Well buddies, what do you think of the following:
Since i get married( 4 months ago ) my wife has been given about a third part of her salary to a young guy in her family who doesn’t works but has a baby and wife. The other day she also gave money to someone in her family to help her pay the rent. I have a good income ( maybe she doesn’t really needs to work but she likes to), so all the things that she regularly bought before we married, now i have to buy them to her, so i think that who is really given the money to this guy is myself( she isn’t sacrificing like she says).
finally what really makes me mad is that as a new family we need a lot of things like our own house, is she acting correctly( she says this is only going to happen while he gets a work, but i don’t see him looking for a job)or i’m wrong?
i think you should have thought about these things before you married her. im sure she didnt just all of a sudden become unbelievably generous.
I would not get in the middle of her and her family but you need to talk to her and let her know this cant be an on going thing. Just let her know that you do not agree to it and before any more money is given away she needs to discuss it with you and let it be a mutual agreement.
If it’s a temporary loan thing, then no, she’s helping family. If it’s just giving it away, that’s not cool. You have to live also. Ask her if she wants a nice house, nice car, etc. and if she says yes, then say “Well, you’re giving our nice car to your family”
That would seriously piss me off. Especially giving it to the guy without a job.
That’s fucked up.
Don’t buy the stuff she needs if she’s going to give her money away.
It’s one thing to help others, it’s another to be taken like a fool.
If the guy’s making an honest effort, maybe. If he’s just sitting on his ass, then definitely not.
If he’s not going to worry about his situation, why should you guys?
Nice situation… My brother in law has a similar deal, except his wife is woefully incompetant at keeping a job herself YET STILL wants to give her sisters $500 each 2x per year when she visits them. And $500 to these people is a lot of coin.
I agree with what others said. Does this receiver of gifts actually try to find work? If not my only gift for him would be a swift boot in the arse…
You really have to think long and hard about “giving” money to people, especially capable working age adults.
Think why they need it, have they had recent bad luck like cancer or something, or are they just lazy? Can the “gift” actually help them to learn, or is it just to make you feel better? Will they truly spend the gift wisely, or will they blow it?
Will you have to continue giving, or is this a one time only deal?
Are they gracious, or do they have the entitlement mentality?
BTW these are rhetorical questions.