[quote]PhatAznGuy wrote:
…
[/quote]
You’re 16 years old. Leave and come back when you have a job and have to deal with some of stuff.
You’ll do fine UofH, think it through, trust in yourself and you’ll succeed.
[quote]theuofh wrote:
[quote]PhatAznGuy wrote:
…
[/quote]
You’re 16 years old. Leave and come back when you have a job and have to deal with some of stuff.[/quote]
Your post was too vague,
Unless you want me to make an assumption, I’d be more than glad to post a snarky comment.
OP, I don’t like participating in any of the company activities including company picnics, Christmas parties, office birthdays and the like. I’m introverted by nature. But you know what I do? I go to every single, last, damn one of em’. And I do this because I consider being in good social standing amongst everyone in the company as PART OF THE JOB. I do this because being well-liked is as important as being a solid worker.
And you know what I’ve found? After sucking up all the initial negativity about going to a work function, I say “screw it,” take the first step forward, and end up enjoying the hell outta myself at these events. It’s gotten to the point where I have a mild degree of optimism towards a company event. Social interaction at work really is just part of the job, and you can’t just ignore it.
If you really are as busy as you say you are, then I would at least make an appearance at these work functions, and then politely excuse yourself. Nobody will have a problem with that. Good luck.
[quote]DeterminedNate wrote:
OP, I don’t like participating in any of the company activities including company picnics, Christmas parties, office birthdays and the like. I’m introverted by nature. But you know what I do? I go to every single, last, damn one of em’. And I do this because I consider being in good social standing amongst everyone in the company as PART OF THE JOB. I do this because being well-liked is as important as being a solid worker.
And you know what I’ve found? After sucking up all the initial negativity about going to a work function, I say “screw it,” take the first step forward, and end up enjoying the hell outta myself at these events. It’s gotten to the point where I have a mild degree of optimism towards a company event. Social interaction at work really is just part of the job, and you can’t just ignore it.
If you really are as busy as you say you are, then I would at least make an appearance at these work functions, and then politely excuse yourself. Nobody will have a problem with that. Good luck.[/quote]
I’m gonna have to disagree on this. Work is not a social club. In my world, I.T., we are hated by most in our company because the non-initiated, non-IT people, resent us for how quickly we solve the problems they were pulling their hair out about before they called us. Nearly every service request I get, no matter how stupid and trivial, I wind up having to explain things ad nauseum only to have their eyes glaze over like deer in headlights.
I cant tell you how many grievances have been filed on me from people that just generally dislike me, but my supervisor doesnt really care about that because my job involves solving problems. As long as I solve the problem, it doesnt matter how popular or well liked I am. I have never, and probably will never attend corporate functions because honestly, I have better things to do. Go to a company party, or get off early? I would choose to get off early every time.
OP, as long as you produce, it doesnt really matter how much your boss likes/dislikes you. Its not personal, its just business. Take care of your business and you’ll be fine. They might hold some resentment for you because you are a student and once you finish, you might not be a team member any more. Take it with a grain of salt and dont let office drama affect you.
[quote]theuofh wrote:
Long story short, I don’t have a very good relationship with him. In fact, when we are in the same room no words are usually spoken.
I’m quiet in general, but I will converse on remarkable topics or initiate conversations with coworkers based on their interests. If someone is discussing sports, or network television, or what they had for breakfast I will generally avoid those conversations for the sake of my own sanity. Its been less so lately, as I’m taking tougher grad classes on top of work and I’m usually too caught up with work, school, and lifting that I really don’t care to make conversation just for the sake of having conversation.
I communicate well w/ my coworkers on projects we are working on and I don’t think he can fault me for my job performance which has been adequate if not more so.
I also don’t get involved with big work get togethers. I don’t get satisfaction out of it, and I’m a conscientious person so if people are discussing a topic I find less than interesting I have to exercise a fair amount of self control to not say sarcastic, mean, or outright rude things. Also, but I’ve been eating at my desk and work through lunch to make up an hour of work time I miss at class.
Today we had a chili cook off, which I declined to participate in because I wanted to make up an hour of work, and I overheard somebody ask if I wanted any chili to the other people in the room. I was not in there but close enough to hear it and my boss exclaimed “I don’t know I’m done asking” or something similar in a frustrated tone.
