Men afraid of commitment?

Off Topic
161

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
That’s probably why she had the arm/boob lock on me[/quote]

I dont know that move.

Then, what do I know of Krav Maga. [/quote]

Surely you do. All women do this to stake a claim on their men.

Grab close and press one boob into you while at a party/reception. The hand with the drink remains free to be launched into the face of intruding females.

Looks very casual and polite, but it’s not remotely.[/quote]

LOL, I’ve had this happen to me. You described it perfectly!
[/quote]

But subjectively, for the boob is purely incidental.

You must look for the eyes:

162

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
I’ve actually noticed something similar among the associates and young male partners (late 20, to mid-30s) lawyers in my firm.

Used to, they’d show up at 25 and, if not be already married, get married promptly after joining the firm.

Now, they don’t particulaly date, marry, or even chase women (or men, for that matter).

These are smart guys, generally pretty fit/good looking, often well-connected (or will soon be well-connected), making mid six figures — what used to be called a “catch” back in the day.

I’ve actually asked several about it, and, long story short, they’ve decided women are not worth the trouble.

Dating and marriage is expensive, the drama and bullshit they feel most women bring is a destraction from life, and all the society and legal system is geared against men in a relationship, and the rewards, at least dating American women, are few. They’re not even playing the field. They’ve just checked it off and do without.

The exceptions to the rule are the religious associates — mormons and Orthodox Jews being the majority of such in our office. We all are married (generally young) and have multiple children.

The female associates, in contrast, are constantly on the prowl for a husband/someone to date or sleep with, and blow through 2-3 husbands by the time they are 40.[/quote]

LOL Jewbacca those young associates are lying their asses off to you. Do you really believe young attorneys are going without tail?

This is what I think is really going on. Young singles now have the dating websites and young male attorneys find that they can use them as hookup sites and get all the poon they want. They put up profiles saying they are attorneys or just say professionals and have pictures of themselves in well tailored expensive suits and they take advantage of the young sluts that think they can get an attorney by putting out.

So these guys are getting laid once or twice a week but they don’t want to tell their boss (or partner in the firm) what they are really doing so they tell you that bullshit line.

Back when you and I were young professionals being good looking and successful wasn’t enough, you still had to have at least some game and you had to figure out how to meet single, ehem interested females. Now all you have to do is put together a good profile on Eharmony.
[/quote]

There might be something to that, but how come they allegedly fuck 2 women a week and deem none worthy to share their way better than average life with them?

One would imagine that they wanted more, however, if pussy is all there is…

I am willing to bet that Mormons and Orthodox Jews get a lot more out of the deal. [/quote]

Options. The more women I fuck the less i deem worthy. Whenever I take a good look at myself I’m like damn I really ain’t worth shit but expect a lot. But if I had sex with 15 women this year they all brought something to the table then I now expect all to be compiled in to one perfect woman.

Ex.If you date a lot of woman you will no doubt get

  1. A true sexual do anything freak. Not the kind you have to tell and ask to do stuff they just know when to do it and how.
  2. A woman so secure she just wants to pay for dinner, pay for everything for you.
  3. A woman that just likes to give head. May not be a freak but just gives it to you all the time your barely opening your eyes waking up already her head is in your lap.
  4. Cook all the time for you - maybe laundry too or another line
  5. Will workout and keep in shape.
  6. Trophy. Bring her around and everybody looks at you like how the fuck did you get her.
  7. Motivator. Some how she just helps you accomplish shit.
  8. New new, she always seems like a new girl. Can reinvent herself Relationship feels like the best first date every time you go out.
  9. Great chemistry everything is perfect - probably would be ideal except now because you got a taste you want 1-7 in her too.

Now You try asking Girl number 4, to be girl number 3 she’ll look at you like wtf? I do all this for you and your asking for that too???[/quote]

Oh, that’s really sad.

163

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]The Other Titan wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Okay cant read all of this thread.

Can someone give me some cliff notes?

Q do ever think maybe you think about all this stuff to much? Meaning you OVER think/analyse all this.

Just a thought, dont yell at me :slight_smile: [/quote]

I’m going to give what you’ve said a great deal of thought, Derek, and will respond at length after I’ve had time to really turn it over and view it from all angles. :slight_smile:

[/quote]
hahahaahahahhahahaa awesome.

I dont believe you go through relationships with your head in the clouds and the lust in your loins, but you also should not go through it like a you are a psychologist analysing every little thing. Just my .02, sometimes what makes a relationship great is a little of both of these. [/quote]

Actually, I think I do exactly that (head in clouds, loins in lust) which seems to be the concensus on this thread, if I’m not misreading AC and Chushin, etc.

