More Trouble Than I Am Worth: Chaos Is The Plan (T3hPwnisher Log)

This was definitely the catalyst for change. I needed that “old world flood” moment: where all the sins of the past were just wiped clean and I started over on a clean slate. The fake foods creeped in so gradually I never noticed until I finally cut them ALL out and then I realized how little of my diet was “real”. From there, I morphed the Velocity Diet onto Jamie Lewis’ Apex Predator diet, so that my healthy solid meal became an “all meat on the bone” meal, and when I did THAT I started to notice even more healing.

Here’s how I “justify” it in my mind. If my “meal” is ONLY a shake, then I’m not actually eating: I’m fasting. This is a “protein sparing modified fast”, (PSMF) which there’s a LOT of literature about out there, but the super cliff notes is that it’s a “protein only fast”, meaning we’re not GORGING on protein: we’re eating enough to prevent muscle wasting during periods of fasting. There are a lot of written benefits to fasting, and from what I’ve seen, a PSMF mimics most of these benefits, and tends to be more athlete friendly.

In that regard, I feel apt to say that I “eat carnivore”, because when I EAT, it’s meat. When I fast, I fast on protein. Shakes can fulfil that role, as can egg whites, very lean meats, etc. And as you noted: the shakes are satiating, which is nice during a fast. I don’t fast out of martyrdom: I fast because I feel like it’s the right call for me. And if there’s interest in me diving down THAT rabbithole, I can, haha.

I have the same issue! I attribute it to a lifetime of being a constant snacker. I was eating something every 30 minutes at one point. My mouth is using to constantly being in motion. For a while, I chewed on ice as a substitute, since I figured it would hydrate me, but these days the closest I do is switching to a cinnamon gum vs a sweet gum. I’m still chewing, but I keep the same piece for a LONG time, vs when I used to chew gum like a smoker: pack a day habit.


May as well use this for a quickie training update. I’m on day 3 of a 5 day weekend, so as usual life is chaotic and amazing. Lots of push ups, walking and air squats. I got in this workout while the wife and kiddo were getting ready for the morning

(2) Mat pulls
13+5+4x405

I really dig how quickly I can execute such a high quality training session like this. My warm-up is 2x135 and 1x315, and then a 4 minute workset. I’m keeping this in no matter my approach for the future: it’s just “me”.

Last night, we went to our favorite local BBQ place and I had my usual half rack of pork ribs, and they were legit the best pork ribs I’d had in my life. I made it a point to tip the pitmaster directly alongside the wait staff. He actually came out and shook my hand, and I told him that, if that was my last meal, I’d die happy. The waitress came back and told me I’d made his night. Just great to spread that positivity.

Will see if I can get in more training of some variety today.

It dawned on me that, if I did DoggCrapp, it has “blast and cruise” phases, and given my weeks off tend to be when I’m on a cruise…that alone makes it way too fitting.

10 Likes

Ah! Very interesting!

I hadn’t considered this. I think “food substitute” is probably in there somewhere for me, but I know that part of it is due to my need for movement. And I just like the taste. It’s Orbitz Bubblemint for me. Because I’m five.

1 Like

I totally get it. My mouth doesn’t care to be idle. If I’m not chewing, I’m talking, haha. And nothing wrong with bubblemint! I just can’t find a lasting flavor for that.


Got in “Sweet Eater”

Countdown of 10 to 1 on KB swings and burpees. Used a 24kg bell and got it in 5 minutes flat: an 8 second PR. Chased this immediately with a 2 mile walk w/80lb vest and then 50 push ups upon returning home. Very solid day of training.

8 Likes

I saw this cat on Instagram.

@SkyzykS Look at this too bro.

2 Likes

:rofl:

That is one bad kitty!

I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but my neighbor across the street has the limited edition Punisher Corvette in yellow. Its very nice!

2 Likes

@tlgains That is awesome! I need that cat, haha.