Either way I’m torn between obliging him for the sake of less of a headache on my end or continuing my current behaviors. I feel little or no obligation to kiss ass and discuss my feelings on milk vs orange juice in the morning, what I didn’t like about the last episode of whatever is on TV nowadays, or the new sweet tea at McDonalds, and don’t really feel like I should have to either. If I wanted chili I would have went in there and had some and I have a hard time figuring out why he is frustrated.
Part of me just wants to keep turning the screws, Oh did that piss you off? Good, because I’m going to keep doing it until your head explodes. But, I also don’t want to fuck up a good job in a bad economy that I’m not prepared to leave quite yet.
He does have a tendency to complain about small things, like the guy smoking in front of the office, or the guy taking his dog to shit in front of the office, and where the landscapers park their trucks. I have no problems with him as a boss, but noticing stuff like this has led me to generally not engaging him.
I wanted to get that off my chest as I got an exam to study for and don’t want to be mulling over this all weekend. I’m actually pissed that I have to worry about this at all.
Am I being the difficult person here or is he? Any suggestions? ?[/quote]
Dude, going to a work related chili cookoff and kissing your boss’ ass are not the same thing. Chances are by constantly turning down offers to hang with your coworkers you’re coming across as an arrogant prick, and no one wants to work with one of those. You don’t have to go to every work function there is, but popping in occasionally will show effort on your part to be a part of the team.
If you don’t want to talk about Britney Spears or Prada purses, don’t. No one’s gonna twist your arm into anything you don’t want to do, but making an effort will go a long way towards developing a relationship with the people around you. Right now you seem like an unrestricted free agent, and they probably don’t expect you to re-sign. It’s really up to you what happens here.
[quote]admbaum wrote:
[quote]DeterminedNate wrote:
OP, I don’t like participating in any of the company activities including company picnics, Christmas parties, office birthdays and the like. I’m introverted by nature. But you know what I do? I go to every single, last, damn one of em’. And I do this because I consider being in good social standing amongst everyone in the company as PART OF THE JOB. I do this because being well-liked is as important as being a solid worker.
And you know what I’ve found? After sucking up all the initial negativity about going to a work function, I say “screw it,” take the first step forward, and end up enjoying the hell outta myself at these events. It’s gotten to the point where I have a mild degree of optimism towards a company event. Social interaction at work really is just part of the job, and you can’t just ignore it.
If you really are as busy as you say you are, then I would at least make an appearance at these work functions, and then politely excuse yourself. Nobody will have a problem with that. Good luck.[/quote]
I’m gonna have to disagree on this. Work is not a social club. In my world, I.T., we are hated by most in our company because the non-initiated, non-IT people, resent us for how quickly we solve the problems they were pulling their hair out about before they called us. Nearly every service request I get, no matter how stupid and trivial, I wind up having to explain things ad nauseum only to have their eyes glaze over like deer in headlights.
I cant tell you how many grievances have been filed on me from people that just generally dislike me, but my supervisor doesnt really care about that because my job involves solving problems. As long as I solve the problem, it doesnt matter how popular or well liked I am. I have never, and probably will never attend corporate functions because honestly, I have better things to do. Go to a company party, or get off early? I would choose to get off early every time.
OP, as long as you produce, it doesnt really matter how much your boss likes/dislikes you. Its not personal, its just business. Take care of your business and you’ll be fine. They might hold some resentment for you because you are a student and once you finish, you might not be a team member any more. Take it with a grain of salt and dont let office drama affect you. [/quote]
I’m gonna disagree with this. Generally speaking, if your higher ups don’t like you they will look for a way to replace you. The only exception is if you’re such an asset to the company that it’d be foolish to dismiss you.
[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:
I’m gonna disagree with this. Generally speaking, if your higher ups don’t like you they will look for a way to replace you. The only exception is if you’re such an asset to the company that it’d be foolish to dismiss you.[/quote]
Fair enough.
But I would still have the same attitude if I had a different job. Do my higher ups like me on a personal level? No. Do they like me on a professional level, of course they do. Otherwise they would have replaced me. There’s a distinct line between personal life and professional life. I choose not to mix them and I dont see, no matter what job I have, a reason to. I leave work at work, and home at home. My wife and daughter appreciate it as much as my boss does. He doesnt want to hear about the silly little things my toddler does no more than I wanna hear about who’s dating who in the office or who’s chili is the best. To me, those kinds of things are irrelevant in regards to helping the company excel and be successful.