I have more to say, naturally, but I need to say some stuff to my agency’s documentation system before I get fired.[/quote]

My loins are always in lust[/quote]

I can buy my own drinks, so don’t think I’m going to kiss you. And I don’t see anyone more than once a week. And this is the last post I’m writing to you until - Thursday![/quote]
Uh was that to Titan or Me?

Will you buy my drinks?

Do you purposely choose the day? Or do you just let it happen? [/quote]

You’re not allowed to have drinks with anyone. And I certainly don’t want to get beat up over you!

164

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

Oh, that’s really sad. [/quote]

No, thats inevitable.

If some men get drowned in pussy, they are spoiled rotten, the rest gets to watch from the sidelines and gets bitter and damaged beyond repair.

There are some in between, obviously.

O brave new world,
That has such people in’t!

165

[quote]orion wrote:
O brave new world,
That has such people in’t![/quote]
lol

166

Just wondering why you reacted the way you did.

Is it because you’re wary of jumping into a new relationship [with anyone]? Or is it more because you’re unsure about being with him specifically (and want to keep your options open)?

I know that at this point in my own dating life, if I found someone who is what I’m looking for, I’d be pretty quick in acting on it. In general, the sooner that moves to an exclusive [but not committed] relationship, the better. However, there’s only been a handful I’ve met who really fit that. Something like 6 women over the past 15 years? Really not that many.

From what I’ve seen of you through your writing, it doesn’t surprise me that several guys have wanted to seize that opportunity as quickly as possible.

167

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
I’ve actually noticed something similar among the associates and young male partners (late 20, to mid-30s) lawyers in my firm.

Used to, they’d show up at 25 and, if not be already married, get married promptly after joining the firm.

Now, they don’t particulaly date, marry, or even chase women (or men, for that matter).

These are smart guys, generally pretty fit/good looking, often well-connected (or will soon be well-connected), making mid six figures — what used to be called a “catch” back in the day.

I’ve actually asked several about it, and, long story short, they’ve decided women are not worth the trouble.

Dating and marriage is expensive, the drama and bullshit they feel most women bring is a destraction from life, and all the society and legal system is geared against men in a relationship, and the rewards, at least dating American women, are few. They’re not even playing the field. They’ve just checked it off and do without.

The exceptions to the rule are the religious associates — mormons and Orthodox Jews being the majority of such in our office. We all are married (generally young) and have multiple children.

The female associates, in contrast, are constantly on the prowl for a husband/someone to date or sleep with, and blow through 2-3 husbands by the time they are 40.[/quote]

LOL Jewbacca those young associates are lying their asses off to you. Do you really believe young attorneys are going without tail?

This is what I think is really going on. Young singles now have the dating websites and young male attorneys find that they can use them as hookup sites and get all the poon they want. They put up profiles saying they are attorneys or just say professionals and have pictures of themselves in well tailored expensive suits and they take advantage of the young sluts that think they can get an attorney by putting out.

So these guys are getting laid once or twice a week but they don’t want to tell their boss (or partner in the firm) what they are really doing so they tell you that bullshit line.

Back when you and I were young professionals being good looking and successful wasn’t enough, you still had to have at least some game and you had to figure out how to meet single, ehem interested females. Now all you have to do is put together a good profile on Eharmony.
[/quote]

It’s certainly possible, but the 4-5 times this has come up in the last 5 years has typically been volunteer statements from associates talking among themselves; it’s not like I enquire about people’s private lives.

The one I am thinking of was at a wedding of a senior female associate; there were nubile women literally throwing themselves at the guys, to the point that Mrs. Jewbacca had her claws out and latched on to me in classic Jewish wife defensive posture. (I think it’s the real basis for Krav Maga.)

Anyway, most of the guys were pretty much just blowing them off and dissing the girls; exact opposite of my behavior given the opportunity and time of life.

I’d have nailed at least one in the coat room. (And yes, I know my wife reads this. That’s probably why she had the arm/boob lock on me.)[/quote]

I can make no sense of what you are saying. What’s next, NBA players don’t bother nailing groupies anymore?
Here’s Magic after learning Lebron doesn’t treat himself to a 3-some after a triple-double.

168

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
I’ve actually noticed something similar among the associates and young male partners (late 20, to mid-30s) lawyers in my firm.

Used to, they’d show up at 25 and, if not be already married, get married promptly after joining the firm.

Now, they don’t particulaly date, marry, or even chase women (or men, for that matter).

These are smart guys, generally pretty fit/good looking, often well-connected (or will soon be well-connected), making mid six figures — what used to be called a “catch” back in the day.

I’ve actually asked several about it, and, long story short, they’ve decided women are not worth the trouble.