@SkyzykS Oh how ridiculously clutch! Dude, snap a photo if you can.


Got in a solid amount of training today. Slept in, 75 push ups and 50 prisoner squats first thing, Valkyrie made me an amazing breakfast, which we also went to a luau the night before wherein I took down massive quantities of kalua pig, teriyaki beef and shoyu chicken, such that I fasted through lunch today out of pure lack of appetite. Doing our family meal tonight, carbs ahoy.

After breakfast, I did Dan John’s Humane burpee before taking my dog for a longer walk

That’s 15 swings, 5 goblet squats, 5 push ups, then 15-4-4-, 15-3-3, down to 1.

Later, around what would be lunchtime, I did GI Jane (100 burpee chins) followed by Pukie Brewster (150 burpees), which I’m going to refer to now as “Major Payne”, since it’s about going from a certified killing machine to a civilian puke.

After that, took the kiddo for a 1.5 mile walk. They woke up sick yesterday, and have been healing, and I felt like some fresh air and sunshine would do the trick.

Speaking of that kid, check this out

This is a 10lb piedmontese beef brisket. Why do I have it? Because it was on sale. And like a dog chasing a car: I had no plans on what to do once I got it. My amazing wife asked me that very question, and before I could muster a response, my kid chimes in “I will split it with you!”

I don’t know if I could have ever been a prouder papa. That is the most precious hubris. No denying that one is mine.

13 Likes

Will do! :+1:

2 Likes

This is awesome, haha.

That brisket looks amazing, dude!!!

4 Likes

@boilerman Thanks so much! I’m excited about it’s future, haha.


Final crazy day of the weekend, and it actually was so crazy I could stick to part of the plan and get in a 5/3/1 workout in the afternoon.

5/3/1 BUILDING THE MONOLITH Week 5, Workout 1

SUPERSET (press-squat)

Axle clean and strict press away
5x113
5x133
5x153
20x113

Buffal Bar Squat
5xBar
5x175
5x215
5x250

SUPERSET (squat-BPA)

Buffalo Bar Squats
5x5x280 (30 seconds recover)

Band Pull Apart
5x20

100 chins and 200 dips in under 20 minutes

END OF REQUIRED WORK

3x10 ab wheel rollout
70x180 reverse hyper

Notes:

  • A very rare afternoon workout for me. I genuinely don’t care to train in the afternoon as it feels “too easy”. I’m loose, limber, warm, and have some meals in me. This is often a recipe for disaster, as I’ll overreach and do something stupid. It’s why I stopped using Surge: I felt TOO good. Here, I tried to make the most of it by blitzing through this workout. I have 30 second “recovery” written on the squats because it wasn’t a true 30 seconds rest, but once 30 seconds had passed I got back under the bar.

  • Very strong pressing, and got a great pump out of it. I was already 250 push ups deep into the day, and got in that insanity of burpees yesterday, so my front delts were on fire. Actually made holding the squat bar a bit tough.

  • Originally was doing 6 reps chins and 12 reps dips each round, but eventually broke it down to 5s. Still got it done again in under 20 minutes.

  • Those reverse hypers are really something. I am wiped out when they’re done. Definitely needs to stay in the rotation.

  • Final day of feasting. I am legit tired of eating, so this works out well. That said, the Mrs. hit me with a “you look HUGE” while I was hanging out in the kitchen in my wifebeater, so clearly the monolith got built. Apparently I made the most of our Pizza Ranch outing today…and I STLL have a reservation at Texas de Brazil for Sunday, so that’s gonna be my rampage meal. Chaos remains the plan.

  • Completely not training related, but we solved an escape room as a family today to celebrate presidents day, so that was pretty awesome. And my Valkyrie made me a bison meatloaf for dinner, so that’s doubly awesome.

