Yikes! And also lol.
I’ve blundered into the men’s room before. I know it has to be much easier for me because there’s not the “perv” element for women as much or at all, maybe, but “oh shit oh shit oh shit!” was definitely my response while, as you said, scramming. (Not a word I use often!)
When I was younger and working as a personal trainer, I moved into an apartment with another trainer. We had the first floor apartment, but a garage below us. It was for 2 cars, but we agreed he would park in there, I’d park on the street, and we set up a full rack facing the right side of the garage.
He leaves on a date, asks me what my plans are. I did not pick up the real question, so I said “Go get a drink, the library’s still open, get some groceries.”
I have the great idea to get a quick workout in. It’s my garage, so naked and barefoot squats sounds good, that way I can throw my clothes back on without them being too sweaty. This is in Florida, so the temperature is always hot. A few warm up sets and I’m going for either a 5 RM or 3 RM, I forget. As I’m at the bottom of an ATG squat, the garage door starts opening. I realize that my roommate is coming home with his GF since the house was supposed to be empty.
I start laughing as the absurdity of the situation hits, and am stuck at the bottom of a squat, with them watching my balls hanging out beneath my thighs, laughing and shaking like a madman before they closed the garage door and took off.
Never spoke about it.
Well, my first one is more embarrassing but the second one is funnier.
#2 I was bottomed out on ~700lb leg press when unexpected flatulence made an appearance.
I almost turned my ‘innie’ butthole into an ‘outie’ butthole.
My farts still make noise, so all is fine down there -thanks for asking.
I’ve often said that a heavy leg press should be a medical treatment for trapped gas. It’s magical that way, some perfect combination of pressure and angle.
I was doing cable glute pullthroughs…and was really focused on form and targeting glutes…and when i finished my set I looked around and realized that I was essentially twerking in the faces of several guys behind me …lol. I changed my positioning for the rest of my sets.
Years ago, while visiting my parents, I went with my dad to his gym. Thought I was quite the stud doing heavy leg press around all those “old” people. Let’s just say I had to race into the men’s room after I had an unexpected shart incident.
Forgot my gym clothes and worked out in my work dress clothes and that day a news crew was there. I was there on TV in dress shoes, black socks and looking like a dork with my pants pulled up to squat. My kids thought is was funny. My wife is still debating whether to claim she is married to that dork.
this is hilarious lol, keep em coming
Apart from a few missed lifts haven’t had too many.
My friend shit himself leg pressing once though.
All my stupid shit seems to happen outside of the gym (LOTS OF STUPID SHIT). I’m quite happy that I’m struggling to think of much. When taking weights off the bar after squatting it was unbalanced once so the bar fell off, not with much weight on so not even sure many noticed. Not putting clips on when doing ezbar curls has caused a couple of moments. I’ve been lucky really.
My gym buddy though, every few weeks he seems to be doing something to draw attention to himself. He was doing heavy rack pulls above the knee not long ago when one of the safetys fell off as he was doing his first rep. Bare in mind he’s north of 6ft 4". The side that fell off was in a corner where nobody could really see what was going on. He must have held what was probably his max deadlift for what felt like a minute, he was super loud as he grunted giving his all not to drop the bar. One guy tried to put the safety that fell off back on, somebody else was taking the other one off so he could drop it. Was a fantastic watch from afar.
A month before that he bailed on an incline press and somehow the weight rolled off and smashed someones shiny new iphone up.
Freshman in HS, first time in a gym. Wanted to see how much i could press overhead. Slight bend in the knees powerful thrust upward ramming the bar right into my chin. Both the bar and my skinny body fell to the floor.
I have done both of those things but not at the same time.
Was doing seated dumbell shoulder press in front of the mirror and my shoulder gave out making me launch one of the dumbells through the mirror. Made a pretty big noise and a big mess. Owner of the gym was pretty cool about it, but I was embarrassed for weeks after that.
I recently passed wind, but it was a quiet one thank goodness so I was sure I had got away with it. That is until the smell came and I knew I was doomed. The owner of the gym was training a lady in the next rack and straight up says to her out loud…Did you shit. To which she is horrified and says no. He continues to tell her she did it, until I had to say …‘Sorry Paul that was me mate, came out mid squat.’
He just replies out LOUD ‘that was a good one, i don’t need to eat dinner tonight’
About half of the gym hears this and laugh pretty hard. I just shook my head and tried not to go red.