Dating and marriage is expensive, the drama and bullshit they feel most women bring is a destraction from life, and all the society and legal system is geared against men in a relationship, and the rewards, at least dating American women, are few. They’re not even playing the field. They’ve just checked it off and do without.

The exceptions to the rule are the religious associates — mormons and Orthodox Jews being the majority of such in our office. We all are married (generally young) and have multiple children.

The female associates, in contrast, are constantly on the prowl for a husband/someone to date or sleep with, and blow through 2-3 husbands by the time they are 40.[/quote]

LOL Jewbacca those young associates are lying their asses off to you. Do you really believe young attorneys are going without tail?

This is what I think is really going on. Young singles now have the dating websites and young male attorneys find that they can use them as hookup sites and get all the poon they want. They put up profiles saying they are attorneys or just say professionals and have pictures of themselves in well tailored expensive suits and they take advantage of the young sluts that think they can get an attorney by putting out.

So these guys are getting laid once or twice a week but they don’t want to tell their boss (or partner in the firm) what they are really doing so they tell you that bullshit line.

Back when you and I were young professionals being good looking and successful wasn’t enough, you still had to have at least some game and you had to figure out how to meet single, ehem interested females. Now all you have to do is put together a good profile on Eharmony.
[/quote]

It’s certainly possible, but the 4-5 times this has come up in the last 5 years has typically been volunteer statements from associates talking among themselves; it’s not like I enquire about people’s private lives.

The one I am thinking of was at a wedding of a senior female associate; there were nubile women literally throwing themselves at the guys, to the point that Mrs. Jewbacca had her claws out and latched on to me in classic Jewish wife defensive posture. (I think it’s the real basis for Krav Maga.)

Anyway, most of the guys were pretty much just blowing them off and dissing the girls; exact opposite of my behavior given the opportunity and time of life.

I’d have nailed at least one in the coat room. (And yes, I know my wife reads this. That’s probably why she had the arm/boob lock on me.)[/quote]

I can make no sense of what you are saying. What’s next, NBA players don’t bother nailing groupies anymore?
Here’s Magic after learning Lebron doesn’t treat himself to a 3-some after a triple-double.

[/quote]

What if pussy is no longer the prize?

What if, horribile dictu, there is so much baggage attached to it that you go all Nancy Reagan and just say no?

169

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
I’ve actually noticed something similar among the associates and young male partners (late 20, to mid-30s) lawyers in my firm.

Used to, they’d show up at 25 and, if not be already married, get married promptly after joining the firm.

Now, they don’t particulaly date, marry, or even chase women (or men, for that matter).

These are smart guys, generally pretty fit/good looking, often well-connected (or will soon be well-connected), making mid six figures — what used to be called a “catch” back in the day.

I’ve actually asked several about it, and, long story short, they’ve decided women are not worth the trouble.

Dating and marriage is expensive, the drama and bullshit they feel most women bring is a destraction from life, and all the society and legal system is geared against men in a relationship, and the rewards, at least dating American women, are few. They’re not even playing the field. They’ve just checked it off and do without.

The exceptions to the rule are the religious associates — mormons and Orthodox Jews being the majority of such in our office. We all are married (generally young) and have multiple children.

The female associates, in contrast, are constantly on the prowl for a husband/someone to date or sleep with, and blow through 2-3 husbands by the time they are 40.[/quote]

LOL Jewbacca those young associates are lying their asses off to you. Do you really believe young attorneys are going without tail?

This is what I think is really going on. Young singles now have the dating websites and young male attorneys find that they can use them as hookup sites and get all the poon they want. They put up profiles saying they are attorneys or just say professionals and have pictures of themselves in well tailored expensive suits and they take advantage of the young sluts that think they can get an attorney by putting out.

So these guys are getting laid once or twice a week but they don’t want to tell their boss (or partner in the firm) what they are really doing so they tell you that bullshit line.

Back when you and I were young professionals being good looking and successful wasn’t enough, you still had to have at least some game and you had to figure out how to meet single, ehem interested females. Now all you have to do is put together a good profile on Eharmony.
[/quote]

There might be something to that, but how come they allegedly fuck 2 women a week and deem none worthy to share their way better than average life with them?

One would imagine that they wanted more, however, if pussy is all there is…

I am willing to bet that Mormons and Orthodox Jews get a lot more out of the deal. [/quote]

Options. The more women I fuck the less i deem worthy. Whenever I take a good look at myself I’m like damn I really ain’t worth shit but expect a lot. But if I had sex with 15 women this year they all brought something to the table then I now expect all to be compiled in to one perfect woman.