[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:
[quote]admbaum wrote:
[quote]DeterminedNate wrote:
OP, I don’t like participating in any of the company activities including company picnics, Christmas parties, office birthdays and the like. I’m introverted by nature. But you know what I do? I go to every single, last, damn one of em’. And I do this because I consider being in good social standing amongst everyone in the company as PART OF THE JOB. I do this because being well-liked is as important as being a solid worker.
And you know what I’ve found? After sucking up all the initial negativity about going to a work function, I say “screw it,” take the first step forward, and end up enjoying the hell outta myself at these events. It’s gotten to the point where I have a mild degree of optimism towards a company event. Social interaction at work really is just part of the job, and you can’t just ignore it.
If you really are as busy as you say you are, then I would at least make an appearance at these work functions, and then politely excuse yourself. Nobody will have a problem with that. Good luck.[/quote]
I’m gonna have to disagree on this. Work is not a social club. In my world, I.T., we are hated by most in our company because the non-initiated, non-IT people, resent us for how quickly we solve the problems they were pulling their hair out about before they called us. Nearly every service request I get, no matter how stupid and trivial, I wind up having to explain things ad nauseum only to have their eyes glaze over like deer in headlights.
I cant tell you how many grievances have been filed on me from people that just generally dislike me, but my supervisor doesnt really care about that because my job involves solving problems. As long as I solve the problem, it doesnt matter how popular or well liked I am. I have never, and probably will never attend corporate functions because honestly, I have better things to do. Go to a company party, or get off early? I would choose to get off early every time.
OP, as long as you produce, it doesnt really matter how much your boss likes/dislikes you. Its not personal, its just business. Take care of your business and you’ll be fine. They might hold some resentment for you because you are a student and once you finish, you might not be a team member any more. Take it with a grain of salt and dont let office drama affect you. [/quote]
I’m gonna disagree with this. Generally speaking, if your higher ups don’t like you they will look for a way to replace you. The only exception is if you’re such an asset to the company that it’d be foolish to dismiss you.[/quote]
This. It matters that your boss likes you (if you want to keep your job). People are emotional and illogical. “Kissing ass” is what people with poor social skills say they didn’t do after they get laid off. Sad but true. Humans are social animals, and while laws are in place to protect some sort of objectivity, you can’t make 100,000 years of evolution just go away. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just sayin’… You may be RIGHT, but you may be UNEMPLOYED telling us how “right” you were!
Here’s a tip: if you don’t like being social and playing office games, be your own boss. I never worry about being fired or laid off! (I do worry about stability in a recession, though)
Learning social skillz and “playing the game” at work can be a pain in the ass, but IMHO, it’s a necessary investment in your job security. Suck it up and play nice. Good luck.
[quote]admbaum wrote:
But I would still have the same attitude if I had a different job. Do my higher ups like me on a personal level? No. Do they like me on a professional level, of course they do. Otherwise they would have replaced me. There’s a distinct line between personal life and professional life. I choose not to mix them and I dont see, no matter what job I have, a reason to. I leave work at work, and home at home. My wife and daughter appreciate it as much as my boss does. He doesnt want to hear about the silly little things my toddler does no more than I wanna hear about who’s dating who in the office or who’s chili is the best. To me, those kinds of things are irrelevant in regards to helping the company excel and be successful.
[/quote]
My boss is the opposite. He expects me to engage in a level of personal communication up and above what I would consider a professional relationship, which I am uncomfortable w/ to a degree.
He was talking in the lunch room about some Catholic youth thing he chaperoned and one of the speakers was a wife talking about how she had premarital sex. He conveyed his disgust that her husband was up on stage with her, which I found distasteful that he would bring up 1) religion and 2) his deep, very strong issues with it at work.
This would be like me going to work saying, you guys don’t work out, you will be damned to be born in hell as overgrown vaginas.
Either way, today I had a bowl of oatmeal sitting in the sink w/ water in it so I could wash it out easily, which I later found it in the garbage. I was warned before about leaving dishes in there, which I abided by and the one time since July or whatever I leave one in there accidentally, he doesn’t say shit but throws it in the garbage. I would have freaked out right then, but at the time I considered there was a chance that I may have absent mindedly tossed it, which is diminishing as time goes on.
I’m going to be out of the office tomorrow for some school stuff, but I’m going to sit down w/ him on Wednesday. I was going to suck it up and be a little of bitch and say I’ll do what you want. But now there is very little chance of that. It just took that little bit of anger to remove all fear I have of being without a paycheck. I’m also upset that as a manager, he can’t sit down an employee and have a conversation. Maybe he is testing me, but I’ll pass that test.
