except, I was going to shake his up so it exploded all over him. Then I was going to piss all over his desk and throw him out the window. [/quote]

Disregard everything I wrote before this.[/quote]

I’ll have to follow suit as well.[/quote]

You guys think I might be overreacting about the bowl?

45

[quote]theuofh wrote:

[quote]admbaum wrote:

[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:

[quote]theuofh wrote:
After I found my bowl in the garbage, I was going to buy two cans of coke, then go say can we have a coke and talk about this. Except, I was going to shake his up so it exploded all over him. Then I was going to piss all over his desk and throw him out the window. [/quote]

Disregard everything I wrote before this.[/quote]

I’ll have to follow suit as well.[/quote]

You guys think I might be overreacting about the bowl?
[/quote]

I personally think it’s a fool proof plan. And, who knows, maybe he’ll reward you for showing some innitiative.

46

Snow day, no exam, so I went and talked to him. Caught him right as he was about to leave the office to so I’m glad thinking about this is over.

Went fine, he has perceived no disrespect, and he didn’t throw my bowl in the garbage. I may have unconsciously escalated the situation by assuming he might have. He “didn’t recall” his comments at the chili cook-off which I mentioned directly, but he did apologize for anything he may have subconsciously said and looked away a couple times. He also said my work is good.

He did mention there may be some career implications by not ‘playing the game’, but I’m not in career mode so I’d rather do my thing and put my attention and energies elsewhere.

Either way, as emotionally charged as a sitting down and addressing of grievances can be, it was pretty restrained.

I’m still kind of upset that it was downplayed to the degree it way, as I was pretty sure he was more fed up than he was, but he expressed no sentiments to that behalf, or even that he was upset at all.

I’m just glad I didn’t accuse him of throwing my bowl out, freak out, and spray him with coke. That would have been a big FML.

47

Wow, some good and some crazy comments in this thread.

First off, never burn a bridge - you never know when you’re going to need a reference for something. Pissing off your boss, or acting out, or not attending social functions (yeah, nobody expects you to attend ALL, but to not make any attempt/appearance whatsoever is another story), will usually net you with a poor reference. If you worked for me, depending on other factors, I may mention that you have difficulty working with others, or on teams, etc. Again, before some nut jumps in here and pipes up on that, I said it would depend on a number of different factors.

Attending work functions is important to your career… Sure you say you’re not currently in career mode, but you’re thinking short term… Think a bit longer term, where you get your degree and want to apply to ABC company… You need a reference from your boss - think about if YOU were in his shoes, what exactly would you say about someone like you? Sure you’d say hard working, good at solving problems, etc. but I’m sure if asked about working with others, teamwork, etc. that you may have something different to say.

As for dishes in the sink - that’s a huge pet peeve to people. Why? Because you’re supposed to be an adult and clean-up your own stuff. Sure you said you were soaking it to wash it later, but think about the person down the hall who comes in to use the sink and sees some dirty dish just sitting there… Or if YOU were the person that alwasys ended up cleaning up the dirty dishes as they sit for DAYS… A lot of people (again, I’m not saying YOU), dump their crap in the sink, fully expecting someone else to come along and clean it up for them… At my work, I even overheard some ass saying exactly that…

The same goes for food left in fridges, etc. Some woman was put in the hospital here a couple years ago after cleaning out a work fridge… She inhaled some spores that became airborn and got very sick…

I’m sure you’ve seen/heard it before, but your MOM DOESN’T LIVE HERE…

:slight_smile:

48

[quote]Smallfry69 wrote:
…
[/quote]

I agree with most of this, however my teamwork and such is fine. I have no problem working with anyone in that office or getting stuff done.

There is a big conformity question and a social norm exists everywhere people get together, and if you interact with that group, like it or not there is a pressure to conform and some type of punishment for not conforming.

I’m not an easily indoctrinated person and I have to really believe in something to get behind it. Even by saying that my independence is more important than being a part of that culture and am willing to accept the punishments, I may have easily offended someone.

I think most reasonable people are like that to some degree, they work at jobs because they get some amount of satisfaction from the work and get paid. If either of those things are gone, most importantly the pay, they will leave the job.

Some people, have a very devoted attitude towards things. They are in there and doing whatever it takes, even molding themselves to appear more presentable and polished to others. My one coworker is like this, the one going after his PhD, and he is 100% career focused. I respect him and look up more to him than most simply because the amount of dedication he has to the cause. I will inevitably end up butting heads with him, as he is more than willing to change who he is and the face he represents to others to fit with this norm. He never drinks, I brewed a batch of beer and let some guys in the office sample it and he couldn’t finish 1 because he was getting tipsy, and was telling me he is experimenting with booze just so if he is out to dinner he can order a drink if the other person is drinking.

Its the positive/negative face thing again, where he is catering to that person’s positive face by affirming their actions by mimicing them. If I was him I would say no thanks I don’t drink, as it is my choice and by having a drink solely because they are is damaging my negative face.

Now, learning how to drink and making yourself more presentable is fine and I would also say necessary.

The problem then becomes how far do you take it, because at some point a line may be crossed where you can end up comprising your own values and ideals, just to fit in with a group. For example, peer pressure when you are younger, trying to fit a suburban middle class ideal, etc.

I guess I’m independent to fault and its not that I am unable to devote myself 100% to things, but it would take something seriously meaningful to get me behind it 100%.

Molding myself to climb a corporate ladder in an existing company with certain ideals and norms will be much harder than starting my own business or getting involved with a younger startup that I am able to be a part of and mold to my own ideals and values.

My office is not bad in that we are young, separated from HQ, and have our own clients and niche that our office is working with. I need to remember, and I think a lot of others do too, that people are able to actively assert their values, ideals, norms, and ways of being to change the world around them, instead of assigning themselves to obeying an established way of being.