Ex.If you date a lot of woman you will no doubt get

  1. A true sexual do anything freak. Not the kind you have to tell and ask to do stuff they just know when to do it and how.
  2. A woman so secure she just wants to pay for dinner, pay for everything for you.
  3. A woman that just likes to give head. May not be a freak but just gives it to you all the time your barely opening your eyes waking up already her head is in your lap.
  4. Cook all the time for you - maybe laundry too or another line
  5. Will workout and keep in shape.
  6. Trophy. Bring her around and everybody looks at you like how the fuck did you get her.
  7. Motivator. Some how she just helps you accomplish shit.
  8. New new, she always seems like a new girl. Can reinvent herself Relationship feels like the best first date every time you go out.
  9. Great chemistry everything is perfect - probably would be ideal except now because you got a taste you want 1-7 in her too.

Now You try asking Girl number 4, to be girl number 3 she’ll look at you like wtf? I do all this for you and your asking for that too???[/quote]

Oh, that’s really sad. [/quote]

What is really sad? Help out non-native English speakers here with a noun.

170

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
I’ve actually noticed something similar among the associates and young male partners (late 20, to mid-30s) lawyers in my firm.

Used to, they’d show up at 25 and, if not be already married, get married promptly after joining the firm.

Now, they don’t particulaly date, marry, or even chase women (or men, for that matter).

These are smart guys, generally pretty fit/good looking, often well-connected (or will soon be well-connected), making mid six figures — what used to be called a “catch” back in the day.

I’ve actually asked several about it, and, long story short, they’ve decided women are not worth the trouble.

Dating and marriage is expensive, the drama and bullshit they feel most women bring is a destraction from life, and all the society and legal system is geared against men in a relationship, and the rewards, at least dating American women, are few. They’re not even playing the field. They’ve just checked it off and do without.

The exceptions to the rule are the religious associates — mormons and Orthodox Jews being the majority of such in our office. We all are married (generally young) and have multiple children.

The female associates, in contrast, are constantly on the prowl for a husband/someone to date or sleep with, and blow through 2-3 husbands by the time they are 40.[/quote]

LOL Jewbacca those young associates are lying their asses off to you. Do you really believe young attorneys are going without tail?

This is what I think is really going on. Young singles now have the dating websites and young male attorneys find that they can use them as hookup sites and get all the poon they want. They put up profiles saying they are attorneys or just say professionals and have pictures of themselves in well tailored expensive suits and they take advantage of the young sluts that think they can get an attorney by putting out.

So these guys are getting laid once or twice a week but they don’t want to tell their boss (or partner in the firm) what they are really doing so they tell you that bullshit line.

Back when you and I were young professionals being good looking and successful wasn’t enough, you still had to have at least some game and you had to figure out how to meet single, ehem interested females. Now all you have to do is put together a good profile on Eharmony.
[/quote]

There might be something to that, but how come they allegedly fuck 2 women a week and deem none worthy to share their way better than average life with them?

One would imagine that they wanted more, however, if pussy is all there is…

I am willing to bet that Mormons and Orthodox Jews get a lot more out of the deal. [/quote]

Options. The more women I fuck the less i deem worthy. Whenever I take a good look at myself I’m like damn I really ain’t worth shit but expect a lot. But if I had sex with 15 women this year they all brought something to the table then I now expect all to be compiled in to one perfect woman.

Ex.If you date a lot of woman you will no doubt get

  1. A true sexual do anything freak. Not the kind you have to tell and ask to do stuff they just know when to do it and how.
  2. A woman so secure she just wants to pay for dinner, pay for everything for you.
  3. A woman that just likes to give head. May not be a freak but just gives it to you all the time your barely opening your eyes waking up already her head is in your lap.
  4. Cook all the time for you - maybe laundry too or another line
  5. Will workout and keep in shape.
  6. Trophy. Bring her around and everybody looks at you like how the fuck did you get her.
  7. Motivator. Some how she just helps you accomplish shit.
  8. New new, she always seems like a new girl. Can reinvent herself Relationship feels like the best first date every time you go out.
  9. Great chemistry everything is perfect - probably would be ideal except now because you got a taste you want 1-7 in her too.

Now You try asking Girl number 4, to be girl number 3 she’ll look at you like wtf? I do all this for you and your asking for that too???[/quote]

Oh, that’s really sad. [/quote]

What is really sad? Help out non-native English speakers here with a noun.[/quote]

Female Imperative.

171

[quote]on edge wrote:

I can make no sense of what you are saying. What’s next, NBA players don’t bother nailing groupies anymore?

[/quote]

No-strings sex that NBA players and rock stars, etc, get I think is a special case. Though, with false accusations of rape for money and the like out there, I think even they are more careful and this is on the decline.