15 Likes

AM WORKOUT (0425 wake up via alarm)

5/3/1 BUILDING THE MONOLITH Week 5, Workout 2 (Conditioning) “Middle Age Mutant Ninja Turtle”

30 minute EMOM of

  • Boxing on the BAS
  • KB swings w/47.5lb bell
  • Burpees
  • Rope skipping

25 minutes of EMOM

  • Run up and down stairs
  • 10 prisoner squats
  • 10 push ups

Finish with some basement stair jumps

BREAKFAST

Short walk w/dog

Notes:

  • My front delts are absolutely smoked after so many days of push ups, burpees and dips, and this certainly didn’t help, but still felt pretty tonic. That boxing work helped loosen things up a little. I’d been watching a lot of Tyson videos recently and really dug his combo of right hook to the body re-wind right uppercut, so tried it out a few times. I’m still patty-caking the BAS for the sake of keeping my heart rate high, but it’s still a great combo.

  • Dig me knocking out my overhead light on my first burpee. Helped create an atmosphere. Lighting can really change physique too: I look jacked when it’s pitch black.

  • Had a lot of foul ups on the rope skipping today, most likely because I was too focused on not hitting more stuff in the ceiling.

  • Chasing the 30 minutes with the stair running was pretty solid. My heart and lungs never felt too terribly taxed, but in general I was fatigued. I really like this day in general, just to get athletic all over the place. Those stair jumps at the end were my best performance yet. I’m getting about as explosive as I can be.

  • Supposed to have some Tang Soo Do sparring later tonight. Don’t think I mentioned it last time, but Mrs and I got another stripe on our belts on Thursday, so we’re halfway through the rank.

12 Likes

loving the middle aged mutant title mate. Quality

1 Like

I laughed way to hard at the light. When I first set up my home gym, I damn near broke my garage door opener when I first did overhead press. The things ya just don’t think about with a commercial gym lol

1 Like

@simo74 Absolutely dude! I figure, if I’m gonna be subterranean in my training, I may as well be a Ninja too!

@atlas13 Hah! Yup. Had to chuckle at it myself. Definite AFV level stuff.


AM WORKOUT (0410 natural wake up, snoozed until 0420)

5/3/1 BUILDING THE MONOLITH Week 5, Workout 3

SUPERSET (pull-bench)

Low handle trap bar pull
5x175
5x245
5x295
5x345
3x5x390

Axle bench press
5xAxle
5x166
5x191
5x5x216

KB rows
5x15x40kg

Poundstone Curls
100xAxle (90 unbroken)

END OF REQUIRED WORK

3x10 ab wheel
2 sets neck harness
Lateral raise dropset
20 GHRs

BREAKFAST

Short walk w/dog

Notes:

  • Woke up with some pain in the left knee. Quite possibly something I did sparring yesterday. I got both of my calves kicked and they’re a little tender. I ended up winning my class’ tournament, to include humbling the senior student, so that’s a plus.

  • I was pleased with my performance here. Bench moved quick, trap bar felt strong. In general, this has been just a very good program run for me.

  • Really trying to focus on the muscle pump on the rows and curls. One of the biggest emphasis on this run has been to maximize the value of the assistance work.

  • Was moving quick enough this morning that I managed to get in some decent back-end work after the required stuff. The ab wheel has been the most value added contribution to this program. I’ve tried not to mess with BtM too much during this run, but I do feel like that one is pretty necessary.

  • I also feel like this has been one of my most successful feast phases. I leaned into it hard and really maximized it, especially paired with a program that maximized the value of such an approach. BtM’s RX of “a dozen eggs and 1.5lb of ground beef a day” is so carnivore perfect, and I found myself looking at my physique this morning and thinking to myself “I am satisfied with this”. We, of course, always strive for MORE, but there’s a lot to be said about being content as well. I’m not as lean as I was at my leannest, nor as big as I was at my biggest, but I dig the balance I’ve found.

15 Likes

The “more” can come in the form of variety while satisfaction reigns as an ongoing state, though, right?