I understand there is a distinction between my reasonable freedom to act i.e. choose who and who I don’t associate with/what conversation I join, an acceptable amount of gruffness i.e. you ask me a question I will do my best to give you the shortest answer possible, and downright disrespect.
By having to engage in conversations or things that may make me uncomfortable is not respecting me. Ideally, people could accept that some people are different and may have a different view/expectation of the world. I mean no disrespect, but come on, give me a break. Its not that I’m a complete asshole all the time, but there will be times when that side of my personality is more evident. You can accept it and integrate it into the office, or can my ass.
leave a present on his desk. i’d like to get a nautical instrument, like a telescope, sextant or compass.
it shows that you are not exactly convivial, but not sociopathic.
and also, when in doubt do what cool people do. like david caruso, or christian slater
After I found my bowl in the garbage, I was going to buy two cans of coke, then go say can we have a coke and talk about this. Except, I was going to shake his up so it exploded all over him. Then I was going to piss all over his desk and throw him out the window.
[quote]theuofh wrote:
After I found my bowl in the garbage, I was going to buy two cans of coke, then go say can we have a coke and talk about this. Except, I was going to shake his up so it exploded all over him. Then I was going to piss all over his desk and throw him out the window. [/quote]
Just so you know, if you chose to do this, I’d fully support you on it. Please post the outcome. Thanks.
[quote]theuofh wrote:
Part of me just wants to keep turning the screws, Oh did that piss you off? Good, because I’m going to keep doing it until your head explodes…
Am I being the difficult person here or is he? Any suggestions? ?[/quote]
Difficult? Nah… Why would you think that keep turning screws (not start turning, but keep turning), pissing him off intentionally, making heads explode, etc. would make you difficult to work with/for?
Meh, my boss is fed up with me, also… But, a lot of it’s MY fault, as much as I hate to admit.
[quote]theuofh wrote:
After I found my bowl in the garbage, I was going to buy two cans of coke, then go say can we have a coke and talk about this. Except, I was going to shake his up so it exploded all over him. Then I was going to piss all over his desk and throw him out the window. [/quote]
Disregard everything I wrote before this.
[quote]theuofh wrote:
Either way I’m torn between obliging him for the sake of less of a headache on my end or continuing my current behaviors. I feel little or no obligation to kiss ass and discuss my feelings on milk vs orange juice in the morning, what I didn’t like about the last episode of whatever is on TV nowadays, or the new sweet tea at McDonalds, and don’t really feel like I should have to either. If I wanted chili I would have went in there and had some and I have a hard time figuring out why he is frustrated.
[/quote]
…am i to presume that all of your 1455 T-Nation.com forum posts are all filled with the most engaging and informative content on the internet??
and yes, i do know about the search function. i was just asking if i could make that presumption.
[quote]theuofh wrote:
After I found my bowl in the garbage, I was going to buy two cans of coke, then go say can we have a coke and talk about this. Except, I was going to shake his up so it exploded all over him. Then I was going to piss all over his desk and throw him out the window. [/quote]
guess not, my bad.
Sounds like you may be in a tough situation. On the other hand, maybe you are too sensitive. For example, it is lame that a guy would bring up religion and premarital sex issues as you say your boss did at a work function… Very lame actually.
But on the other hand, you could have said something like, “Hey, was her name Susan? Jill? Or was it Frank and she had a really deep voice? Cause it would be funny if that chick was my ex-girl… er… partner.”
Then, at least it would be him with something uncomfortable to think about.
Have you ever thought about just walking up to him and saying (privately), “I respect you and everyone on our team. But I just prefer to keep business and pleasure separate. I’m happy to work hard to do my job, including breaking down communication barriers and team building. But I am also working toward a graduate degree in my own time, so can’t spend much non-work time socializing. I hope you’ll understand. Thanks.”
Anyway, I read most of this whole thread, but not deeply. I may have missed it if you said you tried that kind of thing. Good luck.
[quote]bagshaw wrote:
…am i to presume that all of your 1455 T-Nation.com forum posts are all filled with the most engaging and informative content on the internet??
and yes, i do know about the search function. i was just asking if i could make that presumption.[/quote]
No, but I also don’t take it as a personal insult if someone chooses not to reply to my threads. I don’t label my coworkers as idiots for having these conversations either, and I will engage or start small talk over worthless things from time to time.
I might at times feel and consider myself god-like over mere mortals, but it is temporary and usually brought on by a Spike tab.