The women throwing themselves at my associates are looking for relationships (probably started with sex) and the men were just not interested.

It’s not a “fear of commitment.”

It’s a cost-benefit analysis — time away from work, drama, etc.

172

[quote]orion wrote:

But subjectively, for the boob is purely incidental.

[/quote]

Nope. The boob is almost 100% of the time in a “it’s cold outside” state and used in a promising manner by the threatend committed female staking her territory.

173

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

But subjectively, for the boob is purely incidental.

[/quote]

Nope. The boob is almost 100% of the time in a “it’s cold outside” state and used in a promising manner by the threatend committed female staking her territory.[/quote]

I think you will agree that with a certain possessive positioning of the arms comes some boobage…

Alas, I may have underestimated female cunning yet again…

I am not entirely sure, but erect nipples and a fierce gaze might complete that manouver and might even be a vital part of it.

Needs more field testing.

174

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]The Other Titan wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Well, either you are super awesome or he needs a woman in his life.

Any woman really. [/quote]

I think he just wants someone around to pick up his dirty socks, that JERK. I’m going to send him a note right now, stating very firmly that THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER FRIENDSHIP.

And P.S. I only say I understand you because you’ve spent a lot of time explaining yourself. I think you could probably say the same of me, no? So don’t be mean.
[/quote]

Why am I mean.

Either you are one in a thousand and he goes for it or he needs to latch on to a woman.

Maybe a bit of both.

I think you understand people who need, need, NEED to be in a relationship a lot better than I do.

[/quote]

Some people might want, want, WANT to be in a relationship.

I was last minimally involved with this guy a year and a half or so ago. At that time, he was coming out of what sounded like some transitional post-divorce stuff. I didn’t and don’t see him as desperate, as he has definite market value and if he only wanted a relationship, any relationship, would have one. He also chooses to live in our remote area rather than in the urban settings where most of his work is centered, which suggests that a relationship is not at the top of his priority list.

Now, one possibility is that he enjoys cat-and-mousing goofy, earnest women for the entertainment value it provides and isn’t interested in a relationship at all. If so there’s a chance that I’ll wind up being drawn in and will ultimately be spectacularly hurt. Could be. I worry it! But I don’t think that’s it.

Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]

Too much wanting pretty much is needing.

Your argument is the equivalent of arguing that sluts would just fuck anybody.

They dont, the fuck as high upwards as possible.

A needy man would not just “relationship” anybody too, they go as high as they can get.

Now, as for how high his SMP might be, you have already been with one paper alpha.

To realize his potential, he would have to know its there, if he does not, he could be a total beta shlub in a nice package.

Getting a bit clingy seems to indicate that he does not know that he is enough. [/quote]

But doesn’t it all depend upon what your definition of value is when you determine what is the highest you can get?

I think it does. [/quote]

That’s an interesting question… I’ve always been interested in people I consider way out of my league, like “10s” or at least solid “9s” in my mind. LOL [/quote]

You seem to be a woman.

Of course you are.[/quote]

Are you saying that we aren’t interested in dating women out of our own league? If I’m just looking to hook up I might drop my standards to a 6 but if I’m looking for something more I definitely wouldn’t be settling either. [/quote]

You cant get a woman out of your league.

You can get a woman in your league.

A woman however can bat above her league if she uses agressive sexuality, i.e. if she sluts it up.

You slut it up and see where it gets you. [/quote]

I disagree with you on this one. I’ve dated out of my league and I’ve never used aggressive sexuality to do that. Brainwashing perhaps, but “slutting it up”, never![/quote]

Did you get him into a LTR with all bells and whistles?

Because if not , what do you think he was in it for?[/quote]

I guess it depends on your definition of a long-term relationship. These were guys that I saw for probably 2, maybe 3 years. I’m actually the one that facilitated the break ups not them. I’m not sure what the bells and whistles would include, lol. I mean we went out, did fun things, I was friendly with his friends and family and so on… I was far from being like a dark secret or something.

175

Orion I figured out what I find so annoying about you.

At first I thought it was just your world view and aspie bitterness about women, but now I realize what it actually is.

You just marble mouth all the fuckin time, have you ever wrote a concise post in your life? Do you talk like this in the real world? Shit conversations with you must be like doing LSD.

176

[quote]The Other Titan wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]The Other Titan wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Okay cant read all of this thread.

Can someone give me some cliff notes?

Q do ever think maybe you think about all this stuff to much? Meaning you OVER think/analyse all this.

Just a thought, dont yell at me :slight_smile: [/quote]

I’m going to give what you’ve said a great deal of thought, Derek, and will respond at length after I’ve had time to really turn it over and view it from all angles. :slight_smile:

[/quote]
hahahaahahahhahahaa awesome.