Really pleased to read this, and pretty much everything you write lately. It’s just happy-making to see you thriving so.

2 Likes

@EmilyQ That really means so much. I have appreciated having you in my corner through out this journey. It’s been quite an ordeal, and once we figured out “the disease”, healing from it has been incredibly eye opening, but without support it would have been incredibly lonely. It’s awesome being in this space again.

And satisfaction can absolutely continue to be ongoing. I’ve found an ability to appreciate where I am within the journey as well, and I feel like a part of that is also the confidence of knowing that I CAN change if change is desired. There’s a lot of fear to be had in “being stuck”, but when I know that whatever situation I am in is temporary and I have the ability to change should the desire arise, I can celebrate where I am AND where I am going.

1 Like

I have a “gum problem” too, my hack is that I’ve started chewing half a piece at a time and like you, chew it for a LONG time. I can usually keep it at 1-2 total sticks (2-4 1/2 stick installments). I notice my jaw isn’t as tight all the time with the smaller gum wads too. lol

2 Likes

I have to appreciate a gum chewing installment plan! Haha. Definitely relate. I’ve switched to Trident for a similar reason: very small sticks of gum. I also found out a big part of it was that I was just dehydrated. My mouth was dry and I was treating it with gum. Upping my water intake helped. Fairpoint on the jaw tightness too: I’d legit get swelling in my temporalis from too much chewing, haha.

2 Likes

Mid day update, but if ya’ll recall my story about those amazing ribs I had on the weekend and how I tipped the pitmaster directly, that BBQ place came to my work today to operate a foodtruck, and I got HOOKED UP when I ordered some chicken sliders. Couldn’t even close the Styrofoam container: heaping piles of smoked chicken breast. I’m still gonna count that as meeting the famine intent, because it’s smoked, no sauce, and lean, but also a reminder of the benefit of being loyal and appreciative, especially with the people that serve you food.

I actually learned that lesson back in undergrad (which, somehow was over 20 years ago). I lived in the dorms all 4 years and was on a meal plan, primarily because I ate even MORE back then than I do now and I would go broke trying to feed myself. Aside from meeting the girl who would eventually be my wife and frequently sweet-talking her into buying me food at the local campus restaurant, I got real sweet with the ladies working the food stations in the campus commons, and eventually it got to the point that, if bacon was running low during breakfast, they’d put aside a separate plate for me for when I showed up, and they’d give me extra helpings of whatever I asked for. I came back to that school 8 years after I graduated and they still recognized me.

And hell, even when I meet a server for the first time, I do what I can to endear myself to them. I wrote about how I went to a luau on Saturday, and when I asked for a piece of shoyu chicken, the server originally grabbed a drumstick but then looked at me and said “Oh no:I’ll give you a BIG piece”. That happens to me when I go to Panda Express too.

…I honestly only meant to write that first paragraph, but this became too fun, and maybe I’ll make it a blogpost one day, but the REAL reason I wanted to post was the say that I find myself getting excited at the idea of running DoggCrapp again, which is a pretty sure sign I should do it. These days, that seems to be my primary motivator to do anything: does it excite me? I’ve paid my dues more than enough times swallowing bitter medicine: I get to “play the game the way I want to play it” now. Which also means I don’t need to PROVE that DC works by being a zealot: I can modify as I feel fit.

I’ll need to re-educate myself on the weighted stretches. I know a few places I can look, but I’ll tag @davemccright to see if you have any resources there that you found ideal.

But one of the things I really dig about DC is the A/B/C/D/E/F/A/B/C/D/E/F style approach to the workouts, which is to say, an A and a B workout that ALSO alternates movements. For one: variety galore. But what I really dig is how it’s practically like a sodoku puzzle trying to make it all work together. Primarily because I’m going to already be committing a DC sin by running the program out of a garage gym vs a gym with machines and a lot of equipment. I DO have access to that sort of gym through my work, but I just can’t stand those environments, and I feel like I do have enough bizarre toys to be able to still make this viable.

