More Trouble Than I Am Worth: Chaos Is The Plan (T3hPwnisher Log)

That really means a lot to me man because I have learned/copied/stolen so much from you over time. You truly are one of my big influences!

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That’s my primary motivation to fix myself. I just want to be able to play hard with my kids.

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@davemccright Iron sharpens iron!

@taylortooswift Kids just make us better. They’re worth that. And happy cake day!


AM WORKOUT (0416 natural wake up)

DOGGCRAPP Week 2, Workout B2

KB Curls
10x22.5
10x27.5
11+6+6x32/5

90 Second Bicep Stretch

Hise Shrugs
10xBar
10x175
10x285
15+9+8x355

90 second axle trap stretch against short light band (use heavier band next time)

Buffalo Bar Calf Raise
10xBar
10x175
10x285

90 second calf stretch

Buffalo Bar Squat
10xBar
10x155
4x225
6x315
20x245

90 second quad stretch

SLDL
10x135
10x185

45 second per leg hamstring stretch

END OF REQUIRED WORK

3x10 standing ab wheel

Notes:

  • Back at it, and honestly feel like I haven’t skipped a beat. Definitely had the most anabolic deload possible before this. Still had my weekly carb up last night as well: spaghetti with bison, some sourdough garlic bread and some homemade cookies that I topped with that honey I picked up in Cozumel. Was totally fueled up to tackle this as a result. My current way forward nutritionally is to famine for the next 2 weeks, so I can re-establish a baseline and get back in touch with hunger after a full on week of feasting to maximal capacity. With Easter coming up, there will be more feasting opportunities ahead, and honestly I’m ā€œover foodā€ at this point. All that said, we’re doing Texas Roadhouse tonight for a fundraiser for my kid, so I’ll still have room for larger dinners, but fasting leading up to those meals will be the way forward. I have some more thoughts on that I’ll compile when I have the time.

  • KBs were a great new element for the curls. They rotate in the hand. On that note, I may wear gloves next time, as it was a little rough on my palm. They’re also a little quicker to change out compared to DBs, as there is only 1 locking pin to deal with.

  • Hise shrugs are always awesome, and I like how it got me using a heavier load on my back before squats. I may work to hold the top position a little longer next time.

  • I need to use a more stable platform next time for the calf raises, but I still got in some good reps out of that.

  • Pleased with the effort on those squats. I most likely could have eeked out another rep on the set of 315, but this gives me a little running room to beat the logbook. That set of 245 had a slight hiccup with me needing to cough/clear my throat. I’m trying to knock out the reps quickly, rather than stand there forever with the bar on my back, as this is supposed to be a quad builder vs a full on body builder. But that set of 20 was legit: I felt my quads wanting to quit at the end there.

  • Totally mailed in the SLDLs. My back couldn’t handle it. Those dudes that did SLDLs after 20 breathing squats back in the day were made of hard stuff. Dante knew what he was doing when he recommended only using the SLDLs with non-back heavy quad work. I’ll most likely change this out next time, might use the reverse hyper. My back was also too torched to do a decent stretch.

  • Still good to get in those ab wheels.

EDIT: forgot: another BBQ PR unlocked: the owner of our favorite local spot knows me on a first name basis. As soon as I walked in, he said ā€œHow’s it going Jared? We’ll have the foodtruck back on Wednesdayā€

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AM WORKOUT (0420 wake up via alarm)

75 KB swings w/24kg bell
2.1 mile walk w/80lb vest
85x180lb reverse hypers
150 prisoner squats and 150 push ups in 10 minutes (15 rounds of 10)
50 pull aparts

BREAKFAST

Short walk w/dog

Notes:

  • Some odds and ends here. Getting in the walk of DoggCrapp, and then some of the extra stuff that I want to keep because it keeps me feeling well. A ā€œtonicā€ workout, ala Dan John, and given the 75 swings before the walk, it’s very Dan John as well. My pace was slightly faster than usual: trying to be less leisurely. When I walk with the Mrs, she pushes us to go quicker, because my normal walking pace is VERY leisurely. I’ll blame it on the two torn meniscus…es?