I dont believe you go through relationships with your head in the clouds and the lust in your loins, but you also should not go through it like a you are a psychologist analysing every little thing. Just my .02, sometimes what makes a relationship great is a little of both of these. [/quote]

Actually, I think I do exactly that (head in clouds, loins in lust) which seems to be the concensus on this thread, if I’m not misreading AC and Chushin, etc.

I have more to say, naturally, but I need to say some stuff to my agency’s documentation system before I get fired.[/quote]

My loins are always in lust[/quote]

I can buy my own drinks, so don’t think I’m going to kiss you. And I don’t see anyone more than once a week. And this is the last post I’m writing to you until - Thursday![/quote]

Emily, if you ever laid eyes on me you’d be asking to buy my drinks and praying I’d plant a passionate one on ya. I’m sorry but Thursday is not good for me I already have plans with Sturgeon that day.

Yours very truly,

Lusty Loins
[/quote]

Right… If badgering me on the forums constitutes “having plans”.

177

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
I’ve actually noticed something similar among the associates and young male partners (late 20, to mid-30s) lawyers in my firm.

Used to, they’d show up at 25 and, if not be already married, get married promptly after joining the firm.

Now, they don’t particulaly date, marry, or even chase women (or men, for that matter).

These are smart guys, generally pretty fit/good looking, often well-connected (or will soon be well-connected), making mid six figures — what used to be called a “catch” back in the day.

I’ve actually asked several about it, and, long story short, they’ve decided women are not worth the trouble.

Dating and marriage is expensive, the drama and bullshit they feel most women bring is a destraction from life, and all the society and legal system is geared against men in a relationship, and the rewards, at least dating American women, are few. They’re not even playing the field. They’ve just checked it off and do without.

The exceptions to the rule are the religious associates — mormons and Orthodox Jews being the majority of such in our office. We all are married (generally young) and have multiple children.

The female associates, in contrast, are constantly on the prowl for a husband/someone to date or sleep with, and blow through 2-3 husbands by the time they are 40.[/quote]

LOL Jewbacca those young associates are lying their asses off to you. Do you really believe young attorneys are going without tail?

This is what I think is really going on. Young singles now have the dating websites and young male attorneys find that they can use them as hookup sites and get all the poon they want. They put up profiles saying they are attorneys or just say professionals and have pictures of themselves in well tailored expensive suits and they take advantage of the young sluts that think they can get an attorney by putting out.

So these guys are getting laid once or twice a week but they don’t want to tell their boss (or partner in the firm) what they are really doing so they tell you that bullshit line.

Back when you and I were young professionals being good looking and successful wasn’t enough, you still had to have at least some game and you had to figure out how to meet single, ehem interested females. Now all you have to do is put together a good profile on Eharmony.
[/quote]

There might be something to that, but how come they allegedly fuck 2 women a week and deem none worthy to share their way better than average life with them?

One would imagine that they wanted more, however, if pussy is all there is…

I am willing to bet that Mormons and Orthodox Jews get a lot more out of the deal. [/quote]

Options. The more women I fuck the less i deem worthy. Whenever I take a good look at myself I’m like damn I really ain’t worth shit but expect a lot. But if I had sex with 15 women this year they all brought something to the table then I now expect all to be compiled in to one perfect woman.

Ex.If you date a lot of woman you will no doubt get

  1. A true sexual do anything freak. Not the kind you have to tell and ask to do stuff they just know when to do it and how.
  2. A woman so secure she just wants to pay for dinner, pay for everything for you.
  3. A woman that just likes to give head. May not be a freak but just gives it to you all the time your barely opening your eyes waking up already her head is in your lap.
  4. Cook all the time for you - maybe laundry too or another line
  5. Will workout and keep in shape.
  6. Trophy. Bring her around and everybody looks at you like how the fuck did you get her.
  7. Motivator. Some how she just helps you accomplish shit.
  8. New new, she always seems like a new girl. Can reinvent herself Relationship feels like the best first date every time you go out.
  9. Great chemistry everything is perfect - probably would be ideal except now because you got a taste you want 1-7 in her too.

Now You try asking Girl number 4, to be girl number 3 she’ll look at you like wtf? I do all this for you and your asking for that too???[/quote]

Oh, that’s really sad. [/quote]

What is really sad? Help out non-native English speakers here with a noun.[/quote]

The loss of joy and wonder in the gifts each woman brings, which is eroding Airtruth’s capacity for contentment in any of the women he’s involved with, if I’m not misreading him. But of course, maybe I did misread.

178

[quote]LoRez wrote:
Just wondering why you reacted the way you did.