I went through the article here to re-aquatint myself, copied down the split, and listed some of the more unique things I have access to in order to increase my exercise selection.

WORKOUT A

  1. Chest (swiss bar, dips, barbell vs axle, slingshot)
  2. Shoulders (trap bar press, BtN press, KB press, Viking press, swiss bar, close grip incline)
  3. Triceps (swiss bar, dips, slingshot)
  4. Back width (pulldowns, various chin hand placement)
  5. Back thickness (Viking row handle, mat pulls, Kroc rows)

WORKOUT B

  1. Biceps (Grenade balls)
  2. Neck/Traps (shrugs against bands, kelso shrugs, neck harness,
  3. Calves (barbell, SSB, dip belt, seated axle)
  4. Hamstrings (GHR, SLDL with axle vs barbell vs trap bar, reverse hyper, good mornings)
  5. Quad (belt squat, SSB front squat, trap bar)

This isn’t all inclusive, which is what’s awesome, nor does it include the mundane stuff (barbells and dumbbells). And then, alongside all this, I can always add bands, chains or bands AND chains to things, and bands can be reverse band, and the world is my oyster.

You’ll noted I cut out forearm training and put in neck/traps instead. Because I don’t care about training my forearms, but I WILL do some grip training somewhere along the line. I also intend to keep up my ab wheel work each workout, and integrate band pull aparts, reverse hypers and lateral raises. I also intend to still keep my weekend ROM progression 5 minute deadlift workout, because that’s just been magic.

The big part of the puzzle here is going to be setting up the garage so I can quickly execute each day without spending so much time with logistics. Again: I enjoy having to solve that puzzle. For day A, it’s going to be about setting up only ONE lift inside the rack, do, for example, dips for chest, trap bar press for shoulders and close grip bench for triceps. OR incline bench-behind the neck press-dip. Something like that.

I’ll also have to decide if I want to do a bunch of different DL variations for back width, or count on that weekly ROM progression pull to satisfy that and just focus on rows.

I’ll keep nugging on it, but so far I’m enjoying this.

7 Likes

I’m right on board with you, being excited about the program I’m doing is a huge motivator and determining factor as to whether I’m going to make gains or spin my wheels. I too, am also interested in running DC again and this time in the garage gym. Running Mountain Dog programs out of the garage have definitely turned me into a creative force when it comes to replicating machines and whatnot.

In regards to weighted stretches, there were a ton of good ones listed in the Fortitude Training ebook. My favorites for each body part are: Chest-dumbbell flye position, trying to get into the deepest stretch possible. As a runner up, I like leaning into a dipping station, with my palms on the inside portion of the bars and leaning in to get the max stretch. For back, it’s hard to beat the good old fashioned Dead hang with a vest or dip belt on. For triceps, I liked to just lean into a barbell in a squat rack At squatting height with my hands in position like they’re in position for the bottom portion of an overhead Tricep Extension, with my hands behind my head, a bit narrower than shoulder-width. For quads, I usually either sit deep into a Sissy squat or will put my foot behind me on a bench and then lean back. For hamstrings, grab dumbbells and get into the bottom of a stiff Legged deadlift, it’s basically just like the old school touch your toes stretch from PE. And here’s the shoulder stretch I like. A lot of these stretches you can find examples of on Dusty’s channel here:

6 Likes

Holy cow dude, you delivered HUGE here. Thanks so much! I appreciate how many of these DON’T involve me f**king around with weights and stuff. Really trying to make this high speed/low drag.

The stretching follows the work itself IIRC, yeah? As in, do the chest workout, then the chest stretch, then the shoulder workout, then the shoulder stretch. Vs Do the chest workout, then the shoulder workout, then triceps, etc etc, and then a full on stretching session at the end.

2 Likes