Nothing beyond farts and fails, fortunately home gym lifting means my embarrassment is purely my own…unless I video it and post it online.
Fun bit at the end (well unless you’re going to mock the depth):
Classic:
Also not on video but years ago I was using low table for squat depth guage, failed at the bottom and had to dump the bar, just destroyed the table.
I have a finished basement gym and an adjacent unfinished room with all the industrial shit like sump pumps, the well, heater, water softener, electrical box, etc. A raccoon every now and then, so strange noises are normal.
Decided to take a break from real life and workout, wife is working remote upstairs, so I put my music on random and decide to do a short feel-good workout to recharge the day. I like industrial/instrumental/metal music, and someone gave me wireless earbuds for Christmas, so I thought I’d give them a whirl since if one falls out, I’m still at home and can find it. Lifting feels good, mind starts to get back on track, hit that little nice zen moment - mind, body, and spirit are one. All of the sudden I hear this awful sound. Just a squealing metal-on-metal noise that is mechanically wrong, and loud. Really loud.
Worried that it’s a mechanical issue and with insurance issues flying through my mind, threw down my phone, racked the weight and spent ~30 minutes going through every joint and connection in that room. Eventually I find the source.
It’s a fucking Nine Inch Nails remix. I has the dumb.
USAPL raw nationals 2009… Charlottesville, VA
Went with a few other guys I knew from the gym. I think it was the first raw nationals they did so you just needed a total to go. None of us expected to win or place but since it wasn’t too far we decided to enter.
There was an older guy Ronnie who was in his early 60s and was a very good masters lifter and his neighbor Z who was in his mid-20s and Ron had gotten him involved into lifting. He was new to it but had a lot of natural talent.
Ronnie gave the organizers all of Z’s bench and squat attempts but for some reason forgot to give them the deadlift number.
“What is your opening deadlift, Z?”
“160 kilos”
“What? Why so low, I thought you could do like 550”
“A kilo is 3 pounds!”
“Uh… no it’s not”
“Yeah it is”
“It’s not - they have a chart - go change it now otherwise you’re going to have to go up to much on your next attempt!”
Z proceeded to do a clean pull with 160 kilos, came up on his toes, walked backwards off the platform and dropped the weight.
NO LIFT!
Nothing against Westside Barbell methods but when i got into powerlifting around 2004 it was very popular - at least online they said it was the best method. Tried to do it solo but was really new to lifting so probably didn’t have the training experience to put together a good template that addressed all weaknesses (at that point was everything)
Made minimal progress (other than good mornings and JM press which went up like crazy) but managed to look like a weirdo in College Gym
“Why are you putting bands on the bar?”
“It’s supposed to make you stronger… stretch reflex bro…”
“Ok…”
“Aren’t you supposed to bend your knees when you squat”
“It’s a good morning … posterior chain bro…”
“Dude that’s going to break your elbows”
“It’s a JM press bro…”
Also didn’t have boards but grandma was going to throw away an old phone book so I used that instead off boards. It kept falling off me between reps so ended up benching with a phone book tied to my chest with a knee wrap
I guess people at the gym assumed I was dropped as a child at this point and stopped asking me lifting questions 
I’m a bit late to this party, but here goes anyway. I train at a small gym where the restrooms for both genders are just stalls in kind of the same area, dictated by the building’s spatial layout. Most people live right nearby and shower at home. There is a shower past these bathroom stalls, but I had never seen anybody use it, although I once used it to try on my new competition bikini. One day, a member from a country where saunas and bodies of water are clothing-optional came breezing out of the shower as naked as the day God made him. I said “sorry!!” and he said, “I’m not shy!” I said, “I am!; I’m downright bashful!” as I ran out. It was pretty funny, mainly in the retelling. I’m well acquainted with him - after that incident, too well - and the culture he’s from, and it was a harmless comedy of errors. But now I give the shower area a wide berth when he’s around.
If he wanted to be alpha he should have eaten the cucumber without breaking eye contact with the group, or picked it up and say “Shh, Eduardo, we will be alone soon.”
I did know a guy who would put a roll of quarters in his jeans when we went to country bars, so maybe this is a real thing?
Puked all over the leg press at a commercial gym.
Shit my pants squatting. Luckily I was in my garage gym for that one.
I missed out on seeing your story! 