Is it because you’re wary of jumping into a new relationship [with anyone]? Or is it more because you’re unsure about being with him specifically (and want to keep your options open)?

I know that at this point in my own dating life, if I found someone who is what I’m looking for, I’d be pretty quick in acting on it. In general, the sooner that moves to an exclusive [but not committed] relationship, the better. However, there’s only been a handful I’ve met who really fit that. Something like 6 women over the past 15 years? Really not that many.

From what I’ve seen of you through your writing, it doesn’t surprise me that several guys have wanted to seize that opportunity as quickly as possible.[/quote]

Thank you! I’m flattered.

I’m not opposed to exclusivity at all, I guess what I was reacting to was the startle factor. It felt like I’d been caught with my hand in the cookie jar, somehow. And since it’s happened before, this business of questions or statements I wasn’t ready for, I thought there might be a simple answer that everyone knows but me. What has wound up happening in every single instance (all two of them, lol) is that I wind up first sidestepping the question or statement, then very shortly thereafter feeling as if I’ve been cagey and maybe dishonorable to someone I think deserves better, and then guiltily telling everything I’ve ever done or thought, and then finally reiterating, but really weakly, that I need time. And then getting confused about whether I do or not.

I’m actually very good about discouraging men I’m not interested in. It’s only the ones I like that make me stupid.

And yes, I think I may need more time having nothing to do with this guy, but more to do with having moved very quickly from relationship to relationship, starting at 16.

But then on the other hand, I’m not sure what is the appeal of dating around other than the idea that there’s an ideal hidden somewhere, if I just go out with enough men, many of whom are tedious and some of whom give off women-hating vibes. Nothing’s more fun than watching a guy’s face twist with hatred as he describes his psycho ex over a plate of wings.

179

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
I’ve actually noticed something similar among the associates and young male partners (late 20, to mid-30s) lawyers in my firm.

Used to, they’d show up at 25 and, if not be already married, get married promptly after joining the firm.

Now, they don’t particulaly date, marry, or even chase women (or men, for that matter).

These are smart guys, generally pretty fit/good looking, often well-connected (or will soon be well-connected), making mid six figures — what used to be called a “catch” back in the day.

I’ve actually asked several about it, and, long story short, they’ve decided women are not worth the trouble.

Dating and marriage is expensive, the drama and bullshit they feel most women bring is a destraction from life, and all the society and legal system is geared against men in a relationship, and the rewards, at least dating American women, are few. They’re not even playing the field. They’ve just checked it off and do without.

The exceptions to the rule are the religious associates — mormons and Orthodox Jews being the majority of such in our office. We all are married (generally young) and have multiple children.

The female associates, in contrast, are constantly on the prowl for a husband/someone to date or sleep with, and blow through 2-3 husbands by the time they are 40.[/quote]

LOL Jewbacca those young associates are lying their asses off to you. Do you really believe young attorneys are going without tail?

This is what I think is really going on. Young singles now have the dating websites and young male attorneys find that they can use them as hookup sites and get all the poon they want. They put up profiles saying they are attorneys or just say professionals and have pictures of themselves in well tailored expensive suits and they take advantage of the young sluts that think they can get an attorney by putting out.

So these guys are getting laid once or twice a week but they don’t want to tell their boss (or partner in the firm) what they are really doing so they tell you that bullshit line.

Back when you and I were young professionals being good looking and successful wasn’t enough, you still had to have at least some game and you had to figure out how to meet single, ehem interested females. Now all you have to do is put together a good profile on Eharmony.
[/quote]

There might be something to that, but how come they allegedly fuck 2 women a week and deem none worthy to share their way better than average life with them?

One would imagine that they wanted more, however, if pussy is all there is…

I am willing to bet that Mormons and Orthodox Jews get a lot more out of the deal. [/quote]

Options. The more women I fuck the less i deem worthy. Whenever I take a good look at myself I’m like damn I really ain’t worth shit but expect a lot. But if I had sex with 15 women this year they all brought something to the table then I now expect all to be compiled in to one perfect woman.

Ex.If you date a lot of woman you will no doubt get

  1. A true sexual do anything freak. Not the kind you have to tell and ask to do stuff they just know when to do it and how.
  2. A woman so secure she just wants to pay for dinner, pay for everything for you.
  3. A woman that just likes to give head. May not be a freak but just gives it to you all the time your barely opening your eyes waking up already her head is in your lap.
  4. Cook all the time for you - maybe laundry too or another line
  5. Will workout and keep in shape.
  6. Trophy. Bring her around and everybody looks at you like how the fuck did you get her.
  7. Motivator. Some how she just helps you accomplish shit.
  8. New new, she always seems like a new girl. Can reinvent herself Relationship feels like the best first date every time you go out.
  9. Great chemistry everything is perfect - probably would be ideal except now because you got a taste you want 1-7 in her too.