  • Really focused on execution on the reverse hypers and they felt AMAZING on my lower back. Between all the sitting with travel and the squats yesterday, I’m sure it’s compressed a bit, so this was a just what I needed. I know Jamie Lewis likes to make fun of the reverse hyper and GHR, but if it’s stupid and it works, it’s not stupid.

  • My original intent this morning was to push the fasting for longer, but after this walk and exercise I was HUNGRY, and I’m not going to be a martyr. I’ll only fast insomuch as it’s a result of not being hungry. ā€œComfortable fastingā€, as I heard Chris Bell describe it. I DO want to start including days of longer fasting on these walking days as time rolls on, simply as an experiment.

  • In THAT regard, fleshing out things a little further, I heard someone describing a ā€œprimal blueprintā€ as far as training went, and I really dug it in the aspect of ā€œlet training tell a storyā€. The idea was that humans, as a species, are primarily built for either short, infrequent bursts of high intensity or long frequent bouts of low intensity. Persistence hunt the antelope until it collapses from exhaustion, feast on it until you’re full, walk back to the hut. You might have to lift something heavy along the way to clear a path, and you may need to occasionally sprint from danger, but those situations are the exceptions. I’ve definitely been guilty of doing it in reverse: sprinting and high intensity ALL the time and infrequently engaging in low intensity activity. It’s why I’m appreciating cutting the lifting down to 3x a week and upping the intensity while I do it, and then engaging in more of this low intensity/long duration activity. It means I’m gonna want about 1 day a week for some sort of ā€œsprintā€, which will probably be a WOD of some variety, but otherwise, lots of walking. I’m gonna wear the vest when it’s not sunny, but once the sun comes up, I’m thinking about getting into some ā€œheavy handsā€. Might even get a heart rate monitor to actually try to stay in the proper zone.

  • Those push ups and squats were a lot harder than they should have been, once I did the walk and reverse hypers first.

  • Tang Soo Do sparring is on the radar for later tonight.

  • I keep remembering more things I wanted to document: shout out to piedmontese. I entered a contest to gift a box of meat to someone, and submitted my dad for it. Apparently I won, because they shipped it to him, and through sheer kismet, it got there on his birthday, so it was the best present ever. Along with that, I had some sheer San Diegan outrage on my cruise, as we were in Cozumel and they were serving us authentic Mexican tortillas with some traditional food/paste inside (combination of onion, cilantro, cumin and some other stuff) and this woman was leading an inquisition on our guide demanding to know if there was any wheat in the tortillas. The guide was cool about it and assured her it was only corn, and she kept going on ā€œAre you sure? Because if there is ANY wheat mixed in, my kid will have an allergic reactionā€. The guide was finally like ā€œWe don’t DO wheat in tortillas: that’s purely a northern Mexican thingā€. I kept thinking ā€œLady, they’re not going to debase themselves with your European junkā€, haha.

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Stumbled across this kids story book in our nightly book reading with junior and immediately thought of you Pwn! Now the author is English so maybe more familiar to the likes of @simo74 but this is right up your alley. I read these same books as a kid myself… anyways a picture tells a thousand words.

The next edition might need a refresh with steak added also…

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I know this very well.

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A little different.

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Primal Blueprint is a phrase all but trademarked by Mark Sissons, a former Ironman triathlete turned ā€œfunctional trainerā€ and ultimate frisbee enthusiast. He also has a line of prohibitively expensive salad dressings. He would probably have been right there with the Euro Mom adapting The Crucible to apply to wheat tortillas. Five-finger shoes and avocado oil aside, the principle of spending time at both the basement (aerobic stuff) and ceiling (strength work) of your output is something that’s appealed to me as a justification for skipping tempo-type cardio. I live close to a lot of great trails, and I do a lot of nose-breathing rucks when I’m not lifting. So far, my ticker and joints remain intact from this strategy, which is no small feat considering my sports background as a teen.

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@raven78 I really appreciate you sharing that dude, because someone somewhere else made a ā€œMr. Strongā€ reference to me and I had NO idea what it meant, haha. Clears things up.

@The_Myth Man, if only I had any reason to employ that, haha.

@Strengthish That checks out: I had heard it on Chris Bell’s podcast with Brad Kearns, who I understand is/was involved with Sissons. And I’m with it: it sounds like a pretty solid and sustainable way forward. I don’t find I respond well to distance running/activity.


AM WORKOUT (0420 wake up via alarm)

DOGGCRAPP Week 2, Workout A3

Axle Incline Bench
10xAxle
10x116
8+4+3x176

90 second dip stretch w/105lbs

Trap bar press
10xBar
7x98
9+4+6x115

90 second shoulder stretch

(4) KB Incline Tricep Extension
15x22.5
10x30
15+6+5x35

90 second tricep stretch w/105lbs

Banded chins
5xBW
5+3+3xminiband

90 second hanging stretch w/105lbs

Viking row
10x55
10x80
10x105
9x155

50 second Viking row stretch w/155lbs (ab cramp shut me down)

END OF REQUIRED WORK

3x10 standing ab wheel

BREAKFAST

Short walk w/dog

Notes:

  • Really got in some solid pumps today. Chest responded well to the incline, shoulders pumped up from the pressing, and lats responded well to the chins. I keep running into the issue that my arms are exhausted after the tricep stretch making chins VERY taxing. Just trying a warm-up rep tends to be killer, but after a little bit of time I recover enough to continue. It’s weird the connection my triceps have with my lats in that regard.

  • Tried to make a point of emphasizing the stretched position on the worksets. Paused on the bottom of the incline and trap bar pressing, stretched out the triceps, tried to hold the reps with the thumbs in the armpits on the rows, etc. All those little tricks.

  • Apparently I was a bit light on most of my work here. I’ll be able to increase weights for the most part.

  • Row weights aren’t including the axle: just what was loaded. That ab cramp was gnarly: haven’t had one of those in a while.

  • Mrs won out on our Dojang’s sparring tournament yesterday. Great to see her progress.

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AM WORKOUT (0420 wake up via alarm)

75 KB swings w/24kg bell
2.1 mile walk w/80lb vest
20 rounds of 10 prisoner squats and 10 push ups in 15 minutes
50 pull aparts

Notes:

  • Still very much a fan of being able to do this. These easy/tonic workouts allow me to come in hard and heavy on the lifting, and I get to knock out some loose ends.

  • Focusing on moving faster on the walk. Making it brisk and not too leisurely.

  • FELT the effects of that when I came back for the squats and push ups. I was moving SLOW on those. Just wiped out. Part of that, too, is most likely from the famine protocol I’ve undertaken this week after so much time feasting.

  • Got some Tang Soo Do sparring tonight. Had to skip the walk with the dog due to a work demand. Had breakfast, but am fasting until my midday meal today. Just playing around with nutrition.

  • EDIT: Forgot, I actually weighed myself this morning as a curiosity. 83.5kg/183.5lbs. That’s about 20lbs up from my lowest bodyweight last year when I transitioned toward this style of eating, and about 20lbs DOWN from where I was on 2 Mar 2023 when I initially started the switch to this approach via the Velocity Diet. Interesting spot to have settled into. I STILL don’t care to weigh myself: don’t know if I’ll ever heal that damage, but it’s at least a fascinating data point.

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Not to go too Primal Blueprint on you, but I think a great way to regulate effort in LISS is nasal breathing. Once you reach a point where you have to inhale through your mouth, you’ve exceeded your aerobic threshold.

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I always breathe through my nose, haha. But in my case my issue is going to easy vs too hard

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Ah, I see. Reformed mouth-breather here. I take it nostril by nostril, day by day

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AM WORKOUT (0420 wake up via alarm)

DOGGCRAPP Week 2, Workout B3

Band curls
15xMiniband
15xMonster miniband
8+5+5x2 minibands

90 Second bicep stretch

Viking landmine Kelso shrug
10x25
10x50
10x75
8+5+5x150

90 Second axle lat stretch w/short average bands

Landmine calf raise
10x75
10x100
11x125

90 Second half stretch w/SBB+light bands

GHRs

10xBodyweight

8+4+3x22.5lb KB behind head

90 second hamstring stretch w/22.5lb bell

SSB Squat
10xLightband
5xDoubled Light Band
5xDLB+25
5xDLB+45
16xDLB+45

90 second squat stretch

END OF REQUIRED WORK

1x10 standing ab wheel w/15 second plank on final rep

Notes:

  • Played this one by ear a little, but pleased with how it turned out, and it should move faster next time knowing how I want to execute it.

  • On those calf raises, I need a higher elevation to work on. When I was stretching at the bottom, the weight had bottomed out, and though I was getting a decent stretch, it wasn’t under any load higher than my bodyweight. Which, on retrospect, I could actually add an interesting resistance element by doing this while wearing a weighted vest, so I might try that next time ALONG with the landmine.

  • On the band curls, I may consider adding chains along with the bands as a way to bridge resistance gaps. Idea is just accommodating resistance as a means to change the resistance curve.

  • Pleased with the GHRs. Lots of room to progress by including that KB. The stretch worked well enough: I can employ a heavier load next time.

  • Those SSB squats were something else. Upon review, instead of doubling the band, I could have simply choked it, because it was losing all tension at the bottom just as a single loop. But I wasn’t that smart at the time, went with doubling it, and HOLY COW what a change that was. You can see me fly into the rack on the first unload as I learned the movement, and it didn’t take much barweight to really maximize the tension on it. That widowmaker in particular was pretty damn amazing: I was resting in the BOTTOM of the squat because the top was so intense. I may actually include the SLDL on this day and move GHRs to the buffalo bar day, because this didn’t put a lot of tension on my back and instead had it all through the legs due to the curve of the bands.

  • With the extra time for the main work, I cut my ab work short, but made it effective enough.

  • Mrs. beat me out at sparring again. We always take it to sudden death.

@Flatsfarmer I’m sure you’ll appreciate me slamming straight into the rack uprights on that first unrack of the SSB, haha.

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I realize that part wasn’t sped up but it really looked like it lol

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It felt like it too! Haha.

@Strengthish Totally forgot to reply, but something I found helpful for focusing on that was chewing gum while exercising. Forced me to keep my mouth sealed.

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Thanks for the tag! That was a really cool video.

It was good to see your use of equipment. I think that there will be more landmines and less barbells in my future.

And all the band stuff is awesome too. It was funny to see you move so fast on the unrack.

And interesting about how the bands ā€œfeel.ā€ Especially keeping the tension in your legs, even with the SSB. All the phD science guys seem to think that somehow the bands would make lifts worse for hypertrophy. Like the unloading at the bottom ruins the contraction or something. Watching your biceps, it doesn’t look like they stop working at the bottom, or that you get less of a stretch when the band tension lessens at the ā€œbottomā€ of the curl.

It was also thoughtful to pick a soundtrack I’d like. Everytime I think about fasting the words to ā€œLastā€ pop in my head, I’ve been singing/humming along to it all week!

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Appreciate you swinging by dude! And too know you are a man of culture too, haha.

Landmines are indeed quite awesome. The viking attachment really makes me a fan as well. Thrusters with the landmine feel so much better compared to a barbell.

I can’t even fathom the idea that bands would make hypertrophy worse. No better way to keep some constant tension going. Sure, it CHANGES the curve, but I remember back in the day when we were all trying to ā€œshockā€ our muscles by doing different stuff…but I guess it has to be ā€œsame but differentā€, haha.

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How’d you make the switch?

I’ve got a weirdly built jaw and nose. They ā€œlook normal,ā€ but I’ve always been a mouth breather. Only in the past couple of years did I ever pay much attention to it but haven’t been able to get to the point where nose breathing comes without making concentrated effort.

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I deliberately shut my mouth during a lot of very long runs and bike rides and used liberal spurts of Afrin to clear out my sinuses. Eventually it carried over into daily life