Now You try asking Girl number 4, to be girl number 3 she’ll look at you like wtf? I do all this for you and your asking for that too???[/quote]

Oh, that’s really sad. [/quote]

What is really sad? Help out non-native English speakers here with a noun.[/quote]

The loss of joy and wonder in the gifts each woman brings, which is eroding Airtruth’s capacity for contentment in any of the women he’s involved with, if I’m not misreading him. But of course, maybe I did misread.
[/quote]

That’s a pretty accurate “representative sample” of what’s out there these days. It’s not like he is losing capacity for contentment or doesn’t appreciate what each woman brings, he just want’s more than a one-trick pony. That’s not so unreasonable…

180

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
I’ve actually noticed something similar among the associates and young male partners (late 20, to mid-30s) lawyers in my firm.

Used to, they’d show up at 25 and, if not be already married, get married promptly after joining the firm.

Now, they don’t particulaly date, marry, or even chase women (or men, for that matter).

These are smart guys, generally pretty fit/good looking, often well-connected (or will soon be well-connected), making mid six figures — what used to be called a “catch” back in the day.

I’ve actually asked several about it, and, long story short, they’ve decided women are not worth the trouble.

Dating and marriage is expensive, the drama and bullshit they feel most women bring is a destraction from life, and all the society and legal system is geared against men in a relationship, and the rewards, at least dating American women, are few. They’re not even playing the field. They’ve just checked it off and do without.

The exceptions to the rule are the religious associates — mormons and Orthodox Jews being the majority of such in our office. We all are married (generally young) and have multiple children.

The female associates, in contrast, are constantly on the prowl for a husband/someone to date or sleep with, and blow through 2-3 husbands by the time they are 40.[/quote]

LOL Jewbacca those young associates are lying their asses off to you. Do you really believe young attorneys are going without tail?

This is what I think is really going on. Young singles now have the dating websites and young male attorneys find that they can use them as hookup sites and get all the poon they want. They put up profiles saying they are attorneys or just say professionals and have pictures of themselves in well tailored expensive suits and they take advantage of the young sluts that think they can get an attorney by putting out.

So these guys are getting laid once or twice a week but they don’t want to tell their boss (or partner in the firm) what they are really doing so they tell you that bullshit line.

Back when you and I were young professionals being good looking and successful wasn’t enough, you still had to have at least some game and you had to figure out how to meet single, ehem interested females. Now all you have to do is put together a good profile on Eharmony.
[/quote]

There might be something to that, but how come they allegedly fuck 2 women a week and deem none worthy to share their way better than average life with them?

One would imagine that they wanted more, however, if pussy is all there is…

I am willing to bet that Mormons and Orthodox Jews get a lot more out of the deal. [/quote]

Options. The more women I fuck the less i deem worthy. Whenever I take a good look at myself I’m like damn I really ain’t worth shit but expect a lot. But if I had sex with 15 women this year they all brought something to the table then I now expect all to be compiled in to one perfect woman.

Ex.If you date a lot of woman you will no doubt get

  1. A true sexual do anything freak. Not the kind you have to tell and ask to do stuff they just know when to do it and how.
  2. A woman so secure she just wants to pay for dinner, pay for everything for you.
  3. A woman that just likes to give head. May not be a freak but just gives it to you all the time your barely opening your eyes waking up already her head is in your lap.
  4. Cook all the time for you - maybe laundry too or another line
  5. Will workout and keep in shape.
  6. Trophy. Bring her around and everybody looks at you like how the fuck did you get her.
  7. Motivator. Some how she just helps you accomplish shit.
  8. New new, she always seems like a new girl. Can reinvent herself Relationship feels like the best first date every time you go out.
  9. Great chemistry everything is perfect - probably would be ideal except now because you got a taste you want 1-7 in her too.

Now You try asking Girl number 4, to be girl number 3 she’ll look at you like wtf? I do all this for you and your asking for that too???[/quote]

Oh, that’s really sad. [/quote]

What is really sad? Help out non-native English speakers here with a noun.[/quote]

The loss of joy and wonder in the gifts each woman brings, which is eroding Airtruth’s capacity for contentment in any of the women he’s involved with, if I’m not misreading him. But of course, maybe I did misread.
[/quote]

That’s a pretty accurate “representative sample” of what’s out there these days. It’s not like he is losing capacity for contentment or doesn’t appreciate what each woman brings, he just want’s more than a one-trick pony. That’s not so unreasonable…[/quote]

This was the piece that made me think it sad:

She’ll never exist now. The cup will eternally be half empty. Isn’